Growing up is hard to do
by sunshineJ13
Summary: Post breaking dawn...a Jacob and Nessie story with a few twists along the way. Family, friends, High school, Imprinting, college life, and maybe something more sinister? Rated M for Lang. Enjoy.Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

**I of course don't own a thing it all belongs to SM.**

***As I go back and reread this chapter I realize how horrible it is but bear with me because I think it gets better as the story goes on…Skip ahead to see if i'm telling the truth...* **

**A/N: well I've been reading on the site for awhile and i guess i wanted to give it a try? well here's the first chapter. the first few are going to be in Jakes POV but as Nessie grows it will be in both. I always wanted more with the family and friends so it will have a lot of the cullens and the wolfpack. and fair warning sorry for the spelling and grammer errors. Well thanks and enjoy.**

**JPOV**

I was lying in my bed and the sun was leaking through my window and I was dreading this day, but also looking forward to it, only because I got to see my reason for existing. Months had passed since the whole "volturi thing" and for the first time in a long time things were finally settled down. I was just about to re-enroll in school on the rez because even though Nessie was the most important thing to me in my life, what good would I be as a lazy uneducated guy?

It was the Saturday before school started and I was about to tell Nessie that I wouldn't be there all the time like I have been. I flung my long gangly legs over the edge of my bed and stretched all my mussels out. I glanced at my small room littered with dirty clothes and other unnamable crap and stifled a laugh. I got out of bed and walked over to an overflowing basket of clothes and picked out some cutoffs, a plain white t shirt, some boxers and socks and smelled them just to make sure they were clean. Yup they were, man I loved my sister if it wasn't for her I'd probably never have any clean clothes. Rachel was nice enough to come over and help out around the house for Billy seeing as I was a bit preoccupied with Nessie all the time.

I attempted to walk out of my room but stumbled over some shoes and an old pizza box. I grabbed my towel on the way out and headed for the shower. I stripped and hopped in and let the warm water cascade over me. There was a nagging in my chest that I could now easily place. Nessie. I needed to see her. Eight hours away was just becoming too hard and a little daunting if you ask me. I quickly washed up and got out. I toweled dry, got dressed, brushed my teeth gathered all my crap off the floor and left for my room. I tossed all of the dirty stuff in my hands onto the floor, man I was getting messier by the day. I made a mental note to try and clean up a bit in here. Ha fat chance. I strolled over to the closet pulled out my favorite pair of Nikes. I slipped the on and then unsuccessfully tried to make it out of my room without tripping over something. I slammed my door shut and jogged to the kitchen and seen my dad at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a muffin reading the local paper.

"Hey Jake where's the fire?" he asked without even looking up from his paper. Man he was really observant. Or did it radiate off of me that I was that anxious to get out and see Nessie.

"Uh no fire just wanna get the day goin' yah know?" I replied

"Mhm." He said sarcastically.

"Well if your done, I uh have some stuff to do today."

"yeah sure um don't forget about school Monday. I mean I know it's been a while since you've gone so don't forget just sayin'. And I want you to know…well I'm proud of you for going back. This is gonna be a lot for you to handle with Nessie, your pack and all…So uh yeah." He trailed off and took a sip of his coffee avoiding eye contact. I stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room awkwardly. Billy was never the one to show his emotions much but when he did I always felt weird. But it was nice knowing my dad felt this way.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "uh thanks dad. And I remember school that was one of the things I had to do today…tell Nessie." I instantly got my anxious and antsy to leave and see her.

"Oh well okay son. Have a good day tell the uh Cullens Hi." I was thankful my dad was finally warming up to them because they were now well kinda my family.

"Sure, sure dad. Later." I replied walking by him and patting on the shoulder then i was out the door. Once my feet hit the outside I was sprinting towards my Nessie. I made it in no time and came to door of the Cullens huge house. I could smell some enticing smell and the vampire odor I had gotten used to. I glided up the stairs and rang the doorbell. Seconds' later pixie flung the door open.

"Morning Jake." She greeted happily.

"Hey Shorty. What's happen'?"

"Mmm nothing planning my next shopping trip to L.A. here to see Nessie or was it me you came to see?" I scoffed and walked into the house.

"Sure it was you, I was wondering if you'll include me in your next trip?" I over enthusiastically replied, because her eyes began to sparkle. I immediately backtracked. "Whoa I see that…that thing in your eye. I was just kidding I'm here for Nessie."

"Hm you know how I feel about your attire, that is something that will be changed eventually if you're gonna keep hanging around you know." I groaned knowing it was probably true she always got what she wanted. Damn persuasive vampire. "But her Bella and Edward should be here shortly. In the mean time Esme is making you breakfast in the kitchen." And with that she bounced away. Emmett and Jasper were on the couch playing a video game yelling at each other. Blondie was perched at the piano playing some tune I had no idea what it was. Alice had taken post at the computer looking up hotels in L.A. for this weekend and Carlisle was sitting on an arm chair in the corner reading a massively huge book I wouldn't even dare to touch.

"Good Morning Jacob, it's nice to see you again." Carlisle said looking up from his book and offering a smile.

I grinned sheepishly back at him. "Uh Morning doc, a uh bit of light reading?" I questioned jokingly. He chuckled.

"I guess you could say that." He replied. Just then my stomach let out a loud yowl. Doc chuckled again. "Esmes' in the kitchen just finishing up." He added with a grin.

"Thanks." I couldn't wait to eat some of that food. I mean I'll eat just about anything, but Esme is one of the best cooks I know up there with Emily and Rachel. Lately she's been making me all of my meals since I'm always here. For not eating damn she can cook. I waltzed in the kitchen to be smacked dead in the face with one of the greatest smells ever.

"Good morning Esme." I said plopping down in one of the bar stools.

"Good morning Jacob." She said placing a huge plate of mouthwatering food in front of me. She gave me a huge smile that made me feel all warm. It was like she was a mother to me, I mean she fed me and seemed to care for me close enough to a mother.

"Wow this looks amazing! Thanks you really shouldn't have." I said just to be polite because I was lying...she really should have and i was glad she did.

"Oh Jacob, you know I love to cook and you and Nessie are the only ones that can eat. I'll take whatever chance I can." It was like she radiated love. It just dripped off her in buckets.

"Thanks a lot…again." I smiled back.

"Well eat up dear. I assume Nessie will be here shortly." I nodded and she walked out of the kitchen but not before rubbing my back motherly. I dug in knowing that Nessie would be here soon. I knew Nessie had just hunted last night so she wouldn't want 'solid' food for a day or so. I finished in record time and I could feel the dull ache in my chest loosen alerting me she was near and as if a confirmation I smelled her sweet scent. I spun around on my seat to see her charging into the kitchen. She looked about eight but her ageing had slowed significantly.

"Jake!" she squealed jumping into my arms fitting perfectly like she was made for them. I hugged her close to my chest and buried my face in her curls taking in her scent. "I missed you." She whispered after a few seconds.

"I just seen you a few hours ago when I put you to bed." I laughed. Her lower lip jutted out and I felt anxious that I'd hurt her feelings. Jeeze I was such a pansy now, freaking over a kids pout. I guess i had an excuse she was my imprint for crying out loud. "What?" I questioned anxiously.

"You didn't miss me?" she asked me slowly.

"Of course I did I was just kidding." A wide smile spread across her angelic face. I kissed her forehead and set her down. "So what do you wanna do today kiddo?" I asked.

"Can we go to the beach?" she bounced around on the stool, her curls bouncing with her.

"Sure just have to ask your mom and dad." I laughed and she was gone. I could hear her asking Bella and Edward if she could go to beach in the next room.

"Well I don't see why not." I heard Bella answer.

"That seems reasonable Renesmee , as long as Jacob promises to get you home safe and by eight o'clock." Edward continued

"He promises!" I heard Nessies eager voice reply.

"For some reason little one, I don't think you can answer that you are not Jacob." Edward snickered. I took this as my cue and rounded the corner.

"Hey Bells, Edward. Yeah I promise I will bring Nessie back in one piece and we'll be home by eight. Scouts honor." I said placing one hand over my heart and held the other up. Nessie giggled and Bella and Edward just scoffed at my stupid joke. _Well I don't care what they think, at least Nessie laughed. _I thought to myself causing Edward to laugh.

"Okay, well have fun. Renesmee sweetheart don't forget your bathing suit and towel." Bella said hugging Nessie. Nessie pulled away nodded and went to hug Edward.

"Come on Jake! Help me pick out a bathing suit." Nessie yelped already on her way up the stairs to her room here.

**A/N: so? well this is giving back story of what's been going on. let me know what you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**well seeing as i'm not super rich and my name isn't Stephanie i obviously don't own anything it all belongs to SM.**

**A/N: Well i don't know what anyone thinks...so i'm gonna keep writing. even if no one liked it i probably still keep going. but here's chapter two. i will constantly update probably a chapter a day or so? i think, but i'm not making any promises seeing as i'm on summer vacation. but i'd like to hear from you good or bad.**

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**JPOV**

Nessie busted in her room like she was the police, and went straight for her dresser. She tugged open the drawers rummaging through them looking for all of her bathing suits I can only assume. I walked over to her yellow canopy bed and flopped down. Seeing as it was only a twin my legs flopped lazily over the bottom. I thought this room had more of Nessie in it than her room at the cottage, since she spent more time here than there. The yellow walls were littered with pictures. Pictures she had drawn and pictures of her and the family. I was up there more than a few times and that made my heart burst with joy knowing she wanted to see me even when I wasn't here. I propped myself on my elbows and looked over to her and she was clumsily making her way to her bed with a pile of clothes she couldn't even see over. She had inherited the clumsy gene from Bella. She was always falling all over the place, but I was always there to catch her. Then it hit me I wouldn't be there with school starting Monday. I sighed at the thought and jumped off the bed to help her before she ran into something.

"Well, well what is all this Nessie?" I asked setting what she had on the bed.

"I told you Jakey you have to help me pick out a bathing suit for the beach!" I looked over the massive pile and wondered how many damn bathing suits could a little girl have? Damn Pixie.

"Mmm okay then spread them out I suppose." After twenty minutes of extensive looking she managed to decide on a blue and pink _SpongeBob _her favorite cartoon character. I of course didn't help much because she looked adorable in everything. She went to the bathroom to slip it on underneath her green sun dress and came back out with a huge smile plastered across her face.

"You ready little one?"

"Yes. I just need shoes." She answered

"'Kay. But do we have to make this an all day event, you choosing shoes?" I laughed knowing she was too much like Alice when it came to fashion…cared way too much. She rolled her eyes, reminding me so much of Edward I chuckled and laid back on the bed ready for another long debate on what to wear. She came out of the closet wearing a pair of white sandals with flowers up the strap.

"Wow that was fast." I stated grinning.

"Okay I'm ready!" She reached her hand out for me to take which I did all too willingly and she began skipping out of the room. I grabbed her beach bag sitting by her dresser on the way out. When we made it downstairs the scene was basically the same except Esme was sitting on the stairs with a sketch book humming to herself, and Edward and Bella were tangled on the couch together reading books. Upon reaching the last stair Esme got up with that smile.

"Jacob I made you and Nessie a picnic, just a few things really." Man she thought of everything I would probably die of starvation if it weren't for her.

"Thanks Esme. You always think of everything." Her smile got bigger and I wanted to hug her. What a weird feeling wanting to hug a vampire. I heard Edward chuckle from behind his book. Esme placed her hand on my arm and I didn't even cringe from the cold. That's really weird I'm getting way to close to these people.

"Have fun dears and be safe." She said directing the last statement at Nessie.

"S'okay grandma I'll be with Jake."Nessie replied surely.

"I know honey." She said hugging Nessie. I started for the door as Nessie rounded her family with kisses. She always had to say a proper goodbye to everyone, even if she would only be gone for an hour.

"Well um bye we'll be back by eight." I said awkwardly. Everyone kind of just nodded except Blondie who rolled her eyes. I swallowed back a blonde joke cause I just wanted to go. I picked up the basket off the table by the door and flung the door open and waited for Nessie. She skipped over to me and gave one last wave and we were out the door. We bounded down the stairs and started walking towards first beach; we made it to the beach in good time just as we got near the shore I could smell one of my wolf brothers…Seth.

"Seth!"Nessie shrieked running over and hugging his leg. I think Seth was her favorite wolf…besides me of course.

"Hey Ness! Jake!" He replied while rubbing Nessies back with his monstrous hand.

"Come on guys let's build a sandcastle!" Nessie interjected flopping to the ground on her knees starting to dig what I can only guess is the mote.

"So what are you doing out here so early for Seth?" I questioned while sculpting a lame tower.

"Uh, well Leah's thinking of moving out." He replied playing absently with the sand.

"Really, to where?" I questioned genuinely interested. Leah had gotten easier to live with since she broke away from Sam's pack to become my beta, so this was a shock.

"Mm she says to Oregon for school."

"Well that's not too far, it's good that she's doing something with her life. But that still doesn't explain why you're here?" I stated.

"Well the reason Leah's going so far is because Mom and Charlie are getting more I dunno, 'Serious'" he said putting air quotes around serious. I was still confused. What was wrong with that, we all knew it was coming. He sighed and continued when he took in my puzzled expression. "Leah feels like she's moving on to fast like she's forgetting dad and I kinda can't help but feel the same way." Oh now I got it.

"Oh well…" I shifted in the sand I didn't really know what to say. I don't think my dad has ever dated after my mom died. So I did the best I could. "I'm sure it is fast but I think…well I think Charlie makes your mom happy. I don't think your dad would want her moping around all the time."

He sighed "I guess you're right. I just wish she would slow down so Leah would shut the hell up. She's been trying to make my mom feel guilty." Ha so Leah I chortled. Nessie, Seth and I finally finished up our castle about an hour later. Seth decided to leave to see if his house was still in one piece knowing Leah's temper it wasn't.

"Can we go in the water now Jake?" Nessie questioned already taking her sandals and dress off. I laughed and stripped off my t-shirt socks and shoes and scooped Nessie up on my way running to the water. She was cracking up as I ventured out deeper and deeper eventually fully submerging us both. When we both resurfaced she continued where she left off laughing, causing me to laugh to. I swam us to shore laughing and set her down just far enough where the waves could wash over her feet. After our fit of laughter was done, she laid in sand with her soaking wet curls clinging to her face and her eyes closed. I thought this might be a good a time as any to tell her about Monday.

"Hey Nessie."

"Hmm?" she replied like she was deep in thought.

"Uh…uh well you see. You see…that cliff over there?" I chickened out at the last minute I don't know why I was so nervous to tell her. She opened her eyes and looked to where I was pointing.

"Yeah. What about it?" she questioned curiously.

"Your mom and I used to jump off that cliff a while back." Her eyes lit up, uh oh me and my big mouth.

"Really? I wanna try!" she yelped getting to her knees bouncing up and down anxiously.

"Maybe when your older tyke." I said brushing the wet hair from her face. She fell back on her butt crossing her arms and pouting.

"Aw come on Nessie." I groaned. "Do have any idea what your dad would do to me if I took you cliff diving? He'd rip me limb from limb." Her lips twitched trying not to crack a smile. "Do you want me to live?" I questioned.

"I guess so." She said jumping up and tackling me into the sand. I laughed and scooped her up for a hug. She wrapped her small arms around my neck and whispered. "I don't want you to go anywhere Jake. I love you too much." My heart almost exploded in that second. She had never told me that before and to hear he say it was all I could ever need.

"I love you too Nessie." I answered simply into her hair. I hugged her for a few more minutes and put her down across from me and crossed my legs she followed suit and looked me in the eyes. "Look Nessie I uh need to talk to you." Her face instantly grew anxious. So young and she already knew those words were never good. I laughed internally.

"What is it Jake?" she whispered looking at her hands in her lap.

"Well you see I have to go back to school." She looked at me questioningly, so I went on. "So that means I won't be around all the time." As realization hit her, her eyes instantly filled with tears. I reached over and pulled her into my lap. "Don't cry Nessie. I'll still get to see you! I Promise!" I babbled trying to ease her sadness. It killed me to see her cry.

"When?" she asked barely audible enough for me to hear, if I didn't have super hearing I'm sure I would have missed it.

"Well when I get out of school. And I'm sure any home work I have can be done at your place. And I'll be there to put you to bed every night and I'll be around every weekend." I explained

"Why do you have to go to school? Can't you just do what I do with grandpa and daddy?" She sniffed.

"Mmm I think I should just go to school and get my schooling done the normal way. While you're learning I will be too and I'll be a senior so I'll get out early most days so I'll be there at like one o'clock every day, I promise."

"Okay Jakey if you have too. I just want to be with you all the time. You're my best friend." It was amazing how amazing she was. All I had to do was explain once and she got it.

"You're mine too Nessie. Don't ever forget that I'm yours, Forever and always." I whispered into her hair. Boy oh boy was that true. More than anyone could ever guess. "You okay?" I asked worriedly.

"Yeah I guess so. But I'll miss you a lot when you're gone." I hugged her even tighter

"I will too Nessie every second I'm away." The rest of the day went by smoothly. I ate my food Esme had packed me it was amazing even for a sandwich. I tried to get Nessie to eat something but she was still full from her hunt. When 7:15 rolled around Nessie was exhausted and frankly so was I. I decided I would walk to my house and drive Nessie and I home seeing as she passed out cold in my arms walking to my house. When I got home I threw Nessies beach bag, Esme's basket and my shirt and shoes in the front seat and gently placed her in the back seat buckling her up and kissed her head. I slid in the driver seat and started my car and started cruising down the roads at a good pace in no rush to be apart. About fifteen minutes later I pulled up in the Cullen's drive way. Bella and Edward were on the porch waiting.

"Hey Jake." Bella greeted me with a smile as I climb up the stairs. "How was the beach?"

"Eventful." I answered truthfully. I went over the day's events in my head for Edward cause I didn't wanna wake Nessie by talking plus I was too tired to form sentences.

"Hmm." Edward said in reaction to my thoughts. Bella looked imploringly at Edward.

"Care to share?" she asked a little annoyed I didn't choose to speak out loud.

"It's nothing really Love. It seems Jacob has decided to go back and finish his high school education. He starts Monday on the reservation." Edward replied following me in the house as I took Nessie up to her room.

"Really Jake? That's great!" she said happily. All I could do was grunt.

"It seems our daughter has worn out the big bad wolf." Edward snorted I assumed Bella wasn't too pleased by my answer. Bella giggled. We had reached Nessies room I gently placed her on the bed and took off her shoes as Bella and Edward talked in the hall about something I couldn't comprehend because my brain was so clouded with exhaustion. I grab a blanket off the rocking chair that used to be in Bella's room at Charlie's and placed it over her and kissed her head. I tip toed out of the room and gently closed the door.

"What's up?" I questioned groggily.

"Maybe we should have this conversation tomorrow Jacob? I can't decipher a single thought. Are you even forming them?" Edward asked.

"Uh I don't really think so. I don't sleep so great at my house." I replied

"So I see. Well why don't you go to my old room and sleep here for the night?" He offered which totally surprised me. I really should have said no I felt so gross with all the salt water and the sand but I would probably just wreck my car if tried to drive home, and I'd get to be in the same house as Nessie.

"You're more than welcome to shower here and we could get you some shorts to sleep in?" Edward offered again answering my thoughts. I guess I was staying then.

"Uh thanks." I replied leaning against the wall. Bella and Edward laughed and Edward left down the hall without another word.

"I'll go grab you a towel Jake and your clothes will be laid out on the bed. Have a good night sleep and don't worry about a thing" she said turning on her heels the opposite way of Edward. I stayed where I was propped up against the wall fighting to stay conscious. Bella came back 30 seconds later with a fluffy white towel, a face cloth and body wash and handed them to me.

"Shower and sleep Jake." She said hugging me.

"Sure, sure." And with that I was made my way to the shower.

I opened the door to the huge bathroom and stripped off my clothes sand falling everywhere. I'd have to remember to clean that up in the morning. I started the shower and stepped in letting the hot water flow over me, trying to push me even further under. I quickly washed up and got out. The shower was filthy, another thing to do tomorrow. I dried off and wrapped the towel around my waist and walked out to the room. When I opened the door there on the bed was a brand new pack of t shirts, boxers, socks and a pair of basketball shorts I pulled them all on climbed on top of the bed. I cringed when I thought of Bella and Edward doing something on this bed. I didn't really care I was too tired to. Upon my head hitting the pillow I was out.

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**A/N: well? let me know good or bad. Reviews please?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Its all SM**

**A/N: this is my first FF so bare with me :) Thanks. sorry about all mistakes.**

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**JPOV**

I woke up the next morning with a pair of eyes on me. Nessies who else? I would seriously flip if any of the other people in this house were watching me sleep. I peeked open my eyes to see an adorable Nessie sitting cross legged in the bed looking at me with a huge smile.

"Well good morning sunshine." I grumbled my voice hoarse from sleeping. She giggled.

"You mean good afternoon." She corrected. I bolted up and looked at the clock sure enough it was almost 12:30.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I questioned slyly narrowing my eyes playfully. She giggled again.

"Momma and Daddy said I couldn't. They said something about you being dead on your feet last night and they wouldn't be surprised if you didn't wake up for years." She babbled, I jumped up and pounced on her softly causing her to burst out laughing, I tickled her sides and her neck making her laugh even harder.

"Jake….Please, stop! Can't…breath." She choked out. I stopped and pulled her into a hug. Burying my face in her curls and taking in her sweet scent like always.

"I love you Jacob. I'm so glad your mine." She said after she controlled her breathing. Every day it was something new. She claimed me today and I was happier than ever that she had. I _was _hers always have been always would be.

"So you put your claim on me? That's it I'm stuck for life." I joked. But I really hoped.

"Yup, no way out." She replied shortly. I laughed at how true it was for me more than her. "Grandma made us breakfast, but you were taking too long so I ate without you but she just finished lunch so come on." She said jumping off the bed pulling me with her.

"Wait Nessie can't a man go to the bathroom in peace?" I questioned

"Sure, sure." She grinned walking out of the room and down the stairs. I grinned back like an idiot because she used my catch phrase. I walked over to the bathroom and took a leak and while I was washing my hands I noticed a note toothpaste and a toothbrush.

_Dog,_

_Make sure you use this as much as possible. You stink enough as is it. You don't do this much do you?_

_Rosalie._

I laughed and began brushing my teeth. I noticed after a few seconds that the bathroom was spotless. I was embarrassed that I left my mess for someone to pick up; Esme no doubt. I felt horrible. I finished brushing my teeth and made my way down the stairs. I stopped at the bottom and looked around. Nessie was sitting at the coffee table on her knees drawing and humming to the mp3 player Edward had gotten her for Christmas. Bella was lying across the couch with a book stoking Nessies hair, and Edward was at the piano.

"Hey Jake, how'd you sleep?" Bella asked setting the book down on her stomach looking over at me.

"Uh great actually, thanks. I'd uh ask you the same thing but we all know that'd be like asking you if you want something to eat." I laughed. Bella just rolled her eyes. "Where is everybody?" I asked really caring for some reason...here we go getting attached to them even more.

"Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett all went hunting. Esmes' in the kitchen and Carlisle just went to the hospital for a bit he should be back shortly." Edward answered not looking up from a piece of sheet music. "Esme has Lunch for you and Renesmee in the kitchen." Esmes name sparked the same shame as before about the bathroom.

"Jacob don't worry about it. I'm sure Esme didn't mind." Edward said answering my thoughts.

"I was going to clean it today honest. I was just so tired last night." I said trying to justify it to myself more than anyone else.

"I know Jacob. I read it in your thoughts. Honestly don't beat yourself up." He commented. "You can take Renesmee and go eat if you'd like." Right on cue my stomach let out a large rumble. Edward Bella and I all laughed causing Nessie to look up from the vibrations I guess. A big smile stretched across her perfect little features. She pulled the ear phones out and continued to smile.

"What are you guys laughing at?" she wondered curiously.

"Jake's stomach you better go get him fed before he eats the couch." Bella replied, Nessie Snickered. And I thought my jokes were bad. Ha. Edward snickered probably at my thoughts cause if it was at that joke he was seriously whipped. He let a small growl slip, causing me to laugh. Nessie looked up at me questioningly; I just shook my head and helped her up taking her hand and leading her to the kitchen. I don't know how she did it but Esme was always placing the plates down right when we walked in the kitchen with her trade mark smile. I grinned sheepishly at her, and went to help Nessie onto the stool.

"What's for lunch grandma? Nessie said looking at her plate.

"Fettuccini and garlic bread sweetheart." She replied sweetly. I laughed internally at the stupid garlic joke in my head.

"Jacob dear, I heard what you said…about cleaning the bathroom I mean. And really dear I don't mind at all. I knew how tired you were. Don't feel bad really it comes with the territory." She said making me feel worse I could feel my cheeks burn hot at the embarrassment. I just kept eating. I wonder what she meant about 'it comes with the territory'. "I hope you don't mind but I also washed your beach clothing." Great she's just trying to make me feel worse. I swallowed my food and answered.

"Thanks a lot Esme it really means a lot to me." I said in my most sincere voice.

"It's no problem at all. Enjoy your meal sweethearts." She rubbed my back again and kissed Nessie on the forehead and walk out of the kitchen. Nessie and I ate our meal and when we finished, I cleaned up our plates it was the least I could do. As I was cleaning I heard a shuffling but didn't pay it any mind really, and then I felt Nessie on my back like a little monkey. I started laughing and so did she; I pulled her around my back and set her on the counter next to the sink. Our laughing finally settled down and the way she was looking at me was like she was looking into the depths of my soul. After a few seconds of quite she grinned.

"You need a hair cut Jake." She tangled her hands in my hair.

"I'll be sure to cut it before school tomorrow." Her face fell and she let her hands drop. So I grabbed a handful of bubbles and put it on her nose. She giggled and scooped some up and put it on my head I shook it off onto her, giving her a fit of the giggles. I was done so I grabbed her up and threw her over my shoulder and went to the living room where Carlisle, Bella, Esme and Edward were all sitting around like they were waiting for us. I panicked.

"It's okay Jacob we'd just like to talk." Edward said answering my thoughts. I put Nessie down on the floor and then she ran over to sit in-between Bella and Edward on the big couch. Esme and Carlisle were sitting in the love seat with soft smiles.

"O…okay." I stuttered still nervous.

"Would you like to have a seat?" Carlisle commented. I nodded because I was already feeling light headed. What if they plan to take My Nessie away from me?

"Jacob will you please sit down and stop jumping to conclusions." Edward said picking from my head again. I had realized I hadn't moved. I walked to the nearest chair and flopped down.

"Well Jacob I would just like to say how truly proud we are, that you are taking the initiative to complete your high school education with no one telling you. We all know how hard it is going to be away from Nessie for such an extensive period of time." Carlisle started. They're trying to soften the blow huh? I heard Edward sigh. Could they just get to the bad news already it was torture waiting.

"Jacob. We are not giving you any bad news…will you please relax?" Edward said with a frustrated edge to his voice. I took a breath I didn't know I needed; apparently I was holding my breath. I still didn't feel at ease. All I could do was stare at Nessie across from me playing with a few of Bella's curls. I needed her by me. As if she knew she got up, walked over to me, moved my arms and pulled herself into my lap. I instantly felt better some of the tension left my body. I heard Bella and Edward sigh. Well?

"As I was saying we are proud of you. Esme and I have grown very fond of you Jacob, as if you were our own." I smiled and it meant a lot to me, I felt like they were surrogate parents. I spent just as much time with them if not more than my own father. We were supposed to be mortal enemies and here they are telling me I'm like a son to them. They were truly great people. "Edward informed Esme and I about your sleeping issues."

"Sleeping issues? I didn't know I had one." I commented looking quizzically to Edward.

"yesterday when you were falling asleep on the top of the stairs you were thinking of how restless you are during the night being so far from Nessie." Edward answered. Oh that.

"Well yeah I guess I do." I looked down at Nessie who had a smile on and she put her hand to my cheek showing me how she didn't sleep so well either and last night wasn't as bad because she could sense me in the other room. I felt better knowing she felt the same way. I looked back at Carlisle who continued.

"After talking we have all came to the decision to offer you Edwards's old room to stay in while you are in school to hope that it will help you get a better night sleep so you can excel further at your studies." I wasn't expecting that. My tension released a little more. I looked at Nessie again who had a brilliant smile lighting up her beautiful face.

"Wow really? Um Thanks a lot." I said still a little stunned.

"Of course Jacob, territory remember?" Esme said. I had no idea what she was talking about. Edward laughed quietly.

"Esme, Jacob has no idea what you mean by 'territory' would you mind clarifying to him what you talking about?" Edward stated. She turned to me with her warm smile and a shy expression touched her face.

"Well Jacob…" she started shyly. "I have looked at you as my son and a part of this family for quite some time now. I have been treating you like I do my own 'children'. I've cleaned up after my children on numerous occasions and if I could cook for them I would. I consider you my child therefore it is my territory to treat you as a biological mother would." When she finished I could feel a prick in the back of my eyes I got up put Nessie on the chair behind me and walked to Esme. She stared up at me with a kind and shocked expression. I leaned over and picked her up into a massive bear hug. Everyone in the room laughed, including Esme. I sat her back down on her feet and smiled at her my biggest smile I could. Those words meant more to me than she knew.

"Thanks Esme I've been feeling the same way, like you could be my mother." I replied awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck. Her answering smile was blindly warm and beautiful. She wrapped her small arms around my waist and I hugged her back. She let go and sat back down next to Carlisle and I went back to Nessie and pulled her back on my lap.

"Well Jacob now that is clear that you are just as much a part of this family, we would like to offer you the same opportunities we are offered."Carlisle stated. I was confused.

"We would like open a bank account for you." He said blatantly. Whoa say what?

"I…I don't understand." I answered back. Carlisle stifled a laugh

"Well each one of us has one and we would like to offer you it too."

"But I…I couldn't do that." I said still shocked. "Well I would accept the bank account only if I got an after school job to help build it up?" I offered not wanting to seem like I was quick to jump at the money. I heard Nessie let out a whimper and I looked down at her. She kept her head down so I couldn't see her face. I looked back to Carlisle.

"Well Jacob we would like you to focus on getting excellent grades to help you get into a good college." Okay I knew I wanted to go to college, but I would have to save a shit load to get into a good college if that's what they wanted. I did pretty decent when I was in school before but I highly doubt Ivy League worthy…would that matter to Carlisle and Esme? I guess my plan would be do as well as I could this year and then I could get a job after I graduate, work my ass off then go to college when I get some money up. "I guess I could get a job after I graduate and save up to go to somewhere good around here later?"

"Well Jacob…you see in just a few short years Nessies growth will have slowed significantly and shortly after she will as you know stop growing altogether. Edward and Bella would like to enroll her in public high school at that time, to attempt to give her normalcy and as much of a human life as possible." His tone made me think there was a problem?

"I assume something's wrong?" I muttered apprehensively awaiting my fate.

"Well seeing as I took a job at another hospital further south, we are not in the public eye. We are very careful not to draw attention to us living here. Normally at this point we would pick up and move our lives very easily. But we have ties here that we have never had before. We have Charlie and of course we have you." Okay where is he going with this?

"Okay?"

"Well sending Nessie to a school the Cullen's have attended would raise a red flag." Okay Doc spell it out for me please. I looked at him imploringly, trying to get him from beating around the bush.

"You see Jacob we'll be moving upon Nessies sixth birthday." My heart skipped a beat and then started beating faster than I think I've ever heard it. I think I knew somewhere in the back of my mind this was going to happen, I just didn't want to accept it. But now that it was spelled out for me I guess I couldn't deny it anymore. Nessie seemed calm; I assumed they had already spoken to her about it?

"Why can't she commute to school?" I choked out breathless.

"Please let me finish Jacob. We are offering for you to come with us. We didn't want to just spring it on you so we are letting you know five years in advance. We know that you have a life here with your pack your father and all and we in no way are forcing you to come. But we have already stayed long enough we have to go when the time comes." He finished. I heard Nessies heart speed up waiting for my answer I felt through the roof! They would let me go with them where ever to be with Nessie. To be honest I didn't even give it a second thought.

"So I can go with you guys?" I asked just to be sure.

" Of course." Esme replied.

"Well yes I would like to go." I heard Nessies heart slow back to normal. So did mine.

"Jacob this is not a decision to be taken lightly." Carlisle commented a little stressed.

"To be perfectly honest Doc, I go where Nessie goes." Nessie looked up at me with tears in her eyes and flung her arms around my neck, taking me a little by surprise.

"Nessie what's wrong?" I questioned confused by her reaction. I just said I was going.

"Because now I know you'll be with me forever and I won't ever, ever have to leave you. I was so scared you were going to say you wanted to stay here!" she sobbed into my shoulder.

"Shh, it's alright Nessie I promise I will never leave you." I whispered into her hair one of my most favorite places on this earth. It was true I never would no matter what. I rubbed her back and after a few minutes she calmed down and sat back on my lap drawing invisible pictures on my arms.

"Well Jacob now that you've made up your mind, we will be moving 3o minutes south of Astoria Oregon. There are some great colleges around and I'd like you to look into a few." I nodded wondering how far it was from forks.

"It's about a four hour drive, but I'm sure you could run it in about two."Edward stated answering my thoughts yet again.

"S'not bad." My thoughts began to become more logical. I was I no way going back on what I said to Nessie though. I can barley handle being in La Push fifteen minutes away let alone being four hours away. How was I going to tell my pack? Better yet…when? I mean had close to five years.

"Jacob?" Carlisle said severing my thoughts.

"Huh?" I asked again at full attention.

"I was just saying…Esme and I would like to pay for your college education." Wait. You just offered to open a bank account for me, take me in free of charge, let me be with my reason for existing and now they want to pay for me to go to college? There has to be a catch…be their guard dog? Edward scoffed

"Like we'd need you to protect us." He snorted. Bella, Carlisle and Esme all looked at Edward quizzically.

"Jacob seems to think there is a catch; with everything you have just offered he feels it's too good to be true." Esme looked at me as if I had offended her.

"Jacob, I can assure you there is no catch. How many times must I tell you? You are just as much a part of this family as Bella and Edward are. You complete the dynamic of this family." She's always saying something to make me feel loved. It was nice to hear it.

"Uh I'll accept the offer to move with you, but I don't want to be the family charity case. As soon as I graduate I'll get a job and start saving money so I can help with paying for college." I declared

"If you insist, but really it isn't necessary." Carlisle expressed. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably.

"It would help me sleep better at night."

"Alright, if you must to keep your conscious clear then so be it." He said throwing hands in there air as a sign of surrender. "So would you like to move in here or how would you like to arrange this?" he asked I thought for a few seconds.

"Well I was wondering if I could just play it by ear, night by night. I don't want to totally bail on my dad…"I trailed off who was I kidding. I got a bed that I could actually fit in, I got to be closer to Nessie and I got breakfast in the mornings I probably wouldn't sleep at home again. "On second thought I better bring most of my clothes here." they all chuckled. Maybe Billy would like the quiet and Hell I'm never home as it is.

"However you'd like to do it Jacob is perfectly fine." Esme replied.

"Okay Jacob so everything seems to be settled. We will of course have more discussions as the time grows nearer."

"Sounds good to me Doc." I replied breathing a sigh of relief, it really wasn't bad. I set Nessie on the ground and stood up to shake hands with the Doc and hug Esme.

"Thanks again for this." I said uncomfortably.

"Jacob please stop thanking us. You are family." Esme responded sweetly and smiled. I answered back with my own smile. I turned to face Nessie who was looking at me.

"What?" I asked curiously

"Nothing." She said joyfully skipping for the stairs. "Come on Jake lets draw." I followed her deep in thought of what had just happened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey you know the drill SM did it.**

**A/N: okay first of all i want to thank the people who did review it meant a lot i wasn't writing for myself! Sorry this one took a bit longer to update but here it is...the last chapter of the build up...i felt i needed to explain how Jake was feeling so here you go. sorry about grammar and spelling.

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**JPOV**

The rest of the night my head was reeling and by the end of it, it was pounding. I put Nessie to bed said goodbye to my new 'family' and then went to tell my dad all the news. I hopped in my car and drove slow to help me clear my head. I pulled up in front of my small red house and sighed. This would always be my house. But where ever Nessie is, is my home. I dragged myself out of the car and into the house. Billy was sitting in front of the TV watching a Mariners game.

"Hey Jake, what happened to you last night? You look tired." He said looking me over. I walked over and dumped myself on the couch, I leaned over and put my head in my hands.

"Look uh dad we need talk about something." The more I thought about this the more it tore me up that I was leaving Billy to fend for himself.

"Jake what's wrong are you okay?" he questioned anxiously.

"Yeah I'm fine…but things…well things are about to change." I muttered through my hands

"Come on Jake, just tell me what's wrong?" I heard him shift in his chair. My dad and I had a long talk about my decisions. Over all he was supportive of them, which didn't surprise me. It still didn't make me feel any better about the situation with him being alone. He told me he was proud of me and not to worry about him and also what a great opportunity I was being given. I promised myself I would at least try to come around three to four times a week. I went into my wreck of a room and started cleaning up. An hour and a half later the room was spotless. I had packed a duffel bag full of clothes and the photo album Pixie had given me of Nessie, the pack, and I, I didn't have many material items. I looked at my room one more time and closed the door. It felt like a new chapter of my life was starting with the closing of that door. I walk into the living room to say bye to Billy.

"Well dad I'm gonna head over to the Cullen's place. I have to have the Pixie cut my hair."

"Okay son. Well you'll promise to visit your old man right?"

"Of course dad, I'll stop by tomorrow after school." I dropped the duffel bag on the floor and rounded the wheel chair to give him a hug. "Well I love you." I said quietly after I had let go.

"Love you too Jake. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, well I'll see you tomorrow." I said awkwardly. I picked up the duffel bag and tossed it over my shoulder and walked to my rabbit. I flung open the door, dropped in the seat, and shoved the duffel bag to the passenger's side. I took a deep breath and leaned my head back against the seat. I felt horrible leaving Billy, but I mean it was bound to happen someday right? Anyways I was right down the street if he needed me. I told myself trying to relax. I started the car and started back to my new house. When I got there I wasn't sure if I should open the door or ring the bell. I settled for a knock and a walk in.

"Hello anyone awake?" I snickered. Jasper and Emmett were watching a game on TV, Alice was sitting against the couch cross legged with a huge stack of magazine. "I'm here to ruin your life." I grinned. I saw Esme frown from the top of the stairs.

"You could never ruin our lives Jacob." She said coming over to hug me.

"Unless of course you eat our young, but seeing as none of us can have any spawn that's not really a problem, and your freaky wolf thing will keep you from eating Nessie…so welcome to the family Mutt." Emmett said from the couch grinning. Esme shot him a disapproving look.

"Good evening Jacob." Jasper nodded from the couch.

"Hey Jake!" Pixie said happily looking over her magazine.

"Hey guys. Ready for your pet dog?" I joked. Emmett's boisterous laugh filled the room.

"Well Jacob if you'd like you can go put your stuff up in your room." Esme said kindly.

"Thanks." I said making my ways towards the stairs. "Hey Shorty would you mind giving me a hair cut? It seems a little someone disapproves of my hair length." I asked over my shoulder.

"Sure! I'll see you in the bathroom in ten minutes" she replied brightly. I ventured up the stairs to my 'room' and opened the door. When I did I was shocked to see things had changed. The bed was placed up against the top left window wall with a new hunter green comforter. In the top right corner was an over sized recliner, and all over the place was pictures of Nessie and my family…old and new. There was a cherry wood desk in the bottom left corner with a laptop, a big picture frame with pictures of Nessie and a note. I dropped my bag on the floor by the door and walked to the desk and picked up the note.

_Jacob,_

_Welcome to your new home and room. Please make yourself at home. The computer is yours for school and leisure. Edward had mentioned that your cell phone was a little beat up so we got you a new blackberry located in the top drawer of the desk. We know how you feel about money but we got you a credit card located with the phone in the top drawer. Also Alice took the liberty of stocking the closet full of new clothes and shoes. Please treat this as your own home. Towels and washcloths are located in the hall closet. Please feel free to change the room as you would like._

_Carlisle, Esme, and Alice_

Holy shit! One night here and I already have more than I've probably ever had. I picked up my bag, threw it on the bed and walked over to the closet a little afraid of what the Pixie had done. I inched the door open slowly and seen my worst nightmare confirmed, clothes, shoes and more crap…tons of it. I turned right back around, walked out, and slammed the door shut. I couldn't handle all of this. What in the Hell was going on? I didn't deserve this. I never would. I walked to the bed and fell forward burying my face in the blanket. What was I doing here? I wonder if I runaway now would they be offended? Then I thought of Nessie…I couldn't do that to her. I would have to live with my guilt until I could pay them back.

"Jacob?"I heard pixies tinkling voice from down the hall. "Are you coming? I've been waiting for ten minutes and thirty-five seconds." I groaned and pushed off the bed dragging myself down the hall towards the bathroom. I walked in and pixie was perched on the counter swinging a pair of scissors around her tiny finger. There was a chair in the middle of the bathroom facing the mirror. I dropped in the chair and sighed.

"Alright Shorty do your worst."

"I assume you seen your closet?" She asked with a tone oozing with smugness.

"Yes, what did you do buy a whole store? You know I don't care about clothes…"

"Well Jacob, I told you your attire would change if you kept hanging around…The clothes in that duffel bag will be confiscated and destroyed by the way." She stated while cutting my hair. I exhaled noisily because I knew there was no use in fighting her.

"Fine." I mumbled. "When the hell did you have time to buy all that shit anyways I've only been gone for what, three hours?"

"You have been killing me Jacob! Literally killing me with your wardrobe, every time we take shopping trips it seems you and Nessie are the ones I end up buying the most clothes for…I accumulated quite a bit in the process. I've been waiting for the moment when I could force them on you." She laughed. I groaned all this stuff wasn't helping this is just more stuff I had to pay back…Just then Jasper appeared in the doorway and leaned against the frame.

"Hello darling how's it going up here?"

"Fine." She replied with a grin. "So who won the bet?" a dark expression passed over Jasper's face. Pixie giggled probably already knowing the outcome.

"You know for having a wife with a gift to see the future, you would think I would have an advantage on these bets." He grumbled.

"But that would be cheating." She replied stifling a laugh. "All done Jake." I looked in the mirror and grinned.

"Thanks pixie." I looked at her grinning like a moron.

"Sure anytime, now go get me that bag so I can burn those damn cut offs and sweats I know you brought." I rolled my eyes and walked towards the door. "Just give them to Jasper, I need to clean up in here." I nodded and walked past Jasper in the doorway. He cleared his throat and began to talk.

"You know Jacob there's no need to feel guilty."

"Wha? How'd you know?" then it hit me he could feel my emotions. "Oh right. Well I can't help it. Material things have never meant much to me, but the stuff I did get I've had to work for. To just be handed all this stuff is a little overwhelming." I finished not knowing why I'd just spilled all that.

"Well Jake all I can say is you'll get used to it just think of this as a jump start so you can give Nessie a good life if and when the time comes, even though that's not why we do it." I thought for a minute and felt a little better. And I had already promised myself that I would pay them back. That would have to do for now. At this point I was taking out my photo album and handing over my duffel bag.

"Well here you go. Don't be too hard on them." I joked "And uh thanks."

"No problem. I'm always here to talk." He said nodding, and then he turned around and left. I went to my massive closet and decided to see if I could find some shorts to sleep in. I took my clothes off threw them in the hamper and slipped on some basketball shorts I had managed to find. I found my way out and slid into my new bed and stared out the window, about five minutes later I felt the sleep overcome me.

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It was seven in the morning and I was lying in my bed with my hands behind my head thinking. The school year was finally coming to a close. I was finally about to become a high school graduate. Whoa never thought I'd see the day. I was graduating with honors and I couldn't believe it. I think it had a lot to do with the Cullen's and Nessie, knowing that I had to make them proud. Nessie also helped by making a study time for her and I to do homework together since she was being home-schooled by the Cullen's. In The past school year a few things had happened. Nessie looked about ten or eleven now, and was becoming more amazing by the day. She was currently learning the guitar, song writing, drawing, and ballet. She was perfect at all of them, but I may have been a little biased. Things had eased up a lot with my guilt knowing that they only wanted to help so I let them. I vowed to pay them back somehow, which in turn they told me that my repayment would be to do the best I could, that I could do but it wasn't enough. Billy was currently dating a nice lady who just moved to the reservation from one up north named Justine, she was very nice and i liked her a lot... especially for Billy. That was great because now I didn't feel so guilty that I had just left him. Sam and Emily got married with a nice ceremony on the beach, and now she was having a baby. I had convinced the guys in my pack to go back to school as well, Quil and Embry would be graduating next year and Seth the year after that. Leah was pissed at the world again, when her mom put her foot down and told her that she loved Charlie and planned to move in with him after Seth graduated. That argument resulted in Leah moving all the way to fucking Wyoming to go to school. Damn she was Selfish. I'd gotten extremely close to the Cullen's (even Blondie but I didn't show that.) and things were running smoothly.

My alarm clock started pouring out some classical song from a CD Nessie had made me letting me know it was time to start getting ready for my big day. I got up and looked around I could smell the faint scent of a vampire. Something by my desk caught my eye. I walked over surprised to find my outfit for the day laid out neatly over the chair. Pixie, who else? I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom for my morning routine. Shower, Brush teeth, and deodorant. I guess today I could also attempt to do something to my hair I usually just dried it off and went. After five minutes of me horsing around with my hair, I gave up. I went back to my room and started getting dressed. I pulled on the black slacks and buttoned up the light blue shirt and last and certainly least the stupid dress shoes. I hated those things they were the bane of my existence! Couldn't I just wear some nice sneakers? Nah…Alice would kill me. I grabbed my cap and gown from the hook on the back of the door and headed down stairs. I could smell Nessie and my heart started to beat a little faster. As soon as I rounded the corner into the kitchen I was engulfed by two little arms around my waist.

"Hiya Jake!" Nessie said into my stomach.

"Hey Kiddo." I bent down so I could bury my face into her sweet hair and take in her wonderful scent.

"Are you excited?" She asked letting me go. I felt cold without her.

"I guess so Nessie." I laughed. I picked her up and set her on the stool and looked at her. She had her hair in loose curls down her back, a pink and white floral baby doll dress on, and white sandals. She was the most beautiful little girl ever. I set down my cap and gown and sat down on the stool next to her. I picked up my fork to eat the food that was already on the counter.

"Momma and daddy said I could ride with you if I wanted." She said through a mouthful of Egg. I laughed cause I was sure she had gotten her bad eating habits from the pack and I.

"Sure, sure." I grinned. She looked deep in thought for a few minutes.

"What's on your mind little one?" I asked concerned.

"Huh? Oh nothing…" She said hesitantly.

"Come on Nessie you can tell me. I thought I was your best friend." I said jutting my lower lip out and frowning jokingly. She rolled her eyes and let out a dramatic sigh.

"Well I was debating on whether to give you my present now or later."

"What? Nessie you didn't have to get me anything." I replied back honestly.

"Momma and Daddy say this is a very important event in your life. They said you'll only graduate from high school for the first time once. Don't try and brush this off like it's nothing Jacob" she responded sternly. I gave up easily, I was kind of curious to what it was.

"Fine can I have it now?" I asked. She thought for a second and jumped down from the stool.

"Sure, sure, I'll be right back." She said bouncing from the kitchen she came back a few minutes later with a small box wrapped in gold wrapping paper. "Here you go." She said shyly handing me the box. I took it from her delicate hands and began unwrapping it slowly. Inside was the greatest present I had ever gotten. It was a dark green, tan, and brown bracelet with small letter beads that said _I love my Jacob_. I just gawked at it not knowing what to say.

"Well? Do you like it?"Nessie asked quietly. I looked up at her and she was staring at her feet making shapes on the floor with them.

"Nessie, I…I…"

"You hate it don't you?" she interrupted in a small voice. I jumped up from my stool and had her in massive hug in seconds.

"Why would you think that? This is the best present anyone has ever given me." I whispered into her hair.

"Really? You don't have to lie to make me feel better." She said muffled by her face in my neck. I set her back on her feet and knelt to look into her beautiful chocolate eyes.

"Listen to me Renesmee Carlie Cullen; I would never lie to you. I love it and I'll only take it off to phase so I don't break it." At this a wide smile broke across her face.

"Well this one goes on your ankle so you can wear it always." She stated

"Well there we have it…it will never come off…Ever." She took it out of the box and got down on her knees lifting up my pant leg. She tied it around my ankle and looked at it proudly. She stood up and tangled her small arms around my neck.

"I love you Jacob Black." She breathed.

"I love you too Renesmee Cullen." I whispered back.

"Did you make this by yourself?" I questioned. I felt her nod her head into my neck. Just then Bella came into the room.

"Hey guys it's about time you ready?" She asked.

"Sure, sure." I said putting Nessie down, I grabbed my cap and gown from the counter and took Nessies small hand, she led me to the garage. Doc, Esme, Bella and Edward were waiting by Doc's Mercedes and Emmett, Blondie, Jasper and Alice were by Emmett's Jeep. I started walking out of the garage towards my rabbit but Nessie wasn't moving. I looked at her questioningly.

"Did you change your mind? Did you want to ride with your parents after all?" I asked wanting her answer to be no. She had a smug grin on her face and shook her head 'no'.

"Well than come on Nessie we've got to go. I wouldn't want to be late after all I only graduate from high school for the first time once." I said mocking her. She narrowed her eyes at me so I looked up at Bella and Edward looking for a little help. But they all just had smiles on. Except Blondie who was absently playing with a strand of hair, avoiding looking at me. _What the hell is going on? _ I asked Edward in my thoughts.

"Well Jacob we thought you'd like to go to your big day in style." He said which confused the hell out of me.

"Okay?" he tossed me a set of keys. I looked at the emblem which said Porsche. Hm I wouldn't mind driving Pixies Turbo it will be nice to pull up in a nice car. Nobody moved. What did they want to make sure I could get in it okay? I pressed the button, but instead of the chirp coming from the yellow Porsche two cars away it came from under a dust rag at the end of the row. I looked perplexed at the Cullen's.

"Take a look Jacob." Carlisle spoke answering my look. Now I was really confused. I let go of Nessies hand and walked over to the mysterious car. I grabbed the corner of the sheet and pulled to reveal a car definitely on my top three: a Porsche Boxster-Spyder. Fuck this car is hot.

"It's yours Jacob." I heard Carlisle say. My head shot up and my eyes almost bulged out of my head. What did he just say? Edward laughed.

"He said it's yours." I was about to cut him off and tell him I couldn't accept it when he shot back. "Don't even think about rejecting it because I can see where your thoughts are going. Now get in and drive to the school, we'll meet you there." Just like that they all got into their cars and started backing out of the driveway. I stood there for a few minutes still trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened. Nessie just stood there and looked at me with an amused look. I was snapped out of my episode by my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the caller id…Bella. I pressed the answer button and put it up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Jake will you get in the damn car and come on. You're going to make yourself late."

"How…" I started.

"Jake, Carlisle is going like two miles per hour waiting for you to catch up. Seeing as it's been seven minutes I took a guess that you were marveling at that damn car…now hurry up!" she yelled and then hung up, but not before I heard her mumble "men and their stupid ass cars." I laughed and turned my attention to Nessie who was now leaned against my brand new black Porsche with her arms and ankles crossed and a grin that said 'you're such a fool' plastered across her face. I grinned sheepishly and opened her door.

"Madame." I said bowing. She laughed at my foolishness. I handed her my cap and gown and buckled her seat belt. As I walked around my new beauty I slid my hand across the sleek hood and shivered. I got in started the engine and heard it purr. I looked at Nessie and she nodded her head eagerly. I shot out of the garage and flew down the streets catching up with the rest of them in no time. When I pulled into the parking lot I could see people ogling my car, I would be too. I smoothly parked in a spot between my two family cars and got out still grinning like an idiot.

"Uh thanks for the car." I said awkwardly still grinning. Man that sounded ridiculous.

"Of course Jacob we are so proud of you." Esme answered back, giving me a hug which I gladly accepted. Charlie, Sue, Rachel, Paul, Quil, Seth, Embry and Billy walked over to me their eyes on nowhere but my car. We all greeted each other and then Embry started what I guess I couldn't avoid. My car.

"What the fuck is that!" Embry blurted out. All of us shot him death looks. Nessie picked up on enough of our habits she didn't need to pick up that one too. "I…I mean who's is that?" he asked stunned.

"Mine. The uh Cullen's got it for my graduation." I said a little hesitantly.

"What the Hell I want to be a Cullen!" this time it was Quil cussing.

"Will you knock it off with the language." I said through my teeth.

"Yeah, Yeah but who gets a dam..ng Porsche for their high school graduation?" Embry replied doing a bad job at covering his slip up.

"Will you just shut up and come on." I said walking towards the school.I put my cap and gown on when I left my family and friends to go join my peers to walk in to the auditorium. We sat and listened to speech after speech word after boring word. Then it was time to give out the diplomas and since my name started with a B I was one of the first to go up and receive my diploma. I stood there proudly with my head held high, while all my friends and family clapped and cheered for me. I looked out and seen Nessie on top of Emmett's shoulder clapping enthusiastically, it made me extremely happy that she was so proud of me. After the ceremony was over everyone was meeting over at the Cullen's for a celebratory cookout for me. I was a little apprehensive about my two families being together for so long, but as soon as the party started it was fine. We all got along great. Even Sam and his pack came and there was not one bit of drama. I never thought that we would all get along…I never thought I would see this day. But i was glad i did.

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**A/N: So? here it comes first chapter from Nessies POV finally i know right. Well review they motivate me and make me happy :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**it's all SM**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating i got a bit busy. But here it is as promised. Hope you like it enjoy! AND THANK you for the reviews and favs. they mean more to me than you know! **

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**Nessies POV**

In a week we would all be packing up heading south to Oregon. Sam agreed to patrol while Jake was away as long as he would come back and take over the pack when Sam needed to stop phasing to age with Emily. Emily and Sam now had three beautiful kids and are happier than ever. Colin, Brady and the rest of Sam's pack are all going to colleges nearby, and Jared and Kim are moving in together. Paul and Rachel had gotten married two years ago, I was a bride's maid and that made me extremely happy that she considered me family. Now Rachel was having a baby and things were great for them. Embry graduated three years ago and decided to go to Oregon state university he's going to be a junior this fall and is majoring in engineering. Seth also goes to Oregon State and is starting as a sophomore this fall with an undecided major. They told Jake the reason why they are going to school in Oregon is to be closer to Jake and I when we eventually moved. That made me over the moon because the pack boys are just as much my family as Mom and Dad are. Quil of course was going to a college nearby to be close to Claire who was the sweetest little girl ever. No one heard from Leah much but from the sounds of it she was doing great, she graduated moved to Chicago and now is co-owner of a restaurant there with her boy friend of two years, Liam. Jake said she still phased from time to time just to stop from aging. Grandpa Charlie and Sue had gotten married earlier this summer in a small ceremony only Mom, dad, Jake, Seth and I went. I guess Leah was still pissed off about that. Lastly Billy…Billy was living with his lady friend Justine and I couldn't be happier for them. She was sweet and good to Billy and they both deserved happiness.

My birthday was right around the corner and I was turning six. I had changed a lot in six years, I mean its normal for kids to age…but not one thing about me is normal. I had only been on the earth for six years and I looked and thought like a sixteen year old. When I was younger I had my dad's bronze curls but as I grew my hair started to darken so now it's brown with a reddish tint. I'm 5'3" lean, and clumsy, which I all inherited from my mom. I also got my eyes from her and my curls from her and my grandpa. The rest of me was my dad. One thing I got from both of my parents is my stubbornness. My sight, hearing, and sense of smell aren't nearly as good as my vampire or pack family, but they're better than the average human. And my skin has more give than my vampire family but I heal just as fast as my wolves. I found this out on my many occurrences with my face and the ground, or my hands and legs with the cement. I'm a tomboy I guess, but I love to shop with Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose too. But I can hang out with the boys too…which is what I normally do. If I'm not playing video games with Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper, I'm down in La push horsing around with Jake and the pack. Jake is my best friend and my favorite person in the world. I've always felt strangely connected to him. There wasn't really anytime I can remember where he hasn't been there. And boy was I thankful for that I feel oddly anxious when he's away at work or patrolling at night. I could be lying in bed trying my hardest to fall asleep and the moment Jake walks in the house I'll drift off. I guess I feel protective over him he is my best friend and all.

It was a cool night and Jake and I were at our good-bye bon fire and pretty much everyone was here. I was playing catch in the moon light with Jake, Embry, Seth and Quil.

"So did you hear…? Derrick imprinted a few days ago." Embry said tossing the ball to Jake, Derrick was one of Sam's pack members. Jake shot him a fierce look and pelted the ball straight at his stomach. Embry took a quick intake of breath, and doubled over. I knew the hit had knocked the wind out of him. I don't know why this topic always makes Jake so pissed off. I wonder if it's because he hasn't imprinted yet. I'll have to ask him on the way home. I knew what an imprint was and honestly it terrified me that Jake would imprint someday and leave me all by myself. I wasn't prepared to lose my best friend. Embry was still hunched over for a few more seconds trying to get his breathing under control.

"Are you okay Em?" I questioned shooting a malicious look towards Jake. Embry nodded his head and I turned back to Jake. "You're such a jackass!"

"What, I just threw him the ball." He feigned innocently, he started laughing uncontrollably at the absurdity of what he just said. I rolled my eyes and looked back to Embry who was still hunched over.

"Come on you pussy get up and throw the damn ball." Quil chortled. Embry finally stood up straight and ran over to tackle Jake. I sighed as they rolled around wrestling on the ground with Quil and Seth egging them on. I decided to see what everyone else was doing. I ventured over to Rachel who is very pregnant sitting on a log around the fire. Paul was beside her having a very animated conversation with Jared. Rachel had her head on Paul's shoulder, one hand was intertwined with Paul's the other was resting on her rounded stomach. A twinge of Jealousy hit me. Would I ever be able to have a normal relationship? Then I realized that their relationship wasn't normal per say…but they were happy. That was all I wanted. Would I get that?

"Hey Rach." I said flopping down beside her on the sand. She lifted her head up and looked at me with the same eyes Jacob has; brown, beautiful and deep like they go on forever.

"Hey Ness, where's Jake?"

"I just left him rolling around on the ground with Embry." I said with a laugh.

"Boys." She sighed. "I really hope this little one is a girl, I have enough boys to handle with all the wolf boys, because there is no way Emily and Kim could handle these beasts on their own." she said rubbing her stomach with adoring eyes.

"Couldn't you have found out by now?"

"Yeah, but Paul and I wanted it to be a surprise." She grinned. "Look Paul and I wanted to talk to you and Jake about something." She said quietly.

"I could go find him." I said getting up, but she put her hand on my arm and tugged me down gently.

"No, no, I'm sure he'll be coming to find you anytime now. We'll make a plan for you and Jake to stop by our house before you guys leave." I shrugged; leaned back on my palms closed my eyes and let the breeze blow my curls. Man I was going to miss the salty sea air and bon fires with my extended family. There is so much more I'm going to miss, I guess this is the first time things were really hitting me. The tears started to prick in the back of my eyes. I swallowed so I could keep the lump down. I was leaving my home, the only place I've ever known. Not only was I starting in a new random place but I was starting high school for the first time too.

I don't know how long I was sitting there before I could feel drops of water splashing all over my face. Was it raining? Alice said it wasn't going to and this was the perfect night. The wind shifted and I could smell Jake, not near but like he was right over me. I blinked the water that had hit me in the eyes out and looked up to see a soaking wet Jake grinning over me.

"Hey there princess, what's up?" he said with my favorite Jacob smile on. I got up off the ground and I couldn't help but smile back his smile was so damn contagious. We walked away from everyone in silence to the shore.

"What did you guys do? Go for a late night romantic swim together?" I teased once we reached the shoreline. He narrowed his eyes at me with a mischievous grin.

"You know I only have one girl I'm after." He said jokingly. He opened his arms and looked at me expectantly.

"I hope you're not talking about me because I like my men dry." I shot back. He took one small menacing step towards me. "Jacob Black don't you dare touch me! I'm wearing my favorite hoodie!" but my warning meant nothing to him he enveloped me in a tight hug and rubbed his wet face and hair all over my face and neck. I started laughing hysterically and so did he.

"Jake…please stop!" I begged him through my laughter. We somehow got tangled and tumbled to the ground causing us to laugh even harder. I rolled onto my back laughing still, after a few minutes we both managed to calm down. I propped myself on my elbows and looked at Jake, he had his hands behind his head, and his eyes were closed with a small smile on playing at the corners of his lips. He looked so peaceful and in thought so I just kept staring at him in the soft moonlight. My eyes started roaming his body and I never realized how beautiful he was. His white t shirt was clinging to his glorious upper half showing everything shamelessly...His perfectly sculpted abs, his bulging biceps, his flawless toned shoulders, and his smooth pecks. My eyes trailed down to his lower half and instantly my cheeks grew hot and flushed. His legs were just as amazing, I could just make them out through his khaki shorts his strong muscular thighs and then his powerful defined claves. My eyes wondered back to his face and took in his wonderful features; his soft full lips, his faultless nose and his stunning eyes. I never noticed how much Jake looked like a Greek god, how could I not he's perfect! Just then his eyes fluttered open he rolled over leaning on his elbow his face just inches from mine. I could feel his sweet breath lightly caressing my skin, and his dark brown eyes stared into mine with so much emotion I thought my heartbeat skipped a beat. He smiled.

"Why have you been staring at me for the past few minutes? I could feel you looking at me." He said.

"I uh, uh…" I stuttered. "I uh was just looking at you is that such a crime?" he laughed, shrugged and popped up to his feet. I couldn't help but notice how each of his muscles constricted and moved as he stretched. What the hell is wrong with me? He reached out his hand to help me up.

"You ready to say goodbye to everyone, it's getting pretty late." I nodded and took his hand. He pulled me up and we walked back to everyone. The crowd started to thin as we said our tearful goodbyes and made promises to visit as often as we could. As the night finally came to a close it was just Jake and I left on the beach. We were both standing looking out at the ocean.

"Man I'm really gonna miss this place." Jake sighed playing with some sand under his feet. I scooted in closer to him and put my arm around his waist. He pulled me into a hug and buried his face in my curls. I sighed in contentment.

"As long as I have you, I'll be just fine." I whispered into his chest.

"Me too Ness, me too." He breathed into my hair. He let go of me and took my hand.

"We'd better get going your parents are probably wondering where you are." He said pulling me towards the forest. "Do you wanna walk, race or ride back?"

"Walk, I wanna take in all we can, seeing as we won't be able to come back whenever we want." I replied. But I also had a few questions for him.

"Good idea." We walked quietly for a little while until I broke the silence.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure Ness, anything."

"Why do you get so mad when people bring up imprinting?" I asked quietly. He lost his footing for a second but still managed to keep my hand without tripping me up.

"Uh I do?" he questioned. I exhaled loudly, so this was how it was going to be…

"Jacob Eupherium Black, we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way." It was quiet for a few minutes. And once again I broke the silence.

"Is it because you haven't yet and you're sad you'll never find her…your soul mate I mean?" He let go of my hand and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. The last thing I wanted him to do was let go of my hand because I was all of a sudden anxious. Like his hand was a shield to the consequences of this conversation. To be honest I didn't want to talk about this…but I had to know if I would lose him soon.

"Look Ness…I can't talk about this right now." He said gaining distance in front of me.

"Why not Jake? I just want to know when I'm going to, well when I'm going to lose you." I replied quietly. He stopped abruptly and spun around on the spot causing me to stop. His face surprised the hell out of me. It was filled with fear, sympathy and apprehension. He threw his hands on his face and rubbed it for a second.

"If I promise to tell you later will you drop this?" he mumbled through his hands.

"I don't see why you just can't tell me now? Please Jake I need to know." I said softly. He shook his head and dragged his hands down his face into fists. He dropped his hands to his sides and started pacing. I don't see why this is such a big deal, why can't he just tell me we're supposed to be best friends and best friends tell each other everything.

"Nessie, I can't tell you…not right now." He said low and intensely. I was getting frustrated and now my stubbornness was about to get the best of me.

"Jacob! Just spit it the fuck out! I have to know when I'm going to lose my best friend I'm terrified and it's eating me alive!" I spat at him. He stopped in his tracks and looked at me.

"Even if I was going to imprint, I wouldn't know when… it just fucking happens!" he yelled back.

"So then why can't you just fucking answer me and tell me why you get so damn pissed when people bring it up?" I screamed. He tangled his hands in his hair like a crazy person then dropped them defeated. He looked at me.

"Because I'm afraid." He whispered. That took me by surprise I looked into his eyes and could tell he was telling the truth. I took a few steps closer to him, and stopped a few feet away.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Because Nessie! When a wolf imprints it takes away their free will, and what if the imprintee doesn't want them! Then the wolf will have no choice but to sit by and watch their imprint choose someone else! I can't handle that!" He roared. I thought I heard him say 'not again' but I wasn't sure. I felt terrible. I didn't ever want Jake to feel that kind of hurt I wish he would imprint on me, I could and would love him! I thought for a few minutes.

"So what if the imprintee does choose someone else…would the imprinter be able to date and marry someone else?"

"What?" He asked shocked. "I mean it's never happened before but they wouldn't love the person they married. Their imprint is their one and only." I nodded. Maybe if that did happen to Jake I could help him, I realized I loved him enough to sacrifice my happiness. Even if it only helped him a tiny bit I would do what it takes. I loved him too much to see him hurting, and I would do everything humanly and inhumanly possible to help him.

"I'm sorry I pushed you into telling me that." I whispered looking at my feet. In one stride he closed the gap between us and pulled me into a hug. I instantly felt better and knew I was right in what I was doing. Jacob was to amazing of a person to be unhappy…Then it hit me like a punch in the stomach. What if he does imprint and she does choose him? Would he sacrifice his and her happiness for mine? I would never ask him to. I would just have to be miserable. Why was I thinking like this? That would be what I wanted right? For Jake and his imprint to fall in love…so I could do the same. A small tear escaped from my eye. Jake pulled away.

"Ness it's okay really! Don't cry." He said anxiously scanning my face.

"It's not that." I choked out because at this point I was sobbing.

"Then what's wrong Renesmee?" He said about to go into a full on panic attack.

"I… I can't lose you Jacob. Didn't you hear me? I'm terrified I'm going to lose you! You're…you're my best friend." I said through my tears. He crushed me back to his chest.

"Nessie, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon I promise." He said into my hair.

"You can't promise that! What if you imprint tomorrow, or when we move?" Now the wheels in my head we're really turning.

"I won't…I promise."

"This is beyond your control!" I wailed

"Yes it is Ness but I swear to you everything will be okay. You'll have your best friend forever." His words had so much assurance that I couldn't help but believe them. I nodded into his chest and sat there in his arms until I stopped crying. He let me go and took my hand and started walking towards home again. The rest of the walk was quiet as we we're both lost in our thoughts. When we got the door stoop he stopped and pulled me into a hug and kissed my head.

"What was that for?" I asked with a smile.

"Cause I love you Ness… you're my best friend too you know." I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist for another hug, pulled away went inside feeling a lot better than before. Dad and uncle Jasper we're playing chess on the coffee table. Mom's feet were across dads lap and she of course was rereading one of her favorite books. Aunt Rose, Aunt Alice, and grandma were sitting at the dining room table looking at decorations for the new house, and Uncle Emmett was playing a game on the Xbox 360.

"Hi baby, hey Jake, how was the party?" Mom asked as we walked in.

"It was hard saying good-bye." I replied, Jake nodded in agreement as I rounded my family with kisses.

"I know it was, but you'll be back to visit often." She replied.

"I know that's what made it easier, where's grandpa?" I asked.

"Oh he's just finishing up some things up at the hospital, before the move." Grandma answered sweetly. When I got to my dad he had a mask on, I could tell something was bothering him. I had too much on my mind right now to ask, he would talk to someone else anyways. I started quoting some of my favorite movies in my head. I didn't want him know what I had thought about during Jake and I's conversation because he wouldn't approve.

"Hi daddy." I said kissing his cheek. He looked at me and lifted his eyebrows no doubt suspicious about what I was hiding. "Well I'm going to bed." I announced. I looked towards Jake who was now playing video games with Uncle Emmett.

"Goodnight Jake." He looked up from the screen.

"Do you want me to walk you up?" yes.

"No that's okay I'm tired." He stood up hugged me and kissed me on the forehead my heart skipped a beat.

"Goodnight sleep well, see you in the morning."

"Mhm you too." With that I walked out of the living room and upstairs. I changed out of my jeans and favorite hoodie Jake got me when we went to a Seahawks game into my favorite pajamas; a t shirt I stole from Jake and some shorts. I dove into my bed and nuzzled into my pillow. I must have been tired because I fell asleep.

_It was one of those rare sunny days in forks and Jacob and I were on the beach. We were holding hands but not in the way that we normally do our fingers were intertwined making my heart beat erratically. I looked up into his beautiful dark eyes and asked him to kiss me… he leaned in to touch his soft luscious lips to mine. My heart sped up…I reached my hands up to tangle them into his beautiful soft hair and just as I was about to crush my lips to his…_

I fell out of my bed. What the hell was that? I've never ever thought of kissing _Jacob…_ he was like an older brother to me, he was my best friend, I felt completely myself with him. I mean last night when I told myself I would marry him and date him it was because I wanted him to be happy. I mean sure maybe when I was little I had a crush on him but as I got older and realized he would never love me that way I suppressed that feeling. I thought I had pushed it far down, too far for me to ever access again… but apparently not. The weird thing was when it resurfaced just now, I'm pretty sure it was the most powerful emotion I've ever felt. There was a knock at the door.

"Nessie darling? Are you alright I heard a big thump." Grandma inquired.

"Uh yeah grandma I just fell off my bed." I untangled myself from my comforter and went to the door to open it. My grandma stood in the doorway with what Jake calls her 'trademark smile'. I leaned in and pecked her on the cheek.

"Morning grandma." I said stifling a yawn.

"Good morning sweet heart, breakfast is ready when you are." She replied rubbing my cheek with her cool hand and walking down the hall. I softly closed the door, walked back to my bed and flopped on it lazily. I sat up when I heard my phone vibrate. I flipped it opened to a text from Jake. My heart started pounding and felt like it was going to burst through my chest. What the fuck was going on with me? This is Jake…nothing's changed. Man that dream really screwed me up. I pressed the read button.

_Ness…wht the hell was tht noise? Did you trip over urself again? Xp LOL!_

I replied as fast as I could. _ No u moron. I fell off the bed! & y r u txting me? Just come 2 my rm._

About ten seconds later there was a knock at my door. I tossed my phone down, jumped out of bed and looked in the mirror, I was a mess. My hair was all over my head and there was no hope in fixing it with Jake at my door so I took hair tie from around my wrist and pulled my hair up into a messy bun.

"Ness what the hell are you doing? Getting ready for a beauty pageant?" he whined from the other side of the door. I gave myself one more look…and wondered why the hell I was so worried about looks. This is Jacob for crying out loud! I walked to the door and flung it open.

"Ha ha… you're so funny Jacob black." I said sarcastically. I went to my desk and pulled out one of my sketch pads so I could scribble a bit. I went back to my bed, laid on my stomach with my feet in the air and started doodling.

"Thanks." He grinned back. "So how did you fall off your bed this morning?" he asked. He came over and laid in front of me at the foot of the bed with his legs hanging over the edge and his arms behind his head. I tried not to pay attention to his huge biceps and the way his shirt clung to his body but I couldn't help myself from looking at him.

"So?" he asked amused

"So what?"

"So are you gonna tell me how you fell off your bed this morning?"

"Oh uh that. You know me…" I laughed nervously. What was I supposed to say…? 'Oh well I was having a dream about kissing you and right before I could maul you I fell off the bed?' Ha I think not.

"Ness? What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked looking at me, like he was looking into the deepest part of my soul. I stared back into his pools of brown for a few seconds before answering.

"What?" I asked dazed.

"I just asked you when the last time you went hunting was. What's wrong with you today space cadet?" He asked waving his hands in front of my face. I don't know I can't take my damn mind off of you. I swatted at his hands and answered as best I could.

"Oh um last week, I think" I replied doodling in my book. I tried to focus on our conversation but my mind kept going back to that damn dream.

"Okay well, how's your throat?" I stopped for a second to see if there was that dull burning I get when I need blood.

"Its fine right now, but I could use some 'solid' food." I replied.

"Sure, sure." He said getting up and pulling my hand with him. I felt a jolt of electricity run through my entire being. I pulled away quickly, causing him to stare at me inquisitively.

"Uh I have to put my sketch book away." I lied. I mean I guess I did but that wasn't why I did that. He shrugged and continued walking towards downstairs.

"I'll meet you down there kiddo." He said. I got really annoyed and I didn't even know why. He always called me Kiddo. I picked up my sketch book to put it away and seen what I had drawn. I wasn't even paying attention and I drew JAKE! I dropped the book like it had the plague, backed into the nearest wall and slid down the wall. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my head in my arms. What the fuck was going on with me? Why can't I push these feelings back down like I used to? I took deep breaths to help clear my head then there was a knock on the door. I pulled myself together and walked to the door taking a deep breath trying to calm myself so who ever this was wouldn't know. I opened the door to reveal none other than my father. Shit! There goes my façade.

"Renesmee language."

"Sorry, dad what's up?" I asked already knowing the answer. His daughter is going insane and he just wanted to make sure he could torture her more by making her talk about her thoughts.

"Call it what you want, but yes I'm here to talk." He said walking by me and sitting in the rocking chair that used to be moms.

"What do you want me to say?" I said throwing myself on the bed dramatically. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and said something about how it was 'going to happen someday'

"I'd like to talk to you about your thoughts." He said calmly.

"Okay what about them? I know I'm crazy and mentally unstable…what else is there to say?" I turned buried my face in my pillow and let out a scream.

"Renesmee please, stop being such a drama queen." I guess I was being kind of a little melodramatic…

"A little?" daddy replied raising his eye brows. Okay a lot. I'm very theatrical. I heard him humph under his breath so I sat up and looked at him.

"So what about my thoughts?" I asked.

"Well I guess I can say they are normal…it's normal to develop crushes on boys who you have known for a long time." Crush? I think this is more than a crush I think I'm falling in love with him. I mean I should have known it after what happened last night. Why I couldn't take my eyes off of him, why I would risk my happiness for him, all of it. It clicked I was falling for Jacob Black. I heard a growl rumble in my dad's chest.

"How can you say that? One dream and you're ready to declare your love for the boy?" He spat. I could feel his anger building. Really? Now because I think I love him, Jake becomes this 'boy'?

"I don't know dad…something just hit me today like a semi. I've never felt this ever in my life. And as you know I haven't been able to keep my mind away from him for more than two minutes!" I bellowed angrier at myself than at my dad, for not being able to keep these feelings under wraps.

"Renesmee, don't do anything rash." He replied lowly through his teeth.

"Like what? Go tell the boy I love the truth, he's always honest with me! Don't you think he has a right to know?" I yelled back. My dad snorted

"Honest? You really think he's honest." My dad's eyes grew three sizes.

"What the hell do you mean?" I asked intensely. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sat there. "DAD! What the hell are you talking about?" I screamed.

"Watch how you talk to me I am still your father young lady." He scolded me.

"Fine then, father would you care to explain what your last statement referred too?" I said sarcastically sweet.

"I can't do this now."

"I am getting so sick of people telling me they can't tell me something now! Just spit it out!" I demanded.

"Renesmee, I need Jacob here to tell you also." He said back calmly.

"Fine go get him." I spat. It occurred to me that Jacob was right down stairs probably listening to this whole thing. Well at least he knows now how I feel, even thought I wasn't really going to tell him…Not yet anyways.

"He's not here." My dad stated answering my thoughts.

"What? Where is he?"

"When I seen the direction of your thoughts I sent everyone out of the house for privacy they are all currently getting boxes to pack and will be back in about ten minutes." I guess I felt more relief than I had known about Jake knowing because the minute my dad told me that, it felt like a twenty pound brick was put on my shoulders.

"Fine but the second he walks in this house I want to talk."

"alright." He replied brushing his hand through his hair. "Come downstairs when you're ready." He said getting up and walking out of my room.

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**A/N: Weellll what did you think let me know :) reviews make me happy and make me work harder.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Tis all SM.**

**A/N: New chapter update. Thank you so much for the reviews and story fav adds! that really does help me get going faster. :) i don't want to pressure you but i would like some more? well thanks for reading Enjoy!**

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**JPOV**

The family and I had picked up the boxes Edward randomly told us to get and we were walking through the door. Edward was sitting in one of the arm chairs hunched over pinching the bridge of his nose. Bella dropped all of her boxes by the door and quickly walked over to Edward and kneeled in front of him.

"Edward what's the matter?" She asked anxiously.

"I messed up." I heard him murmur. The rest of the family and I began to take boxes to the different rooms to pack up the things we wanted to bring to Oregon.

"What do you mean?" Bella questioned uneasily.

"Renesmee." Was the only word he said to hold me dead still in my spot.

"What about her?" Bella inquired again.

"We have to tell her about our past…all of it." I dropped the boxes and stood rooted. He looked at me. "We should talk outside for a moment." I nodded and walked outside a few feet into the woods where I was absolutely sure Nessie couldn't hear our conversation, even though being so far wasn't necessary. Bella and Edward were right behind me the whole way.

"Alright speak." I said through my teeth.

"Well Jacob you must understand Renesmee is my daughter, and I've only had her for six years and I can feel her inching away from me already." What is he trying to say? "It seems her feelings are changing." I nodded.

"How so?" I questioned anxiously.

"She can feel the imprint effects. She began noticing you differently at the bon-fire yesterday. And then she had a dream that now has her convinced she's in love with you." My heart let out an uneven thump and began to ache. Why weren't my feelings changing? Was our imprint situation different because she was only technically six? She didn't act six and she sure as hell didn't look six. Was I ready for this?

"Jacob, I wasn't happy this morning. Because the conversation you had last night she has already decided that if you get rejected by your imprint she will sacrifice her happiness in an attempt to make you feel less pain to try and help you." What? Was she really that amazing? Thank god she will never have too.

"Well we know that won't be a problem seeing as she is my imprint." I muttered.

"Well I wasn't ready for her to tell you her feelings because I know your feelings will be changing soon enough. It seems things may have backfired." He concluded.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked saying something for the first time in the conversation.

"She was getting angry at me and told me that Jacob deserved to know the truth because he is always honest with her…" He paused. "And I may have made a remark about Jacob not always being honest and she demanded to know what he's been dishonest about."

"You WHAT?" I roared. I wasn't ready to tell her everything, I already knew that. I came so close to yesterday but I knew I couldn't, it wasn't time. Now I was being forced into it because of Edward stupid mistake.

"Jake just take a deep breath and calm down." Bella said soothingly.

"No I will not fucking calm down." I seethed through my teeth.

"Jacob I'm sorry. It was an honest mistake I was angry."

"And now I have to pay for what the hell you just did!" I snapped back

"You don't know Renesmee could understand, and if you're not ready to tell her about your imprinting you don't have to just yet. I didn't tell her what you are being dishonest about, just that we needed to talk… all of us together." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Fine we won't, but when this comes back to bite me in the ass your taking some of the heat. I can't tell her yet, not now I have to give her a choice, and I won't know until she's around guys her age...as much as it kills me she has to have a choice." Edward and Bella nodded.

"Thank you for that Jacob. Would you like to go get Renesmee and meet us at the cottage?" I nodded and walked out of the forest. I looked up towards Nessies room and she was in the window looking out just like I knew she would be. I signaled for her to come down and inhaled through my nose. She appeared in the doorway with a blank expression on her face and walked past me. The walk was quite and filled with tension, neither one of us said a word. When we got to the cottage Edward was sitting in the arm chair and Bella was propped on the arm. Nessie walked over to the couch and I followed and sat on the opposite end.

"Let's get this over with. Spit it out." She sighed.

"Okay well honey, this is all about our past there were a few things we left out." Bella started.

"I know about your past. Don't beat around the bush, please just tell me I'm dying." She whispered.

"Well you know how I said your father left me and I went to Jake to keep me together?" Nessie nodded. I could see Edward cringe from the retelling. "Well in that time Jake kind of well…Fell in love with me." I looked anxiously at Nessie, her eyes were huge and she was paler than normal and her heart was beating quickly.

"Obviously nothing happened." She stated unsurely. Bella took an unnecessary breath and spoke softly.

"I realized I loved him too, but nothing compared to what I had with your father."

"Did anything happen?" She asked close to tears. I dropped my head into my hands.

"We kissed, that was it." She whispered. I could tell Nessie turned to me and I couldn't even look at her I just kept my head in my hands.

"You told me you'd never lie to me." She said her voice breaking.

"I know Nessie I'm sorry, I was going to tell you but I didn't want to hurt you." I mumbled softly into my hands.

"So this is why you stick around for my mother?" She asked in an acidic tone. I looked up into her chocolate eyes and I almost broke down from all the hurt I could see.

"No, Ness! I've always been around for you! It's always been you."

"Yeah so I'm the rejection prize? You couldn't get Isabella Swan, so you settle for her second rate daughter Renesmee Cullen? Is that how it is Jacob?" At this point she was on her feet flailing her arms around.

"No Nessie not at all…I…I never wanted you to jump to this conclusion. It not like that at all. I love you more than I ever loved your mom. The moment you were born the connection I had to Bella left me it was you." I replied pathetically, dancing around the fact that she was my imprint.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Can't you see Ness? I…I…" I stopped. _Should I tell her? _I thought to Edward. All he did was shrug his shoulders. _Great thanks a heap. _

"Jacob Black! Finish your damn sentence!" she screamed

"I…I just said it Ness! I love you more than I ever loved your mom! You and I… we're closer and we have a better bond. Please forgive me for not telling you, I'm sorry!" I pleaded. She huffed and dropped on the couch.

"So what are we supposed to do? Pretend this never happened?" She grumbled. Was it really going to be this easy? I saw Edward shake his head no. I sighed and scooted closer.

"Look Ness, I'm really sorry."

"I don't even know why you're apologizing! I wasn't even born when you swapped spit with my mother!" she snapped.

"I'm apologizing for not telling you sooner, for any hurt I've caused you…for everything."

"Do you think that would have made it any better? I mean maybe you could have told me before I…" she stopped abruptly.

"Before you what?" I questioned aching to reach out and take her in my arms and make it better like usual. She stood up and looked directly at me in my eyes.

"BEFORE I STARTED FALLING FOR YOU! MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE IF I WOULD HAVE KNOWN!" she screamed and bolted from the house full speed. Edward and Bella got up and ran after her. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I couldn't catch my breath and everything was spinning. I got up from the couch, stumbled outside and staggered over to a tree to throw up everything I had in my stomach which thankfully wasn't much. Next thing I know everything went black. When I woke up I was in my bed and it was pitch dark. Damn how long have I been out? Better yet how the fuck did I get in my bed? I sat up and looked at the clock that displayed 7:57pm. I'd been out the whole day…Then I started having flash backs of this morning and I instantly felt dizzy again. Did they find Nessie? Where is she? How is she doing? A cough from my door scared the shit out of me. I looked over to see Edward leaned against the door frame.

"Renesmee has currently taken post in her room and she has informed us she's not coming out."

"Well what happened?" I choked out with my hoarse voice.

"Well, we chased her for three minutes until we found her sitting on a rock with her head in her hands. Her thoughts were going haywire. Her biggest thing is she feels stupid for telling you she's falling in love with you, it hurt her pride. She feels like she's competing for third now… first being your imprint, second Bella and now her. I know she is angry we waited so long to tell her, and another dominate thought is she doesn't plan on having any contact with you, Bella or myself, for awhile." He sighed. "Her plan did seem to falter when jasper and Emmett dragged you into the house. She's very worried about you." I nodded.

"What should I do?" I asked imploringly. He took a deep breath.

"Give her time and space. She's going to miss her best friend and her parents soon enough." I laid back in my bed, how long could I really go without talking to her? I felt like I was gonna puke again. This was not going to go well.

"Oh and Jacob, thank you for giving her a choice it means more than you know."

"I would have rather done this the right way with her. Meet her and have to charm her into falling in love with me, knowing she loved me for me, and not because of some claim I have over her. She deserves to be able to choose. I won't tell her until we know she's sure she doesn't want some other guy." Even though it killed me to say it I knew she could do much better than me.

"Jacob you are good enough for her. In any case, Esme has some food down stairs for you if you'd like. Everyone is going hunting, but Renesmee."

"Alright, and Thanks I'll uh be down in a few. Let me pull myself together." He nodded once and turned around and left. I laid in my bed thinking about what the hell was going on. Maybe I should ask Nessie if she still wants me to go with the family. I was going to Oregon either way. I worked way too hard and got into a school that only accepts 3.8's and higher, there is no way I'm giving up college. I mean I only saved up a little over 20,000 but Pacific Oregon University is expensive. I'm sure I could get financial aid to help out and I could live on campus, that's all workable but I don't want to do it that way. I want to stay with the Cullens and Nessie they helped me so much during high school and god knows I'm going to need their help in college. I wonder if Doc and Esme would still help me out if Nessie wasn't involved with my future. Just thinking that Nessie might never forgive me and I wouldn't have her in my future made me sick to my stomach again and I felt like I had to throw up. I flew out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom. After 10 minutes of dry heaving I decide to take a shower. I stripped down and let the hot water wash over me and release some of the tension in my body. About an hour later I got out of the shower feeling a little better. I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around my waist and opened the door to go back to my room. I took one step out of the door when something ran into my bare chest. I looked down to see a red face Nessie. I could hear both our heart beats speed up.

"Oh uh sorry." I said staring at my feet, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I looked up and our eyes met and in that one second I felt like nothing mattered, as long as I could see those eyes every day, I would follow her where ever and fight for her to forgive me, harder than ever. She dropped her eyes but I couldn't take mine off her.

"Jacob." She muttered and walked around me. I watched her walk down the stairs, before going to change into a white t-shirt and some sweats. I went down stairs to the kitchen, grabbed my plate of steak, potatoes and veggies and sat down at the bar next to Nessie. This was going to be the hardest time of my life. I hope she's not as stubborn as Bella.

"Look Nessie I'm sorry." I mumbled between bites.

"Save it Jacob. I don't wanna hear it…you lied to me." She spat.

"Technically I never lied to you I just didn't tell you the entire story…but would you really have been able to understand at a younger age you're barley handling it now."

"How the fuck am I supposed to handle this?" she scoffed. I shrugged trying to seem as if I was okay…but really this was killing me.

"I dunno forgive and forget?" I replied casually.

"Well I guess I'm not you." She said getting up from her stool and tossing her plate into the sink. "I have nothing more to say to you." With that she turned on her heels and stormed out of the kitchen. I could hear her stomping up the stairs and slamming her door. I just sat there for ten minutes and pushed my food around on my plate because I knew I couldn't eat anymore. I got up washed mine and Nessie's dishes and climb the stairs to my room. After about three hours my brain eventually tired itself out and I finally slipped into unconsciousness.

When I woke up the next morning I felt worse than ever, I tossed and turned all night and I knew it was because Nessie was pissed at me. I flipped the covers off of me, got out of bed and went to brush my teeth and pee. After that I dragged myself down the stairs for breakfast and ate by myself for the first time in years. This was how my morning was dragging on and I was literally dying inside, so I decided that I would get Nessie to talk to me. I walked up the stairs determined and banged on her door.

"Go away Jacob, I told you yesterday I have nothing to say to you." She replied to my knock.

"You can't avoid me forever Renesmee." I said leaning my head against the door. I heard a shift in wind and the door disappeared from in front of me, causing me to stumble into her room.

"What the hell do you want from me Jacob Black? I told you to fucking leave me alone!" she wailed. I just stared at her; I knew I missed her but not this much. I wanted so bad to take her into my arms and hold her there forever. "What the hell are you staring at me for?" she snapped.

"Nessie what's the real reason your mad at me?" I questioned trying to get her to admit the real reason.

"What?" she asked taken off guard by my question. "You know why don't play fucking games with me!"

"No Nessie I know you. You're not the type to hold grudges over stupid fucking things like this! I mean sure, I didn't tell you the whole truth…but there is something more to this huh?"

"There's no getting anything past you is there? Alright do you want me to say it? I feel as if I have to compete with my MOTHER for your…attention!" she bellowed furiously. I knew she wanted to say love, but she wouldn't her damn pride and stubbornness.

"What the hell are you talking about? You really fucking think that your dad would let me stick around if I still had it out for your mom?" I yelled back "I mean come on Nessie what kind of fucking logic is that? He's a gosh damn mind reader for crying out loud I think he would know after six fucking years!" She froze and I knew I had just broken through to her.

"Ness I'm here for you, I always have been. I don't love your mom like that anymore, can't you see." I whispered moving closer to her.

"No Jacob, you may have given up on Isabella Swan but you got second best, you still get her in way."

"The only thing of Bella's you have Ness is her eyes. And even if you had bright blue eyes I would still be here for you! How many fucking times do I have to say it? It's different for you and I." I sighed"You really think if my intentions were to be here just because your Bella's daughter that your dad or mom would let me be around? No. I'm here for Renesmee Carlie Cullen, the one and only." She was still frozen as I knew I kept blowing her insecurities out of the water. I made sure to avoid the word love, it meant a whole different thing for both of us and that would just complicate things more.

"I need time to think can you just go away?" she whispered. I nodded, walked out of the room and closed the door. This was probably the worst thing I could do…leave her alone with her own thoughts so she could find another reason to be mad at me. I went downstairs were all of the family were doing different activities. Emmett who was on the couch with his arm around Blondie looked up at me…

"Way to prove your point mutt, shut um down." He grinned, causing Blondie to smack the back of his head. "What it's not like they didn't know we could hear them." he replied innocently. I couldn't help but smirk at Emmett he was so oblivious.

"What are you guys watching?" I asked flopping on an open chair not really caring because my mind was way too preoccupied with Nessie.

"That new action flick…_noble_ _assassins_." I nodded my head to make it seem like I was paying attention. But I really wasn't. He started the movie and I decided to watch it because it would probably help take my mind off things. I attempted to pay attention which was hard because Emmett wouldn't keep his big ass trap shut.

"Yeah snipe that asshole, He deserves it!" Emmett bellowed at the movie.

"Emmett will you shut the hell up, and watch the damn movie!" Blondie snapped. I got tired of the commentary and decided to see what Pixie and Esme were doing. They were at the dining room table with a bunch of decorating shit sprawled out. I plopped down in a chair and looked at all the stuff skeptically.

"Hello Jacob, how are you?" Esme asked politely.

"Been better." I said eyeing a picture of a game room.

"I um don't mean to be intrusive but I couldn't help but over hearing your fight with Nessie…She'll come around just give her time." She said quietly.

"Yeah I know but it kills me when she's mad at me."

"I know dear." She said rubbing my back.

"So what is all this?" I questioned curiously.

"These are the designs for our new house!" Pixie replied cheerily.

"Really? So were going to have a game room?" I asked excitedly, that would be pretty cool.

"Sure are, want me to show you what we have so far?" Pixie asked eagerly bouncing in her chair. It cracked me up to see such small things make her happy.

" Uh actually I'd rather be surprised. I'm shocked you didn't want to make it some big secret to reveal to us when we got there." I replied sarcastically. I looked at Pixie who had a devilish grin on her face and that sparkle in her eye.

"Thanks Mutt that's a great idea!" I laughed, gave Esme a sympathetic look and walked up to my room. Well here we go time to play the waiting game.

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A/N: Sooo? Reviews are greatly appreciated and they help me get those chapters out faster! so review review review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey you know how it goes SM gets all the credit.**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! let's just say airplane delays SUCK! It messed up everything...but anyways, Thanks soooo muchh for the reviews they mean more to me than you can ever imagine! If it wasn't for the reviews i got i probably wouldn't have even updated this soon but i stayed up making sure i got this chapter out. So thanks so much again! So the big move is here. Sorry about the detailing of the house i wasn't sure of how to do this so i kept it simple? I think anyways i'm rambling. Hope you enjoy it let me know what you think.**

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**NPOV**

After my huge blow out with Jake, I thought for hours about what he was saying while I packed my room. I was packing the last of my boxes when I came across my favorite picture...it was Jake and I at first beach. We were lying on the beach, Jake was on his back with his hands behind his head and his ankles crossed and I was leaning up against his side with my elbows on his stomach and I had my legs out in front of me. We were both laughing at something stupid Seth had said. This picture showed our relationship point blank… Easy, like breathing. I missed Jake so much, I undoubtedly knew that I was in love with him; it was becoming harder and harder not to feel him bury his face in my curls with his massive warm arms wrapped around my waist, or not having him hold my hand, or hear his wonderful laugh and his stupid jokes that always made me laugh. I needed to ask my parents if what he was saying was really true. So I swallowed what pride I had left because after the fights I had in the past two days my pride was in short supply. It was about 2:30am and now was a good a time as any to talk. I rolled out of bed, slipped on my adidas sandals and made my way to the cottage. I made sure to make my thoughts nice and loud because it was no secret what the vampires of these houses did at night. _Dad, we need to talk. I'm coming in, in ten minutes so be ready. _I thought to my dad when I was right outside the cottage_._ When I walked in ten minutes later my mom was sitting on the couch in sweats and a t-shirt. And dad was on the couch in some silk get up. I sat in the arm chair and got right to the point.

"Was Jake telling the truth?" I asked quickly.

"Well it's nice to talk to you too." Mom answered back.

"I need to know dad." I snapped.

"Yes, he is indeed telling the truth he is here for you and only you. You really think he would still be around if he was still after your mother?" He asked. I shook my head no and continued with the next question.

"Has he just been hanging around me because I remind him of mom?"

"No Renesmee. He's here for you I don't know how many people have to tell you this for you to see." He sighed. That was all I needed to hear. I chucked all the pride I had out the window and decided that I was going to apologize for being such a brat. They were after all only doing what they thought was best.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. My mom nearly dove over the couch and pulled me into a hug.

"We're sorry too Renesmee, for not telling you sooner, but some things just need to be put off for the right time…can you understand that?" I nodded into her shoulder. "I didn't want you to find out the way you did." She said running her hand through my curls. She let go of me and I walked over to sit next her on the couch.

"I don't think I can talk to Jake yet…" I stated.

"Really, and why is that?" my dad asked. I dropped my head and began fidgeting with my hands.

"Because, I told him I love him and I obviously have no chance… I made a fool of myself, I just want it to go back to the way it was." I mumbled

"Renesmee, Jacob misses you; he would do anything for you, he was even considering not moving in with us when we move to Oregon." I looked up at him not sure if I heard him correctly.

"He what now?" I asked trying to keep the anger from my tone. My dad rolled his eyes and continued.

"If you kept this charade going up until the move he was going to ask you if you wanted him to go." I was furious! Jake was actually considering not moving with us because of one stupid fight! I jumped off the couch and sprinted to the main house and up the stairs to Jakes room. I busted in his room and he shot out of bed and was looking around on high alert.

"You're not moving with us?" I bellowed.

"What the hell Ness?" he asked his voice and body shaking.

"My dad just told me you've been thinking about not moving!" I screamed.

"Ness if you wanted space I could give you that, but it was only a fucking thought!" He yelled back.

"It's only one fight and you're already ready to throw in the towel and just cut me out of your fucking life?"

"No, of course not! But on the other hand I would do whatever you wanted me too, no matter what it was even if it killed me! I'd do anything for you!" he looked at me with pleading eyes. As I looked into his eyes I knew what I wanted…for things to just go back to the way they were before this whole fiasco happened. But could that happen when he knew I loved him?

"Jake, you're my best friend…and I can even accept that fact that you don't love me the way I love you but please promise me one thing." I whispered.

"I've already told you that I would do anything for you." He replied imploringly.

"Promise me that no matter what happens you'll never leave me." I said close to tears. He closed the distance in one stride and had me in my favorite place in the whole world…his arms. He buried his face in my curls and took a deep breath.

"I promise Ness…the only way I'm leaving is if you tell me to go away." He whispered into my hair. It felt so good to be back in his arms.

"Thank you…" I said softly into his chest. I love you Jacob. We stood there for a while before he finally let go.

"Now can I go back to sleep?" he asked amused.

"Sure I guess so." I grinned up at him. He kissed me on my head and pulled me back into his arms.

"I really missed you, yah know." He said after he let go.

"I missed you too. Sorry I'm such an idiot." I said with a smirk.

"You're just like your mother." His eyes grew eight sizes and I just laughed.

"It's fine Jacob." I seen him let out his breath and grin. I rolled my eyes and left to go back to my room. I climbed back into bed and felt a whole lot better …now I would just have to deal with the fact that the guy I love still looks at me like his little sister. Maybe I could do something to change that?

The next few days passed and everything seemed to go back to normal with Jake and I. Well besides my whole I'm in love with my best friend ordeal…but I wasn't going to let that get in the way of our relationship. He never mentioned me being in love with him, it was like it never even happened. I don't really know what to feel about that.

Jake and I said our final goodbyes to his family and it was harder than I ever imagined. Especially Rachel…She asked Jake and I to come over to see the baby's nursery and to tell us we better be there when the baby is being born. I of course told her we wouldn't miss it for the world and then she asked Jake and I to be the baby's god parents. I was shocked I didn't even know what to say I just blubbered yes, while Jake beamed next to me.

It was the day of the move and I was lying in my bed freaking out. I kept my family at bay by asking my dad with my thoughts if he would keep everyone out that I just needed to get it all out on my own and I would be down shortly. After twenty minutes of nonstop tears I figured I couldn't put this day off any longer. I stumbled out of bed and headed to the closet to get a start on my day. I grabbed my yellow and blue peace sign shirt, a pair of jeans, socks, underwear and a bra and left to go shower. Walking through the house was an eerie feeling; it was so full yet so empty. I got to the bathroom and stripped down and got in the shower. As I let the burning hot water flow over me I knew my tears were flowing too. I was leaving so much behind. I got out, dried off, got dressed and then made my way down the stairs. Everybody was already in the living room waiting for me. I immediately walked to Jake because he is always the one to keep me calm. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and guided me out of the house. Once we got to the bottom of the stairs we turned and looked at the house one last time. I could feel the tears begin to well up and spill over onto my cheeks as I looked at the only home I've ever known.

"It will be okay Ness." Jake whispered into my hair. I buried my face into his side and nodded unable to trust that if I opened my mouth I wouldn't be able to hold back sobs.

"I'll be with you, and any time you feel home sick I'll drive you back…okay?" he assured me in a loving voice. I looked up at him and smiled. He was so incredible and he always knew how to make me feel better.

"Thanks Jake." I broke free from his hug, grabbed his hand and pulled him to his Porsche. "Come everyone's waiting for us…we still have to say bye to Grandpa Charlie and Sue." I climbed in the seat and buckled my seat belt. As Jake bolted down the street I just sat back and let the wind blow through my hair. Ten minutes later we pulled up in front of Grandpa Charlie's house. He was outside holding Sue around the waist with a forced smile on. I jump out of the car and ran into his arms and started sobbing again. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly.

"Oh Grandpa, I'm going to miss you so much!" I sobbed.

"S'Okay Ness! We'll come visit soon and you can come visit anytime you want." He replied with a broken voice.

"I know but it won't be the same, not being right down the street from you."

"I know kiddo, but it will be okay." He said softly. I pulled myself together and pulled away.

"I Love you Grandpa."

"I love you too Ness." He said pulling me in for another hug. I moved onto Sue and gave her a hug.

"Thank-you Sue for taking care of Grandpa. I'm gonna Miss You." I said as I pulled away from the hug.

"Of course Nessie, I'm going to miss you as well." After everyone said their goodbyes we made our way back to our cars. I slid into the seat and looked forward to the future. I looked over at Jake and knew that everything would be okay as long as he was with me.

"What?" he questioned going back and forth between me and the road.

"Nothing, just thinking that this won't be that bad as long as you guys are with me." I smiled. He grabbed my hand and jetted down the road to our new home. Two and half hours later we turned up a hidden drive, and up to the driveway of our new house. I stepped out of the car and looked at the phenomenal house that sat nuzzled in the woods. The house was large and contemporary, like the one in forks. It had three large levels and a smaller one on top that looked like a room. There were stone walls with over sized windows that took up most of the walls. It was breathtaking. The family was all gathered on the huge wraparound porch waiting to go inside. Aunt Alice was bouncing in front of the door blocking us all with a grin plastered across her face.

"Alice will you move we just wanna go in." Emmett moaned. She shot him a menacing glare and opened the door.

"Welcome home." We all walked in and I was amazed. We stood in the bright foyer and already I felt like I was home. It had pictures of our family and different sentimental things brought from forks. The family all went their own ways while Jake and I went to the left through a huge archway. We walked into a immense room with a ton of book shelves, a TV, couches and a piano. It had a very similar feel to the living room in forks. There was a doorway off the room and when I opened it I could see Jakes jaw drop and mine did too. We walked into a room that had windows all around but the windows didn't lead to outside… It was underwater. There was a foosball table in the corner with a massive projection screen and a bunch of bean bags all over the place. Through the clear cabinet doors you could see every game system known to man. And there was a closet with DVDs and video games from floor to ceiling. Jake just stood there looking around the room with an awestruck grin on his beautiful face.

"Come on we have to see the rest of the house…" I said dragging him by the hand out towards the archway to the right of the foyer. It lead to an elegant dining room with chic white chairs and a large glass table. We then made our way into the kitchen. It was colossal like everything else so far in this house. There was a bar in the middle of the room and all around there was oversized stainless steel appliances. Everything was top of the line and exquisite. Maybe I would learn how to cook?

"I can already smell what Esme cooking."Jake grinned. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the French doors to the left. When I opened them I almost stopped breathing at the sight. There was a long built in pool up against the house with a hot tub inside of the pool at the end. I assume that's where the underwater windows came into play. There was a beautiful garden with a pond, a BBQ pit and a large deck with multiple chairs and tables. I could already tell this was going to be a favorite spot for Jake and I. I was anxious to get to my room so I left Jake digging through the fridge and bolted back to the foyer and up the stairs. I wandered down the large hall and seen room after room. Grandpa's office, Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice's room, Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie's room, but when I didn't come across my room I headed back up the hall and up a flight of stairs. I passed mom and dad's room, Jake's room and then at the end of the hall way was two doors I opened the one on the right but it was a stair case which I was sure lead to grandpa and grandma's suite. I walked across the hall and twisted the knob and opened my door to my new room.

My room was based off of the place I was going to miss the most; first beach. There wasn't a plain wall in the room. Two walls were full glass and the rest of the walls had a mural of the beach. The carpet was plush and pale to look like sand and there was a small fire place in the corner. I assumed to be a bonfire. All around were things from forks like my Seahawks pennant, my guitar, a desk with my sketch books and pictures of my family and I. In the middle of the room was my huge four poster king size bed, it had thick tan curtains on each post. The comforter was pale blue and tan and I knew this would help me feel better about leaving home. There were two doors off my room so I went to open the first one which was a massive walk in closet, there was a seat made into the wall and rack after rack of clothes. I would have to venture through here. I needed to remember to thank Auntie Alice and Grandma because I knew this was all them. I walked out and strolled to the other door, it was already cracked so I gently nudged it and what I seen was remarkable…I walked into a jack and Jill bathroom with a claw foot oval soaking tub, an enormous stand up waterfall shower, a toilet and double sinks. I skipped across the bathroom to the other door and opened it and I already knew whose room it was…Jake's.

He was laying on his huge bed facedown with his legs sticking out from the bed. I laughed and ran to jump on the bed next to him.

"So whatcha think?" I asked propping myself up on my elbow. He rolled over to his back and smiled his big Jacob smile I love so much.

"This is so incredible. I never thought I would even see a house this extravagant let alone live in one."

"Well get used to it cause us Cullens live the good life." He let out a loud wolf of a laugh.

"Come on let's go down stairs and see what the rest of the family is up too." He said pulling me off the bed and dragging me down the stairs by my hand.

"Well I know mom and dad needed to hunt so they've already left. But sure we can see what everyone else is up to." I explained as we walked down the hall. But when we reached the second floor I realized I needed to talk to my aunts.

"Uh you go on ahead I need to talk to Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie."

"Okay well I'm sure I'll end up in the game room so come find me." He said hopping down the stairs. I giggled and turned towards Aunt Alice and Uncle Jaspers room. I knocked on the door knowing that my two aunts were already waiting in there for me since they heard me tell Jake I needed to talk to them.

"Come in Nessie Darling." Aunt Rosalie chimed.

I walked in and they were both sitting on the edge of the bed.

"So what's up?" Aunt Alice said with a hint of bitterness that she couldn't already see why I wanted to talk.

"I uh need to talk to you guys about something." I said shyly looking at my feet.

"Its okay Nessie whatever you need to talk about you can just say it." Aunt Rosalie said pulling me in between them on the bed while rubbing my curls.

"Well it's about…school." I said changing my mind at the last minute.

"What about it sweetie, I know your nervous but really there is no need because everyone always loves you." Aunt Rosalie said soothingly.

"Well actually I've been thinking…that maybe it's time to spice up my wardrobe." I can't believe I'm doing this after I fought so hard to let Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie wear my choice of clothes which consists of jeans, t-shirts and sneakers. Aunt Alice began bouncing up and down on the bed.

"Really?" Aunt Alice squealed.

"Yeah I think it's time to mature myself you know so people take me seriously when I go to school." Which was true… but I was 'maturing' myself more to get Jake to notice me than anyone else.

"Oh Nessie I'm so happy I can't wait!" Aunt Alice shrieked. Aunt Rosalie wasn't giving me the reaction I was expecting.

"What's wrong Aunt Rose?" I questioned. She looked at me and gave me a sweet smile.

"Oh it's nothing Nessie, but are you sure this is what you want to do? I mean I don't think you should change who you are just to be accepted." She said softly. Maybe she was right? But I want to stop being seen as Jake's little sister and one of the guys. I want so much more than that. If the only way to do it is to look and act like a girl to get his attention then at end of the day I have to know I did everything I could.

"I'm not changing who I am I just want to start acting like a girl." I said with a laugh. She shrugged and rubbed my curls.

"If that's what you want sweetie." I nodded.

"When do you want to get started?" I asked trying my hardest to sound excited. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad… Aunt Alice jumped off the bed and clapped her hands together.

"Shall we begin to plan out a shopping trip for tomorrow? I mean school starts next week." She replied enthusiastically.

"I suppose." I laughed "let me check with Jake just to make sure he didn't have anything planned." Aunt Rose scoffed. I rolled my eyes and started for down stairs.

"Hey darling niece of mine, if your mutt says you can go lets plan for 8 am?" she questioned.

"Sure, sure." I replied on my way out. I made my way down stairs to the game room and sure enough Jake, Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper were all in there playing some game. The room was practically shaking from how loud the sound was. I went and flopped down by Jake.

"So how did your talk with Blondie and Pixie go?" he asked over the game trying to pay attention to me and the screen.

"It went good; do you have anything planned for tomorrow?" I yelled over the game.

"Uh not that I know of, why what's up?" he yelled back.

"Nothing I have a shopping trip planned with Aunt Alice and Rose."

"Do you really need more Nikes and Jeans?" he shouted back with a grin. Boy was he wrong; I probably wouldn't be getting either of those things tomorrow.

"Uh not really but more clothes couldn't hurt."

"Okay well good luck." He replied back. I sunk deeper into the bean bag chair and into thought. For the rest of the day and all the way into the night we all just hung out in the game room playing games and watching movies. Jake and I ate pizza the whole meal I had to keep reminding myself I was a girl and to eat like one. At the end of _the dark knight_ it was about 10:30 and I figured it was time for bed with a 6:30 am wakeup call being delivered.

"Well that's my cue I gotta get up bright and early in the morning." I said standing and stretching. I walked over to kiss uncle Jasper goodnight.

"G'night Uncle Jazz." I said as I pecked his cheek.

"G'night my darling niece." He replied with a laugh. I'm sure because he was feeling all my emotions: fear, anxiety, and dread…All of which were caused by tomorrow. I normally loved shopping with my aunts but only when it was for what I loved to wear. I grinned and made my way over to Uncle Emmett.

"Night Uncle Em." I said as I pecked his cheek also.

"Goodnight kiddo sweet dreams." He replied.

"Hm I think I'm gonna go to sleep too. I'll see you guys tomorrow." Jake announced getting up.

"Aw come on Jake I wanna kick your ass some more." Uncle Emmett whined.

"That's not how I remembered it but tomorrow maybe I can help clear your memory." Jake laughed.

"You're on Mutt." Uncle Emmett replied with a smirk. I laughed and walked out with Jake on my heels.

"So where you guy going to shop?" he asked.

"Not sure but knowing Aunt Alice it will be some big city." I sighed. He scrunched his eyebrows at me questioningly at my reaction.

"You don't seem too enthused about this trip as normal? Something on your mind you wanna talk about?" he asked curiously.

"No just a bit anxious for school that's all, I mean this is my first time in high school." I replied. By this time we were right outside my room door.

"You're gonna do great Ness. There's no need to worry. I promise you." I nodded gave him a hug goodnight and climbed into my wonderful bed. I was fast asleep minutes later.

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A/N: Well whatcha think... good bad? Reviews make me so happy! and they

**motivate me to get chapters out faster so the more you review the faster i go! so thank you so much to those who have reviewed it means more than you know. :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**SM owns it.**

**A/N:Oh man! i'm sorry for the delay! but i just got back home and i am getting settled back in. hopefully the updates will be more fluid but i am starting school soon so it's gonna be hell, but i will try my hardest to keep it steady. THANK YOU for those who reviewed and fav'd and alerted i'll tell you reviews will help. it means a lot! tell me what you think! **

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**NPOV**

I woke up the next morning with Aunt Alice pounding on my bedroom door.

"Come on Nessie rise and shine princess. Its 6:30 I want to be on our way to Portland in thirty minutes so up, up, up!" she hollered through the door. I grunted, pulled the pillow over my head, and fell back asleep. A few minutes later the blankets were being ripped off of me and I was being pulled out of bed.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen get your ass out of bed right now! I want to be there when the stores open!" Aunt Alice bellowed pulling me by the arm.

"Alright, alright, I'm up." I groaned as I stumbled out of bed.

"Go get ready, Rose and I will be down stairs waiting when you're ready." She said walking out of the room. I stretched out and walked into the closet. I found my favorite jeans, my favorite Bob Marley t-shirt and my favorite Nikes, since I knew I wouldn't be wearing much of any of my old favorite wardrobe for a while. I made my way to the bathroom trying to be as quite as possible so I wouldn't wake Jake. I couldn't resist so I cracked the door open to sneak a peek at him. He was so adorable when he slept. He was sprawled out across his bed with his limbs everywhere and he had the most serene face on. I figured I had better get a move on so I closed the door quietly and started the miraculous shower. It was the best shower I've ever taken I felt so relaxed when I got out which I was going to need. I got out dried off, dressed and apprehensively decided it was time to go get the day started. When I got to the kitchen Aunt Alice was sitting at the bar tapping her perfect fingers on the counter impatiently.

"I'm here. Just let me grab something to eat and we can go." I sighed.

"I made you a bagel." She replied cheerily. She slid an everything bagel smothered in cream cheese across the counter, my favorite.

"Well lets go then, where's Aunt Rose?" I questioned through a mouth full of bagel.

"Looking up cars online, I think we are all due for upgrades." She said with a smile. I loved cars and I couldn't wait to drive but as a stupid rule my mom and dad said I couldn't drive until my sixth birthday. I was happy my birthday was finally a few days away because Jake promised to take me driving as soon as I could. Maybe I could talk to Mom and Dad about getting me a car soon too?

"What are you thinking of getting?" I asked as we walked towards the garage.

"You know, I think I'd like the new Turbo 911. But I'm sure that will change if I look at some other cars." We were now entering the garage and Aunt Rose was already in the driver's seat of Uncle Emmett's Jeep.

"Why are we taking that?" I asked curiously.

"Nessie Dear, we are buying you a whole new wardrobe do you really expect us to fit all those clothes in our cars?" Aunt Rose replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I shook my head no and cringed because this was going to be a long day. I clambered into the back seat, put my seat belt on and leaned my head against the head rest…the next thing I knew we were walking into Nordstrom's. I wanted so bad to avert my path to the sneakers but I had to remember 'girly'. So I lagged behind Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose as they grabbed just about everything they could get their mitts on. Twenty minutes later I was being shoved into a dressing room with dresses and other types of clothes that I had no Idea what the hell they were called. I tried on I don't know how many different dresses and outfits. It wasn't as bad as I thought and I had to admit I did look pretty. I was happy that Aunt Alice gave me a few pairs of jeans nothing like what I wore though…these were five hundred dollars and what Aunt Alice called the 'Classy distressed' look. I had no idea what that meant all I knew was they had random holes but I thought they were cute. After what felt like an eternity of trying clothes on we made our way to the shoes. But surprisingly I was happy with the options I was given, they were no Nikes but the heels were actually pretty cute and surprisingly I could walk in them, I guess I gained a little more vampire gracefulness with age. My favorite is the Marc Jacobs they are 4 inches high, simple, sleek, and black**. **Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose picked up some stuff for themselves and everyone else too. By the time we left Portland at five pm we had a whole trunk and backseat PACKED with clothes and shoes. When we got home it was six and I was worn the fuck out. I was really nervous to reveal my new clothes to everyone afraid of how they were going to take them. Aunt Alice, Aunt Rose and I brought all of my stuff up stairs to my room. As soon as we set the stuff down they went into my closet and started boxing most of it for charity. I let them do what they had to do and I went to find Jake. I went to his room but he wasn't there so I wandered to the next place I thought he would be…the game room which was empty. What I did see was five pairs of legs in the pool though the windows. I laughed and sprinted towards the back yard. Dad and mom were lying on lawn chairs talking; Grandma Esme was at the BBQ pit grilling what smelled like streak, ribs and burgers, and Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper were on one side of volleyball net while Jake, Embry and Seth were on the other side with their backs to me and they looked like they were in the middle of an intense game. I waltzed over to the pool and plopped down on the ground, on the side closest to Jake. When he turned and seen me he grinned and swam to the edge putting his arms on the edge of the pool.

"Hey Ness how was the shopping trip?" he asked

"Uh productive, I got tons of new clothes. How was your day?"

"This has pretty much been it, just been hanging out with the guys." Just then Seth and Embry noticed me and swam over to the side.

"Ness!" Seth yelped. "We've you been?"

"Just did a bit a shopping…" Embry climbed out of the pool and shook off showering me with water.

"Hey Embry" I said giggling and shielding my face.

"Sup Ness how you been?" he said flopping down beside me.

"Great, when did you guys get here?" I asked.

"Uh like noon been hanging out in the pool whooping some vampire ass in volleyball." Embry replied with a bark of a laugh.

"Ha don't kid yourself mutt. Last game we won." Uncle Emmett chorused swimming up.

"Whatever man you know we beat you." Seth shot back playfully.

"Well Ness what do you say? Wanna even up the teams and join your uncles in defeating these jackasses?" Uncle Jasper asked with a grin. I jumped up off the ground.

"Sure I'm always down to whoop some wolf ass." I said with a smirk. Jake, Embry and Seth looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Well than princess bring it on!" Embry shouted diving in the pool. I turned on my heel and sprinted up the stairs to change in my room. When I got back to the room there was at least twenty boxes stacked precisely up against the wall. I walked in the closest and Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice were neatly putting all of my new clothes and shoes away. I sighed that all my clothes were gone. I walked over to my dresser were my bathing suits and under clothes are and pulled opened the drawer. My mouth dropped at what was in the drawer. My normal boy shorts and plain bra's were no longer there; in their place was a bunch of lacy revealing bras and underwear.

"Where…Where is all my stuff?" I stuttered.

"Well Ness, you have a whole new wardrobe. Underwear included." Aunt Rosalie said casually not even looking back at me from the shelf she was organizing. I looked back to the drawer and started blushing. Oh well I can deal with this later. I started looking for my bathing suit when I couldn't find it I looked up to Aunt Alice.

"Where are my bathing suits?" I asked a little worried about what was going to be the answer. Aunt Alice skipped over to me pulled out some skimpy bikini and threw it at me.

"Here you go." She said smugly as she tossed it at me. I opened it up it was a two piece zebra print bikini with pink ties and borders.

"What the hell is this?" I asked in all seriousness. I was used to wearing tanktinis with boy shorts.

"Your new bathing suit." She said walking back to her shelf.

"You're kidding right? I'm not wearing this with my uncles, Jake, Seth, Embry, and my…my DAD! No way in hell." I commented freaking out, more so about dad than anyone else. Aunt Rose scoffed.

"Ness your dad needs to accept that you're not a little kid anymore. It's just a two piece bathing suit. Besides the rest of your bathing suits are packed away now and I'm not getting them out." I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom to try this catastrophe on. I changed quickly facing away from the mirror. I turned around and looked at myself…my boobs looked really good and the bottoms just barely covered my ass, but I liked it and it definitely made me look more mature. I grabbed a towel from the closet and wrapped it around myself. I avoided my Aunts on the way out and went down stairs to the pool. When I got outside Embry and Seth were on the ledge facing me and Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper were waiting on the side of the pool facing away from me, and Jake had his back towards me drinking a bottle of water. I bit my lip nervously and dropped the towel. I heard my dad let out a furious growl and Seth and Embry's eyes were almost popping out of their heads, it was actually really funny. Jake spun around to see what everyone was looking at and almost choked to death. My cheeks immediately burned red so I bolted to the pool and dove in. When I resurfaced mom was talking low and intense to dad and Jake was still standing there like an idiot looking where I was just standing. Seth and Embry were awkwardly looking at their hands and uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett were having a very animated conversation…to animated. I rolled my eyes.

"So are we gonna play or what?" I asked loudly. All the guys but Jake agreed way to enthusiastically. They all jumped in the water except Jake who still stood rooted on the spot.

"Jake!" I yelled. He turned around towards me and looked with a weird expression on. I just shrugged it off.

"Wh..what?" he said looking quite confused. I laughed and shook my head…Was it really that bad?

"Are you playing or what?" I hollered.

"Oh yeah." He ran and jumped in the pool causing a huge splash. I laughed and swam to my spot ready to play. After thirty minutes of serious ass whipping we decided to call game and eat seeing as the boys can't go an hour without eating. I swam to the edge got out of the pool and went to grab a plate when I my dad called me.

"Renesmee, could you please come here for a moment?" He said through his teeth. I looked at the boys already devouring the food and sprinted to my dad.

"What's up?" I questioned innocently, because I had a feeling I knew what this was about.

"Where is your normal swim attire?" He asked again through his teeth.

"Up in the boxes Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose just packed. Why?" I replied feigning innocence again.

"Don't you think that is a bit…revealing?" He spat. I rolled my eyes, surprisingly I was more comfortable than I ever thought I would be…maybe this change would be a good thing?

"Dad I'm sixteen, you're going to have to accept the fact that I'm not a little girl anymore. Things are about to change." I replied using Aunt Rosalie's words.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mom asked.

"Nothing, I just brought clothes that aren't my normal jeans and t-shirts that's all. It's about time people look at me like a sixteen year old not a twelve year old." I stated. Mom sighed, while dad pinched the bridge of his nose. _You're overreacting you know?_ I thought. He let out an enraged growl.

"Edward, I think this was bound to happen." She said soothingly to dad. I took this as my cue; I shrugged and left back for the food. I could hear him trying to argue with mom about how I was only 'six'. I grabbed my towel, wrapped it around myself and went to the grill. I snagged a steak and some vegetable kebabs and dumped myself next to Jake at the table. He was eating like a mongrel talking to Seth and Embry about college life. I forgot that Jake and I would be going to two different schools on Monday, meaning I was going to be without him for eight hours. I started freaking out at the thought causing my heart to start hammering in my chest. Jake stopped talking and looked at me.

"Ness are you okay?" he asked his toned filled with worry. I swallowed and nodded my head.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said trying my hardest to sound convincing, it didn't really matter because my heart was a dead giveaway I was lying. He narrowed his eyes at me and got up.

"Let's talk." Was all he said before turning around and walking towards the garage. I sighed, got up and followed him out. He was already in his Porsche waiting.

"This isn't necessary." I commented standing at the front of the car.

"I can tell when you're lying, so spill what's wrong?" He asked concerned.

"Nothing I'm just worried about school. I only have one day left until I start and I'm scared." I said earnestly. He got out of the car and grabbed me up in a hug.

"Ness, how many times do I have to tell you everything's gonna be great? Really, don't worry about it." He said from my hair. I nodded into his chest and pushed away with a grin on.

"Now will you stop being so melodramatic and let me eat my steak?"

"Sure, Sure." He said pulling me back outside to the table. Jake, Seth, Embry and I sat and ate talking about everything under the sun, time flew by and it was nine o'clock before we knew it.

"Shit dude I gotta get home." Embry said looking at his phone. "I forgot I have a date with some babe I met at the grocery store."

"Oh Ethel is finally giving you the time of day." Seth retorted with a laugh. Jake and I looked at Seth and then Embry who looked pissed.

"Fuck you man. You're just jealous I get all the girls and you don't." Embry shot back.

"Who the hell is Ethel?" Jake asked as confused as I was.

"She's the old lady who works down at the store. Embry's had his eye on her for quite some time huh Embry?" Seth answered back cracking up. Embry chucked a fork at Seth and got up.

"Her name is Leslie and she's fucking sexy as hell." He said spitefully. "And she has a friend, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come Seth…but now I'll ask Jake. So what do you say man?" Seth stopped laughing and looked at Jake. I could feel the jealousy boiling up. I looked over at Jake who was looking at Embry like he was a complete moron and I couldn't help but agree.

"Naw man. Maybe you should just stick with Seth." He said awkwardly. Embry shrugged and pulled Seth up by the back of his neck.

"Looks like I'm stuck with you so say bye-bye and let's go." Embry said mockingly. Seth punched Embry in the stomach and came over to hug me.

"Later Ness, I'll see you soon."

"Bye Seth don't get in trouble with Em and make sure to stay safe." I said winking at him. He gave me a goofy half smile and said bye to Jake, while Embry came and gave me a hug bye.

"Bye Ness. You looked bangin' in your bathing suit today by the way." He said as he was walking towards the house. I could feel all the blood rushing to my cheeks, and I could hear Jake growling from behind me. After Embry was gone I spun on Jake and narrowed my eyes at him. I was taken aback because he was shaking like he was about to phase.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked shocked.

"Nothing." He answered shortly.

"Sure, and that's why you're about to rip all of your clothes and phase?" I replied sarcastically.

"Nothing, Embry's just a moron!" he spat back.

"Why? Because he said he I looked good in my bathing suit? I don't see why you should care." I snapped back just as defensive. He paused for minute as if he was really thinking about what I just said.

"I care. He's such a dumb ass." He said back lamely

"Well at least someone noticed." I hissed back. I turned around and stomped into the house and up to my room. Damn he's such moron! Maybe this plan isn't going to work as well as I wanted to. When I got to my room all the boxes were gone and everything looked normal. I walked in my closet and was surprised to find a note.

_Ness,_

_We left a few of your old favorites…but they are not to be worn often. Hope you like all the new stuff you have. Welcome to the club. _

_Love Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice_

I smiled and went to find my old t-shirt of Jakes I slept in. I slowly crept to my underwear drawer, pulled it open dramatically slow and yanked out the first bunch of lace I spotted. They were boy shorts, yellow and lacy. I rolled my eyes, sighed and went to shower. Thirty minutes later I was climbing in my bed and was just about to drift off when I heard the thick tan curtain being pulled back and then I felt my bed shift. I sat up startled to see Jake at the foot of the bed with his legs hanging over the edge and his head in his hands…a trademark thing of Jake to do.

"Jake what the hell are you doing?" I asked my voice coming out in a whisper from lack of use.

"I can't sleep with you mad at me." He whispered back from his hands.

"I'm not mad at you." I replied back crawling from under my covers to sit next to him.

"Are you sure? I can be an idiot sometimes."

"That you can, but I'm not mad at you for being an idiot." I laughed. He looked at me for the first time that night and his eyes grew eight sizes. I looked down and realized all I had on was the damn lacy underwear and Jakes big t-shirt. I inhumanly jumped back to the top of the bed and under the covers. I could feel myself blushing like never before so I pulled the covers over my head.

"I'm not mad at you. Goodnight Jake." I muttered embarrassedly.

"Uh night Ness, see you in the morning." He whispered back. A few seconds later I heard the door close. I groaned out loud, why was I such an idiot! My mind went haywire for a few minutes before I drifted back to sleep. I woke up the next morning at eleven o'clock. I went into the closet, grabbed a pair of Victoria secret pink sweats and made my way down stairs. When I got there Jake was already sitting in the living room looking over brochures of Pacific Oregon University. No one was here and I couldn't smell them so they must be hunting, something I needed to do before school tomorrow.

"Morning Jake, you wanna go hunt with me." I asked dumping myself next to him on the couch.

"Mornin' Ness, and sure when you wanna go?"

"Mm after you finish your brochure?"

"Sure, sure sounds like a plan."

"Okay I'll be right back." I sprinted up the stairs to find some of my old attire to hunt in because there was no way in hell I was hunting in heels. I found some old jeans, a t shirt and Nikes slipped them on and was back down stairs in three minutes. Jake was already by the back door with a grin on leaning against the frame.

"Ready?" I nodded and headed for the woods. I got about ten feet in woods and went to a tree to wait for Jake to phase. A few seconds later a big wolf came trotting up next to me with a wolfy grin on.

"Let's race." I bolted off deep into the woods and hopped into a tree. Jumping from tree to tree, I could see Jake below me weaving in and out of trees. A few minutes later I could smell the deer we were looking for. I stopped in my tree and fell clumsily down out of the tree next to Jake on the ground. He let out a big wolfy snort and came to nudge me with his nose.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said getting up and brushing myself off. I stood still on the spot and tapped into my supernatural abilities. (I have to really concentrate to tap into them it doesn't come as natural as the rest of my family.) I inhaled deeply and could tell there were four of them drinking from the river. Then I could hear their hearts beating which made a dull ache in the back of my throat become more dominate. My family told me that theirs was a persisting burning and it was really painful, but mine is just a dull ache even when I am thirsty. I let my instincts take over me and I shot through the shrubbery taking down the first one in sight, I drank until the deer was drained of all blood, after I was done I went to find Jake. I didn't have to go far he was just finishing up with an elk when I walked into view.

"Ready to go back home wolf boy?" I asked amused. He nodded his big wolf head and I ran and hopped on his back. He dashed through the forest at full speed, with me on his back. I just sat back and let the breeze flow through my curls. When we got home I jumped off his back and waited for him to change so we could watch a movie. He came into view avoiding my eyes. Oh great what's wrong now. I swear he has like an hourly PMS.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked as we walked in the house.

"Nothing, what makes you think something's wrong?" He answered back hesitantly. I rolled my eyes.

"Really Jake? I can tell you're lying so spill, what's wrong?" I said mocking him from yesterday.

"Nothing I'm just worried about school, I'm scared" He said back in an equally mocking tone. I rolled my eyes and went into the theatre room to pick out a movie. I chose _Any Given Sunday, _one of Jake and I's favorite movie. When the movie was over I began to wonder where my family was it never took this long to hunt unless they made a trip out of it.

"Do you know where everyone is?" I asked Jake.

"Mm no clue." He said stifling a yawn. Oh well I'll call them in an hour or so.

"So are you excited for school?" I asked turning to him.

"Yeah I guess I am. It's gonna be nice to get a start on my life." He said sprawling out on the bean bag.

"So have you decided what major you want to do?" He leaned forward and put his head in his hands like he was embarrassed or something. "Jake what's wrong?" I asked concerned.

"Well my major is a bit extensive. I'm afraid I might fail." He whispered.

"What is it?" I asked soothingly. He mumbled something incoherent. So I got out of my bean bag, kneeled in front of him and pulled his head up gently with my hands. I stared into his breath taking pools of brown.

"Jake whatever you want to do you're gonna be amazing at it. So what is it?" He stared into my eyes some more.

"Pre-Law" He whispered. That took me by surprise I always thought he would do engineering or something.

"Wow Jake that's great, you'll be a great lawyer!" I exclaimed genuinely. Just then I heard the garage door open. Weird they must have gone somewhere else. My mom walked into the room with a smirk on her beautiful face.

"Hey guys could you come outside for a minute?" I nodded got off my knees and pulled Jake up by the hand.

"Come on, we'll talk about this later." I said skipping to the garage; I stopped when I got to the doors. There was brand new sexy ass cars all lined up. Grandpa was leaned against a sleek dark blue Mercedes Benz S600, Dad was propped up on a light blue Infiniti QX, Aunt Alice was sitting neatly on the hood of a white Maserati GranCabrio, Uncle Emmett was sitting in the open trunk of a Green H3 alpha, Aunt Rosalie was leaning against a beautiful yellow Lamborghini Murcielago lp640 roadster admiring her hair, and Uncle Jasper's legs were hanging out of the driver's side of a Acura MDX.

"Wow now I see where you guys went. Where's your cars mom and grandma?" Mom smiled and pointed to a Red convertible Mustang GT and an all black Range Rover. Not cars I could imagine my mom and grandma in. I looked back at Jake who had a smirk on his god like face.

"Wow that's a change of cars." I voiced.

"Those aren't ours silly." Grandma replied amused. "The Mustang is yours and the Range Rover is Jake's." My jaw dropped and I was speechless.

"My daughter speechless never thought I'd see the day." Mom laughed. I tore across the garage to MY new car and marveled. I ripped the door open and sat down behind the wheel. Jake opened the passenger side door and slid into the seat next to me.

"Happy early birthday Ness." He said with a grin. I looked at him perplexed.

"Wait who got this for me?" He smiled my favorite smile.

"I did." He replied shortly still smiling.

"You what?" I asked confused.

"Well a few months before we moved here, the doc came up to me and asked if I wanted to have Pixie put some of the money I saved up into the stock market, I agreed and I vowed to spend a lot of it on you." He finished. I couldn't even speak. He spent like 30,000 dollars on a car for me?

"Why'd you do that?" I asked still astonished.

"Because Ness you're my best friend. Will you just accept it please; it will personally offend me if you don't accept it." He stated. All I could do was smile like a moron. I got out of the car and walked to his door. He was looking up at me with a half of grin I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug.

"Thank-you so much Jake, this is the greatest thing anyone's ever gotten me! Now can I take it for a drive?" I yapped in one breath.

"You gotta ask your parents Ness." He said laughing. I looked imploringly at my mom and dad…

"Only if you wear your seatbelt and stay safe." My mom said answering my look. I squealed and jumped up and down.

"Come on Jake get in you've got a driving lesson to teach!" I exclaimed. Nearly four hours later I was cruising down the street like I was a damn professional.

"Shit Ness, you're a natural." Jake said as I pulled smoothly in place next to his Range Rover. I was on cloud nine nothing was bringing me down. I jumped out of the car and bounced into the house.

"Hey Nessie, did you crash your car yet?" Uncle Emmett asked from the couch. I shot him a nasty look.

"Jake says I'm a natural." I said gloating.

"Ha he's obligated! He…uh brought you the car." Uncle Emmett laughed stumbling over his words. What the hell does that have to do with anything? I always knew Uncle Emmett wasn't hinged right. I rolled my eyes and went to kiss everyone goodnight.

"Well family I must bid you goodnight." I said still on cloud nine from the amazing night I had. See this is why I love Jake, all we did was go on a ride and it was probably one of the most amazing nights I've ever had.

"That was incredible!" I said still gushing about the day.

"I love how such minute things make you happy." He said with a barking laugh. We reached my door like always I gave him a hug, in which he pulled away way to fast.

"Do you want a ride to school tomorrow? You can drive."

"Really?" I blurted out. "You'd let me drive your brand new Range Rover?" he scoffed.

"Come on Ness get real. I'll drive you to school in your Mustang and then I'll come back home and get the Rover and go to school."

"Okay" I shrugged. I gave him another hug and journeyed into my closet to pick out my outfit for tomorrow. I tried on about ten different outfits and decided on distressed jeans, a form fitting short sleeved black scoop neck blouse and my black lustrous Marc Jacobs. I anxiously took off my outfit and placed it neatly on the dresser and climbed into my warm bed.

A blink of an eye later my alarm clock was blaring _Bach cello sui t I,_ I tugged opened the curtain around my bed, hopped out and danced around the room excitedly to the music. I skipped to the bath room to get ready, jumped in the shower washed up and got right out. I was more excited now that the day was here… school and the debuting of the new and improved Nessie. I went to my closet, dropped my towel and grabbed a black silk push up bra that accentuated my boobs perfectly and paired it with the matching lace boy shorts. I slipped on my outfit and pranced to the bathroom to do my hair and makeup. I let my curls flow loosely down my back and spruced myself up with a little mascara and eye liner. I finished the look with the locket mom got me and of course the one thing I never took off… Jake's bracelet he gave me my first Christmas. I looked at myself in the mirror and I had to admit I was pretty damn impressive. But the thing that surprised me the most was how much cleavage and ass I had. I went back to my room turned off my music and grabbed my back pack to head down stairs. As I was about to turn into the kitchen my jitters and butterflies came rushing back. I rounded the corner and forgot them all. Jake was sitting at the island with his back to me. He looks sexy as hell like always he does… he was wearing a baby blue polo, khaki shorts and all white Nike air force ones. Probably my favorite look on him. He spun around on his stool when I got to the kitchen and it looked like his air supply was being constricted, and his eyes were huge like an old school cartoon character. I could hear his heart thumping in his chest faster than normal and I could see him choking down air with a tough swallow.

"What?" I questioned innocently. Now that is the reaction I was going for, I think he notices me now. I went and sat down next to him and pulled the food that was waiting for me on the counter close to me and began eating.

"Uh nothing, that's not Nikes and t-shirts." He commented about two minutes after I started eating.

"Yeah well I figured it's about time I learned to be a girl." I said with a laugh. He let out a small nervous chuckle.

"Well uh you look….uh….Nice." He stuttered into his plate.

"Thanks!" I replied cheerfully. "So are you excited, Mr. big shot pre-law?" I added trying to change the subject to make him more comfortable.

"Uh yeah and a bit nervous I guess." I looked over at him and he was staring out the window shoveling a spoonful of eggs into his mouth.

"I already told you Jake you have nothing to worry about you're gonna be a great lawyer." I said soothingly taking his hand, upon which I got a jolt of tingles through my body like I did that first time after my dream. I could feel his whole body go tense, so I pulled away quickly.

"Thanks, that means a lot coming from you Ness." He commented in a whisper.

"Of course I only speak the truth." We ate in a comfortable silence; both of us in deep thought until my phone vibrated in my pocket letting me know it was time to go. I slid off the chair and took our plates to the sink.

"Ready to go wolf boy?" I asked comically. He gave me a half of grin and nodded. My heels clicked as I walked into the living room full of my family, I got mixed reactions about my new look. Dad growled menacingly, mom was crying tearless sobs and uncle Emmett wolf whistled causing me to blush profusely. The rest of them just stood with big smiles on, if I wouldn't have known better I would have thought their faces were going to hurt after this from how big their smiles were. I went and gave them each goodbye hugs.

"Oh baby, you look so grown up, I can't believe you're going to high school!" my mom sobbed into my shoulder when I gave her a hug.

"Mom it's okay!" I said trying to comfort her, but after five minutes I had to go. "Mom I really have to go I can't be late my first day." She nodded into my shoulder and pulled away. I next went to dad who was obviously not happy about my attire but thankfully was biting his tongue about it.

"Have a good day Renesmee we'll see you at three pm." He said trying to keep the anger from seeping into his tone.

"Thanks daddy I love you." I rounded the rest of the group of my family who in turn all told me I looked stunning, beautiful, and gorgeous. My favorite was Uncle Emmett saying I was gonna knock them dead but to suck them dry. All I could do was laugh. I said my final goodbyes linked my arm through Jakes and walked to my Mustang. The drive was weird… Jake seemed to be acting on edge since this morning…must be from the nerves from school. We had small talk about how we thought school was going to be until we pulled up into the parking lot of Oak Hill Academy.

"Well here it is." He said looking at the huge historic looking building.

"Mhm. This is where I'm spending most of my time for the next two years, this should be fun." I commented honestly.

"Yeah, fun…" He snorted. I pulled up to the parent drop off and got out and so did he. He rounded the car and stood there looking at all the nice cars in the parking lot. I tapped his arm and he jumped like a foot in the air.

"You okay?" I asked stifling a giggle.

"Oh…uh yeah. Well I guess this is goodbye?" I bit my lip to hold back tears. Really tears? Why the hell was I crying? I mean we'll be away from each other for what a total of seven hours? He reached out and pulled me into a tight hug, and buried his face in my curls.

"You know this is the longest amount of time that we'll be more than a few rooms away since I moved in?" he whispered into my hair. I put my hand to his cheek to tell him I would miss him because if I opened my mouth to say a verbal good-bye I would probably break down. "I'll miss you too Ness but I have to get going…Seth and Embry are supposed to meet me on campus, but I'll be here at 2:45 to pick you up." I nodded and pulled away. He slipped into the driver's seat, closed the door and handed me my huge coach purse that was my backpack.

"Thanks." Was all I could say.

"2:30." He replied. I turned around and started walking toward the huge courtyard. I could hear him driving off and already I was aching to be near him. As I walked into the building I took in my surroundings. Everyone here looked so put together and rich. When I finally found the front office a plastic looking woman sitting behind the desk greeted me.

"Good morning welcome to Oak Hill prep, how can I help you?" She asked in a lame high pitched voice.

"Uh hi, I'm Renesmee Cullen and I'm a new student here." She looked at me and began typing her perfectly manicured nails away on the key board.

"Okay, found you…Renesmee Cullen, daughter of Carlisle Cullen, moved from forks as a home school student and is starting as a junior. Correct?" She asked in the voice.

"Yes ma'am." I said politely nodding my head. She got up from her chair and walked over to the printer and pulled out two sheets.

"Well dear here you are your class schedule and a map of the campus." She said handing me the papers.

"Thank you. Have a good day." I said looking at the papers. My classes are as follows.

1. Trigonometry

2. AP English

3. Culinary 101

-Lunch-

4. AP Government

5. Human Anatomy

6. Study Hall

7. Art

First class Trigonometry room E103, piece of cake… I was technically too advanced for high school so this was more for experience than for learning. As I walked down the hall I couldn't help but notice that every single person had nothing but name brand on, boy was I glad I changed my attire if not I would have stuck out like a sore thumb. I got to the room, tugged the door open and found a desk towards the back. I slumped down in the chair and pulled my phone out to text Jake when a really pretty black girl with gorgeous tight black curls, full glossy lips, honey colored eyes and amazingly high cheek bones walked in and sat next to me. She was stylish but a different style than the rest of the girls I seen walking down the hall. She had on cute square glasses, a tight red v-neck sweater, jeans and high top fold down coach sneakers on.

"Hi I'm Mackenzie, but you can call me Kenzie or Mac for short." She said holding out her hand. I took it and shook it with a smile.

"Hey I'm Renesmee but you can call me Nessie or Ness for short." I replied happily.

"Whoa I like your name it's really exotic, how'd your parents come up with that?" She asked genuinely interested. Hmm I like this girl, she seems nice.

"Mm it's just a family name." I commented back. I couldn't say it was my Grandma's names put together…because if she ever met the only one I've met than I would be introducing her as my mother.

"Sweet. So I seen you in the parking lot today, with your boy toy and he's totally hot." She exclaimed. Maybe I don't like her so much. She laughed at my face "Hey, hey it's okay I've been with my boyfriend Lance for two and half years now don't worry, he's safe from me."

"Well he's not my boyfriend anyways." I commented trying not to sound pathetic.

"Really? Hmm I would have guessed different, so who is he then? Not a relative hugging you like that."

"I like what?" I asked truly curious.

"Um I have a cousins and brothers and none of them hug me the way you two were hugging." She replied back with a grin.

"Hmm, well he's just a family friend I grew up with him…he's always been around." Just then the bell rang cutting my conversation short. A stumpy little man waddled into the classroom, introduced himself as Mr. Vance and began dictating the rules. I tried to pay attention but I couldn't. I slid my phone out again and shot Jake a text.

_Hey wolf boy –Ness_ a few seconds later my phone buzzed

_Hey Ness how's school goin? –Jake _

_Good…think I might have made a friend –Ness _

_Aww Nessie made her first friend :P –Jake _

_Shut up jerk__ …how's school for you? –Ness _

_I haven't got there yet, I'm driving which reminds me I'm breaking the law so I have to go I'll text you when I get to school –Jake _

_Sure, sure have a good drive :D –Ness_

_Yup have a good class and pay attention! –Jake _I sighed and closed my phone, I looked over to Kenzie who was looking at me with a smirk, I stifled a laughed and turned back to the front and listen to Mr. Vance drone on about algebraic vectors. Finally the bell rang letting me out of this boring prison.

"Texting your 'friend'" Kenzie asked smugly packing her books up.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" I asked.

"Because you got this expression on when you were texting him and then when you stopped it was like the world stopped." She laughed.

"You're very observant." I laughed.

"Yeah that's what everyone says it's a gift." She shrugged. "So what's next on your list?" I pulled out the sheet and looked it over.

"AP English with foster." I replied. She stuck her hand out for the sheet, so I handed it to her.

"Mm we have English together, government, and Human Anatomy." She said looking over my paper.

"Sweet. It will be nice to know somebody in a few of my classes." I replied as we walked out of the class room. We turned the corner and a buff, tan, brown haired, green eyed typical jock looking guy was leaning on the lockers in front of us.

"Hey babe, who's your friend." The boy said nudging his chin I my direction. Kenzie walked over and pecked him on the cheek as he tangled his arm around her waist.

"This is Nessie she's new to Oak Hill." Kenzie answered. The boy stuck out his hand and introduced himself.

"Lancelot Holden of Holden Company, star QB, ruggedly good looks, hottest girl friend around." He said arrogantly. Kenzie slapped his chest and laughed. "Naw I'm just kidding. Names Lance nice to meet you." I laughed

"Nice to meet you too." I said shaking his hand.

"Well I gotta jet babe, got some team stuff to handle." He said pecking her on the lips "Catch you later Nessie." He said turning and weaving in and out of the crowd.

"He seems nice." I stated as we started walking towards English.

"Yeah, he really is a good guy. Most of the guys here are D-bags so stay away…stick to your friend." She commented.

"Thanks for the advice. It would help if my 'friend' felt the same way I do though." I replied glumly.

"What do you mean, he couldn't take his eyes off you as you walked away, and it wasn't like a perverted staring at your ass kind or look, it was like he worships you." she remarked as if it was so obvious. What does she mean? he drove away before I even started walking. We had reached English and I decided to change the subject before I got hope in the impossible. We talked until the bell rang about our families…she has a mom, a dad, and two older brothers. Her dad owns a huge string of restaurants all down the west coast so her family is super loaded, which is why they moved to Oregon when she was ten. She told me it was because her and her older brothers were becoming to materialistic and spoiled so they moved to a more sheltered life style. I told her my planned out story about how my parents died when I was only and infant. And that my brother and I were adopted by our mother's sister whom I was named after and now considered my mom. I told her about how my 'parents' adopted not just us but five other kids, and how we just moved to town because my dad's job transfer. She was speechless by the end of my little tale which was okay because the bell rang. English was uneventful and boring and Jake still didn't text me back…What if he met some girl. I couldn't let my mind go there because I would go insane with thinking about that shit. When we walked out of class Lance was there again with a grin.

"Hello ladies. How was class?" He greeted us. Once again Kenzie went over and pecked him on the cheek.

"Hey babe, Class was boring but oh well. How was your class?" she asked.

"Good, Tayvien was talking about you Nessie." He answered, which shocked the hell out of me. Who the hell knew me I've only been at this school for three hours.

"Who, was talking about me?" I asked stunned.

"Tayvien. Look out for him he's one of those D-bags I was telling you about." Kenzie answered casually.

"How…How does he know me?" I stuttered.

"Well apparently you're the next new it girl." Lance Shrugged. The new it girl, whatever that means.

"Well I've gotta get to my next class but I'll see you at lunch." Kenzie said.

"Sure, sure, see you then." I replied walking the opposite direction. I managed to find the class, and when I walked in I was amazed. There were all elite appliances in different stationed areas and there was every cooking utensil you could ever imagine. I walked to an empty counter and was just about to pull out my phone when I felt the air shift. I looked up and there was a boy next to me leaning on the counters with his elbows and an arrogant smirk plastered across his face. He looked like the all American boy…he had on a pink polo with the collar popped he was wearing light washed jeans and white puma's. He was good looking in a goonish kind of way. He had perfectly disheveled blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, and thin lips.

"Why hello there beautiful." He said in what I'm guessing was supposed to be a seductive voice?

"Uh hi." I replied awkwardly.

"You must be Renesmee Cullen." He commented in the same husky tone. I had to choke back a laugh because he sounded like a damn fool.

"Uh no one calls me that my name is Nessie, and you are…?"

"Octayvien Wellington. But everyone calls me Tayvien." So this is him. But what the hell is with these names? Lancelot, Octayvien…Who next Achilles?

"Well it's nice to meet you." I said hoping he would go away.

"I hear you're new to town…"Oh boy this guy really doesn't beat around the bush.

"Yeah, my family and I just moved here not too long ago." Here it comes.

"That's cool I know how hard it is to be the new guy, I moved here the end of freshman year." He said losing his seductive bravado.

"Really where'd you move from?" I asked really not caring.

"San Francisco, my grandma was sick. She need help 24/7 and she refused to leave good ole Oregon so we had to relocate to help her and now my parents refuse to move back to Cali until me and my baby sister finish school." He said shrugging.

"Was…how's she now?" I asked taking an interest.

"Dead." He said simply.

"Oh uh I'm sorry." I said sympathetically.

"S'okay, she was a pain in the ass anyways, but I did love the old bat." He replied looking off into the distance. I rolled my eyes and went back to thinking this guy was a tool.

"Oh." Was all I said.

"So where'd you move from?" he asked after a few seconds of silence, but before I could get a chance to answer the bell rang.

"Guess you'll have to tell me later, how about over lunch?" He asked with that stupid ass voice again. Yup definitely a tool.

"Love to but I have plans." I replied

"With who gorgeous, I know like everyone in this school." He said like the cocky asshole he was proving himself to be.

"uh Mackenzie and Lance." I replied hesitantly not sure if I really wanted him to know.

"Wow what a coincidence that's who I sit with, see you then." With that he got up and strutted back to his desk up front. The rest of the day was uneventful. I managed to avoid Tayvien by talking to Kenzie and a few girls I had gym and art with but he was a persistent one and managed to talk to me near the end. I got Kenzie's number and we were already planning to catch a movie soon. By the end of the day I was so ready to see Jake…The jackass never texted me back and I was a little hurt. At 2:45 I walked out of the school and all my negative feelings vanished. I saw the greatest sight ever…Jake. He was leaning up against his stunning Range Rover with his arms and ankles crossed looking sexier than ever. My heart started racing and I almost booked it across the parking lot. When he spotted me a huge grin spread across his face and he met me half way and scooped me into a bone crushing hug.

"I missed you so damn much Jake!" I said into his chest.

"Me too, you have no idea." He said from my curls. It felt incredible to be in his arms again it was like I was meant to be here everything just felt right. He let go of me and I scrambled into his car, and told him all about my day.

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**A/N: So? what'd you think i tried to give you more for taking such a long time to update. well Reviews please? **


	9. Chapter 9

**SM owns it all.**

**A/N: sorry for the delay...but i did do 10,000 words? Well i hope you like it and thank you for the reviews they keep me going and help me when i get writers block :) Thank you soooo much for those who are normal reviwers that means a lot...hope you like the chapter here you go.**

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**JPOV**

As Nessie walked away toward school for the first time it felt like my heart was literally being torn from my chest, and with every step she took my heart ached more and more. Ever since this morning when she walked around the damn corner I was on edge. Something was different, I especially knew when she grabbed my hand it felt like an electric jolt was being shot through my whole body making me feel alive for the first time ever in my life. But it couldn't be the imprint because I would know that and I have no idea what the fuck I was feeling now.

I watched her until I couldn't see her anymore and I drove away slowly, saying goodbye to her was the hardest things I've ever had to do. The whole way I couldn't think of anything but Nessie. But this is normal right? I mean she is my imprint…I don't have to be in love with her to think of her right? But then I couldn't help thinking of her in her bathing suit…that was a shocker no doubt. I wasn't expecting that and then when dumbass Embry opened his big ass mouth, I don't know what I felt, but rage was definitely one of them and once again I have no idea why I was so furious...it was just a compliment. I got back to the house and left immediately, not wanting to talk to anyone, just get to school and get the day without Nessie over with. I pulled out of the driveway, gabbed a CD out of the case and popped it in the player hoping blasting music would help me clear my mind. But the minute the first note came pouring from the speakers I knew this wouldn't help. It happened to be one of the mixed tapes Nessie made me the 'love song' mix. The first damn song was _knock you down _by Keri Hilson…really what is the universe trying to tell me? I ejected the disk and settled for the radio and no less than five minutes later my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Nessie, I kept the conversation short I really needed time to see if I could not think of her…I pulled up to school and met up with Embry and Seth. They were at a table leaned against it Embry was watching all the girls walking by with a smug grin on his face and Seth was texting someone which reminded me I told her I would text Nessie back when I got to school.

"So Jake here it is…College." Embry said craning his neck watching a group of girls walk by. I really wish he would just get a serious girl friend, but after his senior year girl friend fucked him up by cheating on him he refused to get into a serious relationship again.

"Yeah college." I said sitting on the table with my feet on the seat and taking out my phone to text back Nessie but before I could two girls walked up.

"Hi didn't we have sociology together last year?" The first girl said directing the question to Embry.

"Uh yeah I believe we did, I'm Embry. Embry Call and these are my boys Jake and Seth." He replied back smoothly. It was crazy how he evolved into this play boy, because he used to be so goofy and awkward. I don't know what the hell got a hold of him, but whatever it was worked because he got mostly any girl he wanted. Both of the girls looked at Seth and I with alluring smirks and waved.

"uh hey." I replied awkwardly looking up from my phone. Seth wasn't even paying attention he was to engrossed in his phone to even notice us.

"Hey I'm Kendra, and this is Ari." The first girl replied again. Kendra and Embry started talking about sociology leaving Ari standing there with that same smirk on. Since Seth wasn't even aware we were here I took initiative of talking first. I set my phone down on the table and got up to shake her hand.

"Sorry I didn't catch your name." I lied.

"That's okay I'm Ari…Jake right?" I nodded and she walked over to the table and sat down with her back to table leaning her arms casually on the table. "So what year are you?"

"Uh freshman." I replied standing there uncomfortablely.

"Really you look in your twenties." She commented.

"Well I'm just about to hit twenty." I lied again. I was technically twenty-two but I stopped counting a long time ago seeing as I didn't really age, but I had to come up with a believable story to tell everyone.

"Wow, you're so young." She answered shocked which didn't surprise me since I looked like I was about twenty three if not twenty four.

"Yeah I guess I am. What year are you?" I asked trying to muster a tone of interest because I really wasn't interested.

"Oh I'm a junior." She said proudly.

"Nice what are you majoring in?" I asked still trying to keep the conversation going; thankfully I only had five more minutes until I had to start making my way to class.

"Business. My daddy is making me take over the family company." She spat distastefully.

"I see you're not a big fan of that?"

"Ha are you kidding? I don't want to be the next CEO of some stupid company that is filled with chauvinistic sexist pigs. If it wasn't for my dumb asshole of a brother fucking up and getting in trouble with the law, his ass would be here majoring in business and I would be majoring in Marine biology." She ranted.

"Wow, uh…I'm sorry?" I replied back not really knowing what to say.

"Oh man, I'm sorry. I have this thing where I can't control what I say when certain nerves are hit." She said laughing. I laughed uneasily at the same time Seth popped up from the table.

"Shit I gotta go!" he exclaimed "I'll meet you back here later guys!" he shot over his shoulder.

"Mmm I think it might be time for me to go too." I said. "Well it was nice talking to you."

"You too, maybe we could do it again sometime?" She asked seductively. It made me cringe just thinking of having to deal with her again…I'm sure she was a nice girl, but I don't think she had just friendship on her mind.

"Uh that would be cool. Maybe we'll run into each other again." I replied avoiding giving an actual answer. "I don't mean to be rude but I really gotta jet."I said grabbing my phone.

"No that's fine I'm sure we'll see each other soon, bye Jake." she said with an edge of smugness.

"Later Em." I said not even waiting for a reply I would probably never get. I walked away towards my class and got there three minutes early. When I got there I climbed up the stairs and took post in a seat near the middle. It felt so weird to be back in a class room after such a long hiatus. My mind strayed back to Ness…but then again I don't think she ever let my thoughts. I dug in my pocket to find my phone so I could text her back but when I pulled it out it wasn't my blackberry, it was some black touch screen phone. Shit! I must have mixed it up with Ari's now I really would have to see her again. Or…maybe it wasn't a mix up. She was probably playing a game and took my phone so I would have to see her again. Damn girl! I pressed a button on the side and the screen illuminated displaying a picture of Ari and some other girl. I searched for the text messages and sent my phone a message.

_Hey this is Jake._

_Oh hi Jake! It seems we switched phones by mistake… :)_

_Are you sure it was a mistake? ;) _I added the stupid smiley face to make it seem like I was happy she did it.

_Maybe… ;P Now we'll have to meet up for sure. _Damn it I knew it!

_Uh when would be good for you? _I sent back quickly

_Well I can at 3 o'clock? _Shit…I have to be there to pick up Ness at 2:30

_I have something to do at 2 o'clock. How's tomorrow same time, same place as today? _I shot back.

_It's a date! :) _Great, I have to see this girl tomorrow…maybe I'll get there a few minutes before class so I can just get my phone and book it. The professor stumbled into the class room with briefcase and an arm full of papers and started lecturing right away. I could already tell this major was going to be an extensive and daunting process, but it would be well worth it. The rest of the day seemed long and drawn out and by 1 o'clock I already had two papers and book work. Damn one day in and I already felt like I was drowning could I handle this? I was so ready to leave this place and see Ness. The throbbing in my chest never went away; it just seemed to get worse. I made my way out of my last class in a hurry to get to my car so I could get the hell out of here. When I got there Embry and Seth were a few spots away looking around for me…I forgot they don't know I stored my Porsche and got the Range Rover.

"Hey guys." I said walking up with my hands stuffed in my pockets.

"Sup Jake." Seth replied. "So how was your first day of college?"

"Long." I replied shortly.

"Yeah and it just gets worse." Embry replied. Seth nodded in agreement.

"Have you even chosen a major Seth?"

"Oh yeah man, I didn't tell you?" he answered excitedly. I shook my head no. "Chemistry. I want to be a forensic scientist. So maybe when we move back to Forks later on I can get a job with the Forks PD."

"Wow Seth that's great." I said genuinely. I was really happy that my pack wasn't stuck like Sam's back in Forks doing nothing. Even Quil was doing great he was two years away from graduating from Washington U with a degree in Mathematics. And Leah, well who knows with her, last I heard she was in Chicago and doing great with her business and her boy friend.

"Yeah, yeah enough with the Bull shit, I got Kendra's number." Embry said cutting off Seth and I.

"Who?" Seth asked confused.

"What are you fucking dumb? Those sexy ass girls we met today."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Seth said trying to think back. I mean his body was there but his mind was on his phone I wonder who he was texting?

"Dude you were right there." Embry shot back like Seth was stupid.

"He wasn't paying attention his head was too busy up his ass on his phone and your head was to far up Kendra's ass for you to notice him ignoring us." I declared. "Who the hell have you been texting anyway?" I asked interested. Seth got anxious and started avoiding our eye contact.

"Dude! What ass are you tappin'?" Embry asked eagerly.

"Shut the hell up Embry. I'm not tapping any 'ass' I met a girl." Seth spat back. It was quiet for a few seconds

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

"She's a girl I met last semester." He answered quietly.

"And you're just telling us about her now why?" I asked.

"I dunno I just don't think you guys have every right into my personal life. You know how hard it was not to think of her when I was phased?"

"Damn you did a good job, so why tell us now?" I questioned.

"Well because I want you guys to meet her I mean we're pretty serious I want to take her back to the rez to meet my mom too." He said excitedly.

"Well how sweet." Embry said bitterly. "But back to those babes I don't know which was hotter Kendra or Ari...what'd you think Jake?" Seth rolled his eyes and went back to texting.

"To be perfectly honest, I didn't even really notice what either of them looked like." I stated.

"What? How could you not have? imprint or not."

I shrugged, "I don't see faces." I answered back simply. I remember having the same conversation with Quil at first beach years ago but I didn't see faces because of Bella…weird to think that far back, back far enough to a time without Nessie. I cringed.

"Whatever man, I've been texting Kendra all day and apparently Ari's really into you."

"Yeah I know, that psychopath took my phone on purpose and now I HAVE to see her tomorrow to get it back." I groaned. This was not going well.

"Can you just be nice to her for my sake? You know how chicks are…their friends have to like your friends, for you to be friends." He sighed.

"No way, I'm not getting caught in the middle of this whole ordeal. I don't wanna mess up things with Ness." I shot back.

"How will that mess things up? You're not even together!" he exclaimed.

"She's already in love with me man. I just can't… I don't wanna have to deal with the repercussions and bull shit."

"Come on Kendra's different, she could be the one." He said in the fakest voice I've ever heard. "I mean I'm not asking you to sleep with the girl…just be nice to her."

"You are so full of shit with that whole 'she could be the one' bit." I said calling him out.

"Yeah, you're right man." He said with a chuckle. "But you have Nessie to go home too, who do I have? No one, I'm alone many a nights in my bed." He said trying to sound pathetic.

"Need I remind you I'm in my bed alone too?" I said back.

"S'not the point, you'll have Nessie when the time comes." He sighed and then I sighed too.

"Speaking of Nessie I really should be going to get her. I'll catch up with you guys later." I said walking to my car.

"Yeah, yeah…think about it, kay Jake?" Embry hollered after me.

"Sure sure." I yelled back. Was I really going to think about it…I guess I would think about thinking about it?

With every mile that flew beneath my tires and brought me closer to her the better my chest felt…oh this was going to get old fast. I pulled smoothly into the parking lot, parked my new baby and got out. I leaned up against the car and waited for Nessie but the whole time I was out there a bunch of girls would walk by giggling and looking at me. Was something wrong with me? Three minutes later I could feel my aching heart mending I looked up and she was there with a smile on her perfect face. A grin spread across my face faster than a wild fire. I met her half way and pulled her into a hug.

"I missed you so damn much Jake." She said into my chest.

"Me too, you have no idea." I said into her curls. It felt amazing to hold her in my arms…This hug felt different, like this morning when she held my hand. It had the same electrifying feeling. What the hell is going on with me? She climbed into the car and started enthusiastically rambling about her day and all I could do was smile like a moron because I missed her so much. Everything about her day seemed better than mine until she said something about some asshole named Tayvien hitting on her.

"Wait, what?" I asked trying not to sound pissed.

"It was nothing, just some arrogant jerk trying to be the first guy to say he went out with the new girl." she shrugged. This is what I was afraid of the most. Her falling for some guy and me having to stand by and watch. But I have to give her a choice. I took a deep breath and tried to comprehend what she was saying but it wasn't coming easy because I was internally freaking out about some guy taking Nessie away.

"Jake, are you gonna answer me or avoid the subject?" she asked with a sigh.

"What was the question?" I asked innocently.

"Were you even paying attention to me?" She asked amused.

"Of course I was. I heard everything."

"What did I just say?" I bit the inside of my cheek. "I asked why you didn't text me back today."

"Oh, well I got my phone mixed up with someone else so I'm gonna have to get it back tomorrow." I replied truthfully.

"Oh okay well, how was your day?" she asked.

"It was long and stressful." I replied simply as I pulled smoothly into my spot in the garage.

"That's all you're gonna give me?" She asked playfully as she hopped out of the car.

"That's it. It was nothing great and I can already tell this major is gonna be hard but I can't say I didn't see that coming." When Nessie opened the door she was already in Bella's arms.

"Oh honey I missed you!" Bella wailed.

"I missed you too mom." Nessie replied muffled by Bella's shoulder.

"So guys tell me all about your day." most of the family minus Doc was propped around the living room doing different activities but they all had their attention on Nessie and I when we came in. I went first and just talked about my work load and then Nessie went, saying generally the same thing she told me. After Nessie got done I needed to excuse myself to get my homework done. As I walked into my room I kicked my shoes off, threw all of my stuff on my bed, went over to my desk, pulled out my books and got started on my shit load of homework. About twenty minutes later there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said from my desk. Nessie came into the room wearing sweats and a tank top that hugged _every _part of her top half. My heart started racing as she walked in. She gave me a funny look and set a plate of pizza and a pop down on my desk that I didn't even notice she had.

"Grandma sent these up she thought you might be hungry, but then again you're always hungry." As if my stomach needed a reminder it let a small rumble. Nessie grinned, grabbed a slice of pizza and went to sit on the bed.

"Thanks." I said taking a bite out of the pizza. It was phenomenal, I knew it was homemade because the only time I got delivery was when Esme was busy or hunting and even then most of the time she found time to make Nessie and I food. I went back to doing my homework and eating.

"Hey Jake you never told me who's phone you got by mistake." She said rolling the phone over in her hand. I could see the light from the phone from the corner of my eye. I looked up and glanced over at Nessie it looked like she had tears in her eyes…oh shit!

"Uh just some girl that knows Embry from last year." I rambled out quickly.

"Oh I see. Well I have my own homework to do so I'll see you at dinner." She muttered as she slid off the bed and made her way to the door. I immediately got up from my chair and caught her by the wrist before she could open the door. And once again the jolt of electricity flared through my body and caught me off guard…was this gonna be a normal thing every time I touch her?

"Ness what's wrong?" I asked even though I knew the answer. She was afraid that I was into this girl.

"Nothing. I told you I have to do homework" She replied still not looking at me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked back not wanting to force it out of her.

"Positive, I'll see you at dinner." I let go of her wrist and she walked out of the room without looking at me once. My heart stated aching as I dropped back into my chair at my desk and rubbed my hands through my hair. I knew this whole phone thing was gonna get me into trouble… I tried to focus back on my homework but I couldn't all I could think about was Nessie. I all of a sudden heard a muffled sniffle and that was when I knew it was time to explain that this girl was no one. I walked to Nessie's door and knocked lightly. I heard another sniffle.

"Ness look can I talk to you?" I asked pathetically through the door.

"I'm fine Jacob, go do your homework." She said with a broken voice. My heart started aching even more.

"You're obviously not fine if you're crying. Can you let me in and I'll explain?" I heard her get off her bed and seconds later the door opened. Her eyes were wet and red around the rims causing my heart to throb even more.

"What do you mean explain?" She whispered staring at the ground.

"I know you're upset about the phone and honestly this girl Embry knows came over and we had small talk I grabbed her phone by mistake and that's it." I stated firmly hoping she believed me. She looked up at me and bit her lip and for some strange reason my heart exploded into a sprint. A small smile started playing around the corners of her mouth and she threw her arms around my waist. This time I was ready for the jolt and I buried my face into her hair. She took one arm from around my waist and put it on my cheek showing me how she was scared I was gonna meet a college girl and forget all about her. I chuckled into her curls and shook my head. She pushed away from me and put her hand on her hips.

"What's so funny Jacob Black?" She said feigning anger.

"No matter how many times I tell you I'm not going anywhere you still seem to doubt me." I replied amused. "And how in the hell do you think I could forget about you?" I said pretending to be the angry one.

"I don't know those girls were really pretty." She shrugged.

"Were they? I hadn't noticed." I replied honestly.

"Sure you didn't." she said rolling her eyes.

"No honestly. I really didn't." I only have eyes for you. I wanted to say that but I knew I couldn't.

"You don't have to lie Jake." she said with a chuckle going over to her bed. I sighed and rolled my eyes this time; I really wish she would believe me.

"Well I'm going to finish my homework." I stated walking out of her room. I went back to doing my homework and I was actually focused until I heard Jason Mraz's _I'm yours _flowing out of Nessie's guitar. She was humming along quietly and it was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. I sat there listening to her soft music until she was done with that song and shifted into the Beatles _I want to hold your hand. _I don't know how long it's been since I heard her play or dance, and I felt like that was my fault seeing as she was always with me. I think the last time I seen her pick up her guitar was on my birthday last year when she played _happy birthday _for me… which reminded me her birthday is Friday. Even though I brought her the car I still wanted to get her something else. I pulled out my laptop and started searching for ballets because I knew she would love to go to one, she used to love dancing too. In two weeks from now there was ballet in Portland, so I pulled my credit card out and booked the tickets. The tickets were three hundred bucks but that didn't even make a dint in my money, hell that thirty thousand dollar car didn't either. Ever since pixie put some of my money I saved into the stock market I had more money than I ever imagined. I really didn't even need to go to school to get my law degree because I was already set for life. But I wanted to do something more with my life. I went back to doing my homework and got done relatively quick thanks to Nessie's playing helping me concentrate even more. Maybe I could get her to do that every night that way she'd get to play more and I would get my homework done faster. The rest of the night passed by and I was exhausted mentally and physically by the end of the night I ready to pass out and that's exactly what I did.

I woke up the next morning to my alarm clock blaring classical music. I fumbled out of bed and opened the bathroom door not even paying attention. Instantly I could feel my cheeks flushing, Nessie was standing red faced in the corner with nothing but a red bra and matching lacy underwear on. I could hear both of our accelerated heart beats and all I did was stand there like a moron.

"Uh Jake I need to get dressed." She whispered. I nodded and stumbled back into my room as soon as that door clicked I started going over my favorite movie _four brothers _in my head. But it was like that image was ingrained in my mind, I couldn't take my mind off of it. Damn it what the hell was going on with me? The Imprint hasn't changed on my side yet I WOULD KNOW, Right? The rest of the morning I was focused on getting out of the house without Edward detecting my thoughts, because that's just what I need…Edward tearing me limb from fucking limb. It didn't help when Nessie came into the kitchen wearing a short jean skirt, a red form fitting tank top and red high heels...She looked so, so grown up. I got out of the house in one piece, so I decided not to push my luck with having to come back home to change out cars so we took my car. Fifteen quite minutes later we pulled up in front of the school, she got out and rounded the car.

"Thanks for the ride." She said quietly.

"Sure no problem." I replied back equally as quiet. We stood there awkwardly for a half a minute until I couldn't take it anymore and I pulled her into a hug. She sighed in contentment which made me feel better to know she needed my touch as much as I needed hers.

"I'll be here at 2:45." She nodded and turned to walk towards the school. Instantaneously my heart began to pulsate painfully. I watched her as she met up with who I assumed to be Kenzie, and I took that as my cue to go. I drove to school slowly so I could time meeting Ari just right, so five minutes before class started I was waltzing up to the table. Kendra was leaned up against a tree with Embry leaned next to her, sweet talking her no doubt because she was laughing at every stupid ass thing that came out of his big ass mouth. Seth had books sprawled out all over the table and was writing intensely, and Ari was sitting anxiously at the table with an eager expression on, she was looking around and as soon as she spotted me a seductive grin spread across her face.

"Hey Jake I thought you we're gonna stand me up." She said with a giggle as I approached her.

"Sorry got bit of a late start today. But here's your phone back." I said getting straight to the point. I shoved my hand out with the phone and she took it letting her hand linger on mine for a little bit. I pulled away first and rubbed my hand on my jeans like a kid rubbing off a sloppy kiss.

"Thank you. I took the liberty of saving my number in your phone hoping you'll use it soon." She said seductively. Yeah I'll be deleting that the first second I can. She held out my phone and I took it quickly avoiding all skin to skin contact.

"Uh sure, I didn't get a chance to save mine in yours but maybe I can some other time? I really gotta run, don't wanna be late for class." I said in a rush.

"That's okay." She said brushing her hand along my arm. My whole body stiffened.

"See you later." I said with a forced chuckle through my teeth. Then I turned on my heels and bolted towards class. It felt great to have my phone back in my hands and the first thing I wanted to do was text Nessie, but I didn't know if I should after this morning and all. She knew I was getting my phone back, if she wanted to talk to me she would text…

A few minutes into my first class my phone buzzed and my heart started beating erratically, but when I pulled it out my heart sank. It was a text from Ari…

_Hey there Jake._ I decided to text back just to be nice…for Embry's sake.

_Hey Ari, What's up? _it seemed like faster than a blink of an eye I got a reply.

_So Kendra and I are having a little get together and I know she already invited Embry seeing as she won't stop talking about him…but anyways I wanted to know if you would come? _Shit.

_Uh, I don't know I already feel like I'm drowning, as it is with my classes and all. _I replied back.

_It's been one day…you don't have to come if you don't wanna :'( _DAMNIT!

_I guess I could make an appearance…_

_YAY! That would be the greatest! Well it's tonight at Kendra and I's place…Embry knows where. See you then :D _I sighed as I put my phone away. Was I gonna regret this? I hope not. The rest of the day went by smoothly and once again I was weighted down by the shit load of homework I had. Pre law was gonna fucking kill me. After all my classes were done I went to find Embry to ream him a new one for backing me into a damn corner if it wasn't for him I would have cut Ari off as soon as I got my phone back. Hell I wouldn't have even talked to her yesterday. He and Seth were leaned on the hood of his Mazda with their phone outs texting, probably Kendra and whatever Seth's girls name is.

"Embry you fucking Douche bag!" I spat at him. Both of them lowered their phones and looked at me.

"What the hell did I do?" He shot back defensively.

"I am currently attending a party with Ari tonight." I said sarcastically.

"I don't see what the problem is there…"

"Well seeing as Nessie already freaked out about me 'mixing' up phones with Ari, I think me being Ari's escort is a bad idea…" I snapped.

"Then don't tell her." He said simply.

"Yeah cause that will end well." I replied rolling my eyes.

"Then tell her. All I know is I need you to be my wing man. I can't go there without you, if I do Kendra will be consoling Ari all night because you're dumb ass flaked out."

"Shut the hell up what happens if Ness and I do end up together? I can't and won't be your wing man then."

"By that time I'll have found someone to replace you." He said with a smirk

"Whatever I have to go get Nessie, I guess we are riding together to this thing?"

"Yeah I'll drive I'll be there to pick you up at eight babe." He said in a girl's voice.

"Hell no I'm driving! I'm not getting stuck at her damn house while you try and get laid, meet at my house and we'll go from there." I said as I turned and walked away.

"Yeah, yeah I'll be there at eight." He shouted after me. I waved my hand in the air to tell him to shut the hell up. I jumped in my car, tossed all my shit in the back seat and sped away towards Nessie. I pulled up fifteen minutes early and climbed out to wait for her like I did yesterday. By the end of the day if felt like I was falling apart without her, but as soon as I saw her beautiful face my whole world was pieced back together. My mind strayed back to her this morning and felt my heart picking up even more speed than before. She walked quickly over to me and threw her arms around my waist.

"Did you get your phone back?" She asked as she walked around the car.

"Yeah why?" I asked as I took her bag and tossed it over the seats.

"Because you never texted me." She said in a hurt tone.

"I'm sorry Ness I didn't know if you wanted me too." I admitted.

"What? Why would I not want you to text me?" she asked offended.

"Because of… well because of what happened this morning." I said keeping my eyes straight ahead.

"So you walked in on me a… uh little underdressed. It's not that big of a deal, nothing that I wouldn't want to talk to you over…is that why you've been distant and quiet today?" she asked with a chuckle.

"Uh yeah I thought you were embarrassed, and mad?"

"Embarrassed…a little. Mad…Not at all. I mean it was no worse seeing me in that bathing suit." She laughed. I exhaled in relief.

"I guess you're right." I said in agreement. "So how was your day?"

"It was good, minus that brute, Tayvien. He wants me to go out with him…but he is so not my type." She said rolling her eyes. I could feel a lump forming in my throat.

"Do I need to take care of him?" I asked jokingly, but I was serious… God knows I am.

"No, I can handle a stupid little high school boy." She scoffed.

"Sure, sure." I guess I should tell her now about this debacle that was happening tonight. "So um I think I need to tell you I'm going out with Embry tonight." She looked at me.

" Okay? Why would you need to tell me, it's just Embry right?" she asked skeptically. I took in a deep breath and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Well we're kinda going to a party." I could see her narrow her eyes at me.

"Okay. You're a free man; I'm not your keeper." Oh Nessie but you are…

"I guess I'll just tell you, the phone girl is gonna be there." I rambled out quickly. She stiffened in her seat and turned to look out the window. It was silent for a few minutes.

"Ness are you mad?" I asked in a small voice.

"No, why would I be mad?" she said in a sweet voice, that I could tell was fake. Shit! I knew this was how it was gonna play out. I pulled into the garage and she hopped quickly out of the range rover and slammed the door. I gripped the steering wheel and banged my head on it a few times. Damn it Embry. The shit I do for him, maybe I should just back out…I whipped my phone out and sent him a text.

_Hey Em._

_Hell No! you can't back out on me now! Ari is really excited for you to come and if you crush her then I'll crush you Jake! _What the fuck how did he know I was backing out?

_How'd you know?_

_Because Jake I know you…you're my best friend. With that being said I need my best friend to be my wingman. Just for tonight come on man I'd do it for you._ I knew he was gonna pull that shit!

_Dude that's not even fair, I will never need you to wingman for me. The one girl I'm gonna want will either want me, or I'm by myself for the rest of my fucking life. It's not the same!_

_Fine! I'll make it up to you some other way!_

_Fuck you. If this causes WWIII between Nessie and I I'm gonna fucking jack your sorry ass up! _I had a feeling I would be jacking Embry up.

_Sure, sure I'll be there at 8._ I closed my phone and grabbed mine and Nessie's bags from the back seat and made my way inside. I went straight to Nessie's room to give her, her bag and try and explain this was nothing. I knocked on the door and expected to have to practically beg for her to let me in but I was wrong. Nessie opened the door and had a blank expression etched across her face.

"Uh hey Ness." I said caught off guard by her actually opening the door.

"Hello Jacob, what can I help you with?" She said formally. So this was how it was gonna be…Formality?

"I think we should talk…" I said getting to the point.

"What about?" she asked indifferently.

"About tonight, it's not a date it's just a party. A stupid college party Embry asked me to go to with him and Ari just happens to be the host." I mumbled out.

"Hm that's fine Jacob. Like I said in the car, I'm not your keeper, or your…girl friend so I have no right to say anything to stop you from going. I'm fine…it's fine." She said in a reserved voice expect for when she stumbled over the word girl friend. I knew she wasn't fine and this whole façade was bull shit.

"Alright Ness if you say so." I sighed.

"Is there anything else I could help you with? If not I'd really like to get started on my homework." I shook my head. "Well thank you for our talk and see you later." I nodded and walked out of her room to do my homework.

It took me like twenty times as long as normal to finish because I couldn't concentrate. I finally finished at seven forty-five and I realized it was almost time for me to go. I didn't really care what I looked like so I just wore what I wore today, Jean shorts, some name brand white t-shirt and my black and white Air Jordan 6 Retro's. Maybe I should wear sweats and look like a slob so Ari would get off my jock…Nah, once Embry seen me he'd just go make me change. Just then a horn blared from the drive way. I stumbled down the stairs and out to meet Embry. He jumped out of the car and shot me a dirty look.

"You're wearing that, isn't that what you were wearing today?" he said disgustedly

"Yeah you're wearing that?" I asked lifting my eyebrows. He had a plain white t-shirt on with a sports jacket over it, jeans and black Nikes.

"I like to look good for the ladies; back to you…are you serious right now?"

"Yes! Now shut the hell up and let's fucking go." I sprinted back inside to grab my keys and to tell someone to tell Nessie I said bye. Luckily I ran into Emmett on the way back down the stairs.

"Hey Em, could you do me a favor?"

"Sup Mutt? Need me to grab you another flea collar from the store?" He asked amused.

"No, just need you to relay a message to Nessie. Surely even you could handle that?" I joked.

"Yeah, yeah what is it? I love you and I want to diddle you?" he laughed. A low growl rumbled in my chest.

"No just tell her bye, and that I should be back by eleven at the latest." I said through my teeth.

"Okie dokie can do doggie." He said with a boisterous laugh. I rolled my eyes and went back outside to meet Embry. He was looking into the garage with a confused look on.

"Where's your Porsche?" he asked as I got to his side.

"Oh I forgot to tell you I stored it and got a Range Rover." I said casually pressing the keyless entry and opening the door. He got in the passenger's side with a disapproving look on, and typed the address into the dash board GPS.

"Dick." He spat as we were pulling out of the garage. My heart started throbbing like it always did when I was away from her.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"You didn't even tell me you got a new car asshole."

"Sorry man I was so busy buying Nessie's car I forgot all about gloating over my new car." I replied smugly.

"You brought Nessie a car?" he asked astonished.

"Yeah, and?"

"What'd you get her?"

"A mustang." I answered casually.

"You brought her a fucking thirty thousand dollar car?" he asked shocked.

"She's my imprint Embry not some random girl on the street." I replied defensively.

"How'd you afford that?"

"I uh saved up some money…" I said trailing off because I was parking my car in a spot in front of an apartment building.

"Well this is it." He said shoving me as we walked up the path. I groaned loudly.

"Look I'm only staying until 10:30" I growled.

"Oh don't seem to happy Jake." he added sarcastically. I groaned again as we reached the door and Embry knocked. With our super hearing we could hear the whole conversation happening on the other side of the door.

'_Oh my gosh they're here!' _I heard Kendra whisper.

'_Ah they are, so you think Jake is into me.' _Ari whispered back. How the hell did they know it was us if this was a party?

'_How many times do I have to tell you sweetie of course.' _Boy she couldn't be more wrong.

'_Okay let's get the door.'_ The door opened a few seconds later and Kendra was standing at the doorway.

"Hey babe." Embry said kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi Embry, hey Jake come on in." Kendra replied giggling. Embry and Kendra walked in first and I followed behind slowly, when I got into the house I stopped in my tracks. There was low music playing, and the only source of light was the candles all around the house.

"Where is everyone?" I choked out

"Well hi to you too Jake." Ari said seductively getting up off the couch and standing in front of me.

"Uh hi…I thought this was a party?" I said narrowing my eyes at her.

"No silly I said this was a get together not a party and the other couples cancelled so it's just us." Oh shit. "Come on sit down." She said pulling me by the hand to the couch. Embry and Kendra didn't waste any time they were in a chair in the corner making out. I sat down started rubbing my legs awkwardly and looked everywhere but at Ari.

"It's okay Jakey relax." She said running her finger from my ear to my chin. I kept twitching away from her but she wouldn't get the hint.

"Don't call me that please." I said quickly.

"Okay, okay. I won't…What do you wanna do?" she said alluringly while still rubbing my ear.

"Uh I'm not sure. What did you have in mind?" I think I know but it's not happening. She started moving her hand down my chest to the collar of my shirt. "How about we talk?" I shot out quickly. She giggled and nodded.

"Okay what about?"

"Family, school, movies, life." I muttered. After two and a half hours of forced conversation about who knows what, I gave up. By this time Embry and Kendra had moved to the room and I was doing all I could to block out everything around me including Ari. I looked at my phone and yawned, thank god I could use school as an excuse.

"Damn it's late." I said pretending to stifle another yawn.

"It's only 10:30 and I'm having an amazing time, but do you want to spice it up a bit?" She said getting up off the couch and stood over me. I looked up at her…What the hell is she doing? She walked directly in front of me and put a leg on either side of me. Okay this here is the last straw. I kept my head, put my hands on her waist and lifted her off me and put her back on the couch.

"Wow you're strong."

"Yeah I am. So I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I only came tonight for Embry…He needed a wing man and I'm him." I said getting off the couch. Her face fell and it was replaced by anger? She got off the couch and got right in my face.

"You mean you've been leading me on this whole time." She spat venomously.

"I've known you for two days…how could I lead you on that fast? I haven't even been paying attention to you." I replied obnoxiously.

"Ugh, get out you asshole." She snapped.

"Gladly." I said bowing with a grin. "Yo Embry I'm out. If you're not at my car in five minutes you can find your own way home." I hollered as I made my way to the front door. I got right outside the door, turned around and stuck my hand out.

"Pleasure was all mine." I grinned as the door swung shut in my face. I chuckled and made my way to my car. About two minutes later Embry was stumbling out of the apartment pulling his shoe on. He flung the door open and he looked livid.

"What the fuck did you do?" he roared as he got in.

"Man, she straddled me." I replied simply

"AND?"

"I'm not gonna have some random ass chick making movies on me, she really couldn't take a hint."

"I swear JAKE! If that ruined my chances with Kendra I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!" He bellowed jabbing his finger in my direction.

"Look I'm sorry but I'm not gonna…"Embry cut me off by putting his hand up. He looked at his phone and a big ass goofy smile spread across his face.

"Kendra?" I asked amused.

"Yeah she said you fucked up Ari pretty bad, but that I don't seem like that kind of guy… we have a lunch date for tomorrow." He replied grinning. The rest of the ride was him telling me about all of the girls he had dates with the rest of the week. He makes me sick. I pulled into the garage and jumped out of my car thankful the night was over.

"Hey thanks man." Embry said as he got in his car.

"Sure, sure…never again." I replied shaking my head.

"See you tomorrow asshole." He replied.

"Later man." I walked inside and straight up to my room cause I was fucking tired. My head hit the pillow and I was out, without even undressing.

The next morning the alarm clock woke me up like usual. I blinked open my eyes and looked at the clock…8:30 shit Ness was late for school. I sprang out of bed and stumbled into the closet pulling on a pair of shorts and a plain white t-shirt and some blue and white Nikes. Something wasn't right my heart was already throbbing. I grabbed all my shit and rushed into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I banged on the bathroom door leading to Nessie's room but there was no answer. Just then Bella came around the corner with a sympathetic expression on.

"What's up Bells, where's Ness?" I said through a mouthful of tooth paste.

"Uh she got a ride from Carlisle." She said slowly. So that was why the throbbing was already here, because she was already gone. I spit and rinsed my mouth before answering again.

"Why?" I asked simply.

"She needs space…" she trailed off.

"Shit this is about last night huh?" I asked already knowing the answer. She nodded.

"She's afraid, that you're going to fall madly in love with this girl and leave her." She said solemnly

"Damn it I keep trying to 'tell' her, without 'telling' her…" I replied feeling dizzy.

"Maybe you should lay back down Jake…you look flushed." I nodded, staggered to my bed and nearly collapsed.

"Jake you know Nessie she'll get over it. She's just trying to distance herself so if you do fall in love with this girl she won't hurt as bad." Bella said soothingly sitting on the edge of the bed. All I could do was nod. I gathered myself and made my way to school for one of the longest days of my life. The whole day was a blur and I have no idea what fuck went on. I caught my assignments and knew that I was gonna have to reread everything we went over today when I got home. I avoided Seth and Embry and decided to go straight home. I pulled up to the house and went inside up to my room to sleep until Nessie got home. At three o'clock my throbbing chest woke me up because it was being mended which meant one thing…She was home! I jumped out of my bed and was about to race down the stairs when I remembered she was mad at me, so I sat there and listened to her downstairs.

'_Mom, Aunt Rose, and Aunt Alice could you help me get ready for a date tonight?' _my heart stopped altogether.

'_You have a date with whom?' _I heard Blondie reply

'_This guy Tayvien from school.' _Nessie replied cheerfully. I thought he wasn't her type? I leaned over the bed and threw up into the trash can. Not the first time that's happened because of something with Ness.

'_Really Ness that's great! When is it?' _Alice asked.

'_Seven you guys will get to meet Tayvien he's coming to get me and we are meeting Kenzie and Lance at a nice restaurant in the city.' _

'_Congrats on your first date Ness.' _I heard Blondie say. This shouldn't be happening!

'_Mom why aren't you saying anything?'_

'_Nothing sweetie, congratulations… my baby is growing up so fast.' _Bella added.

'_Thanks mom, should we start getting ready now?' _Nessie asked eagerly.

'_Never too early to start.' _Pixie answered. My whole body started shaking and I knew I was gonna phase, so I sprinted down the stairs, shot out of the house and into the forest. I kicked my shoes off not a moment too soon, because I was on four paws running as fast as they would take me. I ran for what felt like hours on end with nothing in my head but the green blurs of the trees my paws and the ground. I ran and I ran with no destination until I could feel my chest easing and the smell vampire...My family. I came through the trees and phased back there was some basketball shorts and a t shirt laid out for me. I pulled them on journeyed into the house.

"I don't think you should be here." Edward said as soon as I walked into the kitchen.

"Why not?" I asked simply.

"Because Renesmee has not left for her date yet and I do not want to have to explain how some poor boy was mauled by wolf near our house." He answered.

"I'm fine I can control myself." I said defensively.

"And what may I ask do you call what happened just a few short hours ago…was that what you would call controlling yourself? Because if that is you controlling yourself then we have two total different perceptions of being in control."

"No I wasn't expecting that… that was different… Look I'm staying okay?" I shot back. He sighed defeated.

"Fine but they should be here at any moment and Renesmee is about to make her début." I nodded and walked to the foyer with the rest of the family.

"Now presenting Renesmee Carlie Cullen." Pixes voice rang from the top of the stairs. I could hear Nessie's heels clicking down the hall and then she turned the corner. She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She was wearing a black dress that was tight on the top and plunged down showing off a lot of cleavage and was looser towards the bottom it came right above her knees exposing her thigh. She had black high heeled sandals on with just a bit of makeup and her hair was in a sleek high pony tail. Emmett was wolf whistling, I just stood there marveling at her and I'm pretty sure I could hear Edward growling from somewhere next to me. The doorbell brought me out of my revere. My whole body started shaking and Jasper came to stand by me and I immediately calmed down, not completely but it helped.

"Relax dog we don't want a giant wolf erupting in the middle of the foyer." He said from the side of his mouth. Esme opened the door and some pompous jackass was standing in the door way with a dozen red roses. He pulled one out and gave Esme all of rest.

"For you Madame, you must be the lovely Mrs. Cullen." He said bowing his head.

"I am and Thank you this is much too sweet of you, please come in." Esme replied.

"Nessie you look breath taking." He commented as he looked her over. I could hear Edward let a furious growl slip.

"Thanks Tayvien, you look nice yourself." Nessie answered. Then she went around and introduced this douche bag to everyone.

"This is Jacob." Nessie said avoiding looking at me like she had been since she came down the stairs.

"Another adopted brother?" He asked amazed.

"Uh no, he's a family friend but he's been around since I was born…"She trailed off. I was dying to reach out and touch her, pull her into a hug anything for contact.

"Oh well uh Nice to meet you Jacob."

"Mhmm." I said nodding my head.

"Well we better get going, don't wanna miss our reservations." He said putting his hand on Nessie's back leading her out. I just about dove across the foyer and ripped his fuck arm out of his socket.

"Little Tay just a word of advice, don't try and pull any fast one's or we will all find you and tear you to shreds…but you kiddos have a good time tonight." Emmett added with a grin. Nessie sighed and grabbed the boys hand and pulled him out of the house. Like always my heart started throbbing, I started taking shallow breaths and shaking.

"Jacob dear are you okay?" Esme said soothingly. She came over and placed her hand on my back. Before in the old days her touch probably would have made me phase, but now it was like a mothers touch and it made me feel better. I took in one deep breath and answered.

"Yeah, thanks I think I need to go up stairs and get my head together. I'll be back." she nodded and let me go. I made my way up stairs and the whole way I could help but thinking that should be me taking her on her first date. She might get her first kiss tonight…that should be me too. When I got to my room I flopped down on my bed, and my leg hit the nightstand causing the picture on it to fall over; I sat up and picked up the picture to put it back. It was of Nessie and it was taken about three months ago. She was wearing a simple outfit: her Seahawks hoodie I brought her, jeans and a pair of high top Nikes, all her favorites before she changed her wardrobe. She was standing on the beach in La Push and the sun had made an appearance because her face was pointed to the sky, her eyes closed and a perfect smile was playing around the corners of her beautiful lips. Her arms were fully extended to the side with her palms up, and her gorgeous curls were cascading down her back. It was such an uncomplicated picture but she looked beautiful…This picture had never struck me this way before. Could my feelings for her be changing? No, I would know…wouldn't I? Maybe I've been repressing them…afraid of being rejected again. As that thought went through my head it felt like everything fell into place…all those feelings I couldn't place was because the imprint WAS changing and I wouldn't let it because of fear. My heart almost exploded out of my chest as I realized I love Nessie. I am in love Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I felt like running to tell her that I loved her back the way she loved me, but the pain in my chest reminded me that she was on a date with some other guy…My biggest fear, and that fear had to be put to the test because I had to give her that fucking choice.

I couldn't be alone with my thoughts so I did what I did this morning, I bolted down the stairs and phased just as I got outside and ran and ran and ran. Miles passed under my paws and I suddenly felt the pain in my chest easing…What the fuck? Where am I? I came to the edge of the forest and phased back. I had nothing on but the bracelet Nessie made me for my graduation so I made sure to stay hidden. I peeked out of the trees and realized I was in the city, and I could see Nessie sitting with her back towards me at an outdoor table of a nice restaurant. The asshole was leaned into Nessie with his arm around her pulling her close. She turned around and looked in my direction but I was already shaking again so I tore as fast as I could into the forest and phased. I couldn't get that damn picture out of my mind. Her happy with another guy…It was just like Bella all over again. I pushed my legs even faster and shot through the trees like a cannon. I was running as far and as fast as I could when I realized I would rather be in Nessie's life weather she was with me or happy with someone else. I would sacrifice my happiness for hers just like she would mine, but her happiness was never in question. I wonder since the imprinter has to be whatever the imprintee wants, if she wanted me to be just her friend would I still be capable of happiness? I highly doubt that now that I knew what it was like to be in love with her. I need her like I needed air… My life is in her hands. Without missing so much as a step I turned around and headed back home, running as fast as I could.

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**A/N: Well what do you think let me know :) I love my reviews and readers! Review review review please and thank you! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: MAN! i'm so sorry for the late post...school is a killer. i stayed up to finish this so i hope you like it... :) once again im sorry for the late update. i'm gonna try my hardest to get them out before this! but here's another chapter! you know what will really help? Reviews :). for those of you who do you have no idea what it means to me! ENJOY!**

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**NPOV**

I busted in the door of the house after school and I was pissed to no end. Dad was already warned by my thoughts that I was in no mood to talk. So I made my way in the house and up the stairs with no hello's, I stomped to my room and slammed the door. I wanted to punch Jacob Black in the stomach, that asshole obviously lied to me or he wouldn't be wasting his time with that girl. I thought today was gonna be a good day too. I mean when Jake walked in on me this morning it was the most exhilarating feeling I've ever felt, I didn't know if I wanted him to leave or if I wanted him to keep looking. All I know is he couldn't take his eyes off me and that gave me a rush I've never felt before. The whole morning Jake was quiet so I didn't talk either, come to find out he thought I was mad about this morning. To be honest mad was the furthest thing from my mind...I swear he's so temperamental! School was good except for damn Tayvien. I guess me trying to avoid him at all costs is an invitation for him to try harder...I think maybe the moron thinks I'm playing hard to get. But like I told Jake in the car on that dreaded ride home today, he is so not my type. I think at this point everyone knows my type, tall, muscular, russet skin, short spiky black hair, and beautiful brown eyes that you can get lost in… I have to stop thinking about him that way because obviously he is interested in that stupid ass phone girl and I think it's about time I get over him. But hell that was not going to be an easy task, I'm in love with the jackass, you just don't up and get over someone you've been in love with since you were little. I don't know what the hell to do. But before I could think into it there was a knock. I let my senses range out and I could smell Jake's enticing smell. I'm not gonna let him see me cry over him or throw a fit it will just make me seem like a little girl...the new mature Nessie will answer the door level headed and not blow her top. I walked to the door and opened it calmly.

"Uh hey Ness." Jake said shocked. I assumed it was because I wasn't making him have to convince me to open the damn door. I stood there with a mask etched on my face.

"Hello, Jacob. What can I help you with?" I asked formally.

"I think we should talk..." he tailed off.

"What about?" I asked trying to sound uninterested.

"About tonight, it's not a date it's just a party. A stupid college party Embry asked me to go to with him and Ari just happens to be the host" he rambled out. Was he seriously trying to blame Embry and deny that he was into this girl? Such an idiot I don't know why he cares. I'm the one in love with him...

"Hm that's fine Jacob. Like I said in the car, I'm not your keeper, or your…girl friend so I have no right to say anything to stop you from going. I'm fine…it's fine" I lied. Sure I may be putting on a front now while it's fresh and the anger is pouring off of me, but once I'm alone I already know I'm gonna be a wreck.

"Alright Ness, if you say so." He sighed.

"Is there anything else I could help you with? If not I'd really like to get started on my homework." He shook his head. "Well thank you for our talk and see you later." I ended. He nodded his head and turned to leave. I closed the door after him and started pacing the floor. My emotions were going out of control and I have no idea what I'm feeling. The strongest feeling as of right now is anger, and I was furious. He lied to me that this girl meant nothing...I knew the pain was about to knock the wind out of me and I would soon be crying my eyes out over a guy that's not even mine. I needed something to take my mind off him so I grabbed my I-pod, shoved the earphones in my ears, and cranked my favorite classical album full blast.

Before I knew it, an all too familiar dull ache woke me up alerting me that Jake was gone. Just like I predicted I started sobbing hysterically over Jacob Black into my pillow. A few minutes of me balling my eyes out and there was a light knock on the door.

"Come in." I choked out between sobs. My mom came in the room, straight over to my bed and climbed in. She pulled my head into her lap and just sat there silently rubbing my head while I cried like someone died. I cried until I was drained of all my tears and all of my energy. I'm sure this was going to happen a lot more until I could let go of him. I guess until I can repress even a sliver of these feelings I'm gonna need to distance myself and stay distracted.

"Mom is Grandpa here?" I croaked out while I pulled myself up.

"Mhm, why are you feeling sick?" she asked concerned.

"No, I just wanna ask him if I could have a ride to school tomorrow." I answered. She looked at me questioningly. "I need space from...Jake." just saying his name and I almost broke down again.

"Well your father and I could give you a ride." she stated.

"I know it's just that Grandpa goes into work right around the time I need to go to school, so I could just hitch a ride with him." I replied. That was true, but for one I don't want my dad in my head and two I don't want to talk about it and grandpa just knows when to talk and when not too.

"Okay well he's downstairs in his office if you'd like to ask him." I nodded and stumbled out of bed to the bathroom to clean myself up a bit. When I looked in the mirror I wasn't really surprised. It looked like I got decked in both of my eyes because they were both red and swollen from crying, my hair was matted to my face where the tears streamed into it and I was flushed. All to be expected when you've just lost half your body mass in tears. I splashed some cool water on my face, pulled my hair up into a messy bun and ventured to grandpa's office. When I got there grandpa called for me to come in.

"Hey grandpa I was wondering if I could have a ride to school tomorrow." I whispered out.

"Of course Nessie. We'll leave by seven am to get you to school by 7:15?" he asked in comforting tone.

"Mhm, sounds good. Thanks grandpa."

"Anytime darling, your grandmother has some food downstairs for you if you're hungry." I smiled nodded and walked away down the stairs. I rounded the corner and grandma was just spooning some steak stir fry on my plate.

"Here you are Nessie darling." She said placing the plate in front of me. She came around the bar and kissed my forehead.

"Everything will be okay I promise." she whispered and then walked away. I played with my food in silence and I almost went crazy from my thoughts about Jake and that fucking girl. Just as I was putting my dish in the sink uncle Emmett walked in the kitchen.

"Hey squirt; I have a message for you." He stated. I didn't hear the phone ring...then again I haven't exactly been coherent the past few hours.

"Shoot."

"Jake said bye and he will be home no later than eleven." he spilled out. I stopped breathing and bit my lip.

"Thanks Uncle Em." I said walking past him.

"Sure thing. That's what I'm here for to be a personal answering machine for a mutt." he replied. I couldn't even laugh at his stupid ass joke; I just climbed up the stairs and stopped by Jakes door. I took a deep breath and pushed it open. I went over to his alarm clock and quickly changed the wake up time to eight-thirty, an hour before his class started and an hour after I'm already in school. I couldn't be in here anymore so I shot out of his room and into mine. I went into my closet to find some pajamas and settled on some matching star and moon set from Victoria secrets _pink_. I clambered into bed and the moment my head hit the pillow I was out like a light, exhausted from crying all day.

I woke up in the morning and made a vow to myself that I would not show how miserable I really am for the sake of my family. I went into the closet and found my outfit. A long loose yellow scoop tunic, black leggings, and black flats. I dragged myself to the bathroom, took a long soothing shower, and got out. I let my hair air dry as a got dressed and pulled it out of my face with a yellow ribbon. I added a little light make up and I was done.

It took all I had to walk down the stairs with out saying goodbye to Jake but I had to distance myself if I ever wanted to have a semi-normal relationship with him. I got to the bottom of the stairs and plastered a fake smile on and walked into the kitchen.

"Morning grandma." I said as perky as I could. It must have been to perky because she gave me a weird look as she set my spinach and tomato omelet down at the bar.

"Morning dear, you seem better?" she replied questioningly.

"Much...it's amazing what a good night sleep and a shower can do for you." I answered as I shoved a forkful into my mouth. I was most definitely lying because I think I was slowly dying inside.

"Well that's wonderful dear eat up and grandpa will be down in a few minutes to take you to school." she finished. I nodded and she did her normal; kissed me on the forehead and walked out of the kitchen. As soon as she walked out of the kitchen the smile vanished off my face faster than food with the pack. I picked at my food not having much of an appetite and tossed what was left in the trash. I grabbed my bag, took a deep breath, put the fake ass smile back on and walked into the living room.

"Ready Grandpa?" I asked upon reaching him.

"Sure are honey, do you have everything?" I nodded and started saying goodbye to my family. When I got to my mom she narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. I mean I know my dad and uncle Jazz know I'm miserable for sure, but she can only guess...then again I know my dad is too whipped to keep anything from my mom. But oh well, they can't complain if they can't see it on the outside. I kept the goodbyes short and went out to grandpa's Mercedes. As we pulled away the typical happened, my heart throbbed and I felt incomplete.

"So how's work Grandpa?" I asked as we coasted down the street towards school.

"Same as always, these humans never cease to amaze me with the accidents they can find themselves in." he answered shaking his head "Thank you for asking dear. I feel as if I haven't really talked to you lately."

"I know, so how is it with the whole blood thing, I mean I know you've had years and years and year and years and years of practice, but does it ever get hard?"

"Well as you've mentioned I have had quite a bit of practice, so it doesn't really affect me anymore." he replied with a chuckle. "Enough about me how is school?"

"Well I have really nice friends and I love all my classes." I answered with a shrug.

"That's good are your classes challenging you?" he asked genuinely.

"Not really. I think the hardest is Culinary and that's just because I haven't taken the time out to learn it." He nodded his head.

"I figured that much with all we taught you before High school." he added. We were pulling into the parking lot of the school and I was sad that the ride was over. I forget sometimes how much I admire my grandpa being a vampire and working day in and day out with blood just to save human lives. I am definitely gonna consider walking in grandpa's foot steps with the whole medical career thing.

"Thanks again for the ride grandpa." I said as we pulled into the drop off lane.

"No need to thank me, but I do have a meeting after work today so your grandmother is going to pick you up at 2:30." he said. "I love you dear and have a good day." I nodded and pecked him on the cheek.

"I love you too grandpa and thanks again." the warm smile never left his face as I got out and closed the door. I waved to him as he drove away, inhaled deeply, and made my way to meet Kenzie at my locker. When I got there she was leaned against the locker with Lances arm around her and she was having an animated conversation with Sheylenn a friend from the lunch table.

"Hey guys!" I said with as much fake cheer as I could muster. They all greeted me as I opened my locker.

"You seem happy today?" Kenzie replied.

"Just woke up in a good mood today." I lied with a shrug. God knows that was huge lie, I must be a better actress than I thought if I could fool miss observant. She leaned over closer to me and started whispering.

"It wouldn't happen to be because of a certain somebody named Jake?" she asked lifting her eyebrows up and down. I could feel my fake smile and my heart breaking so I quickly hid my face behind the locker door pretending to look for something, but really I was catching a stray tear that managed to escape. I brushed it away and grabbed all I needed for class and closed the door.

"Nah, still the same old thing, just woke up happy." I said with my fake grin. She shrugged and thankfully changed the subject as we all walked down the hall. The rest of the morning passed painfully slow and I wanted so badly to take out my phone and text Jake but I had to remember...distance. Kenzie, Lance, Tayvien, and I were finally at lunch, but I couldn't eat because I was feeling like shit...mostly because of the situation with Jake, but another part was because I was pretending so hard to be happy and it was wearing on me.

"So Kenzie and I want to do something tonight, anyone in?" Lance asked the table. The other four people that sit with us at lunch... Shaylenn, Matt, Luke, and Holly all had excuses.

"I'm game...what about you Nessie?" Tayvien prodded. I was about to reject him for what felt like for the hundredth time when a thought occurred to me...what a better way to try and get over Jake than to try to like someone else?

"Uh, you know what I'm pretty sure I'm free so why not?" I said casually

"Sweet what should we do?" Kenzie asked. I figured if I was really going to try and get over Jake, we might as well make it as official as possible...

"Is this a date?" I questioned quietly.

"Only if you want it to be..." Tayvien answered back eagerly. I bit my lip and nodded. "Great! I can get reservations at Moretti's in the city." he exclaimed. I looked over to Kenzie and she was giving me a death stare, if looks could kill I would be dead on the spot. Lunch passed with the planning of the damn date tonight, I really didn't want to go, but I needed to try it to see if it would work. All through out lunch I could tell that Kenzie was wondering what was going on in my head, hell even I was wondering. So as soon as we were walking to Government she started bombarding me with questions.

"So what the hell was that? Making a date with Tayvien?" she said Tayviens name like it was the plague.

"Uh I dunno, I mean it's just one date." I shrugged.

"Why would you accept a date from Tayvien of all people? I told you what an asshole he is." she yelped.

"He's sweet to me an..."

"Yeah now! Just wait, once he gets you to fall in love with him he'll think he can control you and then he'll stomp on your heart and leave you bleeding." she wailed after cutting me off. "And what about Jake?" she added quickly. I cringed at his name, and answered slowly.

"I dunno I think it's about time I get over him..." I trailed off. "Really I'll be fine." I wanted to tell her I couldn't possibly be in anymore pain than I already was.

"If you say so Ness, he's made his way through all of the junior girls and half the sophomores." she sighed. Oh well maybe if he's as smooth as everyone's claming he can swoon me and help take my mind of Jake. We got to class and I suffered through that class and the rest of the day, time felt like it was at a stand still, but it was finally over. I met Kenzie at our normal place; my locker.

"So what are you gonna wear tonight?" Kenzie gushed as we walked out to the parking lot. "I have no idea what I'll wear but I know it has to be formal." she added tapping her chin.

"I dunno I'll probably get my sisters to dress me. Being the youngest I've always been their dress up doll." I said rolling my eyes.

"I wish I had older sisters to dress me I really could have used one growing up, I was such a tom boy." she sighed.

"I just recently changed my wardrobe... when I was little I loved dressing up, but then I started hanging out with a pack of...guys and then fashion for me was Nikes, jeans and t-shirts." I laughed at the truth of it all and how I almost said wolfs, that would be a fun one to explain.

"I changed during the summer leading up to freshman year that was how I got Lance to notice me."

"Really?" I asked genuinely shocked that I wasn't the only one who changed their appearance to get a guy to notice them.

"Mhm, my brother Kyle was in the football program here and they do this thing where they have take an upcoming freshman and mentor them, and obviously Kyle got Lance which meant that he came around a lot and I was in love with him for the longest. I would toss the ball with them and horse around, so Lance only really looked at me as one of the guys. So I totally changed my wardrobe and started acting like a 'lady' and all of a sudden he asked me out. My brother freaked out but he got over it and here we are almost two and a half years later." she said reminiscing. How come it worked for her but not me? The only thing Jake did after I changed was act like he was on his period with his mood swings. By the time she finished her story, we were out side and Grandma was in her champagne colored Lexus LS10. I said my goodbyes to Kenzie and got in the car.

"Hey Grandma, thanks for picking me up today." I said as I slid into the passenger's side.

"Of course dear, how was school?" she said smoothly pulling out onto the main road. I told her about my day and how I had a date with Tayvien, she was glad I was making friends and was a little disbelieving that I was going on date...which confused me why wouldn't I? I am a sixteen year old girl isn't this about the time that normal human girls start dating? I went in the house miserable but made sure not to show it. As soon as I walked in I went to talk to my Aunts and my mom right away thankfully they were all in the living room.

"Mom, Aunt Rose, and Aunt Alice could you help me get ready for a date tonight?" I asked happily. I don't think anyone but my dad and uncle Jasper knows just how depressed I am.

"You have a date with whom?" Aunt Rosalie asked slyly.

"This guy Tayvien from school." I was wincing inside. I couldn't help but think that this should be Jake taking me on my first date.

"Really Ness that's great! When is it?" Aunt Alice asked.

"Seven, you guys will get to meet Tayvien he's coming to get me and we are meeting Kenzie and Lance at a nice restaurant in the city." I answered back.

"Congrats on your first date Ness." Aunt Rose said enthusiastically. My mom was quiet through the whole conversation so I had to ask her why.

"Mom why aren't you saying anything?"

"Nothing sweetie, congratulations… my baby is growing up so fast." I could tell something was wrong; it was probably because she knew from dad that I really didn't want to go on this damn date. Why can't my life just be uncomplicated?

"Thanks mom, should we start getting ready now?" I asked faking to be excited.

"Never too early to start." Aunt Alice said popping up from her place on the floor. All of a sudden I heard what sounded like running and then the back door being opened. I knew it was Jake because my heart that was finally beating normally once I came inside, started beating unevenly when he went out that door. What the hell was his problem? I couldn't worry about that now because I was being forced to try on dress after dress.

"So where are you guys going anyways?" Aunt Rose asked handing me a purple cocktail dress.

"Uh I don't know some really nice restaurant in the city." I said as I looked at myself in the mirror. I shook my head and pulled it off.

"I could have told you if you weren't a blind spot. Damn you and your hybirdness." Aunt Alice added bitterly. I tried on seven more dresses until I stepped into a black Vera Wang dress that gave me more cleavage then I even thought possible. It stopped right above my thighs and even with my modesty my body looked phenomenal in the dress. I topped the look off with black Christian Louboutin gladiator heels and my mom's necklace. I still had on Jake's bracelet and I would never take it off no matter what happens because he is still my best friend and he always will be. Next was my hair, we were debating on pulling it up in a pony tail or leaving it down. We eventually decided on a sleek pony tail and added a little make up.

"Oh Ness you look so beautiful!" Aunt Rose exclaimed after I was done.

"You look so grown up." Mom commented with big doe eyes alerting me that tearless sobs were right around the corner.

"You're perfect! This Tayvien is a lucky guy." Aunt Alice added as she coated my lips with a thin layer of strawberry lip gloss. "Well it's time to go it's just about seven." I could feel my heart mending itself which caught me by surprise because I was preparing myself for Jake not to be here when Tayvien came. I heard Aunt Alice say my cue so I walked around the corner. I felt weird being presented like this. Uncle Em was whistling, dad was growling, and I had no idea what Jake was doing because I made sure to avoid looking at him. Just as I reached the bottom of the stairs the doorbell rang. Grandma opened the door and there in the doorway was Tayvien with a dozen red roses.

"For you Madame, you must be the lovely Mrs. Cullen." He said handing Grandma all the roses but one and bowed his head.

"I am and Thank you this is much too sweet of you, please come in." grandma replied. Boy Tayvien was trying way too hard.

"Nessie you look breath taking." He commented as his eyes roamed my body uncomfortably. I heard my dad growl, probably because of Tayvien's thoughts.

"Thanks Tayvien, you look nice yourself." I answered hesitantly. To be honest he looked plain in his white button up, black slacks and loafers. Then I introduced Tayvien to my 'father and all my brothers and sisters'. When I got to Jake I didn't even look at him because I knew I would want to hug him and make things go back to normal.

"This is Jacob." I said quietly

"Another adopted brother?" Tayvien asked astonished.

"Uh no, he's a family friend but he's been around since I was born…" I said stopping because I would probably break down if I went on.

"Oh well uh Nice to meet you Jacob." all Jake did was nod his head. I honestly don't know what his problem is. This should be a good thing for him getting the little girl who's in love with him out of his hair. Whatever.

"Well we better get going, don't wanna miss our reservations." Tayvien said putting his hand on my back which made me extremely uncomfortable. Just before we got out the door uncle Emmett cleared his throat, causing us to stop.

"Little Tay just a word of advice, don't try and pull any fast one's or we will all find you and tear you to shreds…but you kiddos have a good time tonight." I figured I wasn't gonna make it out of the house without a smart ass comment from someone so all I could do was sigh. I grabbed Tayviens hand and pulled him outside. His hand felt all wrong, they were small and clammy, but maybe it felt wrong because I was so used to Jake's big, warm, strong hands. I could immediately start to feel the pull. But I shook it off and slid into Tayviens Cadillac. He handed me the rose and pulled smoothly out of the drive way and we were off.

"I like your brother he's a funny guy." Tayvien commented as we drifted to the city.

"Which one?" I asked already knowing who.

"The big burly looking one, Emmett was it? That last comment was a riot!" he said with a chuckle, but what he didn't know was Uncle Em was being one-hundred percent serious. I chuckled with him. But my chuckle was at the thought of Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper tearing Tayvien apart. That was really bad I shouldn't be thinking about my date like this.

"Yeah he's fucking Hilarious." I added. It was quiet as I looked out the window and watched as each tree became blurs of the past. All I could think about was how this should be Jake next to me.

"So that Jake guy, he's uh pretty intense ey?" Tayvien commented after a minute or so.

"What do you mean?" I shot back defensively.

"Whoa, I just meant he wasn't too happy about this." he said backtracking. "And the way he was staring at you...does he like you more than you like him?" why does everyone see this look? I've never seen it, if I did it would probably give me hope and then I wouldn't be on this stupid ass date.

"No not at all. We're just...best friends." I answered back fiddling with the hem of my dress.

"Oh okay good because I hate having competition. I would hate to have to blow this guy out of the water." he snorted. I rolled my eyes; he had no chance in hell up against Jake. He slithered his hand across the counsel, slid his hand under my hand, and intertwined our fingers. I couldn't help but look at our hands together with disgust. This was so not working. I took a deep breath and tried to imagine myself kissing Tayvien, but in my mind when he pulled back it was Jake's beautiful face. I might as well accept now that dating isn't going to help. To be honest I had no idea what would help. I remember one day when I was little, I was climbing a tree waiting to see if I could see Jake when he came home from school and I fell out of the tree. I had my first really bad cut where I was bleeding so I ran into the house and into my grandma's arms crying hysterically. She took me in the bathroom and put me on the counter so she could clean it. After she was done she put a _SpongeBob_ Band-Aid on, kissed me on the forehead, and said 'time heals all wounds, ones you can see and ones you can't' I don't think I ever thought clearly about what she meant but now I understood. To be honest I don't think even time could heal this one. All of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my chest and my heart started to pound even harder than before and more unevenly. I ripped my hand out of Tayvien's and buckled over from the pain. I started taking deep breaths trying not to panic. What the fuck is going on with me?

"Nessie are you okay?" Tayvien asked concerned taking quick glances at me.

"Yeah I'm fine." I lied...It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. Was I having a heart attack? Is that even possible for a half vampire?

"Are you sure I could take you home?"

"No, no I just got a sharp pain...must be a cramp or something, just keep going I'll be fine." I muttered from my lap. After a few minutes I pulled myself together and sat up. The pain in my chest was still there but the initial shock of the hit had worn off and it was just in time because we were pulling up in front of a beautiful little Italian restaurant. It was so cozy with its little cafe like porch and its wonderful Italian aroma floating through the air. I opened the door and met Tayvien at the front of the car. Without delay he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers I gritted my teeth and bared it as he pulled us to Kenzie and Lance.

Kenzie looked stunning in a beautiful pink silk dress. The dress went right above her knees, it had a rhinestone ring in the middle of her cleavage that had two straps that went up and tied around her neck. The breast line was bunched and the rest cascaded down her lean body. Her look was completed with satin silver peep toed marc Jacobs and her hair was straight and flowed down to the middle of her back in loose curls. And Lance looked dashing in a sports jacket with a pale blue button shirt, nice black dress pants, and sleek dress shoes.

"Nessie!" Kenzie squealed running up to me and pulling me into a hug. "You look amazing!" Tayvien let my hand go and started talking to Lance about an upcoming football game.

"Thanks! You look absolutely incredible!" I said pulling back.

"Thanks, so how was the ride?" she whispered as we walked towards the door.

"Weird. I got this like pain in my chest; I thought I was having a heart attack." I said with a laugh.

"A heart attack don't you think that's a bit dramatic? You seem okay now right?" she asked amused.

"Yeah I'm fine it was just so sudden that it took me by surprise." I replied.

"So other than that the ride was okay?" I nodded my head as we reached the podium.

"Wellington party of four." Tayvien said arrogantly.

"Uh yes Mr. Wellington, we have your table outside like you asked." the tiny hostess squeaked. "It's ready now if you'd like to follow me." Tayvien nodded and grabbed my hand and pulled me after the small girl. We reached a quaint little table right under the speaker that was streaming out sweet Italian music. I sat down next to Tayvien and across from Kenzie.

"This place is really nice Tayvien." I commented as I took in the surroundings.

"The food here is to die for." Kenzie said from behind her menu. I looked over the menu and decided on fresh tomato pasta and gave my order to the waiter when the time came. While we were waiting for our food Tayvien kept putting his hand on my thigh and it was making me super uncomfortable. I had to continually brush his hand off while I gritted my teeth irritably. He finally took the hint, but only to throw his arm over my shoulder and pull me close. He was whispering some non-sense into my ear when my heart started healing. The only way it does that is when I'm with Jake, so I casually looked around not paying one spec of attention to Tayvien who was still obnoxiously whispering into my ear. When I couldn't see Jake anywhere in front or next to me I spun around to the forest but I couldn't see anything there either...and then it happened again my heart started bleeding. Hmm that was weird.

"Ness are you okay?" Kenzie asked worriedly. I snapped out of my daze and nodded.

"Yeah I just thought I heard someone call my name." I replied nonchalantly. Our waiter then walked out of the door with four plates and set them on the table. I pushed Tayvien away and started eating the magnificent food. It was some of the best Italian food I've ever tasted next to Grandma's. I would have to ask my family if we could take a trip to Italy so I could try authentic Italian food. After we were done eating Tayvien and Lance paid like gentlemen and it was finally the end of this waste of time. I gave Kenzie a hug goodbye and gave my regards to Lance and then was pulled to Tayviens car. I opened my door and glided into the seat and pulled my door closed.

"So I had an amazing time with you tonight Nessie." Tayvien said huskily.

"Uh thanks it was fun wasn't it?" I did have a goodtime, but I would have had a better time if Tayvien wasn't here and Jake was in his spot.

"We should do it again, but just the two of us." I bit my lip and didn't know what to say. I did what I wanted to do, and that was to see if some other guy could take my mind off Jake but the stupid ass plan failed miserably. I didn't want to use him anymore than I already had so what should I say?

"Uh well..." just then Tayviens phone started playing some freaky music and I exhaled in relief…saved by the bell. He pulled the phone out of his pocket and held up his finger.

"One second doll face I have to take this." I put a sarcastic grin on my face and nodded. I tuned him out as he blabbed to who the hell knows on his phone and stared out the window and thought about who else but Jake. When we finally pulled up in front of my house I was ecstatic I was done pretending to like him, now I just had to pretend I was happy. Tayvien finally ended the call and got out to walk me to the door.

"I'm sorry about the phone it was a business call."

"S'okay I was thinking." I shrugged

"I have been too, and I'd like to ask you to be my girl friend." all of a sudden he grabbed my waist to pull me closer for a kiss when the door exploded open and almost flew off the hinges. Jake was standing in the door way with his teeth clenched, his hands in fists and his whole body was trembling so hard I could feel the vibrations through the floor. Tayvien dropped his hands immediately and took three steps away from me.

"Jake what hell?" I spat. Even though I was so thankful he did break up that possible disaster.

"Nessie I need to talk to you right away in the living room." he seethed through his teeth.

"Fine..." I snapped back narrowing my eyes at him. "Tayvien I'm really sorry, maybe we should talk tomorrow." I said turning to face him.

"Uh sure Nessie, have a good night?"

"I'm sorry, you too." I turned towards Jake, shot him malicious look and walked past him. Damnit! I wanted to wrap my arms around him so bad. My heart felt complete being so close to him but it was different than before and I couldn't put my finger on it. I heard the door close as I walked into the living room. Embry was sitting on the couch with a bloody tattered shirt and what looked like a healing black eye. I kicked off my heels, sprinted over to him and pulled up his face to get a better look at him.

"Holy shit what happened to you? Are you okay?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah, Yeah I'm fine. Just got into a little rumble with a wolf." he said yanking his face out of my hands. I spun around and looked at Jake who had a stupid ass smirk on his gorgeous face.

"What the fuck did you do him?" I asked angrily.

"He got what was coming. I told him it would happen." he answered smugly.

"What would happen that would cause you to kick his ass?" I questioned looking back and forth between them.

"Care to explain Embry?" Jake responded casually.

"Well you see Ness, the other day I met a girl and this girl happened to have a friend and this friend was into Jake...so to get in good with the girl I liked I asked Jake to be my wing man and to be nice to the girl's friend. So he went with me to a party… and ended up ruining it might I add, because he fucking blew off the girl she threw him out and seeing as he was my ride, my night was over too." Embry rambled out. I looked at Jake.

"So you were telling the truth?" I asked slowly.

"Yes I told you I would never lie to you and so far I've kept my word, that crazy girl means nothing." he replied imploringly. My body was aching to touch him, but that still didn't solve my problem...what happens when the next girl comes around? Fuck it I had to be near him... we'll cross that bridge when it comes to it. I closed the distance in a tenth of a second and wrapped my arms around his waist. He put his cheek on top of my head since my hair was in a pony tail.

"I'm sorry I overreact over everything." I mumbled into his muscular chest.

"It's okay Ness, but you really have to start trusting me…it can only be better for both of us." He answered back. I nodded into his chest, but that still doesn't explain why he beat the shit out of Embry, and why he was so pissed about Tayvien.

"I will start believing you I promise." And I would because he's never lied to me; I just always let my emotions get in the way.

"I know I'm damn near indestructible, but you Renesmee Cullen are gonna kill me."

"So I'm gonna head out I have some stuff planned with Kendra." Embry said coming to give me a hug.

"Hmm could she really be the one?" Jake asked smugly.

"Whatever man I'll catch you in school tomorrow." Embry said as he walked to the front door.

"So how was your date?" Jake asked with disgust. I left his side and skipped to the couch. I was so happy now my heart wanted to explode.

"I dunno, I'm not really into him. I just wanted to give it a try…dating a human boy I mean. This one didn't work, but now that I think about it I don't really even notice other guys." I answered with a shrug. I looked over at Jake he was trying to fight back a smile. Then I remembered I had a few questions for him.

"Mr. Black what the hell is your problem?" I asked amused.

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"Don't play dumb with me; you can't control your anger now or something? You beat the shit out of Embry and then you nearly ripped the door of its hinges…what is your problem?"

"You make me do crazy things." He said with a shrug. He came over to me and sat down. He flung his arm over my shoulders and I nuzzled into side forgetting all about what we were talking about. I was ecstatic to know that Jake wasn't falling for this girl. Just then Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett walked around the corner with a grin.

"Are you two done? I can't handle the emotions you guys feel when you're not talking." Uncle Jasper said leaning against the door frame. I smiled guiltily and then cuddled closer into Jake.

"Oh don't try and hide behind the big bad wolf." Uncle Emmett grinned walking to the game room. Aunt Alice bounced into the room, pecking uncle Jasper on the cheek as she passed him. She pranced over to the couch, gracefully jumped on to it next to me and crossed her legs.

"So how was your date?" she asked excitedly. I wanted to tell her everything so I put my hand on her cheek and projected the whole date. Jake looked at me questioningly and I just rolled my eyes letting him know it wasn't anything important. After I was done and Aunt Alice's eyes refocused she grinned.

"So I see. Well I can't wait to get you ready for your next date." She commented.

"Whoa what you have another date with that guy? I thought you said you weren't interested?" Jake spewed out anxiously.

"Relax Jake, I didn't necessarily mean with Tayvien…" she said trailing off. "It could be anyone." She added smugly. Oh boy what was going on in that over reactant head of hers?

"Oh." Was all Jake answered…was I missing something. Just then my mom and dad walked around the corner.

"How was your night Renesmee?" Dad asked.

"Like you don't know, and I'm sure you told mom." I answered amused.

"Your right, actually we would like to tell you that the whole Family but Jake is going hunting tomorrow afternoon up near Canada and we won't be back until after you go to school Friday." Dad said.

"Really, why?" I asked perplexed.

"Because we all need to hunt, and why not go as a family when we all can." Mom answered back.

"So am I not apart of the family anymore?" I asked a little hurt. My mom scoffed.

"Of course you are honey but you only hunt once a month and we can't wait that long. Another reason is you have school." Mom declared. I guess she was right, and that did mean alone time with Jake.

"Oh and you can invite Embry and Seth over as well." My dad added quickly.

"Sure, sure." I said as I rolled my eyes. "But I'm beat and like you said I do have school so I'm gonna get ready for bed." My parents nodded as I got off the couch. I didn't wanna leave Jakes side but I would have a whole night with him to myself no interruptions. I gave my entire family hugs goodnight minus Jake because he was going to walk me up the stairs to my room.

"You know, I really miss you when you give me the cold shoulder." Jake said grabbing my as we went up the stairs.

"I know, you said it perfectly tonight…you make me do crazy things." I don't know why I drove him to do crazy things but I know I did…because I love him. He laughed as we stopped in front of my bedroom door.

"Well at least tonight I'll be able to get a goodnight sleep." He added with a grin.

"Stop trying to make me feel guilty I know I'm an idiot." I said looking down. He swooped down and picked me up into a bone crushing hug.

"You're not an idiot, just stubborn." He said with a laugh. He set me back on my feet and did something he's never done before… he kissed me on the cheek. I could instantly feel all the blood rushing up to my cheeks as he pulled back.

"Goodnight Nessie." He said and turned and walked away. I stumbled into my room in a daze and lifted my hand to my cheek where his soft lips just touched, there was still an electrified tingling running through my body but my cheek was the source. I snapped myself out my hypnotic state and went to get undressed. I pulled the hair tie out of my hair and let my curls flow free and pulled on a camisole and boy shorts. I got into bed and laid there for a few minutes. I need Jake…so I got right back out of bed and journeyed to Jakes room. I stopped in front of the door contemplating if I should do this…What the hell? I knocked lightly on the door and it opened seconds later. Jake was standing in the doorway with just basketball shorts and socks on. I stood there like an idiot and marveled at him for a few seconds.

"Hey Ness, What's up?" He asked after I didn't talk.

"Could you come and stay with me until I fall asleep?" I asked in a whisper. After a few seconds of though he nodded and held up his finger. I nodded back and walked quietly back to my room. I left the door open and hopped into my bed. No less than five minutes later Jake was crawling into my room. I grabbed a pillow to muffle my laugh as he sprang onto the bed. I looked at him and realized he must have been putting a shirt on because now he was wearing a plain white t-shirt. He climbed up next to me and wrapped his warm arm around me, sending the electric current through my whole body. I snuggled up to him and laid my head on his chest. I sighed in contentment as his heartbeat sang me to sleep like a lullaby.

"So I have a question for you." Jake whispered after a few minutes.

"Hmm?" I grunted.

"Can you play your guitar for me when I do my homework?" he asked lower than a whisper.

"Why?" I mumbled out.

"Because it helps me concentrate, the other day when you were playing it I was so focused I got my homework done in no time." I nodded into his warm body and then I was out.

In the morning when my alarm clock woke me up I was alone and cold. I rolled out of bed and into jumped in the shower to wake me up. I wonder when Jake left last night I was sleeping so good after such shitty nights sleep that I didn't even wake up when he left. I got out of the shower and went to my closet to get dressed. I was really happy today so I picked out a pink baby doll dress with a black sash and black Gucci peep toe heels with a hot pink bow. I pulled my hair half up and let the bottom flow down. All I did for makeup was mascara and lip gloss and I was ready. I bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen. Jake was sitting at the bar with a big smile on. He got up and opened his arms for a hug which I gladly accepted. I wound my arms around his waist as he buried his face in my hair and we sat there for a few minutes. We finally let go when we heard a throat clearing from behind us. Jacob dropped his hands from around me faster than if I was on fire.

"Uh hi Edward." Jake muttered awkwardly. My dad looked at him like he wanted to tear him to shreds and looked at me. He took a deep breath to compose himself and spoke low and intensely.

"Renesmee there's a change in plans we are going to leave earlier today so we won't be here when you get home today, but we'll still be here when you get home from school tomorrow." I wanted to ask why, but to be perfectly honest I didn't care why. Something changed with Jake and he seemed to want to spend time with me too. I could see my dad's whole body tense. I better stop thinking like that before he tears me to shreds.

"Okay well after I eat we'll come say bye to everyone." He nodded his head and walked out of the kitchen. What the hell is his problem we were only hugging and he knows Jakes feelings are strictly platonic. Jake and I ate our eggs benedict and talked about what we were gonna do while the family was away. It was mostly homework and movies but Jake was thinking of inviting the guys over for a BBQ. I was okay with that but I really wanted alone time with him and I didn't wanna say that so I just agreed with everything.

When we were done we cleaned up and went to say goodbye to our family. I walked into the living room and they were all ready to leave. Everyone was generally the same…they love me, behave, be safe, but dads and Uncle Emmett's was weird. Dad was edgy and told me that he would know if anything happened and Uncle Emmett said to stay away from his room and the couches because those were his favorite places in the house, and for some reason that resulted in Aunt Rose smacking him in his head. I laughed and left the house for school on cloud nine. The ride was comfortable but the goodbye was excruciating. When I let go of him to go into the school is was more painful then it had been the first time. I have no idea why…maybe it's because I know I love him and only him and no matter what I do it will never change? Whatever the case I felt like I wanted to break down and cry when I was walking away, the only thing that kept me in one piece was that I knew he would be here at 2:30 to pick me up. I took a deep breath and walked into school to meet Kenzie, she of course was at her regular place by my locker with Lance and Tayvien… shit! I totally forgot about last night and where we left off at. As soon as he seen me a seductive grin spread across his face and he strutted over to me.

"Nessie, baby." He said as he pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the cheek.

"Uh hey Tayvien." I replied awkwardly putting distance between us. How was I supposed to do this with out hurting his feelings…?

"So we need to talk right babe?" he asked alluringly.

"uh yeah we do, how about at lunch?" I answered back uncomfortably.

"Sure thing sweetness." I rolled my eyes as I walked up to Kenzie and Lance.

"Hey guys!" I said cheerfully, thankfully today it was genuine. They both greeted me.

"Happy again today?" Kenzie asked with a smile.

"Yup sure am." I replied with an even bigger smile. She laughed and shook her head.

"It's because of our date last night huh." Tayvien stated cockily. I looked at Kenzie and gave a small head shake and a face letting her know that wasn't why. She lifted one eyebrow and nodded her head letting me know that she understood we would talk about it in Trig.

"Mmm" was all I could say in reaction to Tayviens comment. The bell rang and alerted us it was time for class. Tayvien came and hugged me again; all I could do was accept it and pull away early until I explain I just wanted to be friends. Kenzie, Lance and I went the opposite way of Tayvien and I started blabbing the minute he was out of ear shot.

"What did he say this morning?" I asked

"That he had a great night and he wants to make you his next girl friend." Lance answered. For some reason I don't think it's his feelings I need to worry about hurting, but more so his pride.

"Well?" Kenzie asked "did you have a great night?"

"No, all I could think about was Jake, and the only reason why I went out with him was to see if I could get over Jake."

"Who's Jake?" Lance asked.

"You didn't tell him?" I asked astonished, she shook her head. I thought all high school girls had huge mouths? See this is why I like Kenzie.

"Well Jake is my best friend that I've been in love with since I was little but he doesn't like me that way." I rambled

"Oh, I see." Lance replied.

"Yeah so now I have to tell Tayvien I don't like him but I don't wanna hurt his feelings."

"He deserves to be the one being dumped. It will do him good to get a taste of his own medicine." Kenzie Scoffed. Lance just rolled his eyes and sighed. We had just reached the class so I walked in while Kenzie said bye to Lance. I sat down in my seat and waited for her to come in. She bounced in the room and down the isle and her straight hair swayed back and fourth.

"What's up with Lance does he not care the way Tayvien treats girls?" I said as she sat down.

"I think it bothers him but Tayvien is his cousin, so it bothers him when I say stuff about him." She answered back rolling her eyes. "I'm surprised you couldn't tell by the names, they are family names. Lance's dad and Tayvien's Mom are brother and sister they come from old money and anyway she married into money." She added. I knew something was weird with the names.

"Hm weird… Lance is so nice and Tayvien, well he's just arrogant." I said.

"Yeah, he's a jackass. So when you tell him today drop him off the cliff." She said with a smug grin. I laughed and pulled out my phone because it was vibrating.

_Hey Ness –Jake _he was finally texting me.

_Hey wolfy how's it hangin'- Ness_

_Good, I have a question for you and be honest.- Jake_

_Okay…-Ness_

_Do you want Seth and Embry to come over tonight? –Jake _how do I word this with out sounding like I wanna seduce him?

_Uh I don't care…-Ness_

_Well I'm not gonna invite them because I feel like I never get to just talk to you with out anyone listening or someone in our heads. - Jake _well I guess that's one way to get alone time. My happiness meter just shot through the roof. I was so happy I think I was literally bouncing up in down in my seat.

"Nessie do you need to use the restroom?" Mr. Vance asked from the front of the room. What the fuck when did class start?

"Uh no." I answered back embarrassed.

"Well then could you kindly stop bouncing in your seat?" He said crossly. The whole class started cracking up and I just slunk into my seat. The rest of the morning flew by and then it was lunch time…time to tell Tayvien I don't want to be his girlfriend. Kenzie, Lance and I walked into the lunch room and over to the table. I didn't even sit I signaled for Tayvien to follow me which he did eagerly. I walked out into the court yard and turned around to face him.

"So, did you think about what I asked last night?" He said right off the bat. I nodded and avoided his eyes.

"Yeah I did, but I can't…" I said quietly.

"Why not?" he asked shocked.

"Because I'm hung up on somebody else." I answered honestly.

"Maybe I can help you get over him." He said grabbing my waist and puckering his lips.

"No thanks." I said pushing his face away from me.

"Come on how will you know if you never kiss me?" he replied a little angrily.

"I don't know but we are never going to find out." I replied pushing with more force. I broke free from him and made it into the back into the lunch room, but he had the balls to grab my wrist.

"Come on Nessie you used me, the least you can fucking do is give me a kiss bitch." He spat. I grabbed his hand and used my vampire strength to get his hand off of me. I bent it back and while he was squirming I spoke low and furiously.

"Listen I don't know who the Fuck you think you are but if you ever speak to me that way again or put your grimy little hands on me I will get my brothers to rip you limb from fucking limb pal." He nodded his head and I let go and went back to the table. That date was the biggest mistake of my life. I sat down and perked right back up as thought about Jake and I home alone. I don't know where Tayvien went and I didn't care.

"So how'd he take it?" Kenzie asked on our way to Government.

"Uh worse than I thought but I handled it… I don't think he'll be messing with me anytime soon." I commented casually.

The rest of the day went by just as fast as this morning and before I knew it I was saying bye to Kenzie and restraining myself from running to Jake. As soon as I reached him I tangled my arms around his waist.

"Lets go home." I said into his chest. He nodded and grabbed my bag. I got in the car and we made our way home.

"So how was school today?" Jake asked.

"Eh it was okay." I said with a shrug.

"What happened with that guy from last night?" I bit my lip; I wonder if I should tell him the truth? He always tells me the truth and he is my best friend…

"Uh he called me a bitch and grabbed my wrist but I handled it." I said in a low voice. Jake slammed on the breaks and started trembling. Thankfully no one was behind us and we were on a secluded road.

"He did what?" he bellowed.

"Calm down Jake, Don't be so dramatic, I told you I handled it." I groaned.

"Some guy put his hands on you and you tell me calm down and that I'm being dramatic?" He roared back.

"Please, please, calm down I don't want you going to jail for killing some stupid human boy over nothing." I said grabbing his hand. His trembling slowed and he started taking big breaths in and out.

"It's not nothing Ness, he put his fucking hands on you I can't just sit by and do nothing." He said in a quiet but intense voice through his teeth.

"I already told him that you would rip him limb from limb if he touched me again." I said giving him a pleading look.

"Fine but if I ever see his ass on the street I'm gonna fucking punch him dead in his cocky ass face. If he even looks at you the wrong way…oh man and if he ever lays another finger on you or calls you a name I will personally go to his house and break every fucking bone in his damn body he'll be begging for fucking death by the time I'm finished with him." He seethed. It was nice knowing that Jake would do that for me but this was bit of an overreaction.

"Okay, okay. Can we go now?" I asked amused. He nodded and pulled off. The rest of the ride was just Jake trying to compose himself. Maybe I shouldn't have told him.

When we got home I went straight up stairs to get more comfortable. I took my hair down, and changed out of the dress and into _pink_ sweatpants and a one of Jake's old shirts he gave me. After I was done I skipped back down stairs to find Jake. He was of course, raiding the refrigerator. I hopped on the counter and watched him with a grin. He finally pulled his head out of the fridge with a huge pile of food.

"What?" he asked through a mouthful of god knows what.

"Nothing, glad to see your all better." I said with a laugh.

"I thought about it and I will keep my word to you, I wont kick his ass yet." He said with a shrug. He started laying everything out on the counter next to me so that he could make a sandwich.

"Do you want one?" he asked not even looking up from his hard work.

"Uh no I'll pass I'm not hungry yet." I chuckled. "Come up stairs after you're done, so we can do our homework."

"Sure, sure don't forget you have to play for me."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me why'd you leave last night?" I asked.

"Because I can't sleep in your bed with your family here." He answered back like it was obvious.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked.

"I dunno Ness, I mean you're a girl I'm a boy…it's just not something I wanna explain." He said focused on the damn sandwich.

"Whatever I'll meet you upstairs." I said falling off the counter… I guess I still had my moments. I picked myself up off the floor and all Jake did was laugh.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked clearly entertained by the fact that I was a klutz.

"Yeah, just peachy." I answered walking out of the kitchen and up stairs. I got my homework out and went to Jake's bed to start. Five minutes later Jake came into the room with two enormous sandwiches and two pops.

"I made you one anyway." He said as he put one of the plates in front of me.

"Thanks, but what the hell is on this?" I asked poking it.

"I dunno, a little of this a little of that." He said taking a bite. "Just eat it." He added through his mouthful. I rolled my eyes and took a bite; it was actually pretty damn good. I finished the sandwich and my homework in thirty minutes and went to get my guitar so I could help Jake. I propped myself on the edge of his bed and started playing a song I wrote when I was 'thirteen'. I wrote it for Jake but he didn't know that or the words. After I strummed out the first few cords Jake looked up from his book and grinned at me. I stopped playing a looked at him perplexed.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I asked getting self-conscious.

"No you wrote that song when you were younger. I just forgot how much I love to hear you play." He said happily

"I didn't think you would remember." I replied honestly.

"Of course I would…now back to playing so we can get our fun night on the road." I nodded and picked back up where I left off. I went through a bunch of songs until he finished it all, he closed the book and looked at me.

"So what do you wanna do?" he asked leaning back in his chair and folding his arm behind his head.

"Let's go play video games." I said jumping off the bed and sprinting down the Hall. He caught up to me right before the stairs threw me over shoulder and carried me to the game room. We were cracking up the whole time up until he tossed me into bean bag chair. We both laughed for like five more minutes until we finally composed ourselves. We played video games and ate pizza until eight that night until I thought I heard something outside.

"Go check Jake." I said pushing him out the back door. I turned on the garden and pool lights as He walked out into the back yard. I bit my lip anxiously and my heart was pounding as he walked into the woods and out of my sight. I heard his deep yell and I sprinted towards where he disappeared, but before I could get there he staggered out of the woods and seemed to be hurt he dropped to his knees and fell to the ground. I was on the brink of tears by the time I got to him.

"Jake what happened?" I wailed. I couldn't loose him, he was my world.

"I…It…painful." He stuttered.

"What I can't understand you." I shrieked. All of a sudden his body started to shake and I thought he was gonna phase but then he busted out laughing. This was a joke?

"JACOB BLACK! You are such an asshole!" I screamed getting off my knees I started marching back to the house, when he grabbed my waist from behind.

"I'm sorry Ness, I could resist." He said with a chuckle

"No, get off me! I was scared to death!" I said. I pushed him off me and I didn't mean too but he went straight into the pool. He made a huge splash and resurfaced a few seconds later.

"Okay I guess I deserved that." He said spitting out a mouthful of water. I couldn't help but laugh I guess I was pretty funny if I wasn't about to piss myself out of fear.

"Damn fucking straight you deserved that. I should get in a drown you." I shot back.

"I'd love to see you try." He said with a chuckle. He laid on his back and floated to the edge of the pool where he took his socks, shoes, shirt, and shorts off so he was just in his boxers. My heart started pounding and I have no idea why but I pulled the shirt over my head and dropped my sweats so I was in nothing but my green and white polka dot bra and boy short cut underwear. Jake looked at me and nearly choked on a mouthful of water. I walked back five feet and dashed full speed toward the pool and did a cannonball right over the top of him. When I broke through the surface of the water Jake was at the total opposite end of the pool so I swam to him.

"So should I drown you now or later?" I asked with a grin.

"Go ahead and try." He said smugly. We started wrestling around in the water until I dunked him at least three times; I'm sure all because he let me win. After he came up the third time I wrapped my arms around his neck but he pulled me around so we were face to face. I could feel his sweet breath caressing my face as we stared into each others eyes. The electricity was flowing through my body and was becoming stronger with every second that our eyes were locked on each other. It felt like he was looking into the depths of my soul and then… he kissed me. His soft sweet lips felt like they were meant for mine and I felt complete. Time was frozen and everything was right. I knotted my hands into his soaking wet hair as he tangled his hands into mine and we just kept kissing with so much passion I stared to tremble. I was in ecstasy as our lips moved together in perfect harmony and it was like the world finally made sense. But just as suddenly as it started he pulled away.

"I'm sorry." He whispered huskily into the nape of my neck.

"Why the hell are you apologizing that was the most amazing thing in the world." I replied in a whisper resting my head on his shoulder.

"I can't do this yet." He said releasing me and swimming toward the stairs. He sat on the top stair and buried his face into his hands.

"Yet? What are you talking about?" I asked confused sitting next to him.

"I have to talk to your parents." He grumbled through his hands.

"My parents? What the hell do they have to do with anything? I'm a big girl I can handle myself." I stated getting frustrated. He had to have felt the same electricity I felt even if he didn't think that was the single greatest moment of his life; he had to have felt that.

"Ness, it's complicated. Your parents can't just go away and come back and I'm making out with their daughter." He mumbled.

"I don't see why not. They know how I feel about you." I remarked. He sighed and stood up.

"I just can't." was all he said before walking away towards the house. All I could do was sit there soaking wet while my heart shattered into a million little pieces.

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**A/N: so? Jake is a spaz right? well hope you liked it review review review! **


	11. Chapter 11

**You know the drill SM did it all.**

**A/N: OHH MY GOSHH! i am so sorry. School is killing me, but i am trying my hardest to write as often as i can. Don't give up on me i will try to be better. but here it is the next chapter thanks so much for all the reviews and all of the alerts and favs. they make me extremely happy and make me think about writing when i know i should be. So enjoy!**

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**JPOV**

The most earth shattering moment of my life had just happened and here I was walking away. What the fuck was I doing? I was breaking the heart of the girl I love, that's what I was I was doing. I got to my room and started pacing back and fourth trying to figure out why I was up here acting like an asshole and not down there with my reason for living. I walked to the window to see if Nessie was still in the pool and what I seen nearly ripped my heart out; Nessie was still on the stairs just sitting there while silent tears cascaded down her cheeks. I wanted so bad to run back to her and hold her and tell her I love her and that everything was gonna be alright, but I couldn't do that, could I? But then again I did give her a chance to choose another guy…and apparently she still picked me. I mean me trying to give her that fucking choice seemed to be hurting both of us more than if I were just to accept that she loved me and I loved her. If I don't tell her she's my imprint she'll still kind of have a choice right? She won't have the pressure to be with me forever and she'll be free to leave if she does happen to fall for another guy. I started to shake just at the thought but I pulled myself together quickly. Of course I would have to tell her eventually but not until I was sure she wanted me and only me. I knew that was going to be my logic but could I wait to tell Nessie until after I talked it over with Edward and Bella? I could hear Nessie starting to hyperventilate so I knew that I had to act now. I sprinted out of my room and down to the back door where I inched outside undetected until I was about eight feet away from her. I stopped and just stood there not wanting to startle her; she was sitting there in a daze looking at nothing as the tears poured down her face.

"Ness?" I whispered into the night air. My being quiet did nothing because she jumped nearly a foot in the air at the sound of my voice. Her head shot up and our eyes met, but she instantly adverted her gaze buried her face in her arms and started sobbing into her lap. I crept to her side, sat back on the stair and eased my arm around her shoulders. She didn't shrug it off which was a good thing so I pulled her closer while she sobbed even harder.

"Ness, I'm sorry." I whispered after a few minutes. This seemed to enrage her because she jumped up with a malicious look on her face.

"Sorr-rr-rry? Do you have any idea what the fuck you just did to me?" she roared looking down at me angrily, but I knew her, and I knew she was still holding back tears.

"Yeah I know, but I'm here to apologize." I replied imploringly.

"Will you stop fucking apologizing! You just shook me to the core with that kiss, you pull away and then you apologize?" she seethed and stormed out of the pool. I hopped up before she could get any farther and ran to cut her off.

"Where are you going?" I asked staring down into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Away…away from you!" she screamed still trying to catch her breath from the crying "All you do is drive me fucking insane! You know…" before she could rant anymore I kissed her. Our lips locked and it was the same as before like an electric current was coursing through my body. Our lips fit together perfectly, like everything else about us. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer with out missing a beat as she snaked her fingers through my hair and we continued to kiss. Her lips were so soft and juicy and they moved in perfect synchronization with mine…like they were made for me. Finally after five minutes we broke away breathless and she relaxed into my chest.

"Ness was that okay?" I asked panting into the nape of her neck.

"Are you kidding me? of course it was okay." She replied with a giggle. I chuckled and wanted to tell her that I love her more than life itself, but after the stunt I just pulled with the whole leaving her thing… I don't think it would be such a good idea. I wrapped my arms tighter around her waist and buried my face in her soaking wet hair, while she nuzzled her face in my chest.

"You drive me crazy and your PMS is worse than mine." She mumbled.

"I know, but things are gonna change I promise I won't be so moody." I said with a laugh.

"Good because I don't know how much more of the Jake mood swings I can handle." She replied with a chuckle. "So what now?" she asked as she push away from my chest and looked me in the eyes.

"I don't know, but we still have school tomorrow and my feelings are wearing me out." I replied earnestly.

"Yeah I guess we should shower and go to bed…" she trailed off as she bit her lip and dropped her gaze.

"Ness what's wrong?" I asked anxiously.

"Can you do me a favor and sleep in my bed the whole night?" she asked shyly. "I'm sure it would really help me sleep." She added quickly. I guess there would be no harm in that with everyone gone and all.

"Sure Ness." I answered with smile. A smile as bright as the sun lit up her beautiful face and she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the house. I showered in our bathroom and she showered in Edward and Bella's. After I was done I dried off, pulled on some boxers, socks, a t-shirt and basketball shorts, and walked to Nessie's room. Before I could knock Nessie had flung the door open and was standing there with the most beautiful smile across her sweet lips. She look incredibly sexy in short shorts and a one of my old long sleeved Seahawks shirts, I could already tell this girl was gonna drive me wild. I couldn't resist myself so leaned forward and placed a soft yet shocking kiss on her lips. I pulled back quickly so we wouldn't get carried away and grinned at her.

"I think I could used to that." She said looking under her thick eyelashes and biting her lip. That one little look sent my heart into a frenzy and I had to taste her sweet lips against mine again.

"Ness you can't look at me that way." I commented as she spun around causing her curls to throw the sweet scent of lavender at me. She laughed flipped the lights off and started for the bed. I dove into her bed first and laid on my back with one hand behind my head and waited until she was comfortably laying on my chest to put my other arm over her shoulders. We were quiet for a few minutes until she broke the silence.

"Jake can I ask you a question and answer honestly." She whispered with her head still on my chest. Oh boy this could be disastrous, but it's not like I can tell her no.

"Sure Ness, but I'm gonna lie." I answered sarcastically. She pushed off my chest and the soft rays from the moon danced across her stunning face.

"What made you kiss me today?" she asked quietly playing with her fingers in her lap. Shit I am gonna have to word this very carefully.

"To be honest, I can't really explain it…something changed in me when you were gone on that stupid ass date and I knew I felt different about you...but then again I knew it was coming." I replied not taking my eyes off of her gorgeous face.

"Coming? What do you mean? And how was it different?" she questioned quickly. I sat up and propped myself against the headboard while I tried to figure out what I was gonna say. She leaned over, turned on the light and crawled back to her spot where she sat on her knees patiently waiting for my answer. I better be as honest as I can with out telling her the whole truth.

"Well for instant on your first day of school when you walked away from me it hurt, like physically hurt me worse than it ever has, and the whole day you were the only thing on my mind." Her eyes grew three sizes while I was explaining; what did I say?

"You mean you feel that too… the pain in your chest? Does it feel like someone is reaching into your body and squeezing your heart?" she rambled out quickly. Weird I didn't know that she would feel it too.

"Yeah I do, but I've felt that since you were born…" I replied honestly

"I've always felt anxious when I'm not with you, but recently was when it started being physically painful to be away from you." She replied looking out the window in a hypnotic state. "So I have another question and you still never answered my first one." She stated snapping out of her trance.

"Okay what was the first one again?" I asked with a chuckle.

"How was it different?" she replied exasperated. I was trying to avoid this one but she doesn't forget anything, I guess it was time to tell her…

"It clicked okay." I said with a sigh. She rolled her eyes and put her small soft hands on each cheek and looked directly into my eyes.

"Jacob, I have no idea what that means will you stop beating around the bush and just tell me please?" She asked imploringly her stare burning into the depths of my soul.

"It clicked and I knew that I felt the same way you feel about me." I said my eyes still locked on hers. She dropped her hands and her eyes and inched backwards on her knees away from me.

"Like love?" she said lower than a whisper still avoiding my eyes and playing with the hem of her sleeve. I could hear her heart beat pick up, so I sat up straight, put my hand under her chin and lifted her face so she was looking me in the eyes again.

"Yes, Renesmee Carlie Cullen I am in love with you." I said firmly. As soon as the words left my mouth it felt like a ten pound weight was lifted from my shoulders. The next thing I knew Nessie's sweet lips were on mine. I pulled away quickly I'm sure before either of us wanted but I didn't want it to go to far, neither of us were ready for that.

"I'm sorry but that was the best thing I've ever heard." She said with a huge smile. I let out a loud laugh.

"Okay we can finish playing twenty questions later we have to go to sleep." I commented amused. She smiled sheepishly and I grinned back, grabbed her hand and pulled her with me as I laid back down. She rolled over and turned off the light but before she laid her head comfortably down on my chest she reached up and pecked me lightly on the lips.

"Goodnight Jake." She said. I could hear the smile in her voice and it made me ecstatic to know I was the one who made her happy.

"Goodnight Ness." I replied with a smile. I was laying there for about five more minutes until her steady heartbeat put me to sleep.

I cracked my eyes open and looked at the most beautiful vision in the world and The only sight I want to see when I wake up for the rest of my life…Nessie next to me. Her beautiful cinnamon colored curls were flowing all over the bed and my arm and the way she looks when she's asleep is like nothing bad could ever happen in the world. Man it's gonna be hard to go back to my own bed alone, especially after I just got the best nights sleep of my life. I peeked over her at the clock which told me it was just about time to get up. She was so peaceful that I hated to wake her but I had to if we were going to get going on time. So I kissed her on the cheek and whispered softly into her ear.

"Morning, Beautiful time to wake up." A smile started playing at the corner of her lips so I kissed each side until she opened those stunning chocolate brown eyes.

"Hi." She said with a yawn. "This has been the best night and morning of my life." I chuckled a little and flung my legs over the edge of the bed.

"Mine too Ness, mine too." I agreed.

"Let's skip school and hang out at home all day." She said as she flung the covers over her head.

"What would your parents think Ness?" I asked amused. "I'm supposed to be the responsible one remember?" plus we couldn't because that would ruin the surprise that was happening today. I don't even think she remembered that today is her birthday. I was shocked that Nessie didn't see what was going on, I mean I've heard better excuses from the pack and they've come up with ones like; I have fleas so I need to shower. Thinking about them made me miss them even more than normal; boy was I glad I was going to get to see them when they come with the family for Nessie's sweet sixteen surprise birthday party.

"Ha you responsible!" she said throwing the covers off of her and stretching.

"Whatever, say what you want about me but I am a responsible adult." I shot back playfully.

"Whatever you say Mr. Black." She said dancing into the closet.

"I'm going to get dressed meet you downstairs." I hollered as I went through the bathroom to my room. I wandered to the closet and dressed in a black polo, khaki cargo shorts and black adidas suma's. After I got done with my morning routine I made my way downstairs to the kitchen to get breakfast for Ness and I. I pulled out two bowls, two spoons, the milk and _Reese's puffs _which are mine and Nessie's favorite cereal. I was right in the middle of pouring bowl number two when Nessie and her heels clicked into the kitchen. She looked super sexy in a tight gray sweater dress that clung to every curve perfectly, black leggings and black knee high boots. Her hair was just the way I like it loose and flowing down her back and she had light make up on that was flawless just like the rest of her. It was so foreign and strange to think of Nessie as sexy, but I guess it was normal…? Even though I love Nessie anyway she looks, my favorite look of hers is when she's in sweats, one of my old shirts, has no make up on and her hair is all over the place… she just looks so natural and beautiful.

"Reese's puffs my favorite." She said hopping up onto a stool.

"I know that Ness, they've been your favorite since you started eating cereal. But back to the more pressing matter, my phenomenal cooking skills at their best." I said with a grin pushing her bowl to her. She rolled her eyes, and started eating.

"Mmm you are a fine chef Mr. Black." She said sarcastically through a mouth full of cereal. I chuckled and took a bite of my cereal. I still couldn't believe she didn't realize it's her birthday, so I decided I was going to hint around for a bit.

"So you miss the family Ness?" I asked. She bit her lip and looked at me under her eyelashes causing my heart to race and the urge to have her sweet soft lips touching mine tingled its way through my body. I nearly tackled her as I reacted to my feelings and engulfed her lips with mine in a kiss. It lasted no more than 20 seconds before I could stop myself and pull away. I sprawled out in my stool and ran my fingers through my hair

"Damn it Ness what did I tell you! You can't look at me that way." I shot out seductively. She laughed and shook her head.

"Just like a man can't control a damn thing… but to be honest I was a enjoying my time alone with you to miss them too much." She said with a grin. After that moment I totally forgot what was going on.

"Yeah and I do love spending time with you Ness, it was nice not to have to share you." I smiled.

"Mhm and great that I don't have my dad in my head he would not be happy with what he saw in there." She chuckled.

My heart nearly stopped as I remembered the talk Bella, Edward and I had after I realized I had feelings for Nessie. The whole talk was basically about what was going to happen next. They asked me to take it slow, when it did happen. But me myself I was worried it wasn't gonna happen, with her being on a date and all. I agreed to continue to give her the 'choice', and that was what was worrying me…would Edward and Bella see things my way, or would they expect me to give her more time for that? Bella did have to keep asking Edward to relax the whole time because he was tense the whole talk and a majority of his part of the conversation was spat through his teeth. I would have to call Bella to ask her to put up her shield until we can talk because there is no way I could back out now...Nessie would probably never talk to me again. Damn it! I really should have thought this through before I did what I did last night.

"Jake are you okay? You just got really flushed." Nessie asked worriedly.

"Mhm yeah I'm fine." I lied.

"Ohhh I see what this is your worried about what my parents are gonna say huh?" she asked in an irritated tone.

"Of course I am Ness. They go away for one day and then they come back and I'm making out with their daughter…" I babbled.

"First of all Jake we haven't made out and two, I'm my own person they are gonna have to accept the fact that I love you. And plus they should be happy I choose you someone they know, as opposed to someone that's a huge dick like Tayvien." She said casually.

"I highly doubt it's gonna be that easy Ness, have you met your dad?" I replied.

"Yes I have and I seem to have him wrapped around my finger I'm sure that if I talk to him he'll understand." she shrugged.

"I hope your right Ness." I sighed. She drank the last of her milk and grabbed our bowls and brought them to the sink. After she cleaned them off she spun around, leaned up against the sink and looked at me.

"Jake it will be fine what is Edward Cullen going to do?" boy she really didn't know did she?... He was going to tear me to fucking shreds.

"Lets go to school." I said getting up and pulling her by the hand and leading her to my car. We got in the car and started down the highway towards her school.

"So when did you know that you loved me?" she asked nonchalantly as I drove around a curve.

"Back to twenty questions I see?" I asked jokingly "But, uh I've always loved you Ness but when did I figure out that I was in love with you?" I asked

"Yeah." She replied nodding her head.

"I told you when you were on that date with that asshole. Like ten minutes after you left I was thinking about you and everything just… fell into place." Her eyes widened like last night.

"This is weird… like ten minutes into the ride with Tayvien I felt the worse pull I ever have in my life. I mean when I'm not with you there is always a dull ache but after that it was worse then ever, I actually buckled over from the pain." She commented. "And then on the date my…heart? stopped hurting for like 2 minutes and then the pain started again."

"I know why." I said with a half smile.

"You were there weren't you?" she asked eagerly bouncing in her chair.

"Well I was running and I just ran where my paws took me and they brought me to you."

"I knew you were there! I could feel you!" she said excitedly. I grinned.

"Now I have a question for you, I promise I won't get mad if you answer honestly."

"Okay, what's the question?" she asked. I started to shake so I gripped the steering wheel a little harder so it wasn't as obvious.

"Did you kiss him?" I asked struggling to keep the anger from seeping into my voice.

"Well thankfully you stopped that by flinging the door open like a psychopath. So I'm pleased to tell you Jacob Black that you gave me my first amazing kiss." She said with a smile. I immediately stopped shaking and I was flying over the moon. I wish Nessie was my first kiss too.

"Who was your first kiss?" she asked indifferently.

"Her name was Pauline, she was this girl I liked in second grade. I kissed her and she pushed me off the jungle gym… which was how I broke my arm. Those were the days before I was a wolf and healed super fast, I was in a damn cast for six weeks. " I shrugged.

"Aw how sweet." She replied with a laugh.

"I know right." I said rolling my eyes as we pulled into the parking lot of her school. I already started getting anxious before we were even at the drop off lane.

"Ugh I don't wanna go." She grumbled as she opened the door and came around to meet me in front of the car.

"I don't want to go either" I mumbled into her hair as I hugged her. "But I'll be here at 2:30 and then we can go home and see the family."

"I guess your right." She replied into my chest. After a few more minutes she pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"You have no idea how much I miss you when you're gone." I said with out breaking eye contact.

"Yes I do because I miss you just as much if not more." She said as she reached up on her toes for my lips, I gladly accepted and bent down and caught her lips in a soft kiss. We pulled apart and she leaned back into my chest.

"I can't say good-bye, why is this so hard?" she muttered.

"I know Ness it's hard for me too, but I will be here at 2:30 waiting for you." I replied quietly. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay. I'll see you at 2:30" she said as she turned on heels and walked towards the school. This pain was nothing I've felt before, like my heart was being cut out of my chest and I was bleeding out slowly. I clambered into my Range Rover and drove away. The further I drove away the worse it got, but I am gonna have to get use to this anyways so I kept driving until I was at school. I pulled swiftly in a parking spot and pulled out my phone to call Bella. After two rings Bella's voice chimed in the ear piece.

"Hey Jake what's up?"

"Nothing I have a favor to ask you with no questions asked."

"Hmm, I dunno depends on what it is." She replied skeptically.

"I need you to put your shield around Nessie and I when you get home until I can talk to you and Edward alone." Thankfully Bella had gotten so good at keeping up her shield; last time we tried she could keep it up for a week straight. That was one funny week Edward was pissed and irritable the whole time.

"Can you give me a hint?" She asked.

"Not really, but nothing _bad_ happened."

"As long as you can promise Renesmee and you are okay." She inquired concerned.

"Yeah we're fine." I assured her.

"Okay I guess." She sighed.

"Thanks Bells." I said relieved she agreed.

"Just don't make me regret it later."

"You won't I promise, you'll probably thank me."

"Whatever you say Jake, but anyways everyone but Edward and I are at the house, Edward and I should be there soon we are just picking up Nessie's License. But we'll be there before you guys get home. Does Nessie know yet?"

"No she doesn't even remember it's her birthday." I said with a chuckle

"Really? That's surprising; she would normally be giving us our own person gift lists. How have you been distracting my daughter?" She asked amused.

"Oh you know my good looks." I replied with a laugh.

"Sure Jake but, I have to go see you later on."

"Alright Bells later."

"Bye Jake." I hung up the phone and dragged myself out of the car to Embry, Seth and my normal meeting spot. They were both there already sitting at the picnic table. Seth was doing something on his phone and Embry was talking with Kendra. Seth actually looked up from his phone and was the first to greet me.

"Sup Jake." He said with a quick nod and then he went back to his phone, before I could even reply.

"Hey man. Embry, Kendra." They both said hi back and went back to talking. I was standing there with nothing to do so I pulled out my phone and texted Nessie.

_Hey Ness- Jake._

_Hey Wolf boy I miss you more than ever :'(- Ness_

_I miss you too I feel like I'm dying- Jake_

_I do too. Is it 2:30 yet?- Ness _we went on for a few more minutes until it was just about time for me to go to class.

"So you guys are coming to Nessie's birthday party tonight right? Quil and Sam's 'family' are coming down for it so you better be there." I announced.

"Yeah of course man, can I bring my uh girl-friend?" Seth replied instantly.

"Sure thing, what about you Embry?

Embry took a few minutes to answer because he was making out with Kendra but eventually assured me that he would be coming.

"Don't be late" I yelled over my shoulder as I left for class. I went straight to class to endure this long day with my bleeding heart. When my last class was finally over I sprinted to my car and sent Seth and Embry texts reminding them to be there on time. I blew down the street at about a buck twenty and got to Nessie's school about fifteen minutes early. I pulled into the parking lot, climbed out of the rover and leaned up against the hood waiting for Nessie. Five minutes of me waiting and my phone started ringing, so I pulled it out of my pocket and read that it was Pixie.

"Hey Pixie what's up?"

"Hey Jake are you at Nessie's school?" she asked

"Yeah why is something wrong?" I asked a little anxiously.

"No not at all I need you to take her the long way home or something, we have to give her friends time to get here." She blabbered.

"Oh right, just shoot me a text when we can come home."

"Well just be here at 3:15 and you'll be fine."

"Okay Pixie see you then." I hung up the phone and kept looking at the time thinking if I continued to look at it, it would go faster but everyone knows that if you do that it has the total opposite effect. Finally I could feel my heart mending and there she was… my reason for breathing. She had the biggest smile on her face as she restrained herself from running to me. I used my long legs to my advantage and closed the distance and had her in a hug faster than the blink of an eye.

"Holy Shit Jake, that was horrible. Maybe I should skip high school and just go to college with you." She mumbled from my chest.

"As much as I would love that I don't think the family would approve." I replied from her curls.

"I suppose you're right. Speaking of the family I bet they are waiting for us." She sighed. She pushed away, grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. It was the first time that we were holding hands this way; but something about it was more intimate than the normal way...and I definitely liked the way it felt. When we got to the Range Rover she let my hand go and turned to face me. Her beautiful brown eyes were sparkling in the dull overcast light as she looked at me.

"What?" I asked looking down into her gorgeous chocolate eyes. Her answer was a quick soft peck on my lips.

"I know last night I said I could get used to that, but to be honest I don't think I could ever get used to that." She said with a smile. I bent down and kissed her lips again.

"Well you better." I answered back. She laughed as I walked to my side of the car and got in. I started the car and was pulling out when I remembered I had to keep her out until 3:15.

"I feel like I'm forgetting something." She said after we were on the highway.

"Like what?" I asked trying to sound like I didn't know.

"I dunno something big… I think? Hm oh well, I guess I'll find out huh?" she said shrugging it off. I snorted and she looked at me perplexed.

"Nothing, I have to make an errand to get something, you mind?" I asked changing the topic.

"Nope, what do you have to do?" she asked.

"I have to stop and pick up a book for a class." I said picking an excuse out of thin air. It was a good excuse because it was the truth. I really had kept my track record clean with not lying to her. I did seem to leave a lot out, but it was always for her own good.

"Okay. Oh man I forgot I was going to introduce you to Kenzie, but she had something important to do at three." She said with a shrug. I nodded and changed the topic once again.

"How was your day?" I asked.

"Eh okay. Being with out you was killer…" She hesitated.

"What are you not telling me Ness?" I asked concerned.

"Nothing major just that for some odd reason Tayvien was acting a lot nicer to me since that day. It kind of feels like he thinks he has a chance again..." I could already feel myself shaking just at the mention of that assholes name.

"Jake calm down, nothing happened. If anything does you can handle it." She said exasperated.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said trying to get a hold of myself. She grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, instantly my shaking slowed.

"You are so over dramatic." She comment and rolled her eyes. I don't think she understood the gravity of the situation. Some dick though he could put his hands on my world and get away with it…boy would I keep my word if I ever seen him outside of her school. I would be damn sure punch him in his fucking face there was no doubt in that. Hopefully I would do some damage like breaking a nose or cheekbone, hell wouldn't be my problem. I pulled up to Barnes and Nobles and hopped out of the car while Nessie waited for me to come back out with the book.

I walked around the store and figured while I was here I might as well get a few things for Nessie. So I picked out a few comic books, some sheet music and a couple of sketching pads all stuff I knew she would like. I checked out at exactly three o'clock and was pulling up in front of the house at precisely 3:15. I parked in front of the house and went around to meet Nessie. Thankfully she knew how I felt about Edward knowing so we kept our hands to ourselves as we went to find them. We walked in the house and no one was around which surprised me but then I could hear them in a short distance and I knew were they were. Nessie looked at me quizzically.

"I dunno lets check if they are in the backyard?" I replied with a shrug. She nodded and walked towards the backyard. I spun her around so that she was walking backwards and talking to me. This was a horrible idea because she was falling all over the place. She may have gained a little gracefulness with age, but not enough to totally get rid of the clumsiness.

"So Ness what do you want to do this weekend?" I asked as she backed into the kitchen and knocked into the stool. I chuckled, placed my hands on her shoulders, and guided her the rest of the way.

"I dunno, I guess we'll have to ask my parents." She answered back. At this point we were in the doorway of the backyard so I spun her around with out taking my eyes off her beautiful face.

"SURPRISE!" everyone yelled. Her eyes were size of dinner plates as she took in everything. There was a huge banner that said _Happy Birthday Renesmee, _tables and tables of food, and a gigantic three tier cake that was a winding road and a toy replica of her mustang at the top. There were balloons everywhere, but the best thing was all of the people. As I scanned the crowd I seen that everyone I loved was here. My dad, Justine, Sue and Charlie were next to the Cullen's near the front. The Denali clan was also here with their newest member Garrett. Sam, Emily and their three kids were here also, along with the rest of the Sam's pack and their imprints. Only one of the Amazon vampires came and that was Zafrina, because she was clearly Nessie's favorite vampire besides her family. As I continued to look around there were a few faces I didn't recognize, one of them was a girl standing with Seth, and the others were a group of six standing in one corner. Some looked Nervous, others amazed and one was simply happy. I looked back at Nessie and she was standing rooted to her spot with tears in her eyes. Everyone started to come over and bombard Nessie with hugs so I fell back into the crowd and let her receive all of her hellos and birthday wishes. I made my way over to my dad and Justine who were sitting at a table talking.

"Hey dad." I said bending down giving him a hug. I reached over and pecked Justine on the cheek and said hi to her as well.

"Hey Jake, how is school shot law man?" my dad asked amused.

"It's hard but it will be well worth it when I'm helping get justice for those who need it." I shrugged.

"That's good we are so proud of you." My dad said grabbing Justine's hand. "And your mother would be too." He added in a whisper. I looked at Justine to see her reaction to my dad mentioning my mom. It surprised me that she had a smile on her face and tears in her kind eyes. She was a really good woman and I was glad my dad found someone that made him happy and was as nice as she is.

"Thanks guys." I said rubbing the back of my neck. My dad smiled and changed the subject quickly.

"I think Rebecca is going to come visit for Christmas this year." He said with a smile. I took a deep intake of breath and shook my head. I loved my sister and she was a good woman, but she had given my dad so many empty promises about her coming home, I stopped getting my hopes up. My dad didn't though, anything she said he believed.

"That's good dad." I commented trying to force a smile.

"I know what you're thinking Jake, and this time is different I can feel it. After all she'll have a new niece or nephew to come to see, and what a better time than Christmas." Dad stated.

"Okay dad if you say so. But I'm gonna make my rounds I'll be back." I said as I got up. I patted him on the shoulder and went to say hi to everyone else. After I greeted all of my other family, I went to Seth and Quil who were sitting on the edge of the pool. Seth was hugged up with I assumed to be the girl he was always talking about, and Quil was hanging his feet in the pool with Claire.

"Hey Seth, Quil, Claire and..." I greeted them.

"Hey Jake, I want to introduce you to my girl friend Jordan." He grinned. I stuck out my hand and the girl accepted it gladly.

"Hey Jordan, it's nice to finally meet you."

"Hello Jake, it's nice to finally meet you as well, Seth has told me so much about you." She said with a hint of a British accent.

"All good things I hope?" I replied eyeing Seth suspiciously.

"Oh of course, of course he looks up to you like an older brother, its quite endearing actually." She said smiling sweetly at Seth. I looked at Seth and his cheeks were red and he was staring at the pool. It made me happy to know that my pack looked up to me because I was trying my hardest to be a good example. I patted him on the back and decided to change the topic because I didn't want to make it awkward.

"Hey Claire."

"Jake!" she exclaimed jumping up and giving me a hug. "I miss you! Where is Nessie?" she blubbered out. I chuckled and immediately spotted her laughing with Zafrina. I kneeled down so that I could be eye level with Claire.

"She's over there go say hi, I know she'd love to see you." I whispered. She nodded and ran over to Nessie. Nessie instantly picked her up and hugged her. I smiled at how amazing she was, and went back to the boys.

"So have you seen Embry?" I asked.

"Oh yeah he and Kendra should be here any minute, he's picking up our present for Nessie." Seth replied. "Speak of the devil."

Embry came strolling up hand and hand with Kendra and then it happened…. Jordan and Embry locked eyes and that was it. They stood there looking at each other and it was like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

"Oh shit." I mumbled under my breath. Seth was staring back and fourth between Embry and Jordan shaking. I had to think on my toes so I spoke low and intense so only Quil could hear me.

"Grab Seth now and take him to the woods he's about to phase." Quil nodded and instantaneously did what I said. Not a second too soon because the minute they were out of view I could hear the shredding of all of Seth's clothes, but I couldn't worry about that now I had to distract Kendra.

"Uh hey Kendra, I want you to meet my family." I blurted out quickly taking her arm. She looked at me apprehensively and then back to Embry, who was still staring at Jordan.

"What's wrong with Embry?" she asked looking over her shoulder as I dragged her away.

"Uh this is my mother for all intensive reasons." I said as reached Esme.

"Hello dear, I'm Esme, it's a pleasure to meet you." Esme said sweetly.

"Uh how exactly is she your mother?" Kendra asked quizzically.

"Uh, Esme would you mind telling her while I go do something?" I asked looking around at Embry who was now talking to Jordan.

"Of course." Was all I need to hear before I sprinted back to Embry and Jordan.

"Uh would you mind if I talked to you for a minute Embry." I asked. He looked over at me then back to Jordan.

"Would you mind?" he asked slowly. She looked at him with big doe eyes and I knew that because she was his imprint he would do whatever she wanted. I knew that all to well, and I knew that because she was his imprint he would know what she meant just by that look. So I pulled him away.

"We'll be right back." I shot over my shoulder. "Someone go talk to Jordan we have a situation here." I said in my normal voice knowing that one of the many vampires here would hear me. Quil was phased and growling at Seth and Embry was still in daze. What the fuck? Why does it have to be on Nessie's birthday?

"Embry phase we need to talk." I said in his face so he knew I meant business.

"Okay, okay." He said aggressively. I backed up, pulled off my clothes and phased. Instantaneously I was flooded with angry and yelling voices.

_I really like Jordan she's a good girl, am I supposed just let Embry's dumb ass take her away? He's a fucking asshole. _Seth's voice screamed.

_What the Fuck dude I didn't do anything! _Embry shot back defensively.

_You Imprinted on my girlfriend you Dick!_

_Like I have fucking control over that! It wasn't my fault it just happens._

_He's right Seth._ I said as sympathetic as I could.

_I've got to get the fuck out of here. Tell Ness happy birthday for me Jake._ Seth said and shot off into the woods. We could see how much he liked Jordan, and the internal struggle he was having trying to tell himself it wasn't love, it couldn't be it wasn't long enough, and then he phased out.

_Damn the Clearwater's have the worst luck when it comes to imprinting and love. _Quil said as he trotted behind a tree. He came out a few seconds later dressed.

"Man I miss you guys." He said as he leaned on the tree with a grin. I shook my head and went to phase out myself.

"So much fucking drama." I said shaking my head. "Embry, Jordan is waiting for you, maybe you two should leave and I dunno catch up." I said exasperated. He nodded his big wolf head and went to phase out.

"I'm going to find Nessie, I need some normalcy. And it's her fucking birthday I should be with her; I need to be with her."

"Right behind you man." Said Quil patting me on the back, I spotted her right away and went over to be with her.

"Hey Jake where have you been?" she asked as I reached her.

"Taking care of some pack business, I'll explain later." I whispered low enough so that only the supernatural beings could hear. "Embry and Seth said happy birthday, they had something to do." She looked at me perplexed; all I did was shake my head.

"Come with me I want to introduce you to my friends from school." Nessie said. She grabbed my hand like normal and started dragging me to the group of people I knew were her friends. But as we passed Bella and Edward I heard a part of their conversation.

"Bella love, would you like to inform me why I can not hear my daughter or Jacob?" He questioned through his teeth. I caught Bella's eye and her gave her a sympathetic look as Nessie continued to drag me away.

"Um I'll explain after the party." She said kissing Edward I'm sure totally distracting him. I turned as we reached the six people.

"Jake this is Kenzie, Lance, Shaylenn, Matt, Luke, and Holly." She said pointing to all of the people. I shook all of their hands and talked a little to all of the guys about sports while Nessie talked to the girls about the house and family. A tap on the shoulder brought me out of the conversation and when I turned around my whole body tensed.

"Kendraa, hey." I replied sheepishly with a fake smile and an awkward wave. Shit I totally forgot about her.

"Where the hell is Embry?" She spat. Ness spun around ready to defend me.

"Uh hi I'm Nessie." She said putting her hand out. Kendra gave her fake smile and shook her hand apprehensively.

"Have you seen my boy friend? Last time I seen him was when he was staring at that…girl." She snapped at me.

"Uh, uh I think he wasn't feeling well so he left?" I said trying to sound believable, but I knew it wasn't going to fly.

"So my boyfriend, who brought me to this party with all his family just up and left me?" she questioned mockingly. Shit I should have thought this through. Not thinking seemed to be getting me into quite a bit of trouble.

"That seems to be the way it happened huh?" I replied feigning innocence.

"Really and that girl just happened to disappear the same time he did?"

"Uh I dunno Kendra, did you want to stay here and wait?" I asked annoyed.

"What the fuck Jake? I don't want to be here, especially not without Embry." She spat. I could see Nessie out of the corner of my eye and I knew this was it, she was gonna say something.

"Excuse me, but if you don't want to be here you don't have to be here. I could gladly call you a cab?" Nessie stated sickeningly sweet.

"I'll call myself a cab thanks… and Jake if you happen to see Embry tell him I said lose my fucking number." She seethed and turned and walked towards the door.

"Who the hell was that crazy bitch?" Nessie asked.

"Embry's ex-girlfriend apparently." I said shaking my head.

"Jake what the hell is going on?" she asked skeptically.

"Follow me and I'll explain." I whispered. She nodded and turned back to her friends.

"Hey guys sorry to leave you again, but I'll be right back I have to make sure she got out okay." She said. They all agreed and I grabbed her hand with out intertwining our fingers and led her into the woods off the side of the house far enough away so that no one could hear us. I stopped abruptly and spun around causing Nessie to crash into my chest just like I wanted.

"I don't think I ever got to tell you happy birthday." I said snaking my arms around her waist. I bent down and enveloped her plump lips in a passionate kiss. Our lips moved together and I was in ecstasy. We pulled away about five minutes later breathless like normal and I buried my face in her hair. "Happy Birthday beautiful." I whispered into her curls.

"Thanks Jake…I totally forgot today was my birthday." She said with a laugh.

"I know it was funny seeing you trying to figure out what you were forgetting." I replied amused. I took her hand and started leading her back to the party.

"So what the hell happened with Embry today? I seen him for like two seconds and then he was gone…"

"Embry imprinted today." I said exhaling loudly.

"That's great! Why do you sound like it's not good?" she inquired.

"Because he imprinted on Seth's girl friend, and Seth was pretty sure he was in love her." I answered glumly, looking at the ground. I heard her take a quick intake of breath and cover her mouth with her free hand.

"Poor Seth." she said quietly from behind her hand, her voice breaking. I looked up and she had tears welling in her eyes. I stopped and turned her so she was facing me.

"Ness what's wrong?" I asked anxiously.

"Nothing I just feel bad for Seth is all." She replied wiping her tears.

"There's something else, what's wrong Ness?" I questioned just as anxious.

"It's… I just… I feel like that's gonna me. Standing there watching you imprint." She choked out through sobs. Oh damn I hate this subject. I pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.

"Ness what have I told you?" I mumbled.

"Yeah Jake, but this just proves how unpredictable imprinting is, what if I'm the one standing…"

"It's not going to happen I can promise you that." I said confidently.

"I guess we'll have to cross that road when we come to it." She said her sobs slowing.

"If that's the way you want to think of it." I said with a sigh.

"It's the only way to keep me from freaking out." She said pushing back and wiping her eyes. I rolled my eyes and wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek.

"Let's get back to the party. You have to open presents." I said happily.

"Oh yeah! Race you back!" she yelled already running towards house. And she says I have PMS. I chuckled and started running after her.

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**A/N: Well there you go tell me what you think! until the next chapter :) which i promise will be sooner than this one!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sm did it you know that.**

**A/N: Holy Smokes! it's been 6 months and for that i am sorry! but my computer with the other chapters crashed and i was so upset and couldn't bring myself to write more. but here it is the next chapter. but i got my new computer finally so there will be more frequent updates. i am in school and working full time so i'll do my best... okay enough with me blabbing here it tis. **

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**NPOV**

I was just closing the door behind my grandpa Charlie and let me tell you it wasn't any easier than the first time. My mom was standing in the arch way to the dining room with her arms opened so I slumped to them slowly and leaned into her.

"It's okay baby I'm sure you'll see them more often than you think." She said softly while she rubbed my back. I just nodded my head into her shoulder and sat there. After a few more minutes of her rubbing my back she pulled away and looked me. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah I'll be fine, maybe I'll go find Jake." I said feeling a lot better with knowing I would be next to him in a matter of seconds.

"Okay well I'm going to help finish cleaning up." She answered back. I gave her a grin and spun on my heels to find Jake. I wandered into the living room and there he was…he was sprawled out on the couch right in the middle. His eyes were closed and his long muscular limbs were everywhere. One leg was thrown over the back while the other was hanging lazily over the armrest of the couch and his arms were both tossed above his head like a child sleeping. I gave a little chuckle strode over and plopped down on the cushion right above his head. I took my hands and started rubbing his hair and instead of releasing tension I could feel his whole body go rigid. After a second or two his beautiful eyelids fluttered open revealing his deep brown irises.

"What's wrong?" I asked clearly confused. I mean my parents have to know where Jake and I's relationship has gone…I don't know about him but I could not take my mind off of what happened last night. It was a dominating thought throughout a majority of my day. Which I guess is a bad thing seeing as I was with my extended family and I have no idea when the next time I'm going to see them is.

"Ness not yet." He whispered as he stared into my eyes. What in the world was he talking about? He sat up and looked at my perplexed look and sighed. "Look earlier I called your mom and asked her if she could put her shield up until we all could sit down and talk…" he answered trailing off. Shit! I should have known it was too good to be true when my dad didn't have anything to say about Jake and I in our underwear, soaking wet, and kissing. I may have been nonchalant about it when I was trying to calm Jake down, but to be honest I was terrified that he was going to freak out and be super over reactive and do something drastic like try and kick Jake out or worse say we can't be together. Jake sat up and looked at me anxiously.

"Nessie are you okay? You look flushed." He asked concerned.

"Mhm yeah, I'm fine..." I lied. He sighed and got off the couch.

"Where are you going?" I asked worriedly. I should have known he can see right through my lies.

"I'm going to find your parents and we are going to sit down and talk to them like mature adults." He said offering me his hand so that he could help me off the couch. I hesitated and bit my lip. What if my dad did rip Jake limb from limb? NO! I would never in a million years let that happen and I have a million years to protect him too, even if it is from my father.

"Come on Nessie we're going to have to do it sometime and I'm not going to have you on edge until we do." Jake stated. I took his hand and he pulled me up into a hug.

"Just know whatever happens I'm not going to leave you." He whispered into my curls. I nodded and couldn't help but know what he spoke was nothing but the truth. He pulled away gave me a weak smile and took a deep breath. He turned around and started walking away and I slowly followed behind him. When we reached the bottom of the stairs he stopped and turned to face me.

"Do you wanna go wait in your parents' room while I go get them?" he questioned. I nodded and slumped up the stairs towards their room. I stopped at their door and inhaled deeply before pushing it open. I walked over to their couch parallel to the bed flopped down and started mentally preparing myself for my world to come to an abrupt stand still. I have no idea how long passed before my mom and dad were sitting face to face with Jake and I but it was a bit intimidating and uncomfortable.

"Well?" My dad spat through his teeth.

"Now Edward, remember we said we would have an open mind and we would remain calm." My mom reminded him while she rubbed his arm. I could see a little of his tension release at moms touch. Typical. But then again it's the same way with Jake.

"Okay well you see, something may have happened…"Jake trailed off. My dad just shook his head and dropped his head into his hands.

"I can't do this Bella." He said quietly to my mom.

"Yes you can Edward. Now go on Jake we're listening." She replied soothingly. Jake cleared his throat and started fiddling with his hands in his lap. Oh for crying out loud.

"Look Jake and I love each other and more than just friendship love, like we are IN love with each other." I blurted out as quickly as I could. My dad was nearly ripping his hair out now as he stared intently at the floor.

"What happened while we were away?" he questioned straining to keep the anger from his voice.

"What do you mean what happened?" I asked feigning innocence.

"Do not play this game with me Renesmee." He said struggling even harder to keep from snapping.

"We kissed that was all." Jake answered rapidly.

"May I ask you what the hell happened to taking it slow?" Dad snapped back all restrain out the window. Wait what? Taking it slow? So they've talked before?

"What do you mean?" I asked in a defensive tone.

"Well when I realized I loved you I talked to your parents about it…and they said they could see it coming so they just asked us to take it slow."

"Not exactly remaining firm on your side of the bargain are you Jacob?" My dad spat cutting Jacob off.

"Edward please…we knew it was going to happen someday." My mom replied with pleading eyes. His anger faltered and he sighed defeated. They did? How come I'm the only one who didn't see that Jake loved me?

"So your father and I need to talk we'll be right back." Mom said as she pulled my dad off the bed by his hand and dragged him into the hallway. Jake and I just sat there in silence hoping to get a snippet of their conversation; I didn't try too hard because I figured they were smart enough to go far enough away to where Jake and I couldn't hear them. So I slunk into the couch and started thinking about last night again. All of a sudden I could hear a growl and next thing I knew my dad was in the room choking Jake up against the wall.

"DAD WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I screamed out hysterically trying to pull his hand from around Jake's throat. Jake was just sitting there not doing anything! He needed to fight back.

"TAKE IT SLOW YOU WERE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR TOGETHER IN THE POOL KISSING? I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU TO SHREADS MONGREL!" My dad wailed like a mad man.

"Mom do something please!" I yelped close to tears. My mom was just standing in the doorway with a shocked expression on. My cry for help must have brought her back to reality because all of a sudden she was by my dad pleading as well.

"Edward please stop this isn't the way to handle it no matter what happened." She said soothingly. My dad's frenzied breathing slowed and my mom easily pulled his hand from around Jake's neck. As soon as my dad let go, Jake dropped to his knees coughing and gasping for air. I dropped to my knees next to him with tears pouring down my face mostly because I was furious and I have a stupid habit of crying when I'm mad, and because this was Jake and he was hurt. I didn't really know what to do so I just sat there almost in hysterics.

"Are you insane?" I seethed at my dad with a shaky voice.

"Look Edward I'm sorry." Jake croaked out.

"You're sorry Jake? Why the hell are you apologizing to him? This psychopath almost killed you!" I screeched at Jake. Jake stood up and pulled me up with him and into the hall and pulled the door shut behind him.

"Go to your room and wait for me okay? Your anger and stubbornness isn't going to help." He said low and intense.

"No what if he tries to pull another bull shit stunt like that? He. Almost. Killed. You." I screamed.

"Nessie just go." He said spinning me around and pushing me towards my room. I stomped towards it but stopped when a thought occurred to me.

"What if he says we can't be together?" I shot at him. "You can't let him do that!" I yelled enraged.

"Nessie PLEASE just go." He pleaded imploringly. I exhaled loudly and reluctantly started stomping for my room again. My dad is a fucking nutcase. It was just a stupid kiss and he almost killed the boy I love for that? If he kicks Jake out I am going with him. I confirmed to myself. At this point I was pacing around my room waiting for someone to tell me what the fuck was going on. I should probably be trying to concentrate on what they were saying but I just couldn't believe my dad would do that. What seemed like an eternity later I could hear a soft knock on my door, so I sprinted to it and flung it open. Jake stood in the door way with a mask etched on his beautiful face.

"Well?" I asked slowly.

"I managed to talk my way out of a huge mess, but they want you to come back to the room." He answered.

"Fine I'll give him a piece of my fucking mind." I said marching past Jake. But he caught my wrist and shook his head.

"No. just go in there be calm and listen, it will just make things worse if you bring your attitude and anger Ness." He scolded.

"Fine!" I spat. "But if he thinks…"

"Ness I mean it." He said cutting me off. I rolled my eyes and marched into the room and took post on the couch again staring at my parents.

"Let me start off by saying you father apologized to Jacob for what he did." My mom stated. I nodded and kept listening without saying anything. "But your father and I have had a discussion…" mom started. I could feel my heart start to beat rapidly and I couldn't help but get nervous. What if my worst fears came true? No, I wouldn't let them I would have to fight long and hard to convince them otherwise.

"Well Renesmee you won't have to fight with us because we've accepted you and Jacob…with restriction and rules of course." Dad stated answering my thoughts. I looked at Jake in awe and he looked just as shocked as I did.

"Really?" Jake asked timidly.

"Yes Jake, and there will be no more outburst like today if you follow our rules." Mom answered back. I was kind of in shock from the whole thing.

"So what are the rules?" I inquired once I found my voice.

"I'm glad you asked." My dad replied. "No public displays of affection when we are around. No sleeping in the same bed, and please I beg of you learn to control your thoughts. We will talk more later about your uh dare I say progressing relationship when we get there."

"That's it?" I asked still kind of surprised. To be honest I was expecting like an hour worth of rules.

"Would you like there to be more because I could gladly make more." My dad responded. I shook my head and looked at Jake. Was this really happening could I get my family and the boy I was so in love with?

"Yes Renesmee, now you better go before I change my mind." My dad said looking at me. With that I got off the couch followed by Jake, walked out of the room and to my room. Jake walked in the room after me and flopped on my bed, while I just stood in the middle of my room still astonished.

"Can you believe this?" I squealed with excitement.

"No I really can't that was the last thing I was expecting." He said with a grin. I skipped over to him and tangled my arms around his neck.

"You're all mine now Jacob Black, nothing is going to stand in our way." I said staring into his eyes. I stayed there looking at him until I couldn't take it anymore I had to kiss him. I touched my lips to his and the shock that jolted me was the single most satisfying thing I've ever experienced. I pushed him back onto the bed and the passion I felt was unbelievable. I was lying next to him when I felt his pocket vibrate the whole bed.

"Don't answer it." I said nearly breathless in-between kisses.

"I better get it, plus this is getting out of hand." He said with a grin. I sighed and rolled over on my back, he was right though. I could do this for days with him. He sat up and yanked his phone out of his pocket.

"It's Embry." Jake said his whole expression changing. He pressed the answer button and put the phone up to his ear. "Hey Embry." I sat up and tried not to listen but the way Jake changed was a little scary.

"Has he phased?... Well one of us is going to have to stay phased just in case he does." He said worry dripping off of every word. They must be talking about poor Seth. "Yeah I know man it just happens you can't help it…believe me I'm one who does know." He said with a hint of edge to his voice. Knows what?

"Okay well I'll phase now and see if I can track his scent and I'll call you if I find anything. Alright man, I will. Kay bye." He hung up the phone and dropped his head into his hands.

"Jake what happened?" I asked softly rubbing his back.

"Another life ruined by fucking imprinting." He said anger piercing his every word.

"What do you mean? I thought imprinting was a good thing…." I asked a little confused imprinting was about finding the person you were made for, why wouldn't you want that?

"I mean yes it's a good thing, you find your soul mate…but at what cost? I'm sure anyone who has imprinted would want to do it the right way and not feel like it's being forced by some stupid magical claim." He answered frustrated. "I know I do." He mumbled after.

"You do what?" I asked curiously. He was actually talking about imprinting this is a rare thing that never happens. I better get as much out of this as I can.

"I, I, if I imprinted I would feel like I was taking a choice away, her choice to choose if she wanted to be with someone else like she can't love anyone but you. I don't think it's fair." He rambled out.

"But there wouldn't need to be a choice because the point of an imprint, I thought was because you are perfect for each other? Like you were made for each other…" I asked trying more to understand his thoughts. He looked up at me.

"But can you understand where I'm coming from?... Think of it from a wolf stand point, you can't help but wonder that if you didn't imprint would they still love you?" he replied trying to explain to me.

"Yeah Jake I can understand that but you can't torture yourself with the what if's." I stated knowingly.

"Yeah but it's a lot easier said than done." He said quietly. You would think he has experience with this. I let it go for now and changed to Seth.

"So they can't find Seth?" I asked concerned. He dropped his head back into his hand and shook it.

"No he was really torn up about Jordan. I'm worried about him…I know what that's like." He added sadly. But Jakes was worse, he was rejected by choice not by I guess he would call 'force'.

"What's going to happen?" I questioned.

"I don't know I have to go to try to track him down." He whispered.

"I hope he'll be okay." I whispered back.

"For his sake I hope he does imprint…"he grumbled out. He stood up and looked at me. "I have to go but I'll be back as soon as I can." I nodded and stood up to hug him.

"Everything will be okay Jake, just look at Leah. She's fine now." I voiced into his chest.

"I sure hope your right Ness. But look how long it took her to heal? And to be perfectly honest I think Seth is more fragile than Leah is…but I guess we'll find out." With that he kissed me on the forehead and left out of my room. I sat on the bed and a few minutes passed and there was a soft knock on my bedroom door. I looked up and grandma was standing in the doorway with her 'trademark' smile on.

"Hey grandma." I said smiling back. You couldn't help but smile back at her when she smiles.

"We have just a few more presents for you if you'd like to open them?" She asked sweetly.

"Really more? Sure why not?" I asked kind of shocked. I wasn't expecting anymore gifts after all I got today. I knew Jake hadn't left yet so I better do it before he does. "I'll be right down grandma." I replied with a grin. She nodded, turned around and disappeared. I hopped off the bed and went to Jakes room through the bathroom. He was half way under the bed looking for something and I couldn't help but giggle at how goofy he looked.

"What are you looking for?" I asked from the doorway. I heard him bang his head on the box spring as he was pulling himself out.

"My phone, I tossed it on my bed and it fell behind the head board." he said rubbing his head. I snickered and shook my head. Oh my Jacob.

"Well before you go, would wanna help me open presents?" I asked.

"Oh yeah! Of course. I still have to give you the last of mine." He answered with a lopsided grin.

"More Jake? Really you shouldn't have… You've already brought me a car and sheet music and sketching pads I could go in for days with all you've gotten me." I commented.

"Get over it." He said with a shrug getting off the floor. "Let's go because I have to try and find Seth." I nodded and took his hand and intertwined our fingers. When we got to the living room I could hear my dad growling, so Jake and I immediately let go. I wasn't going to push it; I had it so good right now.

"Oh grow up Edward they're just holding hands." Aunt Alice shot at my dad as she rolled her eyes.

"I said no public displays of affection." He retorted angrily.

"How is that a pda? They did that before they were I dunno together?" Aunt Alice said directing the last part at Jake and I. I looked at Jake who in return gave me an 'I dunno what do you think?' kind of look. So I looked back to Aunt Alice and shrugged my shoulders…we were gonna have to talk about that later.

"It means something entirely different now." My dad commented. And he was right it did.

"So what it's not like they are making out in front of you." She snapped back. I decided I'd better step in before things got messy.

"Okay, okay. Can we just get to the presents now?" I asked exasperated. A unanimous agreement chorused throughout the room, so I sat down in the arm chair they designated for me and grabbed a large brown envelope off the top. I pulled it opened and turned it upside down so that two plastic cards fell out onto my lap. I picked up the first one, it was a credit card with the name Renesmee Cullen on it. I looked up at my parents with a cheek hurting smile on.

"Really?" I spewed excitedly.

"Yes Renesmee with age comes responsibility, and your father and I think you're ready for this one." Mom answered with a smile.

"Thanks!" I exclaimed

"You'll have an allowance of four-hundred a month right now until you can prove that you can handle it." She stated. I nodded and picked up the next card. I turned it over in my hands and what it was surprised the hell out of me. My face was staring back at me and at the top it said Oregon drivers license.

"No way!" I exclaimed. I mean I was already driving, but this gave me a feeling of freedom and I loved it.

"Happy Birthday baby." My mom said with a smile.

"Thanks mom and dad." I said in awe staring down at my card of freedom.

"This doesn't mean that you can come and go as you please Renesmee…there will be rules." Dad replied answering my thoughts.

"I know, I know…it's just it's an amazing feeling being able to come and go as I please not having to rely on everyone else." I stated honestly. I went back the pile and pulled a small golden box off the top. I immediately knew who it was from by the elegant script that covered the box; grandma. The box read: 'To Renesmee our beautiful blossoming young adult. Love your family.' I smiled at it and slid the lid off. Inside was a plane voucher? To…ITALY?

"What are you serious ITALY?" I nearly screamed. I looked to grandma who had a sweet smile on and was nodding. I jumped off the couch and lost my footing almost falling but managed to catch myself before then. I could hear everyone laughing at me but I didn't care I had to thank her.

"I've always wanted to go to Italy!" I yelped as I nearly tackled her.

"I know sweetheart and I think you're old enough and mature enough to appreciate it." She said muffled by my hair. I pulled back and beamed at her and she did likewise.

"But you know it's just not from me…" she commented. I nodded and rounded everyone with thank you hugs.

"Damn I should have got her a trip to Barcelona instead of that body kit for her car." Uncle Emmett said with a grin as I made my way back to the couch.

"It seems this family has a tradition of their gifts." Uncle Emmett said with a chuckle. I looked at him quizzically. What is he talking about I've been to New York and L.A. places like that but never somewhere as extravagant as Italy.

"Well your grandma and grandpa gave your mom a plane ticket for her birthday too once…we all know what happened then…" he said obliviously. The whole vibe of the room changed and I knew why. Everyone but Jake and I were giving him the shut the hell up look. "Sorry." He said as he slunk into the couch. I quickly grabbed the last present off the table so I could release the tension. It was a small skinny bag with a big yellow and pink bow on it. I smiled because it was obviously from Jake. All this gift giving was becoming a bit out of hand, but I knew if I refused it he would be highly offended. So I reached into the bag and pulled out more tickets…but this time it was to a ballet.

"The ballet Jake?" I questioned quietly.

"Uh I just thought you might like to go with me. I know how much you love ballet and you haven't been to a performance in years…" he rambled quickly before trailing off. "I could, uh I could get a refund, or give them away or something?" he added nervously.

"Are you crazy? I would love to go." I replied. All the anxiety was wiped off of his face and was replaced by my favorite Jacob Black smile.

"Great! Now I can plan that date, better get started now!" Aunt Alice cut in eagerly. We all laughed at her because the show was at least a week and a half away but we knew she wasn't lying. I got up to hug Jake, but just before we could touch my dad cleared his throat.

"No public displays of affection." He growled.

"Oh Edward now you're just being absurd!" Aunt Alice wailed.

"Hugging leads to other things." He spat.

"Edward I don't even like the mutt and I have to agree with Alice, stop being so…so over protective you need to face it and realize that Nessie isn't a baby anymore she is a beautiful young woman and things are bound to change." Aunt Rose said as she glided to me pulling Uncle Emmett behind her. "Goodnight my beautiful MATURE niece we love you." She said as she pecked me on the cheek. I giggled at my dad snarling at her.

"love you guys too, and Goodnight, thanks again for everything." I replied.

"No need to thank us Ness, keep this on the down low but your our favorite niece." He whispered with a grin. I chuckled and rolled my eyes as they left the room. I said the rest of my goodnights before Jake walked me to my room to tell me goodbye and goodnight. When we got to my room I placed all of my presents on my desk and went to get out of the damn dress I was wearing all day. I quickly yanked on some _victoria's secret pink _sweats and cami and stumbled back into my room.

"Jake are you okay?" I questioned. He was just kind of staring into space with a sad expression on.

"Yeah I'm fine just worried about Seth is all. I know how he feels and it sucks." He said desolately.

"I know I feel so bad for him, he was heartbroken huh?" I asked softly as I sat down next to him on the bed.

"Oh yeah he was crushed." He said quietly.

"Poor Seth." I said tears welling up again. What if that's me when Jake imprints…here we go again. Stop it Nessie we are not going down this path again…but it was so hard not to when it was staring you in the face like this. Jake put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side where I cuddled up to him. He sighed and kissed my forehead.

"Only one more minute until it's not your birthday anymore." He commented.

"Your right, I still can't believe I forgot my own birthday though." I remarked.

"I know me either." He responded with an amused chuckle.

"It's because of you and all the insane things you do to me." I joked poking him in his ribs.

"Here's another insane thing…" he grinned. I looked at him puzzled. He stood up swiftly, heaved me up, and dipped me like we were dancing. I giggled as I stared into his pools of deep brown "Happy Birthday Renesmee Carlie Cullen." He whispered and then he enveloped my lips in a passionate kiss. Electricity spiraled through my body like a wild fire. But after a few short seconds he pulled away and stood us both up. Oh how this boy can get my blood flowing he had no idea. I sat back on the bed grinning like idiot and he sat back beside me. It was weird ever since he confessed he loved me he hadn't once told me I love you. I wonder if I should say it first? But this is bi-polar boy… One little thing could send running for the hills again and to be honest I really doubt I could handle that again. I shuttered at the thought. Everything was so perfect right now. Jake gazed at the clock and exhaled.

"It's pretty late." He voiced miserably.

"Well go look for him and come back to me." I replied just as sad because I knew without a doubt I was going to be in pain from him being gone…physically and emotionally. I'm sure this is in no way healthy being this attached to someone. Oh well…

"Yeah I should go so I can get back." he said in agreement. With that he got off my bed and lifted my face to his for a sweet yet shocking kiss. "Go to sleep I'll be back as soon as I can." I nodded and watched him as he walked out of my room and closed the door behind him. I clambered into bed and waited for the pain, and sure enough there it was like clockwork. I sighed and rolled over ready for a sleepless nights rest but oddly enough I slipped into a deep slumber.

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**I know i don't really deserve reviews but let me tell you they do help if it wasn't for them i still probably wouldn't have rewritten this...So tell me your thoughts? Thankss.**


	13. Chapter 13

**SM did it.**

**A/N: So that was a better update than six months right? i'm trying to get better. i hope you like this chapter and i really appreciate those of you who reviewed it means the world to me! so make my day reviews please? well Enjoy!**

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I ventured into the woods where the confrontation happened today and slipped out of my clothes to phase. I couldn't help but to wonder if I should tell Nessie soon about the imprint. Especially after that conversation we had in the woods this afternoon. If I knew Nessie and I did, it was going to take a lot of work to get back on her good side once I told her because she was going to be fucking furious...i would have to think about it more later.

I could feel the shaking engulf my body as I began to phase and as soon as I was wolf I could smell a faint scent of Seth and my other pack members. I shot off following the trail of Seth as close as I could but he was smart, he walked in circles and walked through water so it made it harder for us to track him and it would also make the scent fade faster. I've been here before and if he doesn't want to be found I guarantee he's not going to be. About ten miles from the house my nose nearly caught on fire as I crossed the powerful scent of vampire…but not one I'm used to and one I've never smelled before. I wonder if I should keep following Seth's scent or see where this one is going? I decided to follow Seth because his trail was rapidly fading away. I kept following Seth's odor until I reached a road where he must have got into a car because the smell disappeared altogether. Damn it. Now there was no chance I would find him I wouldn't even know where to begin, Forks maybe? I doubt it. I turned back around and bolted back towards Nessie and home. Soon enough I was on the trail of the unknown Vamp and I decided I would track it. One because this could potentially be a threat and two I had to wait until around seven when Embry would phase and take over looking for Seth. I journeyed down the coast assuming the vamp came from the water and followed it until it like Seth's scent vanished altogether. I started running back towards home just as the sun was rising, and I could feel my throbbing heart mending as my heap of clothes came into view. I plopped down on the ground in wolf form still and rested my head on my paws waiting. After a few minutes Embry's voice invaded my mind.

"Hey Jake any sign?" he questioned sadly.

"No I lost his scent about ten miles north…I didn't want to go all the way to forks but I think that's where you should go. I'm pretty sure Quil will take over at one and most likely he'll have to head to Canada." I replied back.

"What's this about a new vampire scent?" Embry asked quizzically.

"I'm not really sure. I ran across it and decided to look more into it but I lost the trail just as I suspected I would; at the water."

"Do you know where it started?" he questioned

"No I think it started and ended at the water. Why it came here I have no idea but I'll be sure to let the Cullen's know so we can all keep an eye on the situation." I answered.

"Good idea Jake, well I'm headed to Forks go get some sleep your thoughts are giving me a headache I can't make out a single formed thought." He commented amused.

"That's because I can't form them. Let me know if you find anything." I said just as I phased back. I slipped into my clothes and made my way up to my room. As I reached it I glanced at the clock that said 6:45…there was really no point of me sleeping until after I dropped Nessie off at school some dumb tests she has to take...stupid Saturday testing. I stumbled to my big comfortable bed that was definitely calling me and fell face forward onto it. I could feel the cloud of exhaustion overcome me when I felt the bed shift.

"Hey Jake, I'm just gonna drive myself to school today while you sleep." I heard Nessie's sweet voice ring out.

"No I can drive you." I mumbled into the mattress. I turned my head to look at her but my eyes kept slipping shut.

"Jake you can barely keep your eyes open." She remarked with an amused chuckle.

"No, No I'll wake up." I replied groggily trying to get up. Nessie pushed me back on the bed and gave me a soft kiss on my lips.

"No just sleep I'll be home at 2:45. Okay?" she said back laughing. I nodded my head, got off the bed and pulled her into a hug.

"Be safe and hurry back to me." I whispered from her hair. She nodded into my chest and pulled away.

"Have fun sleeping i… I…I'll see you when I get home." She said awkwardly as she walked out of my room. What was that about? I sighed, stripped down to my boxers and climbed into the warmth of my bed, upon my head hitting the pillow I was out.

_It was close to dusk and I was standing alone in the forest trying to see into the steady darkening woods. But it was becoming darker at a much faster pace than normal. Something in my gut told me to walk deeper, so I started walking slowly forward. I guess I didn't realize in the beginning but my heart was beating erratically like it does when I'm away from Nessie because as I walked closer I could feel it mending which means I was getting closer to her. It was almost pitch black now but I could see something on the ground with a faint glow to it. As I moved closer I could tell it was a body, and I knew immediately it was Nessie...i started sprinting as fast as I could to her but she just kept getting further and further away, all of a sudden my whole body started to hurt and I couldn't move from all the pain. I dropped to the ground and all I could do was yell Nessie's name. I could see piercing red eyes and the glow of the pale skin contrasting against the dark night._

Next thing I know I was staring at the wall with my heart racing and sweat pouring off me in buckets.

"Jake?" a concerned voice questioned. I rolled over quickly to Bella staring at me with an alarmed expression on her face.

"Hey Bells, what's wrong?" I croaked out.

"You tell me. Edward said you were having a nightmare and then you started screaming Nessie's name…not to mention you heart is beating faster than I've ever heard it and your drenched in sweat." She stated anxiously.

"Well yeah I guess I was having a nightmare…" I retold Bella the dream as she just nodded attentively not saying much. "But to be honest I think I'm just worried because I ran across an unknown vampire scent and it kind of freaked me out." I added on the end earnestly.

"I sure hope you're right…I'm going to talk to Edward and see what he thinks of this. Finishing getting some rest Jake you look awful." She said with a forced grin and glided out of the room. I knew she was more worried than what she was letting on and so was I. I looked at the clock that read 9:30 and sighed. I better get some more sleep because the sleep that I've gotten so far hasn't exactly been restful. I rolled over to face the wall a little nervous about going back to sleep. What if I have that horrible dream again? To my satisfaction I fell back asleep to dreamless slumber. The next time I woke up the clock read two o'clock and I felt a lot better. I rolled over and looked at my phone to which had a text from Embry.

_Hey Jake just letting you know we didn't find anything…Quil is on his way to canada. We'll let you know what happens._

I sighed and set my phone back down on the night stand. This is all a waste of time…but I better get cleaned up before Nessie gets home. I flung my legs over the side of my bed and stretched all of my long limbs. I fumbled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to wash up. I started the glorious shower and let the warm water release some of the tension in my body. After about ten minutes I got out dried off and dressed in some casual basketball shorts and a plain white T. I decided to wait for Nessie to eat even though I was starving; I guess I'll just go talk to Edward and Bella about the rouge Vampire. I waltz down the hall to their room and knocked ever so slightly on the door.

"We are down stairs Jacob." I could hear Bella say from two floors away. I wandered down the halls and found the whole family minus Nessie in the living room.

"We were just discussing your discovery." Doc informed me as I sat down on the ground next to a grumpy Pixie.

"So what do you think? Is it a threat?" I questioned quickly looking at Doc anxiously.

"At this point we can't be sure we have Alice trying to see something but we think you and Nessie may be directly linked to this because there seems to be holes in Alice's visions." He stated.

"So you think Nessie's in danger?" I asked more anxiety sweeping over me.

"No that's not what we think. Don't go jumping to conclusions Jacob. We just think that because you are two are involved Alice can't see what's going to unfold." Doc explained.

"Okay, so what are we going to do?" I inquired.

"We are just going to have to keep a closer eye on the perimeter. If we suspect anything else we'll take different precautions." He answered back simply.

"Okay should we tell Nessie?" Doc looked to Edward who in turn shook his head.

"I don't see why, we wouldn't want to worry her over something that isn't a problem just yet." Doc answered back. I nodded and knew that Nessie wouldn't be worried about herself but about everyone else…everyone else who is damn near indestructible. I slid my phone out of my pocket and anxiously looked at the clock. 2:25, damn time was dragging on. I still had twenty minutes until she was home, and I needed to see her after the dream I had and all this talk of potential danger.

"Well it seems Renesmee was released early from school because she's about three miles away." Edward commented through his teeth. I jumped up from the floor and bolted outside to wait for her and sure enough my heart started piecing itself back together and then there she was; Her and her red mustang cruising up into the driveway. She had the car off for no more than five seconds before she was stumbling out of it. She looked beautiful as always in some torn up jeans a fitted Bebe t-shirt and a pair of black flats. I met her half way and had her in my arms in seconds.

"Damn it. It seems like it gets harder and harder to be away from you!" She exclaimed into my chest.

"I know what you mean. I missed you so much." I mumbled back into her hair.

"Nothing is coming out of this education I don't see why I can't just skip it all and go to college with you and the pack." She grumbled her face still buried in my chest.

"Don't I wish too but you need to graduate and go through life as normal as possible for right now. We have an eternity to be together…literally" I said pulling away so I could look into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Fine, I guess you're right." She replied with a huff. She crossed her arms and jutted out her plump lower lip and all I could do was laugh.

"Come on cry baby lets go eat I'm starving." I said throwing my arm over her shoulder and guiding her into the house. I let her go in the foyer so she could say hi to the family and followed the enticing aroma of Esme's cooking. When I walked in kitchen sitting on the counter was two plates, one with three Panini's and the other only had one. I flopped down on the bar stool and picked up one of the mouthwatering sandwiches and took a gigantic bite. It was like always: amazing. A few seconds later Nessie sat down next to me with a weird expression on, was it apprehension?

"What's wrong?" I questioned through a mouthful of food.

"Nothing." She replied taking a bite of her Panini.

"Ness I know there is something wrong." I said setting my food back on the plate and turning my full attention to her.

"Nothing…anything new with Seth?" she inquired changing the subject.

"Nope, nothing new and he doesn't want to be found." I replied earnestly as I took another bite.

"What do you mean he doesn't want to found?" she queried.

"The way he ran his path…he knew we were going to try and track him so he ran in circles and through water to avert us and then his scent disappeared."

"So now what?" she asked worry filling her voice.

"Embry was looking in forks for him, and he didn't find him just like I knew he wouldn't, so now Quil is on his way to Canada… There is only so much we can do…I think I'm gonna call Leah to see if she wants to help." I answered back.

"Do you think she will?"

"I do. Leah is the one person who knows what he is going through, I'm sure she'll want to help." I stated honestly. She nodded as she ate the last mouthful of her food. I sure hope Leah would want to help him she really is the only one who knows what he's going through. But I don't know Leah anymore not since she left years ago, she calls every once in a while, and she would phase just to stop aging. But no one knows her anymore; not even her own mother. Damn that girl knows how to hold a grudge…

"So how was school?" I questioned through a mouthful.

"Eh you know school was school." She said trying to sound casual, but I knew there was something else going on I knew that from the moment she said 'nothing'.

"Ness come on…" I said frustration easing into my voice.

"What do you mean?" she asked looking taken aback. A little too much…I sighed and shook my head.

"Renesmee, I've known you since your birth. I think I know when something's bothering you." I replied staring at her while she avoided my gaze.

"Yeah and what makes you think you know me so well Jacob Black?" she shot back menacingly.

"Like this now trying to change the subject yet again." I said back with a grin.

"Okay I'll tell you, just not now...we need to talk in a few." She whispered back hesitantly. Oh boy this is scary. She surveyed me for a second and I guess she could see how I was panicking because as much as I knew her, she knew me equally as well.

"Oh Jake it's nothing for you to be worried about…if anything I'm the one who needs to worry." She replied sadly. Why the hell would she need to worry I would do anything for that girl does she not know that? Maybe I haven't been doing such a good job in showing her that she means the world to me…

"Okay, I'll call Leah and then we can go for a walk?" I asked.

"Sure I guess that sounds good, I'll go change and meet you in the back yard in ten?"

"Sure, sure." I said with a nod. With that she hopped off the stool and went out of sight. My mind was racing what the fuck could she want to talk about. Maybe she's changed her mind about that dick 'whats his face'…Breath Jake. I told myself as I cleaned off our dishes and wandered to the back yard. I yanked out my phone and found Leah's number. Well here goes nothing. After two rings Leah's voice leaked out of the ear piece.

"Hello?" she said shock filling her tone. I mean I can see why she's surprised I've only talked to her a few times on the phone and that was when I just happened to be over at Charlie and Sue's for Christmas and she was calling to wish them happy holidays or something like that.

"Hey Leah."

"Uh hey Jake what's up?" she asked casually.

"Well uh something happened." I stated back vaguely.

"What happened Jake? Is everyone okay? Is anyone hurt?" She spewed out quickly worry filling her every word.

"Everyone is physically okay." I commented beating around the bush.

"Jacob don't play fucking games with me." She shot back. Ah there's the Leah I know and love.

"Well Seth is missing…."I commented.

"What do you mean he's…missing?" she questioned back anxiously.

"He was in love and Embry imprinted on his girl." I rambled out. I heard her take a quick intake of breath and then it went silent on the line. "Leah?" I questioned.

"Mhm. I'm here." She whispered back.

"What do we do?" I asked imploringly.

She sighed and I could hear the pain in every word she spoke. "There's nothing you can do…he's in a lot of pain the only thing you can do is give him space."

"I know and he doesn't want to be found he hasn't phased all day." I replied softly.

"My brother is a lot calmer and kinder than I am, which means he can control his phasing better and he won't do what I did…punish the whole pack because of his heart break, he'll learn to cope and mend his heart on his own and then he'll resurface." She commented.

"Should we stay phased to see if he phases to find him?" I asked.

"No, just let him come around on his own time. It won't be long until he reemerges." She stated firmly.

"I sure hope your right Leah, you and I both know how it feels to be here and it's not easy." I guess that was the wrong thing to say to her because she started going insane.

"Yeah Jacob, but you got to take the easy way out! I had to suffer through my pain until I got through it and now Seth will have to also!" she screeched angrily.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that Leah even though I got to take the 'easy' way out it doesn't mean that still didn't hurt. But you should know that I had no control over what happened." I snapped back defensively. Just then the back door opened and out Nessie walked in a pair of dark jeans a gray fitted hoodie and a pair of sweet ass purple Nike dunks. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun and her face wore a mask… her face said everything…shit this is worse than I thought huh?

"Well don't act like you can remember the pain Jake, because ever since you…."

"Look Leah I have to go. But I'll call you if we find anything else and I hope you'll do the same." I said quickly cutting her off before she said something about me imprinting on Nessie.

"Fine." Was all she said before the line went dead. I looked to Nessie and shook my head.

"That bad huh?" she asked sympathetically.

"Oh you have no idea, ready?" I asked exasperated. She nodded, walked over to me, intertwined our fingers and started walking into the woods. I walked silently beside her for a while until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Ness, what's going on?" I pleaded. She avoided looking at me and kept looking and walking straight ahead as she answered.

"What are we Jacob?" she asked in a monotone. What? Does she know she's my imprint?

"What do you mean?" I questioned slowly. She stopped and looked at me in the eyes.

"What are we are we? Are we official and together like boyfriend and girlfriend, or are we friends with benefits? What?" she rambled out quickly. She dropped her eyes to her feet where she was making shapes in the dirt. Was this what all the fretting was about, her wanting to know if we were 'official'? didn't she know she was more than any of those things to me?...well I guess no she doesn't because she doesn't know she's my imprint yet. Maybe I should just tell her? I chuckled a little at the absurdity of friends with benefits. I put my hand under her chin and directed her eyes back to mine.

"Renesmee, we are whatever you want us to be if you need the label of 'boyfriend and girlfriend' then so be it…but to be honest Ness you're so much more than that to me." I replied genuinely. She smiled and wrapped her small arms around my waist.

"I'm glad you feel that way too Jake…I feel like you're my…well you're my soul mate…" she said. "But we all know that's not true because only your imprint is your soul mate." She added in a whisper. That's it I need to tell her.

"Look Renesmee, you're my…you're my…my best friend and my 'girlfriend' and my world. Nothing will ever change that." I said stumbling over my words and changing my mind at the last minute.

"I sure hope not." She said nuzzling deeper into my chest. I chuckled a little and pulled her in tighter to me. She pulled away and sat on a nearby boulder, so I followed and sat next to her.

"What's so funny Mr. Black?" She questioned feigning anger.

"Was this really what was bothering you?" I asked amused as I flung my arm over her shoulder.

"Yeah, because everyone was asking about you and I didn't know what to tell them." she replied sincerely, cuddling into my side.

"Why didn't you just tell them we were together?" I asked genuinely interested in why she didn't.

"Because of the Jacob Black PMS…" She said with a wide grin. What the hell?

"The Jacob Black what?" I asked kind of repulsed.

"PMS. Oh come on Jake for a while there you were one confused puppy. The weirdest things would set you off. And with things going so well I didn't want you to freak out about the whole title thing and go all nuts again and say we have to stop whatever it is were doing." She rambled exasperated. Like I should know what she's talking about. I rolled my eyes that she still didn't trust my word.

"Ness I told you things weren't gonna be that way anymore I'm fully committed to this. There's no turning back now." I shot back defensively.

"Good. That makes two of us." She said smiling a blinding smile at me. I grinned back and jumped off the boulder pulling her with me. I fell to the ground and made sure she fell on top of me. She stared into the depths of my soul with her beautiful brown eyes that sparkled in any kind of lighting until I had to kiss her. I caught her lips in a shocking kiss that moved perfectly with me that there was no doubt in my mind these lips were meant for mine. I pulled away quickly and put my forehead on hers.

"I Love you." I whispered. Her fruity breath was caressing my lips as she answered back.

"I Love you too." She gave me a sweet peck on the lips and hopped up to her feet. "We'd better get back it's getting cold." I nodded and sprang to my feet, grabbed her extended hand and intertwined our fingers. We walked back to the house in a comfortable silence both of us lost in our own thoughts. All I can think about is when and how I am going to tell her she's my imprint. That's going to be a hard day for everyone. We walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. Everyone had pretty much dispersed except for Blondie, Esme, and Emmett.

"Where is everyone?" Nessie asked.

"Your mom and dad went on a grocery run for you guys, Jasper and Alice went for a walk and your Grandfather had to go to the hospital for a bit." Esme replied setting the book she was reading down on her lap. Just then the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Nessie said jumping up from the couch. I could hear her open the door and the word that came out of her mouth surprised me…just like her because her voice was filled with shock.

"Tayvien!"

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**Uh-Oh...so let me know what you think! Reviews help motivate me! so review please! **


	14. Chapter 14

**SM did it all. :)**

**A/N: okay so i'm sorry it took so long but i had major writers block which is why it skips drastically. But i must tell you those last few sporadic reviews are what forced me to sit in front of my computer for hours until i was done. So they really do help with out them i probably wouldnt have pounded this out. i hope you like it let me know what you think. **

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**NPOV**

"Tayvien?" I exclaimed shocked at seeing him of all people. He was standing on the porch with a stupid grin plastered across his arrogant face. What the fuck is he doing here? I better get him out of here quick before Jake comes and rips his face off. I pushed him out of my way and tugged the door shut behind me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I spat venomously.

"I had to see you. I'm not satisfied with the way we ended things… I mean you didn't even give me a chance to show you my excellent kissing skills." He replied smugly. All of a sudden he smashed his rough thin lips on mine. Then of course the expected happened… Jake flung the door open and grabbed Tayvien by the scruff of his neck and tossed him into the wall. I stood rooted on the spot not really knowing what to do.

"Jake, Stop it!" I wailed after it registered to me that had to do something before Jake slaughtered him. At this point Jake had his forearm crushing Tayviens jugular up against the wall of the house while a stream of low and fierce words flowed out of his mouth. I couldn't concentrate enough to understand what he was saying because it was scary seeing this side of Jake… he was so…so…forceful. After a few more seconds I could see Tayvien starting to turn colors and his feet were slowly inching away from the ground until he was at least a foot off of it. I had to do something before he killed him. So I did the first thing that came to mind…

"Emmett!" I yelled and no less than a tenth of a second later Uncle Emmett was barreling through the door with a grin on, going to pull Jake off of the poor stupid boy.

"Come on pup, we don't want to murder him." He said trying to detain a trembling Jake. "I told you not to try any fast ones." He added smirking at Tayvien. I shot Uncle Emmett a look and he knew he should shut up and go, so he started dragging Jake towards the woods, but not before calling Aunt Rosalie to come keep an eye on Tayvien. I could tell Jake was conflicted with himself…he didn't know if he wanted to go, or stay. I was glad he didn't stay because I'm sure he would have phased, and that sure would have been hard to explain to Tayvien. I slowly crept over to Tayvien who was on the ground in the corner clutching his neck and coughing uncontrollably. I knelt down so I was eye level to see if he was alright.

"Are you okay?" I questioned with a slight tremble in my voice.

"Am I okay? Am I okay? That psychopath tried to kill me! What do you think?" he choked out. Aunt Rosalie chuckled from her post at the door and kept leaning against the frame looking uninterested.

"Look I'm sorry he's a bit…overprotective. But I should tell you that I told him about our little spat that day in the cafeteria and trust me it took all I had to convince him not to hunt you down and kill you right then and there." I retorted defensively.

"Well that doesn't give him the right to nearly murder me!" he said getting up so fast I lost my balance and fell backwards into a beam. A growl slipped from Aunt Rosalie's throat as she went on guard.

"I'm okay" I whispered under my breath knowing only she would hear. But she stayed at attention staring intently at him. I got up and brushed myself off before I answered collectively.

"Your right Tayvien, but being told no also doesn't give you the right to put your hands on a girl and call her a bitch, so I guess we can forget this ever happened then, right? Because as far as I'm concerned Jake was just protecting me from a lunatic hell bent on getting revenge on me, just because I told him no." I forgot that Aunt Rosalie didn't know about that so a menacing growl rumbled deep and low in her chest. I shook my head at her, letting her know it was no big deal.

"I have people in high places that could put that son of a bitch where he deserves to be." He yelled back ferociously. Aunt Rosalie walked slowly over to in front of Tayvien making him cower with fear. Hell I'd be afraid too if that look was being directed at me. It was something I've definitely never seen from her before.

"Listen here you little runt, nobody threatens my family… I'm going to give you two options… one: you get the fuck off my property and forget this little get-together ever happened. You don't look at, think about, or even try to talk to my little sister and you'll be just fine. Or option two you can be a dumb ass and whine to somebody about how Jake kicked your ass and or try a fast one on Nessie and that will result in me hunting you down and I'll make Jake look like a fucking joke…I will tear you apart and I can make it so no one can track it back to me, you can count on that. So I suggest you leave and don't let me hear from you or see you ever again." She seethed viciously sweet. Tayviens eyes were the size of dinner plates as he took in Aunt Rosalie and the rage that was radiating off of her. He looked at me and bolted towards his car. He nearly dove in it and a second later he started it and sped down the drive. I couldn't help but marvel at Aunt Rosalie.

"What?" She asked casually as she glided into the house.

"Don't act like you don't know." I replied amused right behind her. "You defended Jake and called him your family!" she stopped in her tracks and spun around so she was looking me in the eyes.

"He will never find out, right my darling niece?" She questioned back with a grin. "We can't change the dynamic of things, I like the way they are."

"Never find out about what?" I inquired back feigning innocent. She answered back with a smile and a peck on the cheek. Then she turned around and disappeared back in the living room. I on the other hand needed to find out if Jake was okay. He looked like he was about to phase when he was dragged away, so I turned back to the door and booked it out of the house. I thought I could skip all of the stairs and make it out unscratched. But of course I fell and skidded across the pavement, because I am in no way coordinated enough to jump six stairs and land on my feet. After I pulled myself up and brushed myself off I started sprinting to where Uncle Emmett took Jake. I could feel warm blood trickling down my arms from where I slammed into the ground but that didn't matter to me because I needed to find him. After about five minutes of running I broke into a clearing and Jake was already standing waiting for me expectantly. I ran to his open arms and buried my face into his chest like always.

"I'll leave you two crazy kids alone." Uncle Emmett commented amused and then he was gone.

"Are…You…Okay?" I managed to choke out winded into his chest.

"I'm fine, are you okay Nessie? What happened after Emmett dragged me away? And why are you bleeding? Did he do something to you?" he babbled out his anger starting to rise in his voice. I shook my head into his chest and waited until I could catch my breath to answer.

"Nothing happened. I fell you know me. But Aunt Rose threatened Tayvien and told him not to come back or she'd shred him and he ran away." I replied with a shrug. He pushed me away from him and grabbed my hands to look at the healing cuts.

"Are you okay Nessie?" he questioned seriously, trying to assess my wounds.

"Yes I'm fine. I just fell trying to find you." I replied casually tugging my hand away hiding it behind my back.

"And mentally you're okay?" he asked in a small voice. To be honest I didn't have time to comprehend what just happened. How freaky it was to see Jake pissed…I mean I've seen him mad before…but this, this was a whole new level.

"Uh yeah Jake I'm fine, just a little shaken up." I admitted sincerely as I finally started to grasp the situation.

"Why?" he asked anxiously.

"It was uh… intense seeing you that mad." I replied honestly. He averted his eyes, let go of me and turned to walk away. I caught his arm before he could get too far. "Jake?" I asked a little confused by this reaction.

"I didn't want you to see me this way." He whispered still turned away from me. "It's just he put his hands on you I couldn't let him get away with that. You are my heart and soul Nessie." He said spinning around and crushing his lips to mine. This kiss was different then all the rest we've had, there was fire behind it. I tangled my hands in his hair as he backed us into a tree and pushed me against it. Caught in the moment I bit his bottom lip and pushed my tongue into his mouth. He gladly accepted and continued to kiss me like this for a few more minutes. He pulled away panting and out of breath like me.

"What was that all about?" I asked breathless.

"I don't know what came over me I just know I needed to kiss you. Did you not like it?" he inquired smugly.

"It was amazing." I replied with a grin. He grinned back and snaked his arm around my waist.

"Come on let's go back inside, we seem to spend way too much time in these woods." I nodded and walked at his side quietly as he guided me through the woods. The house came into view so I came to a halt before we went in. he turned and looked at me with a puzzled expression on.

"What's wrong Nessie?" he questioned. I placed my hands on each cheek and pulled his face down so I was staring into his breath taking brown eyes.

"I love you Jacob Black and I always will and don't you ever, ever doubt that." I whispered. A small smile stretched across his face.

"I love you too Nessie, more than anything in this world." He replied quietly as he continued to stare intently into my eyes. I pulled him close so our lips just barley brushed and pulled away. I put a foot of distance between us just in case my dad was around and walked into the house.

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"Nessie, will you please sit still?" Aunt Alice nearly growled as she put a light blush on my cheek.

"But it didn't take this long when you got me ready the first time." I complained impatiently. Aunt Alice sucked her teeth and rolled her yellow eyes at me.

"That's because the first time was just practice we all knew it wasn't going to go anywhere Nessie." She replied exasperated. "But I swear if I have to tell you not to move one more time I'm going to tie you to this damn chair."

"Are we at least almost done?" I whined shifting in my seat for the hundredth time that minute. Her answer was her narrowing her eye at me giving me the death look, so I decided to sit still and shut up because things would probably go a lot faster if I wasn't moving.

I had been sitting in this chair for at least a minimum of two hours doing my hair and makeup for mine and Jake's first real date to the ballet. It was just Aunt Alice this time and I'm not quite sure why. The whole week had surprisingly passed without a hitch. Tayvien had already moved onto the next girl, some transfer sophomore and stayed away from me at all times. He even transferred out of the class he was in with me. But at home however everyone in the house did seem a little on edge… I don't know if it was because of the Jake and Tayvien incident, which I don't know why it would be? Or maybe everyone just felt…I don't know weird about mine and Jake's progressing relationship. I mean we definitely didn't do the PDA thing in front of anyone, but it's not like they didn't know we sneak off to get make out sessions in…although no kiss has yet to come anywhere near the kiss we had after the whole Tayvien thing. But I honestly don't think everyone is uncomfortable because of mine and Jake's relationship either. The only one who seems to have a problem with the whole thing is my dad. Even then we hardly even touched in front of him anymore because he was having such a hard time with this whole thing. And I'm pretty sure most of the time my mom is walking around with her shield up because the smallest things have been setting him off and it's just better for everyone if she keeps it up. But in my defense I've been trying not to think about Jake, it's just too hard… I find my mind on him like ninety-eight percent of the time. What can I say? I'm in love. My mom told me she's the same way with my dad though too…So he can make himself miserable or he can accept this because Jake and I made a promise neither one is going back on.

"Done!" Aunt Alice exclaimed after she finished applying sweet smelling cherry lip gloss.

"Finally!" I babbled excitedly as I jumped up. "Can I see yet?" I asked inching towards the full wall of mirrors in Aunt Alice's closet. She nodded her head and placed her hands on my shoulders from behind so she could guide me.

"Can you humor me and close your eyes?" she questioned. I nodded and slid my eye lids shut as she led me to where she wanted me to be. "okay." She whispered.

I opened my eyes and I couldn't believe how simple the outfit was, but how different I looked. The dress was a silk teal Marc Jacob's dress. It flowed loosely just past my knees with a tight halter bust line, it was strapless with a simple black sash right under my boobs that tied in a pretty black bow in the back. And the shoes…oh my gosh the shoes. They were four inches of perfection. They had a thin strap with blue silk bound around it right above the toes and they tied up my leg with a thick black silk ribbon. The soles were teal and complimented the dress perfectly. My hair was pulled half up half down with a cascading waterfall of tight curls and it was pinned up with a pretty teal clip. My makeup was subtle but it was there. My eyes had a light coat of teal eye shadow, light mascara and thin eyeliner that made my eyes pop. Also there was a light blush and the ending touch was the cherry lip gloss. I looked at Aunt Alice and beamed.

"Do you like it?" she asked bouncing on her tippy toes.

"I love it! Do you think Jake will?" I inquired honestly.

"Of course he will Nessie! Has anyone not liked my artwork?" She replied with a grin. I had to give her that. I've seen pictures from Mom and Dad's wedding day and man was my mother breath taking. Aunt Alice grabbed my hand and started pulling me out of the room. This time was a lot different than the first time I went on a date. For one thing there was no grand entrance for me, per my request. And another huge factor is that I am utterly head over heels in love with the guy waiting for me. As we reached the foyer a rush of butterflies erupted, catching me by surprise. I don't know why but all of a sudden I felt nervous. Aunt Alice came to a stop.

"Are you okay Nessie?" she questioned genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine why?" I answered back.

"Because your heart just broke out into a sprint and your palms got all sweaty" she commented.

"I guess I'm just excited." I lied shrugging it off casually. She gave me a warm smile and pulled me into the family room where everyone was sitting expectantly looking towards the archway. The first face I picked out of the crowd was his...I can't even explain the look on his beautiful face when I walked in. After a few seconds my favorite smile in the world spread across his gorgeous face lighting up the whole room. He looked so handsome in all black and a teal tie that matched my dress. As I locked in on his gaze, even though I've always known it I knew he was my life no matter what happens… imprint or not I would fight to the death for him. I could see mom take grandma's hand as the tearless sobs threatened to escape as she smiled. It was like everything was frozen until Uncle Emmett wolf whistled and then the room broke out in streams of compliments; telling me how pretty I looked and how well Aunt Alice did. All I did was stand in the midst hugging everyone but really wanting to go. Not that I didn't appreciate all of their kind words but Jake and I deserve this…A night with no interruptions, a night with not having to worry about someone in our heads, a night not having to sneak away to get a kiss in. It was just going to be us for a full night and I couldn't wait. Uncle Jasper must have picked up on my feelings because he cleared his throat over the chattering.

"It's getting close to show time don't want them to be late now would we." He announced giving me a wink. I gave him a 'thank you' look and a smile and turned to everyone else and nodded my head.

"He's right we still have to drive into the city." Jake commented coming to my side…somewhere he should have been all along. Everyone agreed, bid us our good-byes and told us to be safe.

As we reached the last person…my dad, he narrowed his eyes at the pair of us and spoke in a strained tone.

"Midnight. If you're not home by then, you can kiss this privilege good-bye. Be safe and be home by midnight you hear me mutt?" He said directing the last part at Jake. Jake and I both nodded and with that he gave me a quick peck on the cheek and left the room. Jake intertwined our fingers and started leading me out to his range rover. Like a true gentleman he opened my door, helped me up and closed it after I was securely in. As he walked around the car the butterflies fluttered again. I don't know why I was nervous this was Jake...the boy I love I have no need to be nervous. As I continued to tell myself that over and over I could feel the butterflies of nerves being replaced by butterflies of excitement. He got in, turned the car on and we were off. He flipped the radio on to low classical and intertwined our fingers.

"So I assume you turn into a pumpkin at midnight?" He asked with a grin.

"I guess so. But apparently so do you." I answered back jokingly.

"It would seem your right. Damn I never thought there would be a day where I would be afraid of a vampire." He responded with a scoff.

"Wait you're afraid of my dad?" I wondered amused.

"No, no I should have worded that differently. I'm not afraid of your dad by any means. I'm afraid of the authority he has." He replied.

"I see what you mean. It just sucks that we have to walk on egg shells around him. I just wish he would get over it and accept us…he didn't make this big of a deal when I went out with that asshole. I mean he was pissy, but there were no threats." I said exasperated.

"No but I think I know why."

"Why?" I asked genuinely interested.

"Because Ness, everyday…no, every second that I'm with you I fall more and more in love with you. And I think he knows that every day you're with me is just another day you get further away from him." I could feel my eyes begin to well up with tears and a small tear escaped and ran down my cheek. "Why are you crying?" Jake asked anxiously trying to keep his eyes on the road and focus on me at the same time.

"They're happy tears Jake. I don't know why but my emotions are running wild right now and what you said about falling more in love with me was so sweet." I answered back truthfully. He started rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand as he went back to paying full attention to the road.

"I'm just being honest Nessie. When I say you mean the world to me I speak nothing less than the truth…you are my world, without you I have no reason to live." He commented casually. He was so absolutely amazing. He really knows how to make me fall madder and madder in love with him. But something about that sentence didn't seem right.

"But wait…so if something happened to me and I died, you would move on right?" I questioned sincerely concerned.

"That's not exactaly what I meant, but I don't even want to talk about that." I could see him flush in the soft moonlight and I was so captivated by him I could even hear his heart beat quicken. He wouldn't end his life would he? I felt bad for pushing the subject when we were having such a nice time, but I needed to know just in case.

"Really Jake I need to know…" I whispered quietly.

"No." he said flatly.

"No, what?" I asked imploringly.

"No I wouldn't move on. If you weren't on this Earth anymore, I would find a way to kill myself." He replied in a hollow kind of voice staring straight ahead. Whoa what? Not that I plan on dying anytime soon, but if I did I had to know he would be okay. Just the thought of him trying to kill himself nearly brought me to hysterics. Just as I was about to start hyperventilating he pulled into the parking lot of an extravagant building.

"You can't do that! You have to promise me you'll be okay and move on with your life!" I practically screamed. He pulled up to the valet, turned the car off and looked directly into my eyes.

"I promised you I would never lie to you so I'm not going to start now… No, without you, there is no me…If you were…d…dead I would have no reason for living either. You are my life. You're my...well you're my world. Don't you see I can't live without you!" he rambled out passionately. "Would you live without me?" he questioned. "And answer honestly. Don't just say yes to use reverse psychology and think it's going to make me change my mind, because my answer will be that no matter what happens." He added quickly. I thought for a minute. Would I ever live without Jake? Immediately I knew I couldn't live without him. I would do the same thing if something ever happened to him. I sighed. When did I fall so in love with him?

"I guess you're right."

"And I'm not going to try and change your mind because if I know you…and I do there's no point." He replied. I smiled and nodded because he was so right. He leaned over the arm rest in the middle and gave me an electrified kiss. He pulled away, got out and came around to open my door and help me out. I decided it was time for a subject change. I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers as we walked to the valet who was in a nice black tuxedo. Jake handed him the keys and told him to take care of his baby. I rolled my eyes as we started walking into the beautiful building.

"I'm so excited I haven't seen a ballet in forever!" I babbled out excitedly taking in my surroundings.

"I'm glad, I feel so bad you stopped doing the things you love." He answered stopping so he could give a thin man with a thick salt and pepper mustache our tickets.

"You'll be in box thirteen. This kind man will show you there." He said pointing to a short and portly man in a black suit. Jake and I thanked the man and followed the other closely behind.

"You were saying that you felt bad because I gave up things that I love, but I found other things that I love to occupy my time…you." I said reaching on my tip toes to peck him on the cheek… Which was not a good idea while walking in heels being as clumsy as I am, because I just about fell over. Of course Jake caught me with a chuckle and led me until I was back in to sync with him. At this point the small stout man had stopped at a set of doors.

"Box thirteen." He squeaked with a small smile. Jake thanked him and shook his hand. "Why thank-you sir, enjoy the show!" he replied and vanished. Jake opened the door and led me to my seat. I sat down slowly still marveling at my surroundings. I looked to Jake after a minute or so and he had a grin on.

"What are you grinning at?" I asked amused.

"You, you're like a kid in a candy store for the first time… it's cute." He answered back entertained. I guess I must look like that. Last time I was at the ballet I was "eight" and everything was just as beautiful. But I think being older I have more appreciation for the beauty of it all. Just then the lights began to dim and the musicians began playing soft sweet music. For the next two hours I sat on the edge of my seat enchanted by the stunning fluidity the dancers created. At the end of the performance I was close to tears on my feet applauding like a maniac.

"So how was it?" Jake asked as we waited for the valet to bring up the range rover.

"It was so captivating and beautiful." I said in a dazed voice twirling in a circle.

"I could tell. Your mouth was open majority of the performance…I'm pretty sure I witnessed a string of drool stream out of your mouth." He commented with a chuckle.

"Whatever!" I exclaimed giving him a playful smack on the arm. The valet pulled gently in front of us and came to give Jake the keys. Jake opened my door, helped me in and walked around the car. I guess he was inspecting it to make sure it was okay. After he realized it was fine he gave the guy a bill and came to get in. He pulled away smoothly and we glided down the street.

"I know we have to be home by midnight but it's only ten o'clock and I have another surprise for you." He stated with mischievous smile. I looked at him quizzically. And decided to prod him to see if he would tell me anything, but knowing Jake I was just going to have to be surprised.

"Where are you taking me?" I questioned.

"I'm not telling." He answered back smugly. I sighed and stared out the window hoping it would give me any indication of where we were going. But no luck it was pretty much pitch black out except for the twinkling lights of the city behind us. After about ten minutes he floated cautiously in a parking spot.

"Wait here…please Nessie don't ruin this for me." He practically begged. With that he closed the door and slipped into the darkness. He knew me too well if he didn't sound so desperate for me to stay I would have gotten out right after him and went to see what he was doing. As I was looking at something on my phone, there was a rap on the window causing me to jump so violently I dropped my phone and nearly hit my head on the ceiling. I slowly opened the door, and what was out there surprised me. It was Jake holding a lantern that was lighting up his handsome face with a soft glow.

"Where the hell did that come from?" I asked truly puzzled.

"Come find out." He replied with smile. He took my hand in his free one and held the light out to show a small grassy path surrounded by trees. As we walked further on the path I could just hear soft jazz resonating quietly into the otherwise silent night. I continued to follow him until he stopped and turned off the light and then he led me through the tree line. I gasped as I took everything in. from the breath taking view, to the picnic laid out. There on a small hill overlooking the entire city was a picnic for two. There was a blanket and two candles admitting the only light besides the moon and city light and there was also a small buffet of salad, meat, and veggies. Lastly were the two champagne glasses filled with what I'm guessing was sparkling cider. I could feel the tears begin to well up and spill over as I gazed in awe at the sight in front of me.

"You did this for…for…me?" I stuttered out with the tears flowing like a river. Aunt Alice would kill me if I was messing up my make-up, but I really have no idea why I was so emotional tonight… from the nerves in the beginning to all the tears, everything just seemed too good to be true.

"Well it was my idea, but all the women of the house helped out." He answered back with a smile leading me to the blanket. He let go of my hand and helped me sit and then sat down next to me with his long legs out in front of him. A small grumble growled low in my stomach and I didn't realize how hungry I was until now. With all of the chaos of getting ready today I must have forgotten to eat. I picked up my first plate of salad and started eating. We ate in a comfortable silence as we both just took in the magnificence of the city and the environment.

"I can't believe you did this." I whispered after I finished.

"Am I really that unromantic?" He asked jokingly shifting so he was sitting with his back against a tree.

"No you're perfect… it's just, I feel this is all too perfect like I'm in a dream and I'm gonna wake up from all of this anytime now." I replied genuinely playing with the hem of my dress. He leaned up on his knees, took his jacket off and placed it around my shoulders. Then he placed his hand under my chin, and lifted my face so that I was looking into his deep brown eyes.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, none of this is a dream I'm yours and your mine, so get used to it." He stated softly and then he kissed me. It was soft and gentle, yet electrifying. He pulled away and sat back against the tree pulling me with him so I was sitting in between his legs.

"I love you." He whispered, kissing my neck.

"I love you too." I replied rubbing his arm. We sat there talking until an alarm on his phone alerted us if we didn't want to turn into pumpkins we had to go. I slipped each arm though his jacket and helped him fold the blanket, giving him a quick kiss when we brought the corners in. I draped the blanket over my arm and followed close beside him as he and the light paved the way thought the path. When we finally reached the truck he put everything in the back seat and helped me in. Just as he was about to close the door he snuck a sweet kiss in, pulling back with a smile. As we pulled up into the driveway at 11:55 my stomach plummeted. I didn't want the night to end it was by far one of the best of my life. As we walked up the stairs to the house I stopped him.

"Thank you for the most amazing night of my life." I said softly looking up at him.

"Thank you, for the most amazing night of my life as well." He answered back. He bent down so our lips barley brushed and whispered "I love you." So that I could feel the words form on his lips, but before I could tell him how much I loved him back he caught my lips in a kiss. We pulled back two minutes later and I knew we'd better get inside before my dad freaked out so we walked in the house and into the living room were just my mom was sitting on the couch reading what looked like a first edition book.

"How was your night?" she asked closing the book setting it on the table.

"Phenomenal." I answered back grabbing Jakes hand.

"Where is everyone?" Jake asked taking the words right out of my mouth.

"Around." She replied with a shrug. "No one wanted to badger you tonight about how it went, so I'm just here to make sure you were in by midnight and now that you are I'm going to find your father." She said giving me a peck on the cheek as she walked by. "Goodnight I love you guys." She called back.

"Uh night mom." I replied puzzled.

"Yeah, night Bells." Jake called back just as confused. I looked to Jake with an odd expression on.

"What do yah think this is about?" I questioned.

"Absolutely no idea." He responded shrugging his shoulders. Hmm this is bizarre no huge crowd wanting to know how our night went? I'm a bit confused.

"Walk me to my room?" I asked shrugging off the abnormal feeling.

"Of course." He replied back walking beside me to the stairs. When we reached my door he leaned in and kissed me.

"I'm glad you had a good time." He said after he pulled away.

"Not good…magnificent, amazing, wonderful." I stated smiling.

"Good now go and have a great night sleep. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"I love you too more than word could ever express and you sleep well too." I reached up on my tippy toes and gave him one last kiss goodnight and pushed the door to my room open. I quietly closed my door behind me and leaned against it as I bit my lip trying to hold back a huge smile. That was the best night of my life! I danced to my closet and pulled out a pair of matching pajamas. I slipped Jakes jacket and my dress and shoes off and placed them carefully on the seat in my closet. I pulled the clip out of my hair and let my curls flow freely down my back and slipped my pajamas on. I pranced to my bed and slip under the covers and next thing I knew it I was out.

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**Well What do you think? i hope you like it. i hope i get more reviews to motivate me :). And thanks a HEAP for those of you who did.**


	15. Chapter 15

**You know where credit is due...SM.**

**A/N: Okay i apologize for the late update...but i really want to thank those who reviewed, it lets me know i'm not writing to myself! thanks so much they motivate me and mean the world to me! but here's another chapter i hope you like it, let me know what you think.**

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**JPOV**

I was in my room undressing after the most amazing night of my life. I was still on cloud nine as I slipped my slacks and shirt off and threw them into the hamper. Honestly how did I get so lucky? Nessie was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life and when she walked around that corner tonight my heart nearly stopped. Then it hit me…I was so nervous for things to go along perfectly, not once did I tell her how beautiful she looked. At this point I was down to my boxers but I knew I had to tell her. I shrugged on some basketball shorts and a t-shirt and crept slowly to Nessie's room through the bathroom. She was already sleeping and I hated to wake her but I needed her to know. I tiptoed to her bed, pulled back her curtain and quietly sat down on the edge.

"Ness?" I whispered rubbing her curls. Her eyelids flickered then fluttered opened revealing her beautiful brown eyes.

"Jake, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" She rambled out softly.

"Yes everything's fine and I'm so sorry to wake you up, but I had to tell you how stunningly beautiful you were tonight." I said quietly.

"You woke me up for that?" she asked amused.

"Yeah, I was so worried I was gonna mess things up, it must have slipped my mind…"and I honestly don't know how, because every time I look at her I always say to myself how lucky I am to get to call this beautiful, sweet, caring, fun, amazing girl of my dreams mine. She reached up and pulled my head down to kiss me. I complied but pulled back quickly just in case Bella's shield wasn't up. I didn't need Edward running in here and tearing me apart.

"That was all I needed to say, now go back to bed." I whispered kissing her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too." She whispered back nuzzling deeper into her covers. I got up and was just to the bathroom door when she called out quietly.

"You looked pretty dashing yourself tonight."

"Thanks." I replied with a chuckle and closed the door. I got into bed and waited for the sleep to overcome me, but my mind just would not stop. I started going over that conversation I had When Nessie asked me if she died would I be okay… I almost lost it…just the thought of it sends my heart into a frenzy and makes my stomach reel… especially with this unidentified vamp roaming about. And then I almost told her that she's my imprint. Again. Damn it, this is getting ridiculous I just need to tell her already. But I should wait for the perfect time…Then again when is the perfect time going to be? I don't think there is one… I'm just giving myself that excuse as a way of stalling longer because I know the outcome… I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep because frankly all of this thinking right now is just way too complicated and it's going to drive me fucking insane. But then again I just can't get over how perfect everything is right now, especially Nessie. I decided to try and count sheep to go to sleep, but when I got to one hundred and thirty three there was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I called out. I was expecting Shorty, maybe Bells, even Esme, to come and ask how our night went but I definitely wasn't expecting to see Edward standing in my door way.

"Good evening Jacob." He greeted with an amused chuckle.

"Uh hey Edward what's up? I mean we were home by midnight? Did we do something wrong?" I rambled out.

"No, I came to talk to you." He replied dumping himself in the desk chair.

"Okay shoot." I commented uncertainly.

"Well I actually came to apologize." He said with a bit of a struggle. Apologize?

"For what?" I asked genuinely shocked and interested.

"Well, as you can tell I've been a little on edge." He started. A little? Ha understatement of the year. "Okay, I know I've been hard to live with, but I know you understand where I'm coming from."

"Yes, but to be perfectly honest, you throwing tantrums over everything is just pushing Nessie away from you even more and I know it hurts her, because you do mean a lot to her." I said trying to explain to him what I'm sure he's already picked out of her mind; she's just never put into words for him.

"I know, I know. But it's not easy because it seems like every time Bella removes her shield and I get a glimpse into Renesmee's head its always on you, and it's not always uh…inappropriate things, but she's my daughter, and she's in love, and I've only been her father for six years and already she's ready to give everything up for a boy...most fathers get at least sixteen years. I'm ten short" He replied with a sigh. "It's just frustrating. And that's what I'm here to apologize about, me taking all of my frustrations out on you and Renesmee."

"It's okay; I understand it can't be easy." I said agreeing.

"You have no idea. But I will vow to try and be less hostile towards you and Renesmee." He said quietly.

"Thanks Edward I know it will mean the world to Nessie." I stated. It means something to me too… With that he gave me a nod, said good-night and left the room. Did Edward really just apologize…to me? Weird this night just kept getting better and better. I tried to turn my mind off but I couldn't, so I stumbled out of bed and set out towards the kitchen for a midnight snack and some hot cocoa. When I wandered into the kitchen I was just about to the fridge when Esme walked in.

"Good evening Jacob would you like me to make you something?" she asked sweetly. I could lie, say no and end up eating some concoction I come up with or I could get an amazing snack Esme comes up with… I decided to go the honesty route.

"Only if I'm not taking you away from something." I replied sheepishly.

"Of course not, what would you like?" She answered back sweetly as she looked into the fridge. I walked over to the bar stools and plopped down into the nearest one. "How about some chocolate chip cookies?" she asked before I could answer.

"Mm that sounds perfect." I commented back with a grin. She nodded, turned the oven on and started pulling out all of the ingredients. I sat back and watched her in her element. It still amuses me that she is such a phenomenal cook and she hasn't eaten in decades.

"Uh, Esme I forgot to thank you again for setting up the picnic." I said after a minute or so.

"Oh Jacob, you don't need to thank me..." She responded while mixing everything into a large mixing bowl. "Would you mind if I asked how it went?"

"Of course I don't mind, but Nessie loved it… she cried." I answered back with a smile at the flash backs going through my mind.

"It was a very sweet idea you came up with, I knew she would love it." She stated scooping heaps of dough onto the cookie sheet.

"Eh I try." I shrugged. "So how is everything with you Esme?"

"Oh wonderful thank you for asking, I have everything I could ever want and more." She commented with a sweet smile. "What about you, how is school going?"

"It's rough, but if I buckle down I think I can do it." I responded honestly.

"I know you can do it. Don't ever doubt yourself. It's going to be hard at times but it will all be worth it in the end. and if you need any help at all you know I'm always here." She said as she placed the cookies into the oven.

"Thanks Esme that means a lot." I replied warmly.

"Of course and Jacob… I don't think I tell you enough how proud I am of you!" she said beaming.

"Thanks, you guys have always inspired me to want to better myself." I replied softly.

"That's much too sweet of you Jacob." She said as she poured the hot cocoa she was making into a cup.

"It's the truth though." I commented back as the fragrant aroma of fresh cookies filled the air.

"I'll be right back dear." She added rubbing my shoulder as she walked by. A few minutes later she came back. "Ah, the cookies are done." She said pulling them out and placing a mug of hot chocolate beside me.

"Thanks a lot!" I said as I bit into the burning hot cookie. I didn't care that my tongue was on fire, Esme's cookies are a little piece of heaven. Nearly a dozen cookies later when I was practically in a sugar coma, I bid Esme goodnight with hug and sluggishly climbed the stairs. I crawled into my bed and fell asleep almost instantly with a full stomach and a clear head. It didn't last long though because about two and half hours later my phone woke me up with its blaringly loud ringer. I wiped my drool off with the back of my arm and grabbed my phone off my bed side table. An unidentified number at three am what the hell? I pressed the little green button and lifted the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I croaked out into the quiet night.

"The Fairfax county Jail house is calling collect, would you like to accept the charges?" an automated voice said on the other line. That caught me by surprise so I sat bolt upright and answered yes.

"Please hold." I waited anxiously wondering whose voice was going to come on the other line.

"Jake?" A familiar voice questioned.

"Seth? What the hell? Are you okay? And why are you in Jail?" I babbled out.

"Uh yeah I'm fine; I just got arrested for indecent exposure." He replied back. What the fuck? Then it occurred to me he must have shredded his clothes and then when he phase back he was naked, and must have gotten caught. I really hope that's why anyways.

"Where the hell is Fairfax County?" I inquired.

"Uh Virginia." He answered back quietly.

"What the fuck Seth?" I asked exasperated.

"Look I'm running out of time. But I need you to bail me out… can you bring a grand to the jail house?" he rambled out.

"Bring it to the jail house? Like go to Virginia?" I questioned with a sarcastic tone.

"Please?" he begged.

"On one condition." I sighed.

"Anything…"

"You come back to Oregon with me and then we go up to forks to see your mom she's been worried sick about you." I answered back simply. There was silence on the other end. "Seth?" I wondered after at least twenty seconds went by.

"Fine." He snapped.

"Okay see you soon."

"Wait one other thing Jake." He yelled before I could hang up.

"What?"

"Well, when I phased and tore my clothes it was because a nomad was feeding and I stopped it so I'm pretty sure the girl I saved is turning." He said lower than before. What the hell did he get himself into?

"What do you want me to do?" I asked a little worried about the answer I was going to get.

"I don't know but we can't just leave her there." He said with an edge of frustration. I sighed and knew what I was going to have to do.

"Fine I'll bail you out then we can try and find her." I snapped. He agreed and I assured him I'd be there tomorrow afternoon to bail him out and find the girl. I hung up, growled and rolled out of bed. I guess I was glad to hear from him after a week but I really didn't want to go. I plopped down in my desk chair and turned on my computer. The first thing I looked up was where the fuck Fairfax Virginia was…about thirty minutes outside of D.C. Next thing I did was look up the tickets…the next plane leaving to Dulles international airport was at ten am. If I have to get up this early then so does Embry. I grabbed my phone and dialed his number and waited for him to answer.

"Hello?" Embry said groggily.

"Listen I know where Seth is." I said getting straight to the point.

"Jake is that you?" He asked still in a dazed voice.

"No it's your fairy god mother." I snapped sarcastically. "Of course it's me dumb ass. Don't you have caller I.D.?"

"Wha? What's up? Why are you calling me at four Am?" he questioned.

"I know where Seth is." I said again. After I explained the situation to him, I informed him he was going to be the one to take me to the airport in the morning because this was partially his fault. I knew I really couldn't blame him, but I was just irritable about being woken up at three am and having to wake back up at seven am on my day off. He agreed, said he would be here at 8:30 and then we hung up. After I was done I flopped back on my bed and tried to get a few more hours of sleep before it was time for me to go. I set my alarm for seven am and almost immediately passed out again. The next thing I knew was my alarm was ringing out into the silence. I smashed my hand on the off button and flung my legs over the side of my bed. The one day I should get to sleep in, and I have to wake up at seven am to take a flight to fucking Virginia to bail someone out, and find a turning vampire. What. The. Hell. I sighed and fumbled to the bathroom grabbing my towel on the way by. I took at least a half an hour shower and when I finally got out I felt fresh and rejuvenated, not cranky like I was. After I was done dressing in jeans, a plain black crew neck shirt and some casual back and white Nikes, I went to my room and started to gather everything I was going to need for the trip. Now comes the hard part…saying goodbye to Nessie. It was going to be at least three days and I already knew it was going to be rough. I snuck stealthily into her room, pulled back the curtain sat on the edge of her bed and just stared at her. She's so gorgeous. Her pretty curls were cascading over the pillow and the look on her face was so serene I hated to wake her, but it would kill me if I left without saying goodbye. Not to mention my fate with her.

"Nessie." I said kissing her on the cheek lightly.

"hmm." She grunted.

"Wake up beautiful I need to talk to you." I whispered as I kissed her lightly on the lips. I could feel a smile form under my lips telling me she was awake.

"Well good morning to you too." She said wrapping her small arms around my neck pulling me into a hug. I buried my face in her curls and inhaled her sweet scent. "Now what did you want to talk to me about?" she asked softly in the nape of my neck sending a tingling sensation through my whole body.

"I have good news and I have bad news…which first?" this must have worried her because she pushed me away and sat up so she could look me in the eyes.

"What's wrong?" she inquired anxiously.

"Well I know where Seth is…" I trailed off.

"You do? Is he okay? Where the hell has he been?" she rambled out quickly.

"I don't know the full story but as of right now he's being…shall we say detained in Virginia." I explained.

"Detained, meaning?" she questioned.

"He's in jail…for indecent exposure." I answered back. A variety of expressions flickered quickly over her face until finally; I knew she figured out the bad news.

"You're leaving aren't you?" she asked on the brink of tears. I nodded as a tear streaked down her cheek. I lifted my hand and brushed it away.

"Please don't cry I'll only be gone for a few days." I said imploringly.

"Days?" she asked in a strained whisper.

"Well he phased in a rage because he caught a nomad feeding on a girl. So the girl is transforming into a vampire and we have to stay until she's done." I replied keeping it short and sweet. A whimper escaped from her tightly sealed lips "Baby it will be okay."

"I know it's just hard being away from you. My heart can barely take it when you're at your school and I'm at mine. Imagine what it's gonna be like when you're thousands of miles away. I mean you haven't spent the night away from me since I was little." She said nearly sobbing now. I sighed, pulled her into my chest and just held her why she cried. Damn it Seth why do you have to be on the other fucking side of the country. If he wasn't hurting I would so kick his ass.

"Shhh, don't cry it will be okay Ness, you can call me when you're going to sleep and I'll stay on the phone with you as long as you want me too." I commented trying to make the situation even a little better. I sat there and held her until her sobs slowly began to subside. "Are you feeling a little better?" I asked rubbing her hair.

"No…" she answered back muffled from my chest. "But I have to stop sometime." She added her voice breaking again.

"I'm sorry I have to go, but I don't think it will be as bad as it seems." I comment trying to convince myself just as much as I was trying to convince her. She nodded and pulled back from my chest.

"When do you have to go?" she asked wiping her eyes and drying her face off with her sheet. I pulled my phone from my pocket and looked at the time. My heart dropped. I had to go now if I wanted to make it on the plane in time.

"Now." I whispered. I could see her eyes being to shine with tears again and it nearly ripped out my heart.

"Okay." She mumbled out with quivering lip. Maybe I could just send Embry…Shit of course I can't send Embry he's part of the reason why Seth is all the way in fucking no man's land. I dropped my head into my hands and tangled my hands through my hair.

"Walk me to the car?" I asked as I composed myself and brought my head back up. She looked at me with tear filled eyes and nodded her head. I got up and extended my hand which she took as she stumbled out of the bed. I walked into the hall, let go of her and quickly ran into my room to grab my duffle bag. I went back out swiftly and met her outside of my door. We walked down stairs and outside holding hands in a weird silence… I couldn't quite explain it. It wasn't awkward and it wasn't tense… it was definitely different though, more uneasy? I flung my bag on the deck and sat us down on the top of the stairs as we waited for Embry. I put my arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to me. She nuzzled into my side and I could smell her tears again as they started flowing. We both sat quietly as I rubbed her arm soothingly and looked towards the drive anxiously. As soon as Embry's blue Mazda drove into view my stomach dropped and Nessie lost her composure. She threw her arms around my neck and started sobbing again.

"Oh Ness, you're making this a lot harder than I want it to be." I whispered from her curls.

"I…I'm…sor…sorry…J...J…Jake...I…Just…don't…want…you…to…g…go." She stuttered out.

"I know Ness. I don't want to go either." I replied sincerely.

"I'll be okay once you go." she choked out. I sighed and rubbed her back.

"I know you will…just find something to distract yourself." I commented. She nodded into my neck and pulled away with tears still steaming heavily down her face. I kissed her forehead, each tear stained cheek and then her lips.

"I love you and I'll call you the second I land." I said composed. She nodded and kissed me again before I grabbed my bag and tossed it over my shoulder. I could feel her eyes burning into me as I shoved my bag over the seat and into the back. I closed the door and waved to her as Embry sped away. That last moment of her waving to me, mouthing I love you, with tears still flowing down her face, was seared into my mind. My self-control almost broke, but I took a deep breath as my heart starting ripping itself into small pieces. I swallowed hard as it got worse and worse with every inch of distance we put between us. This is never going to happen again. I sighed and rested my head against the window and watched as the trees flew by in green blurs.

"You okay Jake?" Embry asked as he went around a bend.

"Huh, yeah fine just thinking about Ness. You know." I replied snapping out of my stupor.

"Yeah I know it's gonna be rough." I nodded and started thinking of a way to change the subject from Nessie…my mutilated heart was already reminding me enough how much it hurt to be away from her.

"How are things with Jordan?" I asked.

"Uh, I don't really know at this point…She's really upset she hurt Seth. But she can't stay away from me." He replied sullenly.

"Sounds just like Sam, Emily, and Leah." I replied.

"I know. I feel horrible. Seth is one of my best friends…" He stated.

"Yeah, but what can you do?" I asked rhetorically. He shrugged his shoulders and kept staring straight ahead.

"Speaking of Leah, I called Quil to tell him we found Seth and he must have called Leah…point being is that she's coming to forks when you bring Seth back." Really? I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm sure good because of the commonalty between them now. She'll be one of the only people he can relate too.

"It's going to be weird to see Leah after all of these years." I added. He nodded and I could tell something was wrong. "What's wrong?" I inquired. He waited a little while before answering in a whisper.

"Do you think Seth will wanna see me?" Oh boy…not what I was expecting at all.

"Uh well I'll talk to him about it and see what state of mind he's in." I replied back in the best way I knew how. He nodded as we pulled into the airport. I got out, grabbed my bag, said my goodbyes to Embry and wandered into the airport ready to set out for Virginia. The whole plane ride I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything because the pain in my chest was just way too much…it didn't feel like my heart was being torn from my chest, it felt like my heart was already ripped from my chest and my body was trying but failing miserably at surviving without it. Many times through the ride I had to bury my head between my hands to catch my breath, because it literally felt like my lungs were going to collapse from all the pain… this was by far the worse experience of my life. When my plane finally touched down at six o'clock the first thing I did was call Nessie. It rang one time before her sweet voice stitched a microscopic piece of me back together.

"Jake!" She nearly screamed. It wasn't a gleeful scream either, it sounded like it was… I guess a scream of relief?

"Hi Ness, how you hanging in there?" I asked concerned.

"These have been the worse few hours of my life." She whined.

"I know." Was all I could say because she was absolutely correct…even worse than when I shattered almost every bone in one side of my body.

"I'm in like physical pain…is this normal?" she questioned worriedly. For normal people probably not, but for imprints I'm assuming so.

"You're not alone…I wish I could have just brought you with me." I rambled out as I walked off the plane.

"I wanted to tell you too, but I know that Seth needs his alone time to talk with you before he gets back here with everyone right in his face." She stated gloomily. That was definitely one reason, but the main reason is because I don't know how this newborn vamp is gonna react to her.

"You're right and because it's too dangerous." I stated. I heard her sigh, and I sighed too. "I miss you."

"I miss you too. I really hope we never have to do this ever again." She whispered.

"Me too Ness, me too." I agreed. I reached the counter where I had to get a cab to go to the jail house and I was dreading hanging up. "Uh Nessie, I have to go but I'll call you as soon as I can." I said quietly. She didn't say anything as her breath quickened.

"Okay well, I love you." She answered back her voice breaking.

"I love you too. I'll call you soon." I said back. With that I pressed the little red button and it felt like my whole world was going to come crashing down around me. After I left the airport I went and bailed Seth out and set out for the woods. As we came to the edge of the tree line he finally said something after all that time.

"Look uh thanks a lot Jake." Seth commented as we walked deeper into the woods. I grunted and nodded my head as I tried listening for screaming. He took the cue and we walked in silence for about forty five minutes until I could finally hear muffled groans in the distance. Seth caught my eye and nodded, and we both broke out in a sprint. We finally reached the clearing and there in the middle was a girl moaning and begging to stop the pain. Seth crept up to the girl and knelt down about a foot away.

"Uh, hi my name is Seth and I guess I'm the reason for this pain." He said uncertainly. The girl looked at him and shook her head.

"No he was pale and blonde" She spat through clenched teeth. "What's happening to me?" she screamed out.

"This is going to be basically unbelievable, but I think you can figure out that what's happening to you isn't normal." He replied soothingly

"What the fuck is happening to me?" she screamed again.

"You're turning into a vampire." He answered back.

"When will the burning end?" she wailed. Seth looked at me with a puzzled expression. So I moved closer to answer.

"It will probably seem like forever, but when it's over you'll have a whole new life." I stated truthfully.

"Just please make it stop!" She begged.

"I'm sorry there's nothing we can do until the venom has run its course." I said honestly. In reply the girl screamed and gripped the wound on her chest. It was good that he bit her so close to her heart…I remember Doc saying the closer to the heart the venom is the shorter the transformation will be.

"Well we're going to stay with you through this." Seth added quietly. The dark finally came and it was just us three in the hot muggy night, and the next few hours were the same thing; the girl screaming in pain and Seth being really considerate and constantly telling her it would be over soon.

"Would you care to explain to me how we ended up here?" I requested over the wailing after a long silence between the two of us.

"Where do I start?" He asked back not taking his eyes off the girl.

"How about the beginning." I shot back. I was becoming irritable because the swelling pain in my chest felt like it was going to consume my body. He let out a long sigh and started.

"Well after Embry…Imprinted on Jordan I phased out and called one of my friends from school and told him I was super drunk and ended up losing my clothes sometime that day. So he drove up with some clothes and picked me up. I went back to his place and I was fucking freaking out Jake… I knew I was in love with Jordan and I didn't know what to do... So after a day or so of being consumed with anger and being trapped with my own thoughts I knew I had to go, so I thanked him and bolted. Being wolf helped clear my mind and I ran just thinking about what the fuck was happening. While I was out there I came to the realization that it wasn't Embry's fault and I had to let her go…she wasn't mine...She's was now his and was always meant for him. By the time I figured that out, I was thinking clearly and I was wandering around the woods of Virginia clothed and in human form. That is until I came across the nomad feeding…on her." He said nodding his head at the thrashing girl. "She kind of reminds me of Jordan and it pissed me off so I phased, shredding my clothes in the process. The vampire booked it when he seen me so I chased him out of the clearing and when I caught him I tore him limb from limb. After that I calmed myself enough to phase back and I burnt the remains. All the while the transformation had started and she was screaming and yelling in this clearing still. I knew I couldn't go back there naked, so I tried finding my way out of these damn woods to get some clothes and, I thought I was going to come out somewhere secluded…nope big mistake, I was actually in the back yard of a cop, who happened to be grilling at ten o'clock at night, then he arrested me and here we are." He ended heaving a long sigh.

"So you're okay with the whole Embry, Jordan thing?" I questioned. I could see him flinch alerting me it was still an open wound.

"I mean I guess it's gonna take more time, but I accept it and I'm not mad at either of them anymore. I know it's not their faults I just needed someone to be mad at and to blame." He said grimly. Damn Seth was definitely a lot stronger than I give him credit for.

"That's really…mature of you Seth. You're a lot different than your sister." I replied laying back resting my head on my bag.

"Yeah I chose not to punish everyone around me for something that can't be controlled… I just don't think I can see Embry or Jordan yet…the pain is still raw" He added in a whisper. And there it is… the answer to Embry's question.

"Understandable Seth, it's gonna be hard but I know you'll get over her and find another girl." I replied trying to be supportive, even thought my mind was on one girl. The only girl it will ever be on again.

"Yeah, another girl that only the imprinted pack members will meet." he shot back bitterly. It was silent for a few minutes before his snores began resonating along with the girls moans, so I took that as my cue to call Nessie. I got up and walked out of the woods because I had no service. As soon as those little bars popped up I hit the green button and called Nessie. One ring, two rings, three rings, four rings.

"Hi you've reached Nessie's phone leave me a message!" and a beep. I felt extremely hollow as I left her a message telling her how much I loved and missed her. Although it was nice to hear her beautiful voice it wasn't anywhere near enough. I sat down on a boulder and then my mind started going haywire. Where is she? I hope she's okay. Maybe I should call Bella? I grabbed my phone and made up my mind as I found Bella's number and pressed send. After a ring Bella's voice collided with the silence.

"Hey Jake."

"Hey Bells, how's everything going?" I asked really wanting to get to the point.

"Eh okay. Renesmee is freaking out still. She's in the shower right now trying to see if it will help her calm down." A knot in my stomach relaxed at the news that she was okay. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and gathered myself.

"Yeah I feel the same way. I feel like I can barely breathe." I commented.

"Do you want me to have her call you when she's out?" she asked with a tone already knowing the answer.

"Please!" I replied anxiously.

"Okay, Jake I'll make sure she calls you."

"Thanks a lot Bells." And with that I hung up and buried my face into my hands trying to catch my breath. I must have slipped into an uncomfortable sleep because the next thing I knew was my phone scaring the shit out of me. I looked at the caller I.D. and my heart skipped a beat.

"Nessie!" I exclaimed as I answered the phone.

"Jake!" Nessie wailed. I could tell she was crying and it made me feel worse, I didn't even think was possible because at this point I felt like absolute shit. "Baby it's okay." I replied as soothingly as I could.

"I know but it's too hard. I can't breathe, my chest hurts, and I miss you." She choked out.

"I miss you too Ness, this is fucking killing me…"I trailed off not knowing what to say.

"How are things going?" she asked after a few minutes had passed when her sobs began to slow.

"Eh, the girl is changing so there's a lot of screams." I replied honestly. "And Seth is being really compassionate he keeps telling the girl it's almost over."

"That's really sweet of him. How is he doing, is he okay?" she inquired.

"He's handling it a lot better than I thought…he's already come to terms with Embry and Jordan." I stated still kind of shocked he was handling it so well.

"I always knew Seth was strong." She commented with a little chuckle. "So what are you going to do when she's done changing?" I honestly hadn't thought that far ahead.

"Uh I'm not sure I guess we'll have to talk to her and see what she wants." I responded. We talked for another hour until a little beep alerted me my phone was going to die. It had been quiet on the line for a few minutes and I figured Nessie had fallen asleep. "Ness?" I whispered. No answer. A few seconds later Bella's voice surprised me.

"Hey Jake, Renesmee fell asleep."

"Good, but we are still in the woods so I have no way to charge my phone." I commented a little frustrated. "So tell her I'll call her as soon as I charge it."

"Can do." She replied. "See you soon Jake."

"Yup, night Bells."

"Night, Sleep well." And the line went dead. I exhaled loudly and the throbbing amplified one hundred and fifty percent. I staggered off the boulder and back to the clearing where Seth was sleeping leaned up against a rock. The girl was letting out low drawn out groans and I could hear her heart was beating just a little bit slower than before. Maybe I would get to leave earlier than anticipated….

"How are you doing?" I asked sitting down next to my bag.

"It hurts but it's getting better." She screeched through clenched teeth.

"Just a little longer." I assured her. She clawed at her wound again as I laid back on my bag to see if I could sleep…

No such luck, the whole night and most of Sunday were all kind of a blur. I was working off very little sleep and I didn't really know what to do besides sit and think about Nessie. But that was just about all I could do, it was becoming too painful to even move. Sometime during the day I walked to a local coffee shop to charge my phone for a little while. During that escapade I call and talked to Nessie and she was a wreck. After a short conversation I had to go because I knew I had to get back to Seth and the girl. So I turned my phone off and went back. Finally at about ten o'clock I could hear the last few beats of the girl's heart informing me the transformation was becoming complete. I looked at Seth with troubled eyes and he looked back at the girl just as she opened her deep crimson colored eyes. She instantly went on the defense and backed into the nearest tree.

"What the fuck is going on?" she screeched flattening herself up against the tree. I could tell she was getting used to all of her new senses because of the look on her face. "And what the hell is that god-awful smell?"

"Uh he and I would be the reason for that god-awful smell." He said pointing between the pair of us.

"Why is my throat burning? Will the burning ever go away!" she growled spitting question after question.

"Uh that I can't answer, but Jake can." He said turning to me putting me on the spot. I sighed and decided to start with a name; I felt bad referring to her as 'the girl'.

"I don't know if you remember but I'm Jake and this is Seth what's your name?" I asked nicely. She hesitated and could see her tense up defensively.

"My name is Lila." She replied wearily.

"I'm really sorry we are meeting under these circumstances, but there is a lot for me to explain." I said back.

"I'll say… but please just tell me how to make the burning stop!" she begged imploringly.

"There are two ways…you can drink human blood like the vampire who ultimately did this to you, or option two you can drink animal blood." I told her repulsed by the first choice.

"Why…why would I drink human blood?" she whispered worriedly.

"Because human blood is more appealing to vampires than animal blood, and it can hard for them to control themselves…but animal blood will suffice just as well." I answered.

"How do you know all of this? Are you a vampire too?" she wondered.

"No, I'm not but my family is." I stated. She gave me a puzzled look.

"All I know is this burning has to stop." She whined taking her arm from around the tree and grabbing her neck.

"I can lead you to a deer?" I asked "And then maybe you'll be able to focus a little better?"

"Please anything." She replied softly with big doe eyes. I looked at Seth giving him a nod letting him know to go find a deer while I stayed and talked to her. It was natural that we didn't have to be in wolf form to understand each other, we had become so close over the years we could communicate without words. Seth booked it and I could hear him removing his clothes to phase.

"Where did he go?" Lila asked going back on the defense.

"To find you a deer so hopefully it will help you get your mind off the burning a bit." I commented earnestly. She nodded and went back to gripping her throat.

"Everything is so clear and different." She stated quietly looking around.

"Welcome to the life of the supernatural." I answered back with a grin. Before I could say anything else I could hear Seth trotting back dragging a large deer behind him.

"Do you hear that?" she asked springing into a crouch facing where Seth would be coming.

"It's okay just concentrate and you'll be able to tell that it's just Seth." I babbled quickly. I could see her body release and go back to standing position. We both stood quietly waiting for Seth to break through the tree line. Lucky Seth was smart enough to phase back to human before coming back or I have a feeling I would be breaking up a fight. As soon as Seth came into view with the dead deer Lila pounced on it and drank deeply until it was drained. She finally pulled away and wiped her mouth embarrassedly.

"I'm sorry I don't know what came over me." She said shamefully as she avoided our eyes.

"Do you feel any better?" Seth asked quietly.

"I do thank you so very much." She replied shyly. "I feel like I need to ask you Jake, who is Renesmee?" she asked. How did she know about Nessie? I didn't mention her, did I? I looked over to Seth who in return shrugged his shoulders.

"Uh she's my uh soul mate…how did you know about her?" I asked intently.

"I don't know something just told me you want to see her?" she wondered quizzically.

"Uh yes I feel like I'm dying without her…"

"Then why are you here?" she asked with a stern edge to her voice.

"Because Seth saved you and he didn't want you to wake up alone…" I trailed off. She looked at Seth and gave him a warm smile.

"I want to thank-you for that Seth." She said inching forward slowly. When she was no less than a foot away she leaned in and pecked him on the cheek. Seth turned beet red and grinned sheepishly at her. "It's you that smells." She added crinkling her nose with a smile.

"Uh I should probably tell you you're not the only supernatural being in the world." I commented interrupting the moment. She spun quickly towards me with a puzzled expression on.

"What do you mean?" she inquired apprehensively.

"Well you see, Seth and I are a part of a pack…a wolf pack, we can transform into wolves at will." I explained.

"Could I see?" she requested.

"Sure!" Seth replied enthusiastically. He sprinted to the nearest tree, stripped and phased.

"Oh!" Lila said her eyes growing three sizes as the massive figure of Seth trotted around the corner with a wolf grin on. "Who is Jordan?" she asked turning to me. How the hell did she know about Jordan now?

"Where do you keep pulling this out of?" I asked honestly interested.

"I don't know…Every time I focus on you I can feel a pull to a girl named Renesmee. You want to be with her deeply. And with Seth…" she said turning to stare at Seth. "He's deeply pained over a girl named Jordan…she broke his heart." She finished. What the hell? How the fuck? Then it hit me…she's a vampire. It must be her gift. Seth went back phased back into a human and came back around looking extremely confused.

"How the hell did you know all that?" he blurted.

"I think it's her vampire gift." I said answering for her.

"My what?" she questioned.

"Well some vampires obtain special gifts after they change, for example in my vampire family we have a mind reader, one who can see the future and another who can manipulate your emotions. There are others with gifts, but that's just a few." I clarified.

"I would love to meet them, the others like me." She said with a twinkle in her eye. I looked to Seth…How in the world were we going to get a new born vampire back to Oregon without coming across a human, because there is no way she could resist the smell once it hits her…

"I think we should talk about that…" After talking for an hour we came up with a solution. Carlisle had recently obtained a private plane and was going to fly out to pick us up so she wouldn't be in contact with any humans for a while. Lila was really taken with Seth, and he was really taken with her…I don't know if it was because he saved her life or if it was because she reminded him of Jordan, but He always shocked me with how accepting of vampires he was. It was like she was just another person to him; I can see Lila being the one to help him get over Jordan. I decided not to tell Nessie that we were coming home early, so I could surprise her. My heart felt a tiny bit better knowing I was going to see her sooner rather than later. In the four hours that we had to wait for Carlisle, I called Nessie and talked to her for about an hour…and man saying goodbye on the phone is just as brutal as any other goodbye. I felt like I was going to be eaten alive by all the pain. My body ached with every breath that I took away from her. I couldn't wait to have her in my arms. After my phone call, Seth and I thought it would be a good idea for Lila to hunt on her own before we got on the plane. So Seth and I wandered around making sure there wasn't going to be any human by standards. After we covered at least a ten mile radius we knew it would be okay to go back and get her. With us flanking her sides we set out finding plenty of animals in the nearby wooding. After she drained three deer, the two of them ventured back to the clearing while I hung back waiting for my phone to ring. When it finally did I yanked it out of my pocket and read Docs name as it scrolled across the screen.

"Hey Doc are you here?" I asked blissfully.

"I am indeed, I'm going to refuel and I'll waiting for you in hanger three at the dogwood airstrip." He said getting straight to the point like I liked it.

"Great we'll be there in fifty minutes!" I exclaimed happily. I was finally getting to go home to my Nessie.

"See you then." He replied and with that I hung up. After we gathered all of our things we set out in the direction of the airport. Seth (in his wolf form) and Lila stayed behind until I was a good two miles ahead so that way when the human scent was coming Seth could stop and tell Lila to hold her breath by a nudge. Forty minutes in I stumbled across the scent and warned Seth by Telepathy that I was close. And sure enough nuzzled in the woods was a small old airport with five hangers. There just like he said in hanger three was Carlisle and his plane _Cullen One_. I phased back just before exiting the woods, got dressed and went to greet Carlisle.

"Hey Doc, thanks again for coming." I said sheepishly upon reaching him.

"Of course Jacob, you have absolutely no need to thank me." He replied back warmly.

"Nobody is going to die because you're here right?" I asked back genuinely concerned.

"No of course not, I got it all covered…ah there is the new born and Seth." He said looking over my shoulder. I spun on my heels and sure enough Seth was holding tight onto Lila's arm and leading her quickly across the runways.

"It would be best to get her on the plane and out of here as soon as possible." Carlisle said quickly as they approached. I nodded my head as he led the three of us in and closed the latch swiftly behind us. He turned around and looked at Lila.

"Hello I'm Doctor Carlisle Cullen." He stated as he put his hand out. She gladly took it and shook it with a smile.

"Hello Dr. Cullen I'm Lila Ward." She answered back sweetly.

"Please call me Carlisle welcome aboard, shall we go?" he asked looking to me. I nodded my head because I needed Nessie like I needed air and every second away it was getting harder and harder to breathe. He went and sat in the cockpit and invited Lila to join him. She accepted and took Co-pilot as Seth and I sat in the back. Seth immediately passed out upon his head hitting the head rest, if only I could be so lucky. I sat there and stared blankly at the ceiling thinking about nothing but Nessie and how good it was going to be to finally hold her. The whole plane ride I kept slipping in and out of an uneasy sleep, until finally Carlisle called back telling us we were about to land. I sat up waiting impatiently for impact. The second the plane stopped, Carlisle looked back from the pit and gave me a curt nod letting me know I could go. I nearly ripped my seatbelt and the door off as I dove out of the plane. As soon as my feet hit pavement I was stripping and running trying to prepare myself so that the moment I smashed into the woods I could phase. I exploded into my wolf and bolted to where my massive paws led me twenty minutes later the pain began to ease. So in one motion I phased back to human and pulled my pants from around my ankle and slid them on without ever losing a step. As soon as I burst through the clearing there she was, more beautiful than I could ever remember. She was standing on the porch with the gentle wind blowing through her cinnamon curls biting her lip and looking around for me.

"Nessie!" I called. As soon as spotted me she screamed my name, jumped three steps than the other three and came sprinting towards me. No more than five seconds later, she collided into me by jumping and wrapping her legs around my waist and I was complete once more… My heart was finally whole again, pounding strong and hard deep inside my chest. Her hair was loose and was engulfing me and her in our own world as she just stared deep into my eyes.

"I missed you so much." She whispered as a small tear escaped and hit me on the cheek. I instantly pulled her down into a hug where she buried her face in the nape of my neck and I nuzzled deep into her sweet smelling curls.

"You have no idea how much I missed you." I whispered back. "How did you know?" I asked as she unwrapped her legs from around my waist. There was no way I was letting go of her so I easily kept her feet dangling off the ground as I continued to hug her.

"That you were coming?" she asked from the crook of my neck which sent tingles through my whole body. I got a grip and nodded into her curls. "My heart let me know…"was all she said and I knew exactly what she meant…It started repairing itself. I chuckled and finally put her down so I could look into those breath taking eyes I've been missing for the past few days. We just stared at each other again not saying anything verbally, but saying everything in the world with our eyes. Finally I broke the silence.

"Holy shit you have no idea how much I missed you." Was all I said before I caught her lips in a long sweet kiss. My heart was pulsating profusely and I was just happy that it was beating again because I'm pretty sure it didn't beat once while I was away from her. She finally pulled away but kept our foreheads together, and I could feel and taste her sweet fruity breath dance across my lips.

"I love you." She whispered with her hands tangled in the back of my hair. She was looking deep into my eyes, deep enough to where every word she said, and every second that she looked into my eyes was burned into the depths of my soul. This girl…She is my world.

"I love you too." I said back softly. She finally untangled her hands from my hair, intertwined our hands and started leading me to the house. It felt phenomenal to finally have my Nessie next to me.

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**A/N: Well? what did you think? let me know! put a smile on my face review review review! please and thank you :) hope you liked it.**


	16. Chapter 16

**You know it is all SM.**

**A/N: okay not the most swift update but as i go on it gets harder and harder to write...The only reason why i do is because of the words of encouragement you feed me in your reviews...Those are my fuel. So again thanks for them they are what keep me writing... So this is a pretty long, eventful chapter not to mention a pain in the ass to write which is why it just kind of jumps everywhere. sorry about that, but i was being really impatient and just wanted to get it done. But i don't wanna say anymore so Enjoy and keep the reviews coming...They help. :)**

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**NPOV**

The worst was finally over and I couldn't be happier. The past few days were definitely the worst of my life…I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, hell I don't even think I could breathe without pain threatening to consume me with every breath I took. The only time I got even the tiniest bit of relief was when I was talking to Jake on the phone, but as soon as we would hang up it would come back full blast if not worse. This can't be normal…I can't be this attached to him. The more I thought about it the more I realized he is my whole life…He's the reason I wake up in the morning, he's the reason I breath and during those few days without him, my body felt like it was slowly shutting down; like I need him to survive.

The whole time Jake was gone I basically did the same thing the entire time and that was crying as quietly as I could into Jakes pillow I took from his room. I was only trying to be quite for the sake of the family but it really didn't matter much anyways, because after all, I do live in a house full of vampires. But trying to be quiet was the least I could do; I knew my day and night hyperventilating and sobbing was undoubtedly driving everyone in the house crazy. I mean don't get me wrong, In the beginning I tried to keep myself distracted but it clearly didn't work, so I eventually gave up. I decided I was done trying to force myself to fall asleep and eat, and I was done pretending I was going to be okay, because obviously I wasn't going to be okay until he was back home with me, where he belongs...

When Jake came into that radius and my heart started mending I was flooded with such relief. I thought that it was too early for him to be here, so I didn't want to believe it was true. I laid there for a few minutes and kept questioning if it could really be him... I honestly don't know why I did question it, because he is the one and only reason why my heart rips into pieces and he is the only reason why it becomes complete again. After I could feel the bits of me continuously being mended back together I grasped that it was true. I jumped out of my bed and bolted down the stairs to the porch as fast as my legs would take me. I was definitely using my vampire speed as I came to a screeching halt right on the edge of the deck. I started bouncing up and down looking for him, when it hit me; I had to be a mess. I must be, I had the same t-shirt I stole from Jake's room when he left and a pair of his basketball shorts on…I wanted as much of him with me as possible. And the only time my hair was brushed was when my mom would climb into my bed and start brushing it trying to convince me to eat and get some sleep. But that stopped after she realized that I would rather just cry alone and I was simply inconsolable. So that meant my hair was a disarrayed wreck with my curls going everywhere. I put my hands to my face and rubbed it not that, that would do anything because after all of the crying I did, I'm sure my skin was pale, dry and blotchy…but to be direct, I really didn't care because the love of my life was home. Then he called my name and I saw him, my heart skipped a beat as it put the last piece of itself back together. I screamed his name, jumped the stairs and bolted to him faster than I think I've ever ran before. I pounced on him as I wrapped my legs around his waist and it was then that I felt utterly complete…I would never let anything separate us again. We stood there for a few minutes looking into each other's eyes not saying anything verbally but telling stories with our eyes of how much we missed one another and then we kissed…it was the most delicate, perfect, electrifying, mind blowing kiss and it was like we were made for each other how in sync our lips moved together. In that moment I understood that I would never love anyone in this entire world the way I loved this boy. If he ever does imprint, that girl is going to be in for one rude awakening if she thinks that I'm just gonna let him go… After he let go of me I intertwined our fingers and led him to the house.

"I love what you're wearing." He chuckled.

"Oh, uh yeah it's a bit big but I needed your scent, it's comforting." I replied a little embarrassed.

"Smart. But I like it on you." He said with a grin.

"Where's Seth?" I asked concerned.

"He and Carlisle should be here soon. I got a head start; I couldn't be without you any longer." He answered as he bent down and pecked me on the forehead. When did grandpa leave? Damn I was really out of it.

"I'm glad you left early it means more than you know. But I honestly didn't even realize grandpa was gone." I replied earnestly.

"Sheesh, Ness you must have been totally unaware of anything, he left a while ago." He commented amused.

"Oh you have no idea Jake, I was falling apart without you…you remember on our date when you said I was your world?" He nodded. "Well you're my world too and without you here it felt like, well it felt like mine ended." I stated truthfully.

"Baby you have no idea…without you I haven't slept, ate, and I barley even moved because I felt like my mind, body and soul were collapsing… It felt like my world was literally falling apart around me." He stated squeezing my hand gently as we walked into the house. I stopped him and pulled him back to me where he gave me my favorite Jacob smile that was bright enough to light up a night sky.

"I love that you keep calling me baby…"I said with a grin. I didn't let him say anything before I reached up on my toes and swept his lips up in a kiss. He pulled away and grinned broadly at me.

"Damn I missed you and those lips." He commented rubbing my chin, causing me to giggle.

"You have no idea how good that felt to laugh." I said walking towards the living room.

"You have no idea how good that felt to hear your laugh. It's like music to my soul." He answered back following right beside me with his hand in mine. When we walked into the living room the whole family excluding grandpa and grandma were all waiting for us or rather him. Mom and Aunt Alice came up to greet Jake with hugs. They looked at me expectantly to let go of his hand so he could give them a proper hug but there was no way in hell I was letting go of his hand after being apart from him for so long, not even if it made my dad uncomfortable. Jake ended up giving them awkward one armed hugs, while I stood by with an angelic smile on. He looked at me with a grin and led us to the couch where I nuzzled deep into his side.

"Shit glad you're home Jake, Nessie and those non-stop tears were making everyone insane!" Uncle Emmett commented amused.

"Emmett!" Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice growled. Uncle Emmett tightened his grip around Aunt Rose because he knew she was going to try and smack him. I smiled guiltily and couldn't really defend myself because it was the truth.

"No, no he's right. I'm sorry…I just missed Jake." I stated sheepishly.

"You don't need to apologize Nessie you love him, and it's hard to be away from the one you love." Aunt Alice said backing me up. I sat there for a while and listened until my body started shutting down because I hadn't eaten or slept in so long. Up to this point it really didn't bother me that I hadn't done either, I was to consumed with the pain from my mangled heart to even notice the dull ache of my empty stomach or realize how tired I really was. Now that I was whole again and not in excruciating pain, it hit me like a semi and I started to get dizzy and weak.

"Nessie, are you okay, you look flushed." Aunt Rose commented. All eyes immediately shot back to me.

"You're right Rose she does look pale." Mom added.

"I'm fine, I just need food." I replied back unconvincingly. Right on cue grandma walked around the corner with two heaping plates of food. She set them down on the coffee table in front of Jake and I, and went to give Jake a hello hug. I zoned in on my food and ate in a hazy bubble, while Jake filled the family in on Lila, her transformation, and how she and Seth really connected. I started to comprehend things more near the end of the conversation.

"So what do you think, I mean I have to take Seth up to forks to see his family…should Ness and I stay a little longer so we can see how Lila is going to react to her scent?" Jake was saying. So we are going to forks? I'm glad he knew there was no way I was going to let him go anywhere without me after these past few days of torture.

"Well we know her blood is slightly masked by the vampire scent but she still has blood running through her veins. And the fact that she's never been around a newborn before worries me, so I think that staying away for a few extra days would be wise decision Jacob. We'll call you when we ready." Dad replied back and Jake nodded in agreement. "Carlisle called just before you got here, asking what his next step should be…he is also skeptical with Renesmee being home when Lila gets here. I should call him and inform him of our verdict."

"Should Nessie and I go pack, so we can be out of range when they get here?" Jake asked. I looked at dad expectantly.

"After I talk to Carlisle, would be better so you can hear the status." Jake nodded and averted his attention to me.

"Feeling better beautiful?" he asked staring into my eyes.

"Much, I have you, and that's the most important thing to me." I said running my hand up his muscular forearm.

"And I have you which is all I'll ever need… Are you tired?" he asked rubbing under my eye with his thumb.

"Mhm, Uncle Emmett wasn't over exaggerating when he said I was crying nonstop, the only time I could catch my breath was when we were talking on the phone..." I replied stifling a yawn.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry I put you through that." He answered back with a kiss on the forehead.

"Just as long as we don't have to be apart for that long again you don't have to apologize."

"I'll only go away if you tell me too. Deal?" he asked putting his hand out. Ha like that will ever happen. If anything it will be him telling me to leave him and his imprint alone…I cringed and stopped myself from thinking about it. This was definitely one of the more dominating thoughts right now because of everything that happened…and I was just waiting for something to come and ruin my bliss. He was looking at me with a puzzled expression now, so I bit my lip and shrugged my shoulders.

"Deal." I commented as I shook his hand. In return he shook mine, gave me a smile and looked back at dad who just got off the phone.

"Well apparently Carlisle has a friend with property nearby and Carlisle asked if he could use it. His friend obliged, so Seth and Lila are going to stay there for the night. I think you and Renesmee should rest up here and Seth said he will be here sometime tomorrow afternoon so you can leave for forks." Dad announced.

"Sounds good to me." Jake stated. "I hate to leave when I just got here but I'm exhausted and I think I should go to bed now." Jake replied with a yawn. I couldn't agree more, I was literally about to pass out right there. Everyone agreed, so we said our goodnights and made our way up to my room.

"What's that?" Jake asked pointing to the new flat screen sitting neatly on a stand at the foot of my bed.

"Oh, that's the TV Uncle Emmett brought me while you were gone…He said it was a 'cheer up gift' but I think it was a 'shut the hell up gift'." I answered back with a grin and a shrug. He chuckled and stood in the middle of the room like a lost puppy… I climbed onto my bed and sat on my heels looking at Jake with a pout.

"What's wrong Ness?" he questioned anxiously. I signaled for him to come to me because I didn't really want to talk. I knew my mom had her shield up, because my mind was going haywire over Jake, and some of the stuff was just not something my dad would have stayed quiet about. Jake crept over to me; I put my hand on his cheek and projected him spending the night in my bed and how much I needed it after what I'd been through. His eyes came back into focus and I could see the worried look on his gorgeous face.

"Please" I mouthed to him. He bit the inside of his cheek and crawled into my bed. I mouthed "Thank-you" and got off the bed to put a movie in. At least that way we could say we fell asleep watching a movie. I know my parents aren't dumb, but still… I grabbed the first one off the huge stack of Blu-ray's Uncle Emmett brought me to go with the TV and popped it in. I fumbled back to my bed and crawled up to Jake. He was lying like usual with one arm behind his head and the other ready to mold to my position. I tangled my legs with his and laid my head on his bare chest…This is all I will ever need. The way he wrapped his solid warm arm around me and kissed my forehead made me feel like nothing in this world could ever hurt me. I think we were both way too exhausted to say anything, so I just laid there and let the song of his strong beating heart sing me to sleep.

The next morning I cracked my eyes open to the beautiful ripples of Jakes exquisite six pack. I stayed as still as I could so I wouldn't wake him and listened to his steady deep breaths along with his beating heart. Eventually I must have fallen back asleep because I woke up to the tickling sensation of Jake softly running his fingers across the length of my arm. I fluttered my eyelids open and looked at his face.

"Good morning gorgeous." He said with a peck on the lips.

"Morning handsome." I replied with a smile.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked still rubbing the length of my arm.

"Absolutely amazing, how about you?" I answered back making circles on chest.

"Never better." He stated simply. "We better get going, we still have to shower and pack for forks." I nodded, pushed off of his chest lightly and stretched. After I stretched I sat in bed and noticed that Jake was staring at me.

"What?" I asked. Did I have drool or something gross like that on my face?

"Nothing, you're just stunningly beautiful." He commented while sitting up so he could kiss me again. "Come on baby we have to get ready." He informed me after we pulled apart. I stumbled out of bed and went to my closet.

"You shower first while I pack." I hollered out to him.

"Kay babe." He yelled back. Hmm I could really get used to all of these pet names; they make me feel like I'm his…which I am, but he's not mine…The whole Embry-Jordan thing really has me freaked the fuck out. I'm gonna have to talk to someone about this whole imprint thing while we're in forks. After I packed an unnecessary amount of clothes, I tossed the bag into the room and sat on my bed while I waited for Jake to get out of the shower. As soon as I made myself comfortable there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." I called out while kicking my dangling legs. My mom glided in and came to sit by me.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" she asked tucking a stray hair behind my ear.

"Much better." I replied sincerely. I looked at her and she was pretty much holding her breath. Something's wrong..."What's up mom?" I inquired skeptically.

"Last night was a one-time deal right?" She questioned looking at me sternly.

"Oh, uh yeah that was just because we fell asleep while watching a movie…we kind of expected you guys to wake Jake up to tell him to go in his own room." She scoffed and looked directly at me.

"Renesmee, do you honestly think I was born yesterday?"

"Okay, no but I'm sorry after not being with him it just felt so good to have him back I didn't want to let him go…" I stated back honestly. She averted her gaze again letting me know that, that wasn't what she came to talk about.

"We need to talk…" she said mustering up confidence with every word.

"Okay…What about?" I asked worriedly. "If this is about last night, I'm sorry it won't happen again! Just please don't make Jake and I break up…I love him too much!" I pleaded

"Well it is about last night but it's not about us forcing you to break up…Even though you two clearly broke the rules we made an exception this one time because you hadn't slept in a few days and we didn't want to wake you." She responded quickly.

"Okay if you're not forcing us apart then what's this about?" I probed narrowing my eyes at her.

"It's about…Sex." She spewed quickly. Sex? I mean I know that comes with relationships, but honestly the thought hasn't really crossed my mind. I'm quite content with things the way they are, I think that will just complicate things right now…but I wonder if Jake has ever thought about it, with me? Just thinking about it made my cheeks burn, I don't know if it was from embarrassment or something else…

"What do you mean?" I sputtered out.

"Your father and I letting you and Jake go to forks together is quite a big step for us. You'll be alone with Jake for a few days and I think it's about time we had this talk." What talk? We had the birds and bees talk when I first got my period which seemed like a long time ago, what else could there possibly be to talk about?

"Mom honestly until now the subject of sex has never crossed my mind." I mumbled out.

"I'm not saying it has but when you're in the heat of the moment, things can just sort of happen…"she commented trailing off.

"What are you trying to say?" I rambled out because this conversation just kept getting more and more awkward. I wanted it to end.

"What I'm trying to say is I want you to wait." She stated playing with a button on her sleeve.

"Wait for what?" I babbled quickly.

"Marriage. Your father and I waited and I really want you and Jake to also." She stated firmly. Marriage, who knows if I was ever going to get married…the whole imprint thing plays into this again. I can see why it frustrates Jake, I feel like I'm planning my whole life around it…I hadn't really thought about marriage either because I didn't want to get my hopes up.

"Mom, I don't even know if Jake would marry me…" I said slowly the words stinging more than I expected. She sighed frustrated.

"Well then I want you to wait until you do get married."

"I don't know why you're stressing this so much mom." I commented staring at the floor.

"When I was younger it didn't make much sense to me to either, but it was just so much more…more…special that I did wait. I know it's not normal now a days, but nothing about your relationship is normal."

"Okay I'll wait." I answered softly.

"Promise?" she added pulling my chin up so I could stare into her eyes.

"Promise." She nodded and relief flooded her face.

"Thank-you sweetheart, now finish getting ready so you can leave when your grandfather calls." She said as she was leaving.

"Kay." I answered falling back onto my bed. I heard Jakes room door open and I couldn't help but think of the remaining water clinging to his perfectly sculpted body. Oh shit. This is bad. My head was reeling. About imprints, about marriage, about …sex.

"Ness I'm out!" Jake yelled from his room pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Okay I'm getting in." I dragged myself off my bed and into the bathroom. Damn, why did my mom have to bring that conversation up now? I guarantee the thought wouldn't have ever crossed my mind if she hadn't said anything…it wasn't even the sex that playing at the forefront of my mind. It was the marriage thing and something that's always been a troubling thought of mine… imprinting. I started the hot water and let it wash away the past few days and tried to get it to wash away my fears but it didn't help much. I mean what if Jake and I were together five years, no imprint in sight and then he finally decides to propose, we get married and a year into it she walks into our lives? I would be devastated. I shook off the feeling that loomed over me and got out. I dried off and dressed in jean shorts, a fitted black t shirt and black Chuck Taylors. When I opened the door to my room Jake was sifting through the pile of new movies.

"All ready?" he questioned with a smile. I nodded absently and went to grab my bag. I could see his smile beginning to fade as he realized something was wrong. He gently grabbed my hand to stop me. "What's wrong Ness?" he inquired anxiously.

"Nothing." I lied not looking at him.

"Really?" was all he said.

"I'm fine." I replied mustering up as much confidence as I could, which wasn't a lot.

"Was it something I did?" he asked worry filling his every word.

"No, no I'm okay." I said reaching up on my tip toes giving him a peck on the cheek.

"I don't believe you Ness, and we're not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." He remarked, the worry being replaced by frustration. I could tell him what was wrong, but all he would do is end up telling me not to worry and that everything's going to be okay…but it's not! This is going to plague me until I talk to someone and who knows if even that's going to work. So I took a deep breath and played another card.

"Fine we can be here when Lila gets here and use me as the test to see if she can resist human blood." I commented with a shrug.

"I can call Carlisle and tell him to wait." Jake spat.

"How long do you think he can wait?" I snapped pulling away from him to go sit on the bed. I crossed my arms and stared him down. He stared back at me with an expression of disbelief, before he walked over to me and knelt down so he was eye level.

"What is with you? Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?" he asked tenderly while looking into my eyes and rubbing my cheek softly with his massive hand. I sighed and leaned into his hand and took my time answering.

"Look Jake, I have a lot going on in my head right now…it's a jumbled mess" I put my finger to his lips to stop him from interrupting me. "And as soon as I sort it all out, I'll tell you okay? You just have to let me do this on my own alright?" I finished. I could see this was hard for him, but this was how I had to do it for me. He nodded and I leaned forward and kissed him, hopefully letting him know that it wasn't him that this was about. When we pulled away I could see he wasn't going to press the matter anymore, but he still wasn't happy about it.

"I love you Renesmee." He whispered.

"I love you too Jacob, more than you can ever imagine." I answered back pecking him on the lips. I thought I heard him say 'I can imagine' as he was getting up, but I couldn't be sure. He grabbed both of our bags and put his hand out. I gladly took it and intertwined our fingers as we walked down stairs. We entered the living room and Jake let go of my hand. I looked at him questioningly.

"I'm gonna go load our bags into the Rover, I'll be right back." He stated answering my look. I nodded and went to round everyone with hugs good bye. After I was done I sat on the couch and waited patiently for Jake to return. He came back in shortly and I knew he was bothered by what happened upstairs…it was written all over his face.

"So how are we doing this?" Jake asked as he finished saying his good byes.

"Carlisle left a few minutes ago to go pick up Seth and Lila. You two are to meet Carlisle and Seth about fifteen minutes down the road at the intersection of Lincoln St. and Westbury Ave. Seth will get in with you guys and you can head up to forks and Carlisle will bring Lila back here." Dad stated. "Oh Renesmee, can Lila stay in your room until we find other accommodations for her?"

"Sure that's fine." I shrugged. Grandma came back from the kitchen with containers full of food and bags of junk food.

"For the road." She said with a smile as she handed me some and Jake the rest.

"Thank grandma." I replied pecking her on the cheek.

"Of course darling, say hello to Seth for me." We bid our last goodbyes and I followed Jake out to his truck. It was quiet and I could feel the tension that hung in the air. I decided to break the silence because it was only going to get worse.

"Are you okay?" I asked as we pulled out onto the open road.

"Okay as I'm gonna be until you tell me what's wrong with you." He replied looking at nothing but the road. I sighed and put my hand on his which was resting idly on the gear shift.

"It's not really that big of a deal…" I said trying to diffuse some of the tension.

"Then why can't you tell me? If something's wrong with you Ness then something's wrong with me…your pain is my pain." He replied softly while rubbing my hand with his thumb.

"It's not that easy to say, I have to find a way to explain it to you…find the right words."

"Do you…do you want to end it?" he questioned softly. I could feel him start to shake, but it was more of a tremble like he was afraid. Did he honestly think I would willingly give him up? He was pulling up to grandpa's car and I knew I had a moment to clarify my feelings for him. I took his warm face between my hands and looked him in his breath taking eyes.

"Jacob Black you are my life. Ending this relationship would be like ending my life. So no I do not want to end it…I just want to clear my mind, before I talk to you." I stated firmly. I pulled his face to mine and gave him a long passionate kiss and pushed him away with a smile. "Now will you puhlease relax?" I could feel the tension dissipate as soon as my favorite Jacob smile spread across his face like an open flame.

"Relax I shall." He answered back smoothly. I smiled just as the back door opened. Seth waved over the top of the truck to grandpa's car and I waved and smiled as Seth climbed in. I don't know if Grandpa waved back but he pulled off the shoulder slowly and in the blink of an eye he was gone.

"Seth!" I squealed pulling him into an awkward hug because of the seat.

"Hey Ness! I missed you." He answered back pulling away. "Jake." He added patting him on the shoulder.

"Seth." He answered back. Seth sat back and stretched as much as he could across the back seat. "How's Lila?"

"Oh she's pretty great." Seth answered with a grin.

"Tell me about her Seth." I said turning in my chair to look at him.

"Well she had kind of a tragic past…" he started sadly. "Her parents died when she was about six…and she bounced around from foster home to foster home until she was eighteen. When she finally got out of the system she got a job and started saving for school. She was going to start school this winter at George Mason University for psychology, but obviously that won't be happening."

"Oh that poor girl I could never imagine losing my parents…" I almost faced that once and it was breaking my heart just going back to that. "What did grandpa say about her?"

"Well he thinks she has two abilities, but they both kind of intertwine together." He stated with a yawn.

"Really what?" I wondered interested.

"Well when she was human, she was very attentive to peoples need and could usually tell what they wanted…which in a way made her more disciplined and patient when it came to her needs."

"Okay, well what do you think is her ability?" I asked.

"She doesn't demand blood like most newborns, she still needs it quite often but not nearly as much, and I guess the easiest way to say it would be she knows what your heart's desire is. For example when she first changed she knew all Jake wanted was to be with you Ness." He ended. His heart wanted me… it felt nice to hear it confirmed by someone else. I looked at him and smiled; in turn he took his eyes off the road and gave me a goofy grin with a shrug.

"That's awesome Seth." I finally replied looking back to him, but he didn't hear it because soft snores were now resonating through the car. "He's really smitten…" I said tucking my leg under my butt while staring out the window.

"Yeah I'm glad, I didn't want him to have to go through what Leah had to go through…it always amazes me how well Seth can get along with a vampire."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. Being a half vampire I guess it offended me a little.

"I just mean that we are supposed to be mortal enemies… but Seth has never thought of Vampires as enemies, not really anyways, he always gives everyone a chance." He said clearly backtracking.

"Mhm." I said nodding. I rolled the window down and let the wind blow through my hair as we flew towards forks: my home. Along the ride Jake and I blared the music over Seth's obnoxious snores and sang equally as loud. We pigged out the whole way there and Seth woke up a few times and helped us eat the junk food as well. I don't really remember falling asleep but I guess I did because I was being nudged awake by Jake as we pulled into our old driveway.

"We're here." He yelled at Seth who was again snoring away in the back. As we pulled to a stop I hopped out of the truck and stretched my legs. I stood there and stared at my old house with so many memories trapped inside. Boy do I miss forks and this place; it's my home and I think it always will be. Scratch that my home is where ever Jacob Black is… Caught in the moment I didn't even notice Jake walking up until I felt him take my hand. I looked up at him and gave him a weak smile.

"I know you miss it… so do I." He whispered. I nodded and walked next to him up the stairs to the house. I pushed the door open and inhaled. Everything generally looked the same, the sentimental things were gone but everything else looked as if it hadn't been touched. It was actually kind of an eerie feeling.

"Are you hungry?" Jake asked.

"I could go for some real food." I answered back plopping down on the couch.

"Well we have to bring Seth to Sue and you can see your grandpa Charlie for a while, then later on Rachel and Paul are having a cookout at their house with the pack so we can drop by there, how's that sound?"

"Sounds perfect."

"I'll be right back I'm gonna go put our stuff in my old room." he called over his shoulder as he started up the stairs. Seth came from around the corner and sat next to me on the couch.

"How does it feel to be back here Ness?" He asked.

"Like home…I didn't realized how much I missed it." I replied looking around.

"Yeah I miss it too."

"Ready guys?" Jake said upon reaching the foot of the stairs. I nodded and Seth sighed. Not much later we were pulling up in front of Grandpa and Sue's house. Before Jake could even turn the car off, I jumped out and sprinted up the stairs to the door. I decided against knocking so I cracked the door open, peered inside, and listening closely. I could hear a sports announcer coming from the TV, so grandpa must have been in the living room with Sue. I snuck as quietly as I could into the house where Grandpa was sitting on the couch with Sue under one arm and a beer in the other hand.

"Hey." I proclaimed making them both Jump with a start.

"Nessie!" Grandpa called setting his beer down. He got up and pulled me into a hug. "Who are you here with?" he asked.

"Us." Seth answered appearing in the doorway with a guilty grin.

"Oh Seth!" Sue wailed with tears in her eyes. She hopped up off the couch and I swear she was a vampire by how fast she had Seth in her arms. "I was so worried about you. Where have you been?"

"Mom I'm fine. I just needed to get a way for a while clear my head…" Seth replied soothingly while rubbing Sues back.

"What happened? Why would you leave and not contact anyone for days? " she asked still crying.

"My girlfriend and I broke up." He whispered back pained. I guess Lila hadn't totally cured his broken heart.

"We talked every day and because a girl broke up with you, you ran away and cut everyone off?" she replied getting close to hysterics. I shifted uncomfortably. This really wasn't a conversation I wanted to hear right now…

"Mom I had to deal with it somehow…I'm back though …honestly what's wrong?" he asked pushing her away so he could look at her.

"Seth I speak to your sister about three times a year, I haven't seen her in years, I feel like I've lost her…and then you go and do this to me? I felt like it was happening all over again." She whispered back.

"Mom I would never cut you out of my life…I'm not Leah." Seth said quietly pulling his mom back into a hug. After she was done crying into his shoulder we all sat around and caught up.

"So how long do you plan on being in town?" Grandpa asked as he walked Jake, Seth and I to the door.

"Well I'm not quite sure…" I said trailing off looking to Jake.

"Mmm, not for long just until some things get sorted at the house." Jake answered trying not to spell it directly out for him.

"Is everything okay?" Grandpa asked worriedly.

"Yeah, everything is fine we just have a new vampire and we don't want Nessie there just yet." I could see grandpa cringe when Jake said this, because he still wasn't quite comfortable with the idea of the supernatural yet. He knew about everything now, because when I was about two years in real age but about eightish physically grandpa started freaking out and asking questions, but before anyone could answer he would always stop them. Finally one day he sat mom down and told her to tell him everything because he was extremely worried about my ageing. Mom told him everything and he choked it down without a word, but I still don't think he's totally okay with it.

"I see." Grandpa replied confirming my suspicions that he was wasn't okay with the whole thing yet. I smiled at him sympathetically and hugged his waist tighter, he gave my shoulder a squeeze and then let go of me "So you guys are gonna come back for lunch tomorrow, right?"

"Yep we'll be here twelve o'clock sharp." Jake said with a nod. We said our good-byes and climbed in Jakes truck to set out for Rachel and Paul's house. We pulled up in front of their quaint little house in no time and I was bouncing in my seat. I know it really hadn't been that long since the last time I seen them, but going from seeing them anytime I really want to, to having to wait for a sporadic trip to forks really makes you appreciate your time together. As I was getting out it hit me…No one knew about Jake and I. I started to get nervous, is he going to avoid me? No this is Jake I'm talking about we were best friends before, everyone knew that. He just might not be as affectionate…which I can totally deal with because I have to deal with that at home. Before I could think about it any further Jake intertwined our fingers and gave me a smile.

"Ready to see everyone baby?" he asked pecking me on the cheek. The moment he took my hand the butterflies vanished.

"Absolutely." I commented back leaning into to him. It's amazing how he can take all of my fears away…Then I couldn't help but think about my biggest fear, the one that always seems to haunt me…Fucking imprinting. Now is going to be the time to talk to someone about it. As everyone came into view I scoped out all of the couples and the one I settled on was Brady and his fiancée Ashley. I would talk to Ashley about how she deals with the prospect of imprinting. She was really the only one I could talk to…Now that Brady had proposed; Sam thought it would be a good idea to tell her everything so she could decide if she really wanted in on this life, lucky for him she loved him enough to say yes. She is the only mate of a wolf who knows what I'm going through all the rest are imprints and just girlfriends. I cleared my mind and focused on Rachel who was waddling towards me with a smile on.

"Rachel!" I squealed excitedly. She and Paul were the only two who didn't come to my surprise birthday party because of her pregnancy.

"Nessie!" she yelped back excited. I let go of Jakes hand and enveloped her into as much of a hug as I could, which was hard because of the big basketball between us.

"How are you? How's the baby?" I inquired rubbing her stomach.

"We're both good. Driving me crazy, and keeping daddy up all night with kicking…Paul swears up and down the baby kicks him all night." She replied amused. I laughed and looped my arm through hers.

"So do you have any names picked out?" I wondered as we walked to the food table.

"Mhm we finally agreed, we've been arguing about it for months now. But if it's a girl which I pray it is, we're going to name her Sarah Elizabeth after my mom. And if it's a boy we are going to name him Oliver Paul Lahote I don't really know where I got the Oliver but I adore the name." she answered. "To be honest I think it's a girl." She added in whisper

"Those names are adorable, and to be honest I hope it's a girl too, but what does Paul want?"

"He wants a boy of course…" she said rolling her eyes. "But are you hungry? Because frankly I'm starved." She stated eyeing all the food. I let out a loud laugh and told her to go ahead why I said hello to everyone. I made my rounds and made sure to keep Ashley last. She was sitting at a table alone waiting for Kim and derrick's imprint Mandy to come back.

"Hey Ashley." I said upon reaching her.

"Hi Nessie." She greeted with a hug.

"How are you? I never really got to talk to you about the engagement…let me see the ring." I said catching myself, not wanting to seem like I only wanted to talk to her for my reasons, she really was a sweet girl. She held out her hand proudly with a smile on. It wasn't much but I knew it meant a lot.

"He told me he's been saving up for it since our first date because he knew I would be the one he was going to marry." She said admiring the ring.

"That's so sweet. So you must really love him, knowing everything about, I guess you could say the supernatural …" I trailed off leading her into the conversation.

"Oh I do, I love him so much. At first it really freaked me out… The whole wolf vampire thing, but the more I thought about it the more I realized, he's the same old Brady just now I know what the hell he's doing when he randomly leaves and has things to do with Sam."

"Mhm, but what about imprinting? How did you deal with that?" I inquired.

"Now that's still a daily struggle. Imprinting is what scares me the most; it means that I can lose Brady at any given moment. In the beginning I was so freaked out that I didn't even want him to go outside. I was literally paralyzed by fear; I almost called the whole thing off. The wedding, the engagement, the relationship... One day Brady and I had a really big blow out about it and I left. I walked the beach and I thought about it all day and I finally came to a conclusion. And that was that I wasn't going to let fear run my life. I went back home and told him he meant more than the world to me and I would just have to take things day by day and not let the chance of him imprinting scare me…I mean of course it still lingers in the back of my mind but when the fear starts creeping up on me, I always take a deep breath and tell myself that he's worth the risk." She ended. I sat deep in thought for a second and took it all in. She was absolutely right. I couldn't let the fear run my life like I have been. I'm just going to have to let go and live like imprints don't exist.

"Wow." Was all I could say.

"What about you? I see you and Jake are an 'item'" she said putting air quotes around item.

"I've been really freaked out about it…there has been a lot of talk about imprinting lately and it scares me like it does you. I don't think I've really come to terms with it all." I stated honestly.

"Yeah just take it day by day and things will get easier." She replied sympathetically. Our conversation came to an end as Kim and Mandy returned with food.

"I don't know how we ever have enough food, those damn boys can eat!" Mandy exclaimed as she set her food down. I nodded and got up to give her my seat.

"Here, you sit here I'm gonna go find Jake…Oh and Ashley, it was really nice to talk to you and congratulations on the wedding!"

"Thanks Nessie." She replied with a sweet smile. I said goodbye to Kim and Mandy and with that I turned and made my way through the crowd of people to find Jake.

After a much needed day of friends, family and fun I was exhausted.

"I miss it so much here." I commented walking up the stairs to the house.

"Me too, there's nothing like a good old BBQ and horsing around." He agreed pushing the door open. I turned to look at him.

"I know, you guys are a riot." I chuckled pulling a twig out of his hair. "You're a mess Jake." I added shaking my head and rolling my eyes.

"Yeah we got a little out of hand… What do you say I jump in the shower, wash up then we cuddle up in my old bed with a movie?"

"Sounds like a plan Mr. Black."

"You go on up. I'm gonna get some water. Kicking ass makes me thirsty." I nodded with a grin and tripped up the stairs clumsily. I swear something's never change. When I pushed Jakes door open I was engulfed with his scent. Nothing really changed except the pictures were gone from the walls but everything else remained exactly the same. I sighed with longing to be back here and made my way into the room to my bag which was propped on his enormous bed. I pulled it close and rummaged through it until I found a set of matching shorts and a tank top. I slipped out of my clothes, pulled my pajamas on, and leapt into jakes bed to wait for him to get out of the shower. It was like something from a movie when he opened the door…In walks Jake with steam pouring off his hot body in the conflicting cold air. He's in nothing but a towel with water droplets clinging shamelessly to his every rippling muscle. And his face as He walks over to me is plastered with a sexy grin.

"What, what are you doing?" I stutter out with my heart starting to race and my cheeks beginning to grow hot.

"Uh getting my clothes on unless you want me to sleep naked?" he replied sarcastically.

"Ha no we wouldn't want that." I answered back flustered. He grabbed his clothes with a grin and made his way back out of the room. I couldn't help but think of the conversation my mom and I had this morning. What the hell, I've never had these feelings before. He came back no less than two minutes later; he flipped the light off and dove on the bed.

"So what are we going to watch?" he questioned with his chin on my stomach.

"Um I don't care you choose babe." I answered back clearly distracted.

"We uh don't have to watch a movie." He stated seductively moving up towards my face. My heart sped up even faster as he reached my lips and sat an inch away. My breath started to quicken and I needed to feel his lips on mine, so I eagerly crushed my lips to his. He gave in and kissed me back passionately, after a few seconds I nibbled on his lip and he opened his mouth. I slid my tongue into his mouth and for the next ten minutes our tongues danced together perfectly. I couldn't take it anymore so I pulled away breathless.

"Jake I need to ask you something…" I trailed off panting. He had his head in the nape of my neck trying to slow his breathing down.

"Hmm" he grunted.

"Would you…Have you…have you ever thought about having sex with me?" I sputtered out quickly. It sounded like he stopped breathing altogether and then he pushed away and sat up in the dark.

"Well I can't say that I have…" he replied slowly while rubbing the back of his neck. Great, so he doesn't want me…? "I just don't think we've progressed there yet, not uh not saying I wouldn't want to in the future." He stuttered.

"Just to know that there is a someday is enough for me." I stated pulling him back to kiss me. He complied and we made out for what felt like an hour. After we finally stopped Jake pulled me close to cuddle.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear and followed it with a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you too." I whispered back softly rubbing his arm that was holding me. He pulled me closer and we both fell asleep almost instantly. The next morning Jake and I were both jolted awake by his loud obnoxious phone ringing out. He rolled over and pulled it off the night stand and looked at the caller I.D.

"Your mom." He croaked out. I grunted and started to fall back asleep, until Jake started talking.

"Hey Bells, what's up?...Yeah it's okay we should probably be getting up anyways… Really that's great, well were having lunch with Charlie and Sue but after that we'll hit the road…Alright see you soon, later."

"Well babe it looks like they are ready for us already. So after Lunch we'll hit the road?" he babbled. I grunted and rolled over to face him.

"Okay, but can we go back to sleep until eleven-thirty?" I questioned groggily.

"I guess since it's only seven." He answered with a kiss. I accepted and slipped back into unconsciousness that fast. The Next thing I know is Jakes phone alarm is blaring into the morning silence.

"Rise and shine sleepy head." Jake whispered with a kiss. I threw my arms above my head and stretched all of my sleeping limbs out.

"Eleven-thirty already?" I questioned still not opening my eyes.

"Yup we've got to go to your grandpa's for lunch remember?" he asked amused. I nodded and rolled over into Jake's massive chest.

"Okay I'm getting up." I mumbled from his chest.

"Sure looks like it." He replied wrapping his arms around me. I nuzzled close to him and felt the warmth of his body radiating against my exposed skin. I couldn't lose him. But just in case it did happen I need to prepare myself. Maybe I'll talk to Seth about it since he's been through just that. I exhaled loudly went to start getting ready.

"So what did my mom say this morning?" I hollered from the closet, where I getting dressed.

"She just said that Lila seemed to be fine with your scent. Apparently she has amazing self-restraint." He yelled back. I yanked on a yellow tunic and white strappy sandals and journeyed out of the closet.

"Well that's good, I'm excited to meet somebody new." I explained as I pulled half of my hair up while the rest of the curls cascaded down my back loosely.

"She's nice, I could get used to her around." Jake came up behind me and wrapped his colossal warm arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. "Are you ready to go beautiful?" I nodded and kissed his cheek. Not much later I was waiting on Grandpa's stoop.

"Do you think we should tell him about this." I asked pointing between the two of us. Anxiety flooded Jake's face.

"Ness, I uh think Charlie's having a hard time swallowing everything as it is…to tell him that you and I are together…" He said rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly just as grandpa flung the door open. He was covered in flour and he had something smeared all over him.

"Just in time!" he exclaimed with his arms open wide. I gave Jake one last look and went in the house with grandpa where we entered the kitchen. Sue had her hair in a bun with an apron on and was flipping a pancake on the stove.

"I hope you don't mind eating breakfast for lunch, we got a bit of a late start." Sue announced over her shoulder.

"Are you helping?" I asked grandpa amused.

"I'm trying." He replied cracking an egg.

"Where's Seth?" Jake asked lowering himself into a chair at the table.

"Passed out up in the spare bedroom." Sue answered.

"I'll go wake him up." I responded quickly.

"Good idea Ness." Grandpa said not taking his eyes off his batter he was mixing. I shot Jake a grin and made my way up to what used to be my mom's old room. Now it was a spare bedroom and an office. Seth looked like a sleeping child with his many limbs hanging off the small twin bed in all directions. I crept slowly to the bed and plopped down obnoxiously. He bolted up and was looking around on high alert.

"Time to wake up princess." I giggled.

"Oh hey Ness, you scared the shit out of me." He said rubbing his eyes groggily.

"Listen I need to talk to you." I replied lowering my voice to a whisper.

"Okay what about?" he answered back quietly. I put my hand on his cheek and projected us talking alone because I didn't want Jake to hear. "Is everything okay?" he whispered. I nodded and got up to go down stairs.

"I'll meet you downstairs." I said loudly so Jake could hear. I got back to the kitchen and started plotting how I was gonna get out with Seth alone, when my saving grace rolled into the Kitchen with Justine.

"Hey Jake." Billy said with a grin.

"Hey dad." Jake replied with a face lighting smile. Seth walked around the corner and I knew if I was gonna do it, it had to be now. So I made my way to the fridge and pulled the door open, I looked around to see what I could make an excuse for.

"Hey grandpa, do you have any orange juice?" I questioned double checking that there was none.

"I knew we forgot something Sue." He replied hitting his head leaving a large white hand print.

"Uh how about I run to the store to get some?" I inquired.

"Sure Ness, can you drive?" Grandpa asked wiping his hands on his pants.

"Seth can, would you mind driving me to get some orange juice?" I asked hoping he would get the hint.

"Yeah, that's fine. Mom could I use your car?" Jake stopped talking to his dad and looked at me quizzically.

"I could drive you Nessie…" Jake stated confused.

"No you talk to your dad, we'll be right back." I commented heading to the front door. I could see him watching me as Seth and I climbed into Sue's truck, I felt bad but this was the only way I could think of being able to talk to Seth.

As soon as we pulled off my phone vibrated, and when I pulled it out of my pocket it reveal a text from Jake.

_Is everything okay? - Jake_

_Yes just going to get juice. - Ness_

_Why didn't you ask me to go? - Jake_

_Because you're talking to your dad, I'll be right back- Ness_

_Okay… - Jake_

_I love you. – Ness_

_I love you too…- Jake_

"So Ness what's up?" Seth investigated as we were cruising down the street.

"I want to talk to you about something that's gonna be hard to talk about…" I stated trailing off.

"Oh boy, shoot." He mumbled worriedly.

"It's about imprinting." I slipped out quietly. I could see him swallow hard and then exhaled loudly.

"What about imprinting Nessie?"

"How have you been dealing with it?" I babbled.

"You see what I did…I ran away." He strained out.

"I know but how did you come to the understanding?"

"Why, do you wanna know all this?" he wondered.

"Because I'm trying to prepare myself, for if it happens." I whispered. Seth sighed and rubbed his face.

"Look Ness I don't think I'm the right person to talk to about this…why don't you talk to Jake?" he replied frustrated as we were pulling up to the store.

"I can't talk to Jake about this…He's never been through this." I commented as we wandered up and down the aisles.

"But he has Ness. His was worse though, the willingly girl chose someone else over him." He stated pulling a bottle of orange juice off the shelf. He was right…Maybe I should be talking to Jake about this. What am I saying? Of course I should be talking to him he's my boyfriend. I shouldn't be talking to other people about my fears, I need to be talking to the guy I love.

"Maybe your right Seth." I got in the car and I knew I would talk to Jake as soon as we were alone.

"Yeah, if you want a way you shouldn't act, just look at my sister Leah. She went insane. It wasn't necessary half the shit she did." He said with a chuckle. Maybe I would give her a call; everyone's always telling me what a bitch she's been but maybe there's more to the story? We drove up to the house and Jake was sitting on the stairs looking worried. I tripped out of the car and waited for Seth to go inside before sitting down next to Jake.

"I'm ready to talk now." I babbled quickly.

"What the hell did you and Seth talk about?" he asked wide eyed.

"Imprinting." I stated firmly. Jake hung his head and sighed loudly.

"I've been really worried about it, but I've talked to some people and I'm feeling better." I whispered.

"Okay, but my question to you is; why didn't you talk to me about your fears?" he inquired softly.

"I know I should have, but every time I say something to you about it you just brush it off…but I have something to ask you."

"You can ask me anything Ness, you should know that." He replied with frustration sneaking into his tone.

"How did you cope with my mom choosing my dad over you?" I questioned in less than a whisper. I could see that caught him off guard because he stumbled over his words.

"Honestly I uh, well I, I ran for days and then there was you." Me...that is something else in and of itself.

"Why do you boys always run?" I asked myself under my breath.

"Because that's my way I handled the rejection… that's how I handle everything. When I run is when my mind is the clearest." He answered.

"I don't think that's how I'm going to react." I snickered laying my head on Jakes comforting shoulder.

"What do you mean?" Jake pulled away so he could look me in the eyes.

"Nothing, you know me a drama queen…"I shrugged. I think I'd be more like Leah and over react. Running really isn't an option but I know it would be like the world is ending if I lost him.

"Breakfast's ready." Seth wailed from the house.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear Nessie, but everything is going to be fine." He laid out firmly pulling me to my feet. I didn't want to hear it because a life without him wouldn't be okay. But I needed to hear it. There was something in his voice that assured me like it never has before, and I finally let it go. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to call Leah. I felt bad she had such a bad rap and I was genuinely interested.

After hours of laughing eating and horsing around Jake and I were climbing into his truck to set off back to Oregon. Seth was going to stay and wait for Leah who was on her way from Chicago and then she was going to drop him back off in Oregon so she could see Jake and Embry. I decided it was then I was going to talk to her. As we pulled off I could see that Jake was leaving a part of himself behind. I didn't see it when we left because I was so distraught…but now I can see how hard it is for him.

"Jake I have to ask you a serious question to ask you." I commented.

"Yeah sure what's up Ness?" he replied with a sadness I knew he meant to hide.

"All those years ago when I sat on your lap and you made a decision to move with us and leave everything you've ever known behind, why did you do that?" he looked at me with an odd expression on and answered slowly.

"Because of you…honestly girl how many times do I have to tell you, you're my whole life?" he stated amused. I expected that answer, but I didn't expect the sting…

"Do you want to come back?" I whispered.

"Of course I do Ness, but I go where you go… you're my heart." He answered back looking between me and the road. "Where is this coming from?"

"I see how much you miss your life here." I choked out.

"Nessie please see, that if I came back here without you I would be a shell of a man because no matter how sad I am when I leave, as long as you're what I'm leaving with I'll be just fine." He grabbed my hand and kissed it gently. I smile at him, knotted our fingers together and just enjoyed my time with Jake.

When we finally pulled up in front of the house, I got out so I could anxiously await for the introduction to Lila. When Lila opened the door I could defiantly see the resemblance between Jordan and her…She was of average height with curves in all the right places. Her skin was a beautiful Carmel color and her deep brown hair framed her pretty heart shaped face. She walked over to me flanked by nearly the whole family and stopped.

"Hi I'm Lila it's so nice to finally meet you." Her tinkling voice rang out.

"Obviously I'm Nessie and it's nice to meet you as well!" I exclaimed shaking her hand. I could tell we were going to get a long swimmingly and she would fit in our odd family somewhere.

The next couple of days passed without a hitch and just like I knew Lila fit in perfectly. Jake she and I all went hunting and the next day we had a cookout with Embry and Jordan. She was very sweet and everyone liked her right away; especially grandpa and grandma. They really took to her; because she is only nineteen and because of her heart wrenching past. Instantly they insisted that she stay at the house until she was fully adjusted to vampire life. But after she expressed to us she had absolutely no desire to taste human blood, they informed her they would start building a small guest house in the back until she was positively sure she could refrain from it. She agreed but said she would leave as soon as she was sure because she didn't want to impose. After everyone told her she wasn't imposing she felt a little better, and then came the constant thank-yous to my grandparents for all of their amazing hospitality. But the best thing about Lila being here was that we had to work out a place for me to sleep while she was crashing in my room and my parents reluctantly agreed to let me sleep with Jake until the building was done and settled.

It was just about dawn because the sky was my favorite shade of pale blue and the birds were already chirping. I rolled over to kiss Jake but all it was, was an empty bed…Where's Jake? I pushed the blankets to the foot of the bed and climb out so I could go find out where he was. Something from outside caught my eye and I could see that it was Jake playing on his phone. Since fall was descending upon us and I knew it was going to be a tad bit chilly, so I walked to the closet and pulled on one of Jakes long sleeved shirts and yanked some socks on. Maybe it was the pure morning silence that evoked the unnecessary feeling but I quietly slipped out the room and made my way through the house towards the back door. When I reached my destination Jake was no longer playing with his phone but lying on a lounge chair with his eyes closed. I snuck over to the chair and sat on the edge where he smiled without a flutter of his eyelids.

"What are you doing out here?" I whispered shattering the beautiful quiet.

"Oh nothing Seth called and I didn't want to wake you… him and Leah left forks a while ago and they should be here soon." He replied softly opening his striking brown eyes. He scooted over giving me room so I could lie next to him and patted the spot with a smile. I gladly accepted and I rested my head on his arm and cuddle into his side where he just held me in a comfortable silence. I listened to the calming sound of his strong pulsating heart and the sweet sounds of the world around us awakening with light. I loved moments like this where it just seemed like time was standing still with just me and him. A car pulling into the drive way alerted both of us that the moment was over.

"That's them…you finally get to meet the joy that is Leah." He stated sitting us both up. Butterflies began to swarm my stomach and I got up to follow Jake. When we walked around the corner a girl favoring Seth got out of the small silver car with a mask on her face. She was very pretty if only she would smile…

"Leah this is Nessie." Jake said pointing to me. I stuck my hand out and after a malicious look from Jake she shook it reluctantly.

"Nice to meet you." She said through her teeth.

"You too." I added assertively. I didn't care if she liked me or not I was still going to talk to her. We all stood there for a few seconds awkwardly until Jake suggested we go inside. Leah shot Jake a look and I knew it was because she never liked my family and it would make her uncomfortable.

"Actually I told Embry I would go visit him so I better hit the road…" she replied trying to be nice. Jake rolled his eyes and turned to go back inside.

"Fine Leah, it was nice seeing you too." He spat viciously, and with that he disappeared inside. I turned back to Leah who was staring after Jake with a strange look on…

"Uh Leah I was wondering if I could talk to you." I started quietly. She looked at me like I had five heads and I knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"What could you possibly want to talk to me about?" she spit cruelly.

"I want to know your story." I replied mustering up confidence with every word.

"My what?" she shot back.

"What your life has been like since after you were hurt by the imprinting…"

"Why would I tell you that?" she seethed. Ugh can she get over herself and just talk to me damn it.

"Because I know how Seth and Jake dealt with it, now I want to know how you did." I answered back letting the frustration get the best of me.

"Jake didn't have to deal with anything he was saved by imprinting on you." Her eyes grew eight sizes and my head started spinning. Did she just say Jake imprinted on me? No she had to be lying… "Shit I've got to go!" she said getting in her car.

"What did you just say?" I yelped grabbing her door before she could pull it shut. Just then Jake walked out of the house paler than I've ever seen him. "No you tell me what the fuck you just said!" I yelled.

"I… I uh shouldn't have said anything!" she replied her voice shaking. I looked at Jake and I knew she was telling the truth. She slammed her door shut, tore out of the driveway and sped away leaving me standing there trying to comprehend what the fuck was happening. Jake walked down the stairs and over to me slowly.

"Ness?" he whispered.

"Tell me you haven't been keeping this from me?" I replied just as quiet not letting any emotion into my voice.

"Look Ness I was waiting for the right time…" he said taking my hand. I was fucking livid; I didn't even know what to say. I ripped my hand away from him and apparently found my voice because I exploded.

"Are fucking kidding me! After all of worries and fears you still didn't fucking tell me?"

"I was going to…" he strained out moving close to me.

"No get away from me!" I wailed pushing him. "When were you going to tell me Jake? When we were married? When we had kids?"

"No I knew I was going to have to tell you soon…" he trailed off.

"You were going to have to tell me soon…really what gave you that impression? Was it me crying myself to sleep when you went to that party because I was afraid you were going to imprint, or was it when my heart was nearly ripped from my chest when Embry imprinted on Jordan because I scared to death that was going to be me; Standing in the wake of disaster." I screamed. I felt like a crazy woman flailing my arms around and my eyes bulging from my head.

"I know you're mad and you have every right to be, but it just never seemed like the right time." He said his tone begging for forgiveness.

"So you just stood by and watched the fear of imprinting consume me knowing that I was preparing myself for total devastation and you did nothing?"

"You're right and I'm so, so, so extremely sorry." He replied imploringly.

"Sorry? Didn't you fucking learn not to keep things from me the first time shit like this happened?" I shouted.

"I should have told you sooner, can you ever forgive me?" he begged.

"Just go the fuck away I can't even look at you right now and who knows when I'll be able to again!" I snapped pushing him out of my way. I stomped up the stairs and smashed the door in just as I heard Jake shredding his clothes. Good he can go as far away from me as possible because at this point I want nothing to do with him or anybody else in this damn house.

"Renesmee baby we're all sorry." My mom spoke quietly. I shot her a nasty look and kept on pounding up the stairs because I knew if I opened my mouth I would become belligerent and end up making it worse. To add to the sting, my heart started tearing itself to shreds. I didn't care though I already felt like my heart was breaking. I never thought I would feel this kind of pain from Jacob and it was killing me that I was. I flung myself on the bed and started hyperventilating. I should have known! If I was paying attention all the signs would have shown me I'm Jakes imprint. The pain when we're apart, him always stumbling over his words when he tells me I'm his reason for living, the attachment. Shit he's a sexy guy him not ever having a girlfriend should have fucking spelled it out for me. The more I think about it the more I feel like a fucking moron for not seeing it sooner. All the signs have been there! I mean this is the best case scenario… But to be honest I didn't want to see anybody right now including Jacob Black. I need to clear my head damn it. I was opening the door to go for a walk when it felt like a swift punch to the stomach…something was wrong, very, very wrong. I stopped to catch my breath but I had to get to someone. I straightened up and got down stairs as fast as I could.

"Something's wrong we have to find Jake." I said when I reached the living room.

Just then my phone started vibrating; I pulled it out and looked at the caller I.D…Embry

"Hello?" I blathered.

"Nessie something's wrong! Leah called me and told me something happened and that I needed to phase just in case Jake did so I could talk him down, if I needed too. When he finally phased he was freaking out, he kept saying 'it's over I've ruined everything.' Then he caught a scent we've been tracking for a few weeks and I started sprinting to him, but before I could get to him and before he could go on guard it came out of nowhere!" he babbled.

"What do you mean?" I choked out.

"A vampire…"

"Is he okay?" I asked feeling light headed. I already knew the answer but I had to hear it confirmed.

"No Nessie, they were fighting and something happened. I don't know what though because I was so flustered in trying to get to him when everything started going fuzzy then it went black…" I dropped the phone and sat on the couch in a daze. I could see Uncle Jasper pick up the phone while mom came to sit next to me. She took my hand and began rubbing it soothingly.

"Edward can you hear him?" she inquired imploringly.

"No he must be out of my range. Emmett Jasper and I will go out to try and find him." He replied back strained. He gave Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper a look and a nod and then they vanished.

"Esme and I will go up and start setting up for when they get back with Jacob just to be prepared." Grandpa said leaving. And just like that everyone had dispersed. I looked around and everything was spinning but in the blur of it all I could make out my Aunts both sitting on the couch. Aunt Alice was balled up in the corner trying to see the future, but I knew the attempt was insignificant because Jake was to directly involved. I started to feel numb and everything was getting even hazier, the next thing I know is I felt my head hit the pillow and randomly I would hear my mom or aunts say something. My heart started mending so I sat up and waited for them to come inside. When they walked in carrying him I wasn't ready for what I seen…I dove off the couch just to be caught around the waist by my mom.

"Jake!" I screamed after him. "Let me go I have to see him!" I wailed breaking down. My dad brought him up stairs and came back around the corner with a grave look on. I was still fighting tooth and nail to get to him but they wouldn't let me.

"Renesmee, stop and listen to me!" My dad snapped upon reaching me. I stopped defeated and started sobbing.

"I have to see him this is my fault." I cried dropping to my knees. My mom knelt beside me and rubbed my back.

"It's not your fault Renesmee…"

"Yes it is! I told him to go away! He told me he would never leave unless I told him too!" I wailed hysterically.

"Your grandfather is doing all he can for Jacob, just stay down here and you can see him as soon as we know what's going on." My dad said looking into my eyes. I nodded trying to catch my breath as my mom helped me up onto the couch. I continued to bawl hysterically but all I could really do now was play the waiting game.

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**A/N: Sooo it finally came out good job Leah. and of course it was a blow out like i'm sure you all anticipated...and Jake uh oh. i hope you're still hanging in there with me and a million thanks to those who are and a million and one thanks to those who review it lets me know i'm not writing this for myself. So tell me what you think. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**you know the deal Sm did it.**

**A/N: So a better update ey? I was honestly going to go on a hiatus...but your reviews kept me going. So i wanna again thank you for them. a little shorter but i think it gets the point across? Well here you go.**

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**NPOV**

Five minutes…

Ten minutes…

Fifteen minutes…

Twenty minutes…

All I could focus on was the ticking second hand of the damn clock. Every second I didn't know what was going on, was a second that I felt as if I was dying. I need to know what the fuck is happening. I finally managed to stop sobbing uncontrollably, and honestly I have no idea how…maybe it was because I was numb.

I wish someone would move, say something…anything, but they were all statues scattered around the room. It was eerily silent and all I could hear was the screaming of my thoughts… I sat and continued to tell myself Jake is going to be just fine, while I stared at that damn. Ticking. Second hand. on that clock. Finally twenty two minutes and thirteen seconds later I could hear them descending the stair case. I scooted to the edge of the couch because if I stood I'm sure I would collapse. Grandpa walked into the living room looking grave, with dad right behind him looking just as grim. My heart sank.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"I'm not going to sugar coat it…he doesn't look good." Grandpa stained out.

"What's wrong?" I questioned imploringly with the tears threating to start again.

"Well from what I gathered from Embry was that Jacob was blindsided by a vampire we've been tracking. In the process of the fight Jacob received a large contusion to his skull." He started desolately. Jakes a wolf a bump on the head should have healed almost instantly; there shouldn't be any trace of it by now. This can't be good.

"Another crucial occurrence in the fight was that he received a large wound to his arm, but before it could heal properly it seems the vampire must have salivated, and after many tests I regret to say his blood is testing positive for vampire venom." It was like everyone in the room took one swift intake of breath but me. I didn't quite understand, what did it mean?

"To wolves vampire venom is toxic and in the right circumstances Renesmee… it can be fatal." Dad answered my thoughts as he sat down on the other side of mom. Tears started to well up as the numbness began to fade. I couldn't lose Jake.

"So is he going to be… okay?" I inquired swallowing back a sob. Grandpa shifted uncomfortably as my warm tears started to spill out overwhelmingly.

"With the injuries he's accumulated and the addition of the venom it isn't looking good. The venom has weakened his system and he's not healing at his normal rapid pace. From the tests I've ran it has shown his body is completely shutting down in order to repair itself…" He ended solemnly. This can't be happening… "But you should know Renesmee he is fighting."

"Can I see him, please?" I begged as the tears just kept coming.

"He seems to be stable. But I must warn you he doesn't look good." Grandpa answered shaking his head. I nodded and walked slowly up the stairs mentally preparing myself for what was to come. But when I nudged that door open all of the mental preparing in the world couldn't have gotten me ready for that sight.

My poor colorless Jacob was lying in the middle of the room on an oversized cot. There were more tubes and wires coming out of him then I cared to count and the machine that was unnaturally pumping his chest up and down scared me. I bit my lip to keep the sobs from escaping and crept quietly to his bed side. I groaned and my stomach constricted as I got a better view of my damaged Jacob. He looked unrecognizable as I looked him over closely; his beautiful features were nowhere in sight. His eyes were swollen and were both a deep shade of purple and black. They had cleaned his face so the numerous cuts that covered it were raw and dominate and the parts of his mutilated body that weren't incased in plaster and gauze were littered with bruises and lacerations. What the fuck did that thing do to him? I positioned my head on his chest to listen to his heart; and what once was a strong and powerful heartbeat had been replaced by a feeble erratic thumping. I inhaled deeply and wiped off the tears that I had left on his chest.

"You can't leave me." I told him in a frenzied whisper. "You're my heart, you're my soul, you're my life… you're my imprint" I choked out falling into the loveseat next to him. I totally lost my grip and started bawling uncontrollably. I laid my head on his arm and continued with my hysterics until I heard someone enter the room. I could immediately tell who it was that sat next to me and pulled me into them where I continued to cry convulsively. It kind of surprised me who it was…

"Shh it's okay Ness." Uncle Emmett voiced soothingly while rubbing my back.

"No it's not! It's all my fault!" I wailed repeating what I had already stated.

"It's not Nessie honest." He replied comfortingly.

"But I told him to go away." I blubbered out.

He pushed me away to look me in the eyes and stated firmly "It's not your fault, Jake was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, it could have happened to anyone." It was so weird seeing Uncle Emmett serious. But honestly at this point nothing anyone said would help how I felt, until Jake opened his eyes again.

"The guy I love is hanging on by a thread and there's nothing I can do." I babbled.

"I know, I know." He replied quietly pulling me back into his chest where I continued my crying. I finally pulled myself together when I'm pretty sure I had no more tears in my body left to expel. My head was pounding and my eyes were burning as I wiped the last of my tears away. I looked at Uncle Emmett through puffy eyes and sighed; His shirt looked like a human would after he had just run a twenty mile marathon in the dead of summer with a hundred percent humidity.

"You feel any better kiddo? Because frankly your tears are tearing me apart… and not to mention drenching me." He teased pulling his shirt over his head. I grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

"Can I ask you something?" I sniffled.

"Sure lay it on me."

"I'm thankful you did, but why did you come? I was expecting Mom or dad…" I wondered genuinely interested.

"Well everyone is pretty distraught about Jake…so I volunteered to come, being the strongest in the family and all." He answered jokingly. I looked at Jake and took his hand.

"You hear that? Everyone else loves you too…please come back to us." I whispered. Just then my dad came around the corner and knocked on the open door. Uncle Emmett got up to leave just as he was entering the room.

"Thanks a lot Uncle Em." I added before he got too far.

"Anytime kiddo…" he replied over his shoulder with a weak smile. I sighed and began rubbing Jakes surprisingly cold hand. It was like everything that made him a wolf was gone.

"We just called Billy and Rachel and informed them of the news." Dad said calmly as he leaned on the frame of the door.

"What did they say?" I asked averting my gaze back to Jake.

"Quil, Rachel, and Billy are all on their way here... So expect company soon." He answered back quietly. _I really just want to be alone with him. _I thought not looking anywhere but at the love of my life.

"I understand" I heard him whisper and with that the door shut quietly behind him. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and made myself comfortable, carefully making sure I didn't hit any of Jakes tubes. I laid my head on his arm and started talking to him.

"You know one of my most favorite memories I have with you from when I was little, was when you snuck into my room at like two a.m. You had a whole winter snow suit, a hat, gloves and boots all balled up and stuffed under your arms… I remember I was dreaming about you and then you whispered in my ear 'wake up little one.' I blinked my eyes open and flung my arms around your neck because there was nothing I loved more than your face being the first thing I would see when I would wake up. You told me it was the first snow of the season and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere special with you. I literally jumped at the chance because I remember nearly falling out of my bed… but of course you caught me. I bundled up and you took my hand and we walked through the woods towards the beach. I remember you telling me you loved the sound of snow crunching beneath your feet and how magical the snow made everything look. We finally reached the beach and by some weird fate we both looked up… and there in a gap in the clouds, a shooting star streaked across the sky. You said 'quick Nessie make a wish!' so I squeezed my eyes together as tight as I could and wished for you to never leave me..." I ended not being able to go on. "I'm sorry I broke my wish and told you to go." I added in a weak whisper as a tear rolled down my cheek… I guess I still had some liquid left in me after all. I inhaled deeply and brushed the stray tear away. I need to be strong for Jake, crying isn't going to help. I gently took his arm and snuggled up to it, and that was where I stayed listening to the irregular beeping of the heart monitor. Sometime later there was a light knock on the door.

"Come in." I croaked out. My mom opened the door slowly and shot a quick look at Jake.

"Uh Jake's family is here baby and they want to know if they could come see him?" She asked quietly.

"Of course I don't know why they need to ask." I said placing Jakes arm back on his bed.

"Because this is clearly the hardest on you… you're his imprint Renesmee." She stated softly. I nodded and turned back to Jake.

"I'll be back." I rubbed his hair and gave him a kiss on the forehead before leaving. I started up the stairs towards Jakes room when my mom stopped me.

"Where are you going, you're not going to come downstairs?" she inquired curiously.

"I can't bear to look Jake's family in their eyes…he's in this predicament because of me." I replied hesitantly.

"Renesmee nobody blames you." She communicated simply.

"So you say." I moaned.

"Have you forgotten your father is a mind reader? They all want to see Jake and make sure you're okay." she spilled. I sighed and sat down on the stair. I'm not okay.

"I feel so stupid!" I mumbled putting my head into my hands and letting my hair create a curtain around me.

"What do you mean sweetheart?" My mom asked concerned sitting next to me.

"I should have been ecstatic when I found out Jake is my imprint…he's all I've ever wanted, and now because of my stubbornness and idiocy I may never get him back." I muttered out as tears splashed in my lap.

"Renesmee, you had the right to be mad. We all could have handled the situation a different way. We are trying to navigate the waters in the best we can with you. But sometimes what we think is the right way, isn't. We're just trying to keep your best interest at heart." She said back soothingly. It wasn't comforting though, it was more like a swift kick to the gut. They were always trying to do what was right for me and I was always a selfish brat about it. It couldn't have been easy for Jake keeping this from me all these years. And then having to sit by and watch me go out on a date with another guy. Damn it I'm so inconsiderate, it's not like they did these things to intentionally hurt me. It's sad that it takes Jakes life to be threatened for me to figure this out.

"Nobody is at fault here Renesmee, I hope you can see that." My mom said pushing my hair out of her way so she could see my face.

"I'll never forgive myself if he doesn't pull through." I replied honestly, wiping my tears with the back of my sleeve.

"Let's not think like that, he'll come back to you. He loves his Nessie too much to leave her." She answered. She stood up, kissed me on the forehead and stuck out her hand. I obliged and walked down the stairs with her. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, Rachel was waiting and I was immediately enveloped awkwardly in her arms.

"Nessie are you okay?" she investigated pulling away and pushing the hair that was in my face back behind my ears. I decided that lying wouldn't work, because I could feel my chin start to tremble so I went the honesty route. I shook my head no and instantly broke down again. I don't know why I did but I think it was because she has an imprint so she knew how intense the bond between Jake and I is.

"He'll be okay. I know my brother loves you way too much to leave you." she whispered wiping the tears off. Everyone kept saying that and I sure hope they're right. I nodded and composed myself so I could face everyone else who was in the next room. I dragged myself around the corner and into the living room where a cloud of desolation hung in the air. It was like everyone stopped talking and looked at me as I appeared quietly in the doorway. The first thing that caught my attention was Billy's face; it was filled with so much anguish that it almost sent me into another fit of tears. I have no idea what was I going to say to him. Before I could think on it any longer Quil and Embry came to greet me with warm hugs. Those hugs gave me a comfort no one else would be able to give me, because they were the closest thing I had to a Jacob hug. Next I stumbled over to Billy and stood by him at a loss for words. He looked up at me with a face full of misery and took my quaking hand.

"I know Jake loves you more than anything in this world, with that being said I also know you are the one that will bring him back to us." He said softly. I took a large gulp of air to keep my composure and answered with the only genuine thing I could think to say.

"I sure hope your right Billy and I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to do just that." I stated fiercely. Grandpa walked up and the moment ended. Billy gave me a gentle smile and patted my hand just before letting it go.

"I want to thank you for everything." Billy directed to grandpa.

"Of course your son means a lot to this family." Grandpa answered back honestly.

"I'm very thankful you've prepared for the worse by having everything to keep him alive." Billy commented with the utmost sincerity in his voice. I left them alone to talk and wondered like a lost puppy through the house.

The next thing I knew I was blinking my eyes open looking at a wall in a confused daze. I stretched out all of my limbs that were aching because I was balled up cuddling a pillow for what must have been hours. When I rolled over to an empty bed and a quiet room, it all came rushing back… The imprint fight, Jake running into the woods and everything else that came after. Please tell me it was all just a horrible nightmare. I staggered out of Jake's lonely bed and made my way through the dark and quiet house to Grandpa's office. As I reached the door I leaned against it to listen. As if it was responding to my unasked question a steady beeping rang out clear as day. I turned my back to the door and slid down it slowly until my butt hit the floor. Nothing about this was a nightmare it was all real and staring me dead in the face. I stood up wearily, inhaled deeply and turned the knob to the room. Nothing had changed and that included the tortured feeling I got when I looked at him. I snuck to his bed and kissed his icy cheek before taking post next to his bed where I knew I would be for days to come.

I was right I stayed by Jake day and night only leaving his side to shower and eat. I kept myself occupied with the homework my parents picked up from school, my laptop and my guitar. I felt like my guitar was the only thing keeping me sane because when I strummed the strings it took me away from my heart wrenching reality. It had been a few days and Jake's was looking a little better. His heartbeat had become more regular and he had more color to him. His wounds were healing slowly like regular human wounds would, which at first I was thankful for… That is until I overheard my Grandpa worrying to dad about how he was thinking that the venom might have done something to his wolf chromosomes and that if he recovered he wouldn't be a wolf anymore. I really didn't see what was wrong with that as long as I got my Jake back, I would be fine. But then it hit me…if Jake didn't have his wolf genes he would start to age again and that would ultimately lead to me being without him. I decided right then and there that I wasn't going to dwell on it because I honestly didn't know how much more pain and bad news I could take. I was laying lazily on the loveseat with my feet on the arm reading one of my favorite books when my dad came in. I laid the book on my chest and looked at him with anticipation.

"We need to talk." He stated simply. I could feel all of the blood in my face drain. What if something new was wrong with Jake? "Nothing new is wrong with Jacob; he's still in the same stable condition." He said answering my thoughts.

"Okay then what do we need to talk about?" I questioned hesitantly.

"School. It's time for you to go back." He spilled.

"No way." I shot back immediately.

"It's not up for discussion Renesmee." He scolded.

"I'm not leaving him, he needs me." I begged in a strained whisper. My dad sighed, sat on the arm rest of the couch, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I know you want to be with him, but you sitting around doing nothing isn't good. You need to get out, get some fresh air, socialize with your friends…" He trailed off.

"No I don't want too." I spat like a two year old. He narrowed his eyes at me threateningly and got up.

"As I told you before, it's not up for discussion. You're going, so you might want to get a good night sleep in a bed." He commanded and closed the door behind him. I huffed and buried my face in the couch with tears brimming in my eyes. There was no use in arguing, but one thing I was not going to do was sleep in Jakes bed alone. So I made myself as comfortable as I could on the small couch and forced myself into an uneasy sleep. Next thing I know my mom is shaking me awake and telling me to go get ready. The morning passed in a hazy blur as I dragged myself through my morning routine. I pulled on some classic jeans, a pink long sleeved scoop neck top, and some black flats and went to the bathroom to do my hair. I wasn't in the mood so I pulled it up into a messy ponytail and went to say goodbye to Jake. I gave him a gentle peck on the cheek, told him I loved him and I would be home as soon as school was out. I gave him one last look and made my way grumpily down to the kitchen. On the counter was my breakfast that I figured I better eat. So I shoveled the spinach and tomato omelet down my throat quickly, grabbed my keys, coat and backpack and left out the back to avoid having to talk to anyone because I was pretty pissed. It felt like my heart started ripping itself violently out of my chest with every mile that flew behind me and I knew this day was going to be disastrous.

When I parked at the school I was in crippling pain with every uneven thump my heart managed. But I couldn't put it off any longer and frankly I just wanted to get this fucking day over with. I could feel all eyes on me as the girl with no makeup on walked down the halls. I'm sure I looked like something straight out of a zombie flick. Personally I didn't care I had other bigger problems to keep myself occupied. As I walked into my math class I could see relief flood Kenzie's face and then worry touch her pretty features again.

"Holy shit Nessie, where the hell have you been I've been calling and calling trying to get a hold of you and I never got an answer." She rambled out as I sat in my normal seat.

"Some stuff has been going on at my house..." I started thankfully being cut off by the bell.

She shot me a sympathetic look and whispered "We'll talk later." I replied with a nod and got lost in my thoughts until the bell rang. I wanted to gather all my stuff and run but I knew I couldn't.

"So what's going on are you okay?" she wondered concerned.

"Not really Jakes been hurt pretty bad." I stated in a detached voice.

"Is he okay?" she inquired anxiously. I just shook my head as we met Lance in the hall.

"Nessie it's good to see you again!" Lance exclaimed kissing Kenzie on the cheek.

"Yeah you too." I responded distantly. I could see him give Kenzie a puzzled expression in which she shook her head to.

"Look guys I'm gonna head to my next class." I said shoving my thumb in the general direction.

"I'll go with." I shrugged and gave a wave as she pecked Lance on the cheek and had a short whispered conversation with him. I was in no way interested in what they were saying even though it was probably about me. It was like I went on auto pilot for the remainder of the day, because my body was there but my mind definitely wasn't. At one point I could tell Kenzie gave up trying because I really wasn't communicating. As I finally reached home my heart stopped aching as to be expected. I hit the door open and stomped all the way upstairs to Jake. When I reached the room I flung by bag by the door and immediately went to give him a kiss on the forehead. He felt warmer and had more color since this morning which was a good sign.

"I'm sorry I had to go." I told him as I settled into my spot. It felt good to be back after being away for the day. I grabbed my laptop off the side table and opened it just as my dad appeared in the door way. I shot him a filthy look and went back to my computer.

"I know you're mad, but I want to talk to you." he said exasperated.

"Well I really don't want to talk to you. And this you can't force me into." I spat nastily. He rolled his eyes and propped himself on the arm rest of the couch like last night.

"Fine then you can listen. Today when you left, Jacob's heart beat became erratic and unstable like it was when he was first injured." He started.

"Yeah I know it always happens when we're apart, you should know that." I commented shrewdly.

"Yes I know but it was alarming how bad it got…so your grandfather thinks it would be best if we didn't do it every day for nearly eight hours in the fear of setting Jacob back." I stopped fiddling around on the computer and lowered the screen.

"What are you saying?" I investigated skeptically.

"That you don't have to go back to school until Jacob is better." He muttered.

"Really?" I asked relieved.

"On one condition." He replied back tracking.

"What?" I groaned placing my laptop back on the side table.

"You have to promise to get out of the house every few days with no fits, arguments, or tantrums." He answered.

"Deal." I replied without thinking. That was reasonable and it would be good for me to get out so I didn't get stir crazy, I just worry about what it's going to do to Jake when I did leave.

"His heartbeat is getting stronger with each passing day; I'm sure once it's more solid he'll be okay with you gone for a few hours." He replied answering my thoughts knowingly.

"I hope you're right because if something happened to him when I was gone…" I trailed off not going there yet again, it would be another thing that would drive me crazy if I let it.

"I understand. Well your grandmother has food for you downstairs if you're hungry." Dad replied leaving.

"Be right down." I called after him and shifted to look at Jake. "Okay Jake it's you and I fighting this battle for you to come back." I stated with a kiss and left the room. I stumbled down the stairs and sat down by self to eat. Without Jake I was getting very lonely, it's like nothing makes sense anymore. I was halfway through my meal when Aunt Alice bounced into the kitchen and leapt on the stool next to me.

"Hello my wonderful niece." She sang out.

"Hello my wonderful Aunt." I set my fork down next to my plate and gave her my full attention because I knew she wanted something.

"Well your dad informed me you have to get out of the house sometime this week as part of a deal." She started.

"Mhm…" I agreed trailing off.

"Well Rose and I are planning a shopping trip to the city to shop for Lila…would you care to join us?" she asked with that twinkle in her eye that she always gets when she gets to buy a whole new wardrobe. I chuckled at her and nodded.

"I'd be happy too." I grinned. I mean at least I could focus on helping as a way to take my mind off Jake. I don't know how well it will work but we're just gonna have to find out.

"Good we'll plan for four days, because the weather that day is going to be the worse of the week. No bright skies in sight. We'll keep it nice and early so we can have you home by midafternoon." She assured me. She slid to the floor and pranced away humming.

It was the morning of my big shopping trip with my aunts and the last few days had many significant improvements with Jake. His color had pretty much completely returned, his warmth had at least returned to that of a normal human and his heart beat was pounding strong again. But the best of all was that his rapid healing started to pick back up as the traces of venom in his blood got lower. It wasn't as fast as it once was but his broken leg that would have taken months to heal for a normal person was apparently almost healed, and thankfully most of his small cuts and bruises were gone revealing my Jacob.

"I wish you could come with us Lila." Aunt Alice said from the hall. I was just finishing up getting ready so we could go.

"I do too, but I'm not sure I fully trust myself in a mall full of humans." Lila commented darkly. She was dead set on being like grandpa and Aunt Rose when it came to drinking human blood, and she was sure not to test her limits. But everyone really had fallen in love with Lila and I can't blame them so did I. She was incredibly sweet and just something about her made you want to be around her. I had this odd feeling she'd be sticking around. I walked out of the bathroom to find both of my aunt propped neatly on the stairs and Lila standing against the wall.

"Are you ready?" Aunt Rose chimed.

"Yup, just have to say goodbye to Jake." I voiced making my way down the stairs.

"Well make it quick, we'll be in the car waiting." They called after me. I walked into the room straight up to Jake's bed, and stopped to look at him.

"I love you and I'll be back soon." I said bending down to kiss him on the cheek. Mmm nice and warm just the way I like it. I drew away, went to the door and shot one last look at him. God do I love him. I pulled the door shut behind me and made my way down stairs to start this day.

This time their choice car was Uncle Jaspers Acura and I could only guess that the car would be filled by the time we left Seattle…Boy was I right. I barley had any room to breathe let alone move, it's a good thing I'm not claustrophobic because I would have serious problems shopping with them. We were pulling neatly into the garage at three o'clock and I couldn't have been happier because it still was hard being away from Jake even with the distraction of my babbling aunts. It also didn't help that I had an ache starting at my chest reaching down in my toes distracting me from my distraction. When I walked into the house my first view was Dad was sitting on the back of the couch with an anxious look on. I dropped all of the bags I was holding as my body constricted and I froze.

"Wha, wha…what is it?" I stuttered out. Shit something happened with Jake. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, and I held my breath waiting for his answer.

"You're correct but it's not what you think…" he said trailing off. Some of tension released from my body and I exhaled loudly. "Maybe you should sit." He added getting up so he could sit facing the other couches. I nodded all of a sudden at a loss for words and stumbled to a couch.

"He's awake, he came too just after you left, and I think the pain from his heart jolted him awake." He started. My heart soared and I felt invincible for that short second. But it was like I came crashing into the ground on fire…Something has to be wrong for him coming at me this way.

"Well?" I probed quietly.

"I could start to get bits and pieces last night when you were playing the guitar… and as the night and day progressed his brain activity came back in full function…"

"Okay that all sounds good, where's the bad?" I asked anxiously.

"Something is wrong with his memory." He stated in a low voice. With his memory? Then it was like being hit by a semi-truck going a hundred miles an hour on the highway. _He doesn't remember me, does he? _I asked with my thoughts because frankly if I opened my mouth I'm pretty sure I would throw up.

"No. It's weird, he remembers everyone else and everything else…just uh not you." he replied awkwardly. Hearing him say what I already knew was like a big slap in the face. It hurt more than I anticipated.

"Do you know why?" I managed to choke out.

"Well your grandfather doesn't think it's because of the hit he received to the head. He thinks something else is playing a role here and personally I couldn't agree more. He simply can't remember you. Though he knows he built relationships with everyone here and he knows he cares for us like his family. He just doesn't know how he ended up building such bonds and ties with us because you played such a large role in everything in his life, especially our relationships. It's frustrating and hard to explain. You kind of just have to see the interworking's of his brain." He ended. I nodded and realized I was biting my lip so hard I was drawing blood.

"Can I see him?" I questioned quietly.

"I suppose I can't say anything to make you not too?" he asked hesitantly.

"Why would you want too?" I wondered near tears.

"Because I don't want to see you get hurt." He answered back simply. I shook my head and stood up.

"I'm going to have to see him sometime." I said with a big huff of breath and started my way to the stairs. When I reached the doorway I peered inside and even though he didn't remember me it still was amazing to see those beautiful brown eyes looking back at me. It was the look in them that hurt the most; it was if someone reached into my body and tore my heart out. He was propped up in the bed with random tubes still coming out of him but I was just glad to see him awake.

"Hi Jake." I said quietly, inching into the room towards him. His eyes stared at me and followed my every move with curiosity and awe.

"Hi, you must be Renesmee…" He said cautiously. It stung so bad to hear him say that.

"Yes that's me." I stated in a broken voice lingering near the door.

"Are you okay? You look kind of sick…" Oh you have no idea. It was taking all the strength in my body not to run and throw my arms around his neck.

"No, no I'm fine." I lied unconvincingly.

"You know, you look familiar…" he said squinting at me. My heart leapt could his memory be coming back?

"Like someone important?" I asked casually trying to jog his memory.

"Like I've seen those eyes." He stated tilting his head.

"Mhm, but what did they tell you about me?" I wondered inquisitively.

"Just that a special girl named Renesmee would probably be coming to see me…" he shrugged still staring at me. "Bella! You have Bella's eyes!" he exclaimed after a few seconds of silent. It was like being dropped off a fourty foot ledge. He didn't remember me he was seeing my mother. My eyes started brimming with tears and I knew I couldn't take it yet.

"I'm sorry I have to…I have to go." I said turning and running out of the room. I sprinted up stairs and into Jakes room where I dropped to the bed and started crying convulsively.

"I'm so sorry baby." My mom's voice said soothingly from the doorway.

"This is horrible!" I blubbered into one of his pillows.

"I know. But you can't give up on him you'll just have to try and help him remember you." she cooed quietly sitting on the edge of the bed. I nodded just as there was a slight knock on the door. "Come in." my mom answered.

"Uh Nessie, Jacob is asking for you." Uncle Jasper announced sending a wave of calm over me. I nodded and followed him to the office. "Can I help?" he inquired genuinely before I went in. I shook my head no and gave him a weak smile.

"Thank you though." I replied throwing my arms around his waist. He hugged me back and kissed my head.

"It will be okay. I know it." He said patting my back. I shrugged and reached for the knob. I sure hope he's right. I pushed the door open and there he was just like I left him looking at me with that look. Holy shit this is going to be one emotional roller-coaster. I stepped in and closed the door behind me.

* * *

**A/N: poor nessie has to go through so much...but i hope you liked it enough to review they make me happy and motivate me...Maybe i'll get the next chapter out by mid week in a thanks who do review :). Till next time. **


	18. Chapter 18

**I shall give credit where it's due: SM.**

**A/N: I apologize for the long wait...but here it is. I rethought a lot of where i was going to take it (which is why it took me so long), so i hope you like where the story is going...**

**JPOV**

I was jolted awake to an alarming pain in my chest and it was worse than anything I've ever felt before. Everything was hazy and I couldn't really piece together what the hell was going on. When I blinked my still heavy eyes and looked around, I realized that I was in a hospital bed? I tried lifting my arm to get up but my body was sore and weighted down with plaster, not to mention I had tubes running out of me in every direction. That sight definitely freaked me the fuck out and sent my mind racing. How did I get here? How long have I been out? What the hell happened? But I didn't think about it long, because I was derailed by the ridiculous amount of pain coming from the region of my heart. So I just laid there waiting for the pain to stop…or to kill me. My initial though was that I was having a heart attack; it literally felt like someone punched a hole in my chest, ripped my heart out, and left a serrated gaping abyss where my heart used to be. But the pain continued and just kept getting worse and worse, so I knew it couldn't be a heart attack. But I still didn't have a clue as to what the hell it was. Finally after a few minutes of suffering, Edward walked in the room and explained to me that the pain in my chest would eventually go away. And then went on to tell me that I'd been attacked by a vampire. His explanation to me of what had happened triggered something in my mind and the fight came swimming back in a blurry mess.

But that's what my whole memory seemed like...A chaotic mass of incoherent images. I knew that the Cullen's were my family in my heart and I had a random smattering of memories to confirm that but nothing really made sense, everything was just kind of disconnected and muddled. Doc came in not too long after and started running every test under the sun on me to make sure I was okay. Honestly I didn't really care as long as he got the pain in my chest to stop, it was nearly crippling. When I asked him about it, he told me there was nothing he could do to help and I would just have to wait it out. This confused me because he seemed like he knew what it was and if he did know what it was, why the hell wasn't he trying to fix it? Edward then went on to ask me if I knew anybody named Renesmee. The only thing I knew was that, that name was a mouthful. He told me she was a special girl and she would be coming to visit me. I couldn't help but to wonder why a random girl would come see me, but hey I'd take it.

After what seemed like decades my heart finally started feeling better just like they said it would, and I couldn't be more thankful. About ten minutes later the 'special' girl they told me about came around the corner. And they were absolutely positively right. She _was_ special…she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever laid my eyes on. We were having an awkward conversation, when I realized she had Bella's human eyes. I told her that and it hit a nerve or something because then the beautiful girl ran out of the room crying and I had no idea why she did… and I also had no idea why I cared so much. So I asked Jasper to go and get her because something was drawing me to her. Like a moth to a flame, like it was a necessity to be near her. She came into the room with bloodshot eyes and I couldn't help but want to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay. Who was she to evoke such feelings out of me?

"I'm really sorry if I did anything to hurt you." I said quietly not taking my eyes off of her. God how does she have Bella's eyes? Does Bella have a sister that she never told me about?

"It's nothing intentional." She replied in a shaky voice. There had to be more to this Renesmee then they told me…

"Can I ask you a question?" I inquired softly. She bit her lip as she thought about it, and then nodded slowly.

"Who are you really? I know that you're special, especially to me… I have this, this impulse to be near you but I can't figure out why." I stated with an edge of frustration. She stood quietly lingering near the door just looking at me. Her eyes were filled with so much pain and hurt that it made me sick because I knew that somehow I was the one causing that pain. Who the hell is this girl?

She finally spoke after a long moment of silence. "Uh I'm Renesmee." She stated back with a shrug.

"Honestly." I nearly begged. She swallowed hard and stood quietly staring at me. A knock ended our stare as she looked to the door. Damn it who the hell is it? I need to talk to her.

"It's me." Edward announced as he pushed the door open. "I need to See Renesmee for one quick moment then you can finish talking." I looked at him suspiciously and watched them as they left. What the hell is going on…I would pay big bucks to be able to remember something right now…anything. I pressed my head hard into the pillow and tried to wrack my brain for the answers to all of my questions. But I didn't get anything figured out before Renesmee walked back in with a blank face.

"Are you okay?" I asked anxiously.

"I'm fine." She spewed quickly. She walked cautiously over to my bed, stopped at the foot and looked deep into my eyes. It was like she was looking into the depths of my soul and the intensity that was in her gaze made me feel vulnerable.

"Let me know if you find anything in there…" I joked breaking the eye contact.

"What do you mean?" she asked puzzled.

"I'm pretty sure that stare just pierced all the way down to the deepest part of my soul." I chuckled lamely. A smile broke across her face and it was like the sun coming out on a rainy day; it lit up the entire room. Damn she was gorgeous. "So are you going to tell me?" she nodded, and came to sit by my bed side looking serious again.

"I'm an uh, distant relative of uh Bella's" she said stumbling over her words.

"Sure that was convincing." I stated sarcastically. She hung her head and stared at her hands that were playing with the hem of her sleeve.

"I'm also your best friend." She whispered in broken voice. Just then a tear splashed on her lap, and tore my heart out. Really? If she was my best friend, why couldn't I remember her? I sat there awkwardly at a loss for words as she continued to cry silently. With every tear that hit her lap the worse I felt; I had to do something. So I went off my first instinct by moving my robotic looking hand across to her and sliding our hands together. With the first touch of her soft skin against mine it instantly shot a pleasant shock coursing through my body. She looked up at me with tear filled eyes and gave me a weak smile.

"I'm, I'm uh sorry." I said softly staring into her stunning brown eyes.

"It's not your fault. Really. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine." She mumbled averting her gaze to our hands that she was now caressing carefully avoiding the tubes coming out of me. I looked at them too and could feel how they fit together perfectly, like they were especially made for each other; mine to hold hers and hers to hold mine.

"What do you mean your fault?" I wondered curiously rubbing her hand with my thumb. She bit her lip and took a minute before she answered but she looked up at me; tears brimming again.

"We had a blowout that resulted in you leaving with your head all screwed up. Since your head was messed up the vampire caught you off guard and attacked you." She choked out.

"What was the fight about?" I questioned trying better to understand, I had to try and make sense of something.

"Um…" she trailed off with her eyes darting around the room rapidly.

"Truthfully, please. I'm trying to put my memory back together the best I can. You don't understand how frustrating it is to have just a bunch of random memories but nothing linking them together." I spewed out imploringly. Just as I said it, it was like the last piece of the puzzle was put into place. It was her; she was the thing that was missing. She was what intertwined everything. I couldn't figure out where she fit in, but she was the only thing I couldn't remember. "How much time did we spend together?" I rambled quickly before she could answer. Her eye shot back to mine with confusion and she responded slowly not averting her gaze.

"All the time…the only time we were apart was for school."

"I knew it!" I yelped making her jump in her seat.

"Knew what?" she questioned a tone of hope edging in her voice.

"It's you that's making my memories so messed up. You're the enormous missing piece that links everything together." I said saying my thoughts out loud. Right on cue Edward walked into the room looking worried and sat down next to Renesmee on the couch.

"Jacob, Renesmee wasn't being completely honest." He started. I looked between the two of them and I immediately spotted something off.

"She looks like you, with Bella's…" whoa what just happened here? He sighed and nodded his head.

"You are correct; she is Bella and I's biological child." He stated confirming my suspicions.

"What the hell? How the hell?" I rambled out trying to make sense of yet another thing

"You're also right about her jamming your memories up…we still haven't put it together; why it's only her you can't remember. Last night when your brain function came back you were thinking about your childhood and now I've caught completely all the way up until you found out Bella and I were back from our honeymoon and random thoughts from the past years when Renesmee wasn't around…" She was pregnant with Renesmee when she got back from her honeymoon? I looked to Renesmee playing with her sleeve again.

"How old are you?" I asked acknowledging her verbally for the first time since Edward came in. She looked to Edward asking in her head I'm sure what to say. He gave her a nod and she eventually answered me quietly.

"Six." No fucking way. She has to at least be eighteen or nineteen… Bella came in looking apprehensive and we then spent hours explaining about the past years that were mysteriously wiped from my memory. By the end of the talk my head was fucking reeling; the pregnancy, the splitting of my pack, the Voultori, the moving and most of all Renesmee as my best friend. I thought the talk would have helped but after we got done I felt so lost. I had to keep telling myself that I would have to accept that this was going to be tough.

It was just Renesmee and I sitting in a tense silence. I in my bed with her in the same spot right next to it; where apparently she had spent that past few days waiting and hoping I would come too.

"So what's going on in that head of yours?" she questioned finally breaking through some of the discomfort that lingered in the room. I cleared my throat and looked over to her; she was looking back at me with those beautiful brown eyes that made my heart race. She grinned at me when she could hear the monitor speed up.

"Well I'm not quite sure what to think." I replied honestly. She nodded and shifted anxiously on the couch. "Listen I know this is in no way easy for you to be around me when I have no recollection of you…" I started.

"What are you trying to say?" She questioned taken aback.

"That you don't have to hang around if it gets too hard." I answered back rubbing my forehead with my hand. I instantly grew anxious because I didn't want her to go. I wanted her to stay with me, to help me remember her.

"Look Jake I'm not going anywhere despite what you say." She stated firmly and added in a mumble I'm sure I wasn't meant to hear 'I've made that mistake once before. Never again' I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and relaxed.

"I wasn't saying I want you to go…but this has got to be rough." I commented staring at her. She bit her lip for a second before inhaling deeply and answering.

"It is. But that is all the more reason to try and make you remember me." She whispered with a weak grin. I nodded and I couldn't agree more.

A few days had passed since I regained consciousness and my condition had progressed rapidly. I wasn't in complete health yet, but I was getting there. My damn femur bone was taking the longest and it was by far the most pained part on my body. Carlisle said it could take another week or so to heal even with my swift healing, because it was such a large bone. But the worse thing about all of this was that things with Renesmee were still the same. There was absolutely no progress at all. Only building the new relationship we were forced to have. Every morning when we would wake up she would look at me with the same hopeful smile on and see something. I have no idea what she was seeing…but whatever it was would send devastation and tears shining in her eyes. Immediately she would wipe the tears and emotions away and we would start with an awkward conversation. Knowing that it was me causing her this pain was killing me.

"Morning." I whispered quietly as she tried to conspicuously wipe her tears away on the sleeve of one of my old shirts I had apparently given her.

"Hi!" she replied too enthusiastically…just like every other morning she tried to hide how much I was hurting her.

"How did you sleep?" I questioned trying to take her mind off me, which I knew wasn't going to be an easy feat...because no matter how hard I tried she was always, always on my mind.

"Good, good." she stood up and stretched and headed for the door. "I'm gonna take a quick shower, but I'll be back." Today must be one of the harder days; she only leaves quickly if she can't hold it together... As soon as the shower water would start I could hear her sobs and it made me want to vomit.

"Okay." I replied getting queasy. Just as she opened the door Carlisle was walking around the corner for my morning check in. Basically it was just where he took all of my vitals and made sure everything was okay.

"Good morning Jacob." He greeted with his usual smile and nod.

"Morning Doc."

"And how are you feeling this fine day?" he asked writing some stuff on a clipboard. I moved my limbs and cringed a little when I tried to move my leg.

"A little stiff, but better than yesterday." I replied stretching as much as I could.

"That's good, I want to try out crutches today if you're up to it... you'd have a little more mobility. I know being stuck in this room must be driving you crazy." He commented setting the board down coming to examine me more closely.

"Yeah that would be nice, then Renesmee could get out too…"I sighed.

"Something the matter?" he asked as he undid a few tubes from my arm.

"No just cabin fever." I lied. It was everything…it was being stuck in the same room all day every day; it was having absolutely no independence… I felt like I was in prison, and I was suffocating. It was also having random smattering of images I call memories splashing their way through my mind with no connection to each other at all and worst of all it was the pain I was causing Renesmee every day.

"Jacob?" Carlisle said detaching me from the final tube. I pulled myself out of my fit of frustration in my head and came back to reality. "Did you hear me? I said we are now going to gently slide your legs over the bed and place your feet firmly on the ground." I nodded and did as he said. The feeling of the ground beneath my feet felt mystifying and shot a bone chilling cold through my body causing me to shutter.

"Are you okay? Is that too much weight on your leg?" Carlisle rambled quickly in response to my shiver.

"No, no I'm fine just cold." He nodded and slid the stupid crutches under my arms; an all too familiar feeling. When I was balanced he stepped back to let me awkwardly slide my body forward. A wide smile stretched across his face as I continued to move at the pace of a baby turtle.

"Well it seems we are successful. Would you like help maneuvering downstairs? I suppose you can now have breakfast at the table." I shook my head in response.

"I might as well do this on my own." I replied with a grunt as I swung my body forward. He gave a curt nod and left out of the room in front of me. I sighed and grunted my way down stairs and finally made it to the kitchen in what felt like four years. I tossed my crutches on the counter, plopped myself into the stool sitting awkwardly with my leg sticking out and dropped my head onto the counter with a sickening thump.

"Good morning Jacob." Esme's sweet voice said in front of me.

"Good morning Esme." I grumbled. She gave a soft chuckle and slipped a plate under my face so that I was staring at the most appealing looking plate of steak and eggs I've ever seen. I gave a snicker and pulled up dramatically slow. She set the plate down in front of me, walked around the island and leaned against the sink.

"Are you okay dear?" she questioned sympathetically. I sighed and started gnawing on the inside of my cheek.

"Just frustrated." I mumbled after I could taste my blood flood my mouth. Just then I could smell the sweet aroma of Renesmee mixed with some tropical soap and strawberries and cream shampoo. When she walked around the corner a wide smile stretched across her beautiful face…The biggest and most genuine smile I've seen from her yet.

"You're free from your prison!" she exclaimed with a giggle skipping to the stool next to me.

"I couldn't have said it better myself." I replied with a chuckle. It was scary how she could basically read my mind. But then again I guess she is Edward's child.

"Thanks Grandma!" she said tossing her wet hair over her back and shoveling a huge bite of egg into her mouth.

"You're very welcome sweetie." She replied with a kiss on the forehead and then she was gone, leaving Renesmee and I alone. We both ate without saying anything, but I couldn't help but to look at her every few seconds out of the corner of my eye. She was so cute, and every move she made was too. That was yet another scary thing; How I though every single thing about her was cute. From the way she scrunches her nose when she's trying to concentrate, to the way she bites her lip when she's in deep thought. Damn I felt like a man in love... I choked on my steak as I came to that conclusion.

"Are you okay?" she asked concerned turning her attention from her plate to me.

"Yeah…I'm…fine." I managed to choke out between gasps.

"Here drink this." She stated holding her water out to me. I nodded and chugged the whole glass in less than fifteen seconds.

"Thanks." I commented with a sheepish grin wiping my mouth with the back of my arm. She gave a loud laugh and went back to her food. For the first time since I came too, the conversation felt light and not forced; like we _were_ best friends and I could see why we were, our relationship for that moment was like Bella and I's when Edward left…natural and easy like breathing. I noticed a worn down bracelet that looked about two sizes too small around her wrist that intrigued me.

"What's that?" I inquired pointing at it. She looked down and I could see her whole body tense and the whole dynamic went back to what it was. I kicked myself internally as I could smell her tears beginning to well up. She tried to wipe the tears away to where I couldn't tell…but she must be forgetting I'm a wolf because I can smell her tears every time she tries to hide them.

"Uh you gave this to me my first Christmas." She answered straining to keep her voice steady. Shit of course I did. Damn it and things were going so well.

"I'm sorry." I whispered keeping my eyes off of her. Guaranteed if I looked it would break my heart like it did every other time I seen her cry.

"It's okay, for a second there I forgot that you have no idea who I am." She answered back letting more emotion in her voice then she intended. Thankfully Edward saved me from having to reply by coming into the kitchen. He walked over to the sink and propped himself there.

"Good morning you two, I would just like to inform you the family and I are going hunting... Bella, Lila and I will remain close and shouldn't be gone long, while the rest of them should be home no later than dusk." He stated.

"Why are they going so far, and why are you all going?" Renesmee wondered asking the same question I was thinking.

"They're going further to get bigger animals, and since Jacob was injured none of the family has strayed too far from home… just in case" he replied with a glance in my direction. Was I really _that_bad?

"I see." She answered shortly. They continued to have a conversation I wasn't paying any attention to, because I was too busy freaking out inside at the prospects of being truly alone with her. I mean I've been alone with her before, but never fully alone. I knew Edward was listening to my every thought, so I tried as hard as i could to focus on my breakfast, and I apparently did a good job because a light nudge on my arm, is what it took to pull me out of yet another stupor.

"What do you want to do while everyone's gone?" Renesmee asked with a confused smile. I looked at my leg encased in plaster and shrugged.

"There really aren't many things we can do." I commented with a sigh.

"How about a movie?" she questioned sweetly.

"Okay I'm sure we can agree on something…" I replied grabbing my stupid crutches, but when I turned back to her I knew something was wrong. Meaning I said something to hurt her feelings yet again. "Did I say something wrong?" I inquired trying to back track and save the moment we were just having.

"Oh, no it's nothing…" she said trailing off and walking towards the living room.

"I can tell when you're lying." I responded with a sigh scooting along behind her. Then I could smell the tears. Fuck I couldn't do a damn thing right. I made a mental note to just keep to small talk so that I could avoid all of the tears and the hurt.

"Nothing just memories." She responded shortly. The remaining walk to the living room was quiet; because I was too scared I would shove my foot in my mouth again. I dropped down onto the couch and stretched my long limbs across it as she went to get some movies. I sat back trying to remember her and our past when a loud crash scared the shit out of me. As a natural reaction I tried to jump up to see if she was okay, but a sharp pain in my thigh reminded me I was limited in my mobility.

"Renesmee are you okay?" I wailed from the couch massaging my now aching leg. It was quiet for a second making my heart nearly come up and out of my throat. I heard a giggle and let out a loud breath.

"I'm fine!" she laughed "I'm just like my mother used to be…a klutz!" she added rounding the corner with an armful of movies. She tossed them on the couch and gave a weak smile.

"These were some of our favorites." I nodded and sifted through the pile and decided on _interaction. _I must have been using more energy than I thought because; before I knew it, I was asleep. When I blinked my eyes open a while later the credits were playing and Renesmee was nowhere in sight. I struggled to get up and shuffled around the house until I could hear her sniffling coming from a room upstairs. When I finally hobbled into her room I spotted her immediately and wanted to break down. She was sitting on the floor with her back against the bed while tears littered the photo album she was looking at. I cleared my throat because she obviously didn't know I was here or she would have tried to hide the fact that she was crying.

"Oh! Jake you, uh scared me!" she exclaimed with a startled jump, closing the album and looking away from me as she wiped her tears like I knew she would.

"I'm sorry, it's just I woke up and you weren't there...What are you doing?" I asked as I slid down on the floor next to her. She was looking down rubbing the cover of the album.

"Nothing, just remembering." She whispered. I slipped my hand gently under hers and slid the album from her into my lap. Taking a deep breath I opened the neat book. With the first picture it tied a knot in my stomach the size of a tangerine. It was me and a little girl whom I'm assuming was Renesmee. She was sitting on my shoulder and I was looking at her like she was the most amazing thing in the world. She was staring back at me with… I couldn't explain it any other way but…Love. As I continued to flip through the book the knot in my stomach grew to the size of a watermelon and I caught myself holding back my own tears. This was a lot worse than I could even wrap my brain around…I could see how much each of us meant to each other, and I understood why she was an emotional wreck. She was my best friend just as much as I was hers and it showed with every picture. But with every page turned I felt like I was looking in on a strangers life and it made me feel horrible I was doing this to her. And I honestly didn't know what to do. As I came to the end, the last picture in the book was when she looked about five and we were both asleep in her bed with her head on my chest and a book on my stomach, what I wouldn't give to go back there. I slowly turned to her and looked into her tear filled eyes.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"It's not your fault, but do you see what we had?" I nodded because it was all I could do; I was at a loss for words. "Do you want to see a more recent album?" she asked pulling another from under the bed. I stopped her from opening it and shook my head.

"I need a few minutes, that was really hard to do."

"You know you're right. I could go from some fresh air." She said trying to awkwardly help me up. "I'm going to go for a walk to clear my head a bit." I nodded and she was gone. I watched her through the window enter the woods and disappear. I began to wander slowly around the house and soon found myself sitting by the pool thinking about nothing else but Renesmee. I thought about her eyes and how the sparkle even in the dark. I thought about her smile and how it could make my day, and light up a whole room. I thought about her beautiful laugh and how no matter how horrible I felt it would always make me feel better when it sang out to me. And I thought about how much she loves me. The pain that jolted me awake days ago was back, and it felt like everything was caving in on me. I dropped back on the chair with my eyes closed and waited for the pain to pass. Minutes slipped by and a cold water drop hit me on the face, distracting me for a quick second from the pain and my thoughts. I was forced to open my eyes and look up at the angry sky that was about to share its wrath. Sitting up I noticed that the little light that was once tossed around was gone and was replaced by a pitch black sky that was threatening to drench everything within its path…Including Renesmee. I had to find her and make sure she was okay. So I struggled to my feet and began to hobble out towards the woods were I seen her go just minutes ago. As I reached the tree line something in the distance sounded out eerily and immediately I knew something wasn't right; I could feel it in my gut. I dropped my crutches and began to limp painfully towards where she went hoping with every bit of me that my feelings where wrong. The ebbing pain in my chest was starting to loosen up, but it was confusing me because as the pain in my chest region diminished the bigger the knot in my stomach got. Soon enough I broke through a clearing and it was like the world stopped. I nearly vomited as my worst nightmare became a reality. Renesmee was lying on the ground with her beautiful curls flowing around her as if she were sleeping, and there above her was a vampire I've seen before, staring at me with piercing red eyes. The only thing that gave me comfort was that I could hear her faint heartbeat. I began to quake with fear. Not because I was afraid for me, but because I was afraid of something even worse happening to Renesmee. At that point I didn't care about anything but getting to her. I zoned in on her and started sprinting as fast as I could on my injured leg, but for some reason the closer I got the more hopeless I felt. I was about twenty feet from her when something blindsided me. I was thrown into a tree smashing my skull against the trunk and I felt my ribs crack upon impact. For a quick second everything went hazy. I had to force myself with all my might to stay in the moment so that I could save her. I blinked my eyes a few times to clear my head and when I could see straight again another vampire was standing on my arms above me with a malicious grin plastered on its pale face. Before I could defend myself it moved swiftly to my leg and stepped on my already broken femur bone. I let out a yelp of pain as I felt it shatter beneath its foot.

"Hello pup." Its creepy voice tinkled out into the silence. I diverted my mind from the pain and back to why I was here…who I was trying to save. The vampire glided up to my head and pinned my arms beneath its feet and I was nearly helpless as my whole body began to ache.

"What the fuck do you want?" I wailed frantically trying locate Renesmee. The vampire bent down and grabbed my jaw forcing me to look at it in the face.

"You are to suffer mutt." The vampire spat as its grip continued to get tighter on my jaw.

"but, vhy? Vhat id I oo to vou?" I questioned through clenched cheeks.

"It is just my mission and I was told to make you suffer." It said calmly. It shifted my head to the right revealing Renesmee now tied up on the ground. Her eyes began to flutter as she began to gain consciousness.

"Who? Who sent you?" I yelled still staring at Renesmee. Her eyes finally opened and she looked at me with fear and tears in her eyes.

"That's not important. What's important is that we finish the job we started." It commented. "And things couldn't have gone any better. I never thought they would leave her with an injured puppy dog." It said letting my jaw go and standing erect.

"Please let her go and kill me! You can do it any way you want. Just please, please let her go" I begged in a desperate whisper. Renesmee tried to object but the other vampire who attacked me in the beginning grabbed her neck, making me squirm.

"But where would the fun be in that?" it asked with an evil laugh. "Samson here erased her from your memory, now I will erase her from your life period…"

"You did this?" I asked unsurprised, but I was really trying to buy time to think about how to convince them to let her go.

"Well of course we did, we were not anticipating not finishing the job the first time. But when that other mongrel came out of nowhere it took us by surprise. So I told Samson to play a little game and erase the most important thing in your life to you…just until we could finish you off."

"I still don't understand why." I said not taking my eyes off of her.

"Tomas, let's just end this now." The other one called Samson snapped.

"I agree brother, the question is how shall we do this…Kill just her and make him live without her. Or kill her then him."

"They said make him suffer until the end. We must kill him." Samson answered.

"You're right." He said looking at Renesmee. I wanted to rip his eyes out of his head for even glancing her way. "Kill her." He ordered simply.

"Noooo!" I screamed as Samson nodded and lifted his hand in the air to strike. Everything then began to move in slow motion. I looked at Renesmee as tears began to stream down beautiful face, she gave me a small smile like 'it's okay Jake' and that did it. Something inside snapped I began to shake and next thing I knew was I was a wolf. The explosion took Tomas off guard giving me enough power to fling him off me into a tree. After that I was charging towards Samson, who had stopped mid swing to see what was happening. I got a hold of his cold arm and severed it from his body and Renesmee dropped to the ground as Samson wailed. Tomas was back up and sprinting towards me and I knew how I had to execute this if I wanted to stay in this fight with so many injuries already. I went straight for the neck and in one swift movement Tomas' head was rolling across the dirt. Samson let out an enraged growl and was diving at me; thankfully leaving Renesmee alone who was struggling to get free. I pulled myself back into the fight just as Samson's only arm gave me a blow to the jaw with a sickening crack. It was just him and I rounding each other, not saying anything. The pain in my leg and jaw was excruciating and I lost my footing as he lunged. Before he could hit me I threw myself at him getting my mouth around his other arm tearing. Just then Edward Bella and Lila sprinted into the clearing. Edward and Lila took care of Samson and Bella ran to a trembling Renesmee. As soon as I knew she was okay, I collapsed from all the pain consuming my body. My eyes slid shut as I heard her scream my name.

"Jake!" I heard Renesmee scream again. I cracked my eyes open as I seen her skid to my side. "Jake, are you okay!" she inquired lifting my large wolf head. I gave her hand a nudge, and put my head in her lap. I could smell the sickening smell of Samson and Tomas burning and then I slipped under

**I will try my hardest to get another update sooner than this one, again i'm sorry :s. Thank you so much for the reviews :)! But Cliff hanger?**

***just a note Jake's dream from the past chapter is in this chapter, did you catch it?**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sm she did the damn thing...**

**A/N: okay i'm soooo sorry about the late chapter. I'm still writing it though. If your still hanging in there. Thanks! i hope you like it enjoy!  
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**RPOV**

"Renesmee, please will you stop fidgeting so I can tell how badly you're hurt." My mom requested for what seemed like the hundredth time. I cringed as she cleaned the gash on my head. Honestly, how was I supposed to sit still while Jake was in the next room fighting for his life, yet AGAIN. I couldn't catch a break and it was all starting to really wear on me.

"Please just let me see how he's doing." I begged attempting to get off the bed. As soon as I stood up it felt like the whole world shifted and slid from beneath my feet. I was caught in my Aunt Roses arms as soon as I began to fall. "I'm fine, I'm fine." I said as she laid me carefully back on her bed.

"No you need to get rest. I'm going to get Carlisle to see if he can assess your head injury. You stay put." My mom growled assertively. She gave my Aunt Rose, Aunt Alice, and Lila a menacing look before slipping out of the room. A few seconds later Grandpa was gliding in the room with mom on his heels.

"How's Jake?" I blurted out impatiently not caring about myself at all.

"I'm not sure yet. He's being attended to as we speak." Grandpa replied carefully taking my head between his icy hands. He asked me a few questions, shined lights in my eyes and came up with the conclusion that I had a concussion and told me to rest.

"I'm not resting until I know that Jakes going to be okay." I yelped near hysterics.

"Alright you don't need any strain, so sit tight and I'll finish my tests I'm running, and as soon as I know anything I'll send someone to tell you." I nodded knowing this would have to do. I followed him out into the hall where he turned on me with a sympathetic expression.

"Um Renesmee darling, I think it would probably be best for you not to see him until we know his state." Grandpa commented gently. I sighed and slid down onto the floor next to Jake's 'hospital room' as grandpa slipped into the room and closed the door softly behind him. I shoved my head between my knees so I could try to block everything out…Their voices, reality and most of all my memories. The haunting images of Jake and the vampire danced in the front of my mind and sent a chill creeping up my spine.

"How's does he seem to be doing?" Grandpa questioned a little apprehensively after a few seconds of silence.

"Not good." I heard dad strain out. It was quiet for a few minutes except for the erratic beeping of the heart monitor, and the rustling of paper. Soon enough grandpa broke the muted silence.

"You're right Edward, This doesn't look good… his previous injuries we're not healed as it was, and to add another devastating blow like this…" I heard grandpa trail off with a hopeless tone that made me sick to my stomach.

"We can't just give up." My Grandma replied heavily.

"I'm not, but I feel it's going to take nothing short of a miracle to pull him through this one." Grandpa answered back defeated. I couldn't take any more desolation so I got myself together as much as I could and slowly eased into the room.

"You've got to be able to something." I pleaded. I could tell by the pained look on all of their faces, that there was nothing that could be done.

"Baby I'm so sorry." Grandma said putting her arms around me and placing me in her hard cold chest…the total opposite of what I wanted right now. I wanted the warmth of Jacobs arms to envelope me and to comfort me. The sobs began to crawl up from the depths of my soul and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

"What's…Wrong…with…him?" I managed to choke out between perpetual hysterics.

"Well it seems he's slipped back into a coma." Grandpa replied quietly. My heart stuttered at the word coma. Last time there was no communication with him I felt lost and displaced. I got a handle on myself before I answered again.

"He came out of it before though right?" I questioned preparing myself for the but that was sure to come.

"Yes, but that's just it sweetheart. He wasn't completely healed when he received this trauma, and it might be more devastating than before, he could be this way for months, years even." He answered softly. And there it was, his answer; the but that hit me full on. I could feel myself become void of all feeling; emotionally and physically.

The next thing I know I was waking up in the night with a start. A nightmare I was just having about the attack replying in the forefront of my mind. I rolled over trying to shake the uneasy feeling and my let my eyes adjust to the darkness. I was in a place I hadn't woken up to in a while…my bedroom. How did I get here and what time was it? I stumbled quickly out of bed and down the stairs back to my reason for my existence. It didn't get an easier to see him in this state; but there he was back to being attached to all of the eerie machines that kept him alive before. He didn't look nearly as bad as the last time he slipped away, but apparently he was worse off this time. And that scared me more than anything; to know that he might not come back to me this go round. I couldn't even stand the thought of it. I lingered at the door staring at him until I could get the nerve to go to in.

"Oh Jake, why didn't you just let the damn vampires kill me?" I whispered under my breath. I finally got the courage up to face what was so utterly deceiving; him looking so normal even though he was fighting for his life even harder than before. I shuffled to his bed side and sat down softly.

"Do you remember the conversation we had when we went to the ballet?" I asked him even though I knew no reply would be given. "Well it still rings true, if you don't make it through this Jacob Black neither will I." I stated firmly. I carefully moved his mechanical looking arm out of the way and cuddled into his chest; my favorite place in the entire world. I laid there in his arms and kept staring up at his face until I drifted back to sleep. I woke up hours later with the sound of a steady pounding in my ear. I opened my eyes and looked at Jakes beautiful face. His eyes were still closed but I could sense that something was different. I laid there for a few moments until I got that eerie feeling you get when you know someone is watching you. So I lifted my head and looked out towards the hallway.

"Good afternoon." My dad whispered from the door. I gave him a worried look, in which he gave a small head jerk telling me to come here. I pecked Jake softly on the cheek, crawled carefully out of his arms and followed my dad into the hall.

"What's going on?" I threw at him immediately

"He woke up." He answered back simply.

"Wh, what?" I stuttered, truly shocked. "But I thought you said it could be years until he came too?"

"Trust me; we're all as stunned as you are. Honestly we didn't think he would ever come out of it…we ran test after test on him and by the last test, things seemed very bleak. It's just like your grandfather said; it would take nothing less than a miracle. And once again I think that it was you." He commented.

"Me?" I inquired confused and curious.

"Last night, after you fell asleep in his arms it was like a cold bucket of water was thrown on him, he was jolted awake… and a line you said kept replying over and over in his head."

"What line?" I asked inquisitively.

"'If you don't make it through this Jacob Black neither will I.'" he said narrowing his eyes at me. "I would just like to set the record straight and inform you that I wasn't going to let you do anything to harm yourself Renesmee." I rolled my eyes and folded my arms defensively. I hope he really didn't think I was going to live without Jake because he would be severely misled. He sighed in answer to my thoughts and shook his head.

"Well why didn't he wake me up?" I questioned.

"Because he wanted to let you sleep. His memory is still intact from the past few days so he knows that you've been an emotional wreck. He also knows that you mean the world to each other. He thought about the album and the fight…the fight nearly made him wretch. So he rubbed your arm kept looking at you and tried as hard as he ever has to remember something about his past with you." I felt ecstatic that he came back to me and I would do anything to keep him; even if it meant starting completely over and work off this rollercoaster of a relationship we have now.

"Can I tell him I'm his imprint?" I asked him as the thought occurred to me.

"I uh, I don't think that will be a good idea." He replied gently shaking his head with a sympathetic look on his face.

"Why not, it could help bring his memory back." I added a hint of frustration edging into my tone.

"Because Renesmee, you have to understand that Jacob already feels absolutely terrible that he cannot remember you, I would imagine that if we tell him you're his imprint, the one person who he's supposed to love more than anyone or anything in this world, it's just going to make him feel even worse." I nodded in agreement. He was right it had to be just as hard for Jacob. "It's harder than you think, he can feel the effects of the imprint…He can't quiet place the feelings but he knows that there's something different about you than any other person. He's making the excuse that you were his best friend and therefore spent a plethora of time together."

"So what should I do?" I asked looking for some sort of guidance.

"Do what you're doing…just don't force too much on him at once. Also he knows you love him, but not in the way you do. Do with that as you will, but for his sake; take it slow." He ended. "He's waking up." He added pointing to the room. I nodded, turned to the door, took a deep breath and knocked lightly.

"Come in." Jake called out feebly. I let out the breath I was holding and entered the room. He was sitting erect in the bed with a concerned look on his face.

"How do you feel?" I asked walking to the foot of his bed.

"Never mind me, how are you? Are okay?" He rambled out quickly in one breath.

"I'm fine. A little banged up but I'm a lot better now that you're okay. How are you feeling?" I questioned with a smile. He dropped his eyes as he played with one of the many tubes coming out of his arm.

"I'm really, really sorry. I feel horrible. Can I ever make it up to you?" He asked with a shameful voice avoiding my question yet again. Wait what? I was completely taken aback, He saved my life didn't he know that? I walked around the bed, carefully sat on the foot and lightly I took one of his machinelike hands into mine and waited for him to look into my eyes.

"Jacob Black you saved my life. There is nothing you have to be sorry about. I will be forever in your debt for what you've done for me." I whispered intensely.

"But I didn't protect you." he replied pulling his hand back a little but not pulling it away all together.

"It wasn't your fault." I shot back defending Jake to himself.

"Of course it was! I knew that there was a rouge vampire out there, and I just let you wander into the woods alone…I don't know what I was thinking." He snapped back anger and frustration radiating off of him in waves.

"I could tell you were a little shaken up from the album, your mind was preoccupied and so was mine. I knew they were out there just as much as you did. I shouldn't have been out there alone. But Jake I want you to know this; neither one of us could have anticipated those turn of events." I replied back soothingly. "And in any case Jacob, I'm fine!"

"No you're not! What's that?" he questioned pulling his hand away and motioning to the bandaged injury on my head.

"It's nothing; just a small cut. I could have gotten it any other ordinary day. You know me and my clumsiness." I replied playing it aloof and trying to subtly cover the wound with some stray hair.

"And those?" he inquired pointing to my neck and wrist where there were bruises in their last stage of healing.

"Look I said I'm fine, and I am. These are all minor injuries; it could have been a lot worse."

"You got all of them because I didn't protect you Renesmee don't you understand that?" He dropped his head again and went into full on self-loathing mode.

"If it weren't for you I'd probably be dead." I said frustration about to get the best of me. He slowly laid back onto his pillow.

"Yeah but you heard what they said…it was me they were after and they hurt you to hurt me." He said in a robotic voice looking at the ceiling.

"Well they're gone now." I replied as soothingly as I could. But there was a knock on the door that brought us out of our little disagreement.

"Come in." Jake said still not taking his eyes off of the celling. My dad, mom and grandparents came into the room.

"We couldn't help but hear your conversation and we would like to talk to you about the vampires." Dad said leading the four of them into the room. Of course they couldn't help but hear…there is absolutely no privacy in this god-forsaken house. I sighed and took my mind off the spat I just had with Jake and into the current conversation. Jake sat up interested to know the theories on why they were targeting him.

We all knew by the exchange that occurred during the fight that Tomas and Samson were not acting on their own intentions, but some woman vampire was coaxing them into it. Mom suggested the voltouri and it was a very good suggestion; everything would fit into place. But dad said that he had never seen any of the three vampires with their coven. And something in my gut was telling me it wasn't them either. The conversation was over and there was an agreement put into place to where the house would never be unprotected until this was solved…which just made Jake feel worse that he couldn't protect me alone. We all tried to explain that he saved my life, that it wasn't his fault in the least and that he did as much as he could. But of course he couldn't be reasoned with. He was like fucking fort Knox; impenetrable. By the end of the conversation Jake looked worn out from all the arguing he did so I let him sleep. I closed the door quietly behind me and began to shuffle through the house like a lost soul in search of something or someone to latch onto. I began wandering in and out of rooms searching for something to occupy my mind other than Jake. I finally stumbled into the backyard where I spotted Lila who was tending to a small garden in the front of her small guest house they built her.

"Good afternoon Nessie." She sang out sweetly setting her small shovel on the ground and wiping her hands on her pants.

"Hi Lila."I replied sheepishly. With everything going on as of lately I felt like I hadn't talked to her, or anybody for that fact in ages. "This is a beautiful garden." I commented genuinely.

"Why thank you. I used to garden before I turned into a vampire. It was one of the only constant things in my life. Weather I was volunteering to plant trees or tending to my own at my foster home, it helped me calm down and clear my mind from all the chaos going on in my life." I knew what she meant, ballet was my number one escape…maybe I would start really dancing again…I needed something to occupy my mind other than all the pain I was going through.

"Enough about me, How are you doing?" she gave me a smile, gestured to a small bench for me to sit on and went back to her work.

I sat on the cement bench and began to fiddle with my sleeve "I've been better." I answered honestly.

"I'm sure." She commented sympathetically. "This can't be easy…but I know you two will be alright. I just know it."

"Yeah, I'm just worried things will never be the way they used to be." I heaved a heavy sigh and began shifting some of the rocks in the soil with my ugg slipper.

"Meaning, how you two were so in love?" She questi

oned looking up from a flower she was placing in the ground. I flinch at the 'were' part and dropped my head into my hands.

"Hell at this point I'd just take the best friend relationship we had, I guess before the whole imprinting thing began to change." I mumbled from my hands feeling a sense of hopelessness. What if Jake and I stayed at this awkward stage we had now? I shuttered at the thought because that would simply be unacceptable. Even if I had to start completely over like I was being forced to be, I vow that I will get at least a semi-normal relationship back…and maybe it would even lead into love. It felt like a twenty pound weight was lifted from my chest as I realized my new mission… Make Jacob Black fall in love with me. Maybe not imprint worthy love, but still a beautiful love. I looked back a Lila who was staring at me with her eyebrows raised and a grin on her beautiful face.

"You want him to fall in love with you all over." she stated knowingly.

"Well yeah. I love him and I'm obviously meant to be with him. So I'm just going to have to convince him that he loves me too, and that we're meant to be together."

"How do you plan to do that?" She questioned with genuine interest. I shrugged because I honestly had no idea…first I was going to have to get us to a better place than where we were at now. And that meant that I was really going to have to get my emotions into check, because there is no way we are going to get there with Jake feeling guilty all the time.

"You're on a mission aren't you?" Lila asked amused.

"I am. I finally feel like I have something to look forward too." It was like the one glimmer of light in the dark world of shadows I was living in.

"I'll help you in any way that I can." Lila remarked not looking up from the delicate flower she was planting.

"Thanks, that means a lot. I feel like all the attentions always on me…How are you adjusting Lila?" I asked feeling a volcano of guilt rising from my stomach. She was just thrust into this new life and here I am all about me.

"Oh your fine I know this is a rough time for everyone, I'm just trying to help any way that I can. As for my adjustment it's… still a work in progress. I'm just trying to get a grip on this whole thirst thing. I'm a little worried about how I'm going to react to pure human blood. I'd be devastated if I did anything to harm an innocent person. As afraid as I am, I'm going to have to face it soon because I don't want this to hinder my life, I still have goals I want to achieve."

"Like what?" I inquired.

"Like getting into school."

"Yeah, Seth said you wanted to go to George Mason University for psychology, is that still what you want?" I questioned.

"Well yes and no…" she replied quietly trailing off. I gave her an inquisitive look that asked her to elaborate. "After bouncing around from home to home when I was a child, I finally feel like I belong to a family. And I'm not very fond of giving this up so quickly…I love it here." She answered shyly. I felt a feeling of warmth towards Lila.

"So you're going to stay?" I asked eagerly. "Because I know before you were kind of up in the air with your decision." I had grown to love Lila like any other member of my family and even though I hadn't spent much time with her, I could feel her presence around. Just like every other person in our intricate family she added something and without her here things would just feel off.

"If Carlisle and Esme will allow me to stay, I think I'm going to look into saving up some more money and go to a school around here."

"Oh Lila of course they're going to let you stay." I exclaimed jumping up to give her a hug.

"I'm think I'm going to talk to them about it tonight." Excitement began ebbing into her tone.

"You have nothing to worry about, we all love you!" I yelped with happiness. It felt weird to have genuine happiness flooding over me, and I missed the way it felt. I was determined to get that back.

* * *

It felt like a one in a million night, because the stars had made an appearance from behind the clouds and I was taking full advantage of that. I was laying beneath them with my feet dangling in the pool, trying to clear my mind. It had been going haywire ever since I gave myself the 'make Jake fall in love with me' mission weeks ago. I was mentally exhausted, which in turn was draining me physically. It was a hard task getting the guy I love to fall in love with me again, all the while hiding how the simplest things he did could cut me like a knife. But things were progressing…slowly but I was just thankful they _were_ progressing. We had a much easier relationship, more like before he and I fell in love… I was forcing myself to keep my emotions under wraps and that was seriously helping Jake check his guilt.

I heard the door open and footsteps approaching me, but I kept my eyes on nothing but the sky. The person removed their shoes and placed their legs in the water like mine.

"It's beautiful out tonight." Jake whispered.

"Yeah it's magical." I said peeking over at him. He was leaned up on his palms staring at the cloudless night sky with a look of wonder.

"Can I ask you a question?" He inquired not looking away from the sky.

"Sure Jake. You can always ask me anything." I replied softly.

"How…you know what, never mind." He said slowly averting his gaze to me. I pulled my legs out of the water turned to him and crossed my legs in anticipation.

"Go on." I commented calmly. He looked back to the sky and inhaled.

"How badly am I hurting you?" he questioned in a pained voice. I was taken aback but I kept my cool.

"What… what do you mean?" I stuttered. And here I thought I was doing such a good job at hiding my feelings.

"Renesmee, I know that you're not okay as you seem. A blind man can see all of the pain you're in." He groaned.

"Jake honestly, I'm just learning to accept what I can't change and I'm trying to get back what we had." I said quietly placing my hand over his. He flinched at my touch and there went the knife. He sighed and laid back on the ground.

"I hate this." He moaned. I couldn't agree more and he had no idea...Or I guess he did. The moment passed quickly and I could feel the tension dissipate as Jake kicked the warm water onto me with a smile.

"Wanna go on a walk? This night is to pretty to waste." He asked popping to his feet offering me his hand. I took it all too willingly and felt the electric current run through me as our palms touched. It was the first kind of physical contact we'd had since he held me in his arms, the night he woke up from the coma and I could feel my body craving the spark we had. I knew he felt the jolt too, because his face said it all. As soon as I was on my feet, Jake instantly slipped his hand out from mine, and put his socks and shoes back on. I slid my uggs on and waited for him to finish. As soon as he was done he put what felt like an oceans width between us and started walking towards the trees. I followed beside him in a comfortable silence and when we finally reached a clearing, I sat down on a rock and peered back to the beautiful sky. Jake sat beside me about three feet away, and as time passed the temperature began to drop causing me to shiver. Jake took notice and uncomfortably slid over to me. I glanced at him with a sincere smile and without a word he placed his warm arm over my shoulders. He sat there stiff as a board and I could tell he was uncomfortable. I wasn't sure why he felt so awkward but it made me resist against my first instinct to nuzzle into his side. I tried not to move in fear of him freaking out so we continued to gaze in silence; both of us as still as a statue. Soon enough we began to thaw out and I couldn't help myself but to snuggle into him.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really cold." I said as I burrowed deeper into his side.

"S'kay." He grumbled. I pulled away and looked at him.

"I can stop." I muttered.

"No, no, it's just…how do you choose?" he questioned with an odd frustration edging in his voice.

"What do you mean?" I inquired curiously.

"I don't know, Renesmee." He sighed and dropped his head into his free hand. I cringed when he called me that, because it was one of the biggest reminders that he wasn't MY Jacob. He lifted his head after my drawn out silence, but avoided looking at me. When I continued not to say anything he shifted his body to look at me causing him to take the warmth of his arm from around me. Our eyes locked in a stare and we continued to gaze at each other until my heart began to race. I could feel the magic of the night dance around us and I just couldn't take it anymore…everything felt too right. One minute I'm looking at the reflection of stars in his breath taking eyes and the next I have his sweet lips in a kiss. I could feel his whole body freeze like a picture captured in time, but I couldn't help myself. Soon enough his hands moved from the restricted position at his sides, to running up my neck into my hair pulling me closer to him. I could feel myself float away as all of the repressed feelings began to drift away with each second his lips were on mine. The electric current running from my body to his felt so amazing and so right that I didn't care about anything but this moment; not the fact that he didn't remember me, not that he didn't know he loved me anymore…Nothing. But in one swift movement he untangled his hands from my hair, dropped them to my arms and pushed me gently away from him. He stared at me and I could see the conflict shining from his eyes.

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed trying to keep him for overreacting, but I could see that it was too late.

"I can't do this anymore." He stated in a dead voice. He dropped his hands from my arms, got up from the rock and began to walk back towards the house.

"Can't do what?" I asked in a frenzied panic, trying to keep up with him. He ignored me and kept plowing on like a man with a mission.

"Jake please tell me what you're talking about!" I wailed near tears. I began to fall behind so all I could do was focus on not letting him out of my eye sight. When we reached the house I caught my breath and yelled as he reached the door.

"Jacob Black, what the hell is the matter?"

"This. I can't do this." He replied calmly pointing between the two of us shaking his head.

"I'm sorry it won't ever happen again." I replied quickly brushing the tear away that managed to escape.

"It's not just that… I can't just sit here day in and day out pretending that everything is okay." He whispered.

"Everything is okay!" I shouted.

"No it's not! I know you're repressing all of your feelings and I know that my unintentional rejection is tearing you apart."

"I mean it hurts, but I've accepted that." I sniffled closing the distance. He shook his head, turned away and disappeared inside. I wiped my wet face and followed behind him. My dad was standing waiting just on the other side of the threshold with a grim look on his face.

"Not now please." I said speed walking past him without hesitation.

"Renesmee, his mind is made up." He replied grabbing my wrist softly as I passed him. I turned on him with confusion.

"What do you mean?" I interrogated hoping he didn't mean what I thought he meant. He nodded his head in confirmation. I swallowed back a scream and vomit simultaneously, shrugged him off of me and sprinted towards Jake's room. I busted in his room and began to bawl instantly. He had his duffle bags on the bed and he was shoving his clothes into them.

"Please don't do this!" I screamed hysterically. He didn't look at me as he continued packing his stuff. "Jacob please, please, all the hurt that I've felt is because we we're more than friends… we we're in love." I wailed trying everything to convince him to stay. It didn't work so I went to his bed grabbed one of the bags and began taking everything out that he had just put in.

"Renesmee, please don't make this harder than it has to be." He remarked in a hollowed voice. He still avoided me and continued his packing.

"NO! I'm not letting you go. You're doing what my dad did to my mom and it did neither of them any good." I babbled trying another angle.

"There's a difference. Between them and us…"

"Yeah I'm your imprint that's the difference." I spilled severely. That stopped him dead in his tracks and he stared at me.

"What?" He whispered.

"You imprinted on me when I was born." I answered back in a broken voice.

"Shit." He groaned dropping on the bed. I held my breath and sat next to him. "Renesmee, that doesn't change my mind." He moaned from his hands.

"Please stop calling me that, my name is Nessie you gave it to me." I mumbled "And how does that not change everything?" I demanded releasing a sob.

"I can't stay it's driving me insane. We're just going to have to find a way to live apart." He stated.

"How come we can't start over?"

"We're trying that, and it's not working!" he bellowed hopping off the bed, grabbing the bags and heading towards the door. He reached for the knob and stopped just before he did. I stood in anticipation. He turned around towards me but didn't reach my gaze and stood quietly. Suddenly he closed the gap in a quick stride and pulled me in to hug. I cried in his chest for a good five minutes all the while hoping it wasn't going to end.

"I'm so sorry, but we're both doing more harm than good being here with each other. This just seems like it's the only thing left to do." He whispered.

"But it's not, it will get easier." I spat pushing him away angrily.

"It's been weeks Renesmee, when is it going to get better? We can't keep torturing ourselves for years and realize it's just not going to work."

"But why? Why can't we make it work? I was obviously meant for you! I'm your imprint for fuck sake!" I roared turning away from him.

"You have to understand my heart is telling me one thing and my head is telling me another, I'm so fucking screwed up…" he trailed off "And the last time I followed my heart it was broken." He added in a whisper.

"What are you not understanding? I'm your fucking imprint, I want you more than I want to live." I cried frustrated as tears continued to free fall.

"But I hurt you every single damn day and I can't live with myself and the fact that I am your…your imprint makes it seven million times worse." He spewed through clenched teeth with revulsion.

"But you leaving is going to solve nothing!" I said turning on him frustration and anger radiating off of me.

"Yes, we can both stop with the charade and learn to live again! I don't want to keep hurting you and I don't want you to have to hide how you feel."

"Just be with me…be with me like we we're before, and see if things change." I pleaded taking his hand looking up into his eyes.

"I can't…" he said turning his stare to the window. "You'll always want the past and the history we had together and I might not ever be able to give that to you again, and without that I know you'll always be in pain."

"But I would rather deal with the pain of that, then the pain of losing you." I replied quietly as tears continued to flow.

"I can't live with that…knowing I'm hurting you every day."

"But if you leave it will still be hurting me, and even worse it will be physically too." He kissed me on the forehead and I knew it was a lost argument and I began to sob. He turned back towards the door pulled it open and spoke.

"But your pain won't be staring me in the face…I know it's selfish, but it's for my own mental health. It's literally driving me insane seeing all the pain I'm causing you."

"But…I….I…I love you." I stuttered. He gave me one last teary eyed look and said one last thing that cut me so deep I wanted to die.

"I'm sorry." With that he turned and started down the stairs. I stood their sobbing aching over my heart that he just tore out. Somehow I heard over my sobs, my mom stop Jacob down stairs.

"Jacob please don't do this." She begged.

"I can't do it anymore Bella." He replied pained.

"When Edward left, it did us neither of us any good at all."

"I know but your circumstances we're different…for starters he knew who you were." Jacob said making the pain in my chest intensify. "He knew he loved you Bella! He wasn't really hurting you he just though he was, I know for a fact that I am hurting Renesmee."

"But this is going to hurt her more, she'll get over that you don't remember her, she'll never fully recover if you leave her."

"Bella please, I just had this conversation with Renesmee and I can't do it again…I'm leaving and that's it."

"Jacob…"

"Please just let me say my goodbyes to everyone. This is hard enough."

"This is your home. Nessie is your home." Mom said her voice breaking.

"I can't." He replied in a soft broken whisper. "Go console your daughter she needs you." and with that the conversation and my life were over…

* * *

Months slipped by just like the passing seasons. And spring was now in full bloom. I really didn't know how I survived the last few months. The rest of fall after Jake left was nearly unbearable and winter didn't prove itself to be any better. It was the same routine day in and day out; crying, sleeping, eating and crying…a lot of crying. I think it took me a long time to really grasp that Jake was gone and he wasn't coming back. I was alone, and that hurt. But what hurt the most was that he wasn't even willing to try. During the first few months he was gone, my mom kept telling me she was the same way when way when my dad left and that I needed to find a distraction. I didn't think that would work, but by the time I had drifted through months without a single ounce of happiness I knew I had to change. Jake wasn't dead he was just… gone. I managed to accept that and started to move on with my life. So I decided to go back to high school, but not in the way that anyone expected. I applied to an art school in New York and was easily accepted and I planned to go for the summer ballet program, now all I had to do was convince my parents. I was in the kitchen looking at their grief stricken faces staring down at my acceptance letter.

"How did I not know about this?" My dad grumbled tapping his insanely perfect teeth with his finger.

"I did a good job of covering my tracks." I replied with a shrug. They both looked up at me simultaneously from their stools and swallowed.

"But why New York? It's so far." My mom commented dropping her eyes back to the letter. She didn't get it… that was the whole point, to get as far away from here as I could. She's lucky it was just New York; if I could I would put an ocean between me and this place and go half way across the world to Barcelona, or Moscow.

"It will be a nice change." I stated casually. This was my new attitude, very caviler and void of emotions. I had to be this way because if I let even the slightest inkling of feelings in, I knew I could be riding the next wave right back into crazy town.

"She wants to get away from here." My dad said pushing a stray curl from mom's neck. He was right I _was_ running. Plain and simple, just like everyone else seemed to do. And damn it if they can do it, then so can I.

"But Renesmee, don't you see running has never worked." My dad replied to my thoughts.

"Tell that to him." I commented with distaste. "And anyway wasn't it you guys who told me to find a distraction? Well here it is." I said exasperated pointing to the letter; my escape.

"I wasn't talking about moving away." My mom whispered.

"I'm not moving away, I'm just taking a break from here for the summer." I shrugged.

"I wouldn't feel comfortable letting you go all the way to New York by yourself. You barely started high school." My mom said looking from up from the letter.

"It's not like I'd be gallivanting all over New York… I would be in a structured school with teachers and adults. I would be throwing myself into my ballet and school, I'd hardly have time to think." my mom sighed and looked up to my dad. He had moved from next to her to his current position looking over her shoulder.

"What do you think?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe we could go with. It could be like a family vacation, just the three of us." He answered back with a small smile. I sighed dropped my head into my hands and exhaled loudly.

"I know that you guys are freaking out and all but I really just need a break… a fresh start, a place where nobody knows me. Anyways you guys would never be able to go out in the day."

"I don't know Renesmee." My mom said looking back to me.

"Please consider it. Don't just totally axe the idea without a second thought." I begged.

"That's the least we can do." My dad replied with a nod.

"That's all I ask." I answered back as I jumped off the counter and wandered out of the kitchen to my bedroom in a daze. Of course it was the normal daze I had been in since I finally came too. I flopped on my bed lazily and waited for their answer while doing the inevitable… I thought. I thought about the reason why I could hardly breathe and the fact that, even if I inhaled a deep gulp of fresh air, I still felt like I was suffocating…like my air supply was being constricted and it was because of him. He was the reason why I was in excruciating pain every second that dripped off of the damn clock. His name was the one word I refused to say because it felt taboo, but I couldn't help but to think of his name… his face, his smile, his movements, his lips, his eyes, his laugh…every second of everyday that was all I could see…_He_ was all I could see. The memories haunted me like a ghost and I really didn't know how I was breathing… how I was alive. I wanted to hate him, to be mad at him…but I couldn't. I just missed him. I missed him with my whole heart and my entire being.

The second Jacob Black walked out of that door and out of my _life,_ I felt like my world was motionless in some sort of twisted nightmare. I thought right then in there I was going to dissolve in my sea of tears and drift away into the unknown. I was suspended in free fall as a black shadow of grief threatened to engulf me. I tried to refrain from it as long as I could; hoping to make myself feel anything but the agonizing pain. Hoping to see a glimpse of light in the dark hole that threatened to consume me, but soon I couldn't fight it anymore and I let go. I hurtled deep down into a pit of despair and the next time I resurfaced and became truly lucid it was the beginning of spring. I don't know what brought me out but I was suddenly aware of everything; the sky, the smell of the flowers, the eerie silence…and most of all the pain in my heart. After that I threw myself into the only comforting thing I could and that was ballet. It was the only thing that could distract me from him. I was losing myself in my memory of Jake and I's first kiss when there was a light knock on the door.

"Comm'in." My mom came in first with a soft smile followed by my dad.

"We've decided to let you go." I thanked them with hugs and followed them downstairs to dinner.

* * *

Soon enough I was stepping off of a plane into the dazzling New York sunlight, with a mix of emotions flowing through me instantaneously; both sadness, and relief. It was harder than I had expected to leave my family and I knew that I was going to miss them terribly. But I could feel myself beginning to fall into the abyss again and I knew if I stayed trapped in the prison of my memories I would succumb to the darkness that once consumed me. I realized I was shaking as I walked towards the tall lanky blonde woman holding the sign with my summer program on it.

"I'm Renesmee Cullen." I stated holding out my trembling hand.

"First time away from mum and dad?" the woman asked with a thick British accent taking my hand. I nodded and gave a small smile. "Oh smile sweets you'll survive, it's only a few months and they'll fly by. The next thing you know it will be the end of holiday and you'll be wishing you could return back time."

"I'll be fine." I assured her as confident as I could. The painful ache in my chest reminded me that I probably wouldn't be.

"I'm Camden, one of the consolers at the school."

"Cam!" a pretty girl squealed bumping me to the side as she pulled Camden in for a hug. I took that as my cue and fell back in to the growing crowd of chattering boys and girls. A stylish boy in a fedora with his hands in his pockets stood on the wall observing me. He stood up and walked over to me not removing his eyes from my face and it made me feel insecure.

"I'm Levi." He said offering me his tan hand. I stood there staring at him saying nothing. "Aw comm'on I won't bite." He said also offering me a smile too. After a few more seconds I reached out and took his soft hand.

"Uh Renesmee, but you can call me Ness." I replied cautiously.

"Interesting name. I like it though it's so, so original. What are you studying this summer?"

"Ballet and contemporary dance." I responded as I heaved my backpack over my shoulder joining the leaving crowd. "And you?"

"I'm a pianist." He shrugged.

"That doesn't seem like you want to be a pianist?" I asked skeptically. He shrugged again.

"I've been going to this program since I was fifteen; I don't think I've spent more than two weeks at home since I was ten, this place is just a reminder that my parents are too busy to care about their only son." He answered back bitterly.

"I'm sorry, I know what it's like to not be wanted." I whispered as Jake came rushing to the forefront of my mind. Also along for the ride down memory lane was our fight we had that left me in my current state; shambles. I inhaled and gathered myself. Running didn't seem to be working either.

* * *

It was a cool night and I was hanging out at the beach with some of the friends I'd made. We were two months into the program with just a few weeks to go and Levi had easily become my closest friend. He always knew what to say and what not to say and he could see it in my eyes when I was lost in Jake land, which happened almost as frequent as it did back home. But one thing I found out; was that no matter how far I ran I would never _ever_ be able to run away from my memories… or the love I felt for Jacob Black… or from the pain I felt…and that killed me. I should have known that, but the only time I really felt some relief was when I was enthralled in my dancing. Gliding on the floor so naturally you would never know I was really the world's biggest klutz.

"Walk with me?" Levi asked his face a glow in the moonlight. I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself as the cool ocean mist nipped at my exposed skin.

"Are you cold?" he questioned as we walked down the beach.

"No I'm fine." I replied watching the waves lick the shore line up ahead. I didn't notice Levi closing the distance, and then I felt him fling his arms over my shoulders. I immediately froze, as the night Jake left me in pieces flashed in my mind clear and painful. I let out a whimper and sunk to the ground as the pain became too much and my knees buckled.

"Ness? Are you okay? I'm so sorry if I did something." Levi said softly. He kneeled down next to me trying to see my face. I didn't speak. I couldn't the pain was overwhelming me and I was trying to pull myself away from the drain I was headed toward. "Ness?" Levi questioned almost inaudibly. I finally looked at him, his blue eyes were reflecting the moon, and he did the worst thing he could have; he kissed me. But I didn't stop him and I didn't want to. Things were rushing through my head like a powerful river, and I realized how desperate I was for that closeness; so I deepened the kiss. He tangled his hands in my hair and continued to kiss me, moving down my neck and to my shoulders. My eyes fluttered opened at the sound of my hammering heart and I realized this wasn't what I wanted. I wanted Jacob Black and nothing would ever change that. He was my imprint and I was his and that would always connect us and hopefully bring us back together. I pushed Levi away saddened because he really meant a lot to me and I didn't want to hurt him.

"I can't do this… My heart… it belongs to him." I whispered not looking at him. I heard him sigh and drop back onto the sand. "I'm really sorry." It was quiet and wanted him to say something, anything.

"Ness, he left. You need to move on." He commented softly. He knew about Jake, but in a muddled lie that I created to hide my supernatural life. He knew he was the boy I was in love with, and he knew he broke my heart when he left me. He also knew that Jake had no recollection of me what so ever.

"I've tried." I said in a dead voice staring at the endless sea of midnight sky and black water.

"Are you going to keep living your life waiting for him to come back to you?" he questioned with a hit of frustration edging into his voice.

"You don't understand. I love him more then I love anything in this world…I don't think I will ever be able to move on." I replied knowing it was the truth. I could drown myself in one hobby or the next but it would never make the pain subside. The only thing that could do that was Jake. The realization I always knew but didn't want to confirm made fresh tears sting my eyes.

"Time." Was all he stated. I shook my head.

"I've been away from him for months now and the pain of my heart just keeps getting worse."

"You _need_ to move on… learn to live again. And I could help you; I can be what you need." He retorted with a little more confidence. I could feel him crawling to my side.

"I love him, with my whole body and soul. He's my world; it's not just something I can get over." I strained out in a broken voice.

"He really did a number on you huh?" he asked rhetorically. He had no idea. He draped his arm over me and I leaned into his side listening to the waves in silence. I would never get over Jacob Black, but I could learn to live again. Levi was right about that.

I opened my eyes still heavy from sleep, and wiped the sweat off my head where Levi's skin and mine together created a sticky mess. He was cuddled up to me and I couldn't help but feel disappointed that it was him and not Jake…But it was nice to wake up next to somebody. I can't even count how many nights I would wake up crying, thinking that all of it was all some dreadful nightmare. Hoping with every fiber of my being that when I would roll over Jakes god-like face would be there to greet me with a soft kiss, and to tell me everything was going to be okay. But of course I was wrong and the blow I would receive was never any less than what it was the night before. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time: 5:53 am. My stomach plummeted because it was nearly seven hours past our curfew.

"Levi!" I screamed jumping to my feet in a panic. He jumped up on full alert.

"What, what happened?" He inquired looking around frantically.

"We are so late, we have to go!" I wailed grabbing my bag and sprinting away towards our dorms.

* * *

The last few weeks of the program flew by, mostly because Levi and I had been put on probation and all we could do was practice our talents and prepare for the final production. By the end I was stronger. I was right I would never get over Jake but I could move on and that's what I was doing. I was filling my time trying not to let myself get too wrapped up in him, my memories or our past. Of course I still had my times where I would cry myself to sleep or ball up in a ball in the shower and sob until I couldn't anymore, but those times weren't nearly as often and for that I was thankful. Of course the ragged hole in my chest was still there and I had already accepted the fact that, that would never heal.

It was the night of my performance and my family was sitting in the audience waiting to see how I had progressed in my passion. They had all flew in earlier tonight and I was going home with them before sunrise the next morning. I was stretching on the ground when Levi came up and rubbed my back.

"Nervous?" he asked with his charming smile.

"A little, I've never really preformed for my whole family before. I mean sure when I was little I would force them into the living room and make them watch me preform a dance I made by myself, but never like this."

"You're gonna do fine Ness." He stated firmly. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. I looked up at him and gave him a sad smile because I knew he had feelings for me that could never be reciprocated. I could see the pain shining bright from his eyes and it cut me like a rusty knife. I would be glad when this was over and I wouldn't have to look in his eyes and know I was the one causing that pain. I inhaled sharply. This was what Jake was running from and now I knew why. It was hard having to stare at someone you knew loved you and you couldn't love back the way they wanted…to have to stare in those pain filled eyes it was almost too much. I stood up and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Thanks." I whispered after a minute or so. When I didn't let go, he pushed me away and looked at me.

"Are you alright?" he probed concerned.

"Fine." I answered trying with all my might to keep my voice steady. Then the last thing on earth, I thought would happen…happened. I got weak in my knees and collapsed.

"Ness? Are you okay?" Levi yelped dropping to my side. I swallowed hard.

"I'm fine." I mouthed inaudibly. I could hear some commotion at the door and then my mom walked in looking stunning. Everyone was marveling at her and she did look more beautiful than normal. She was in a classy blue long sleeved dress that fell just below her knees and that hugged her body in all the right places. She was in simple black pumps and her hair was pinned perfectly in loose curls that framed her face elegantly. The finishing touch was the intricate black gloves. I almost blurted out mom but I stopped it and swallowed it back. It took all I had to restrain myself from using vampire speed to close the distance. I guess I didn't know how much I missed her until that moment. She was the one to come to me and she pulled me into a soft hug.

"Oh Renesmee, I missed you so much." she whispered into my ear.

"I missed you too mom." I said back just as quiet.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, and I could tell by the concern in her voice that she knew…She knew my heart was mending, because the guy I love was here. I gave a curt nod into her shoulder and fought back the tears.

"Why?"

"Your dad is talking to him now." I didn't know if I wanted to see him or not. But the relief from the agonizing pain that had been in place for nearly ten month practically made me sick. I finally noticed that everyone was still standing there awkwardly watching our intimate exchange. I pulled away and motioned to Levi.

"Levi this is my sister Bella. Bella this is one of my really good friends Levi." I could see him flinch at the word friends and I flinched too. Then I could feel my whole body nearly convulsing. So it wasn't a flinch. I tried to stop but I couldn't help it there were so many things happening at once. My head was spinning.

"It's nice to meet you Bella; Ness has told me so much about you." Levi said shaking my mom's hand.

"It's wonderful to finally meet the boy Renesmee has told me so much about." I sighed and glanced at Levi who gave me wink. I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"I'm so sorry but we are about to start the performance, so you must take your seats in the house." Camden commented coming up behind us. I nodded and inconspicuously placed my hand on my mom's cheek so I could communicate with out words. I projected feeling scared and not knowing what to do about Jake.

She hugged me and said with a firm tone "Go out there and be the ballerina I know you can be." She pecked me on the cheek and vanished just as fast as she came. Levi looked at me with a hundred questions flashing across his gorgeous blue eyes.

"What the hell just happened?" I shook my head as they called out my name to get in place for the performance.

The lights began to dim as the music began to start and Levi leaned close to my ear clearly unhinged at my collapse.

"This isn't over" He whispered before he vanished. I took a deep breath and readied myself as I floated on the stage as graceful as a ballerina should be. I let the past few minutes dissolve from my mind and focused on my dancing and only that. I absolutely nailed my solo and soared off stage beaming, as everyone stood for a standing ovation. Five minutes after I got off stage, my high began to dissipate as those few moments came rushing back to me in a wave of confusion and terror. I sat in the corner the rest of the performances with my mind racing. Thinking about what I was going to say? How was I going to react to seeing him? Was he even going to see me? I was totally out of it until I noticed that Levi was staring in my face, with sheer terror shining out of his eyes. I blinked in confusion and looked around at the empty room.

"How long have you been here?" I questioned my voice hoarse from lack of use.

"A while…What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked pushing a drenched curl from my neck. Apparently I was sweating profusely because my whole neck felt like I had just got out of the shower.

"Nothing…" I lied unconvincingly. "Just don't want to go face the memories when I go home." I added after because I knew there was no way he was going to accept that as a suitable answer. He nodded and offered me his hand to help me up. I slowly rose to my feet and stabled myself on the wall feeling dizzy.

"Here drink this." He said handing me a glass of water. I guzzled a few dregs down and let the cold water calm me.

"Thanks." I commented wiping the remaining water from my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Better?" I nodded and continued to sip. "Are you going to be okay? I have to run up to my room and grab some stuff I left, before I head out."

"Yeah you go ahead; I'll get my stuff and find my family in the court yard. Meet by the fountain in ten?"

"Sure." He replied worried. He started to turn away but rethought it at the last minute. He pecked me on the cheek, with one last look and disappeared. I sighed and took another deep drink of my water.

"Renesmee?" The voice asked unsure. I jumped and dropped the glass which hit the ground with a sickening thud spilling the rest of the water all over hardwood floor. I stood with my back to the voice trembling like a delicate flower in a cool spring breeze. "Your dad told me I shouldn't have come." I swallowed hard and turned slowly. Standing in the door way looking better than my mind could ever imagined was Jacob. I didn't really know what to say. So we stood there in silence, just staring at each other. I couldn't shuffle through all of the feelings running rampant through my mind like wild fire. I was so in love with him and I knew it. But I was also fucking pissed that he left. I was craving his touch like the way I need air, and my stomach was doing flips because I knew that he was leaving me again. I felt like I was going into overload.

"Say something please." He nearly begged taking a step towards me. My feet involuntarily moved closer to him like a gravitational pull.

"What, what are you doing here?" I questioned over my pounding heart, which I knew we could both hear.

"I've been talking to your parents since I left and I knew that you had a recital tonight…I felt compelled to come." He answered not taking his eyes off of me. All I could do was nod. Another drawn out silence fell upon us.

"Do you hate me?" he asked vulnerably. "Honestly."

"As much as I would love to hate you…I can't." I answered earnestly. I saw him flinch at my words and I knew I had to explain. "My life would be a hell of a lot easier if I didn't love you so gosh damn much. It nearly kills me every minute…no, every second you're away from me."

"I'm so sorry." He whispered dropping his gaze for the first time since our eyes locked in the stare. "But seeing what I see now is why I left. And I can clearly see there's even more hurt and it's making me sick."

"Does that mean you're leaving again?" I questioned on the brink of tears. He looked back to me and nodded cautiously. My mind was screaming in my head telling me to run to him, to kiss him to make him stay but all I could do was nod back. I could feel myself losing my grip again and I knew I had to get away from him. I turned back to my bag and began shoving all the ends and odds away as tears began to slip down my face. Why the fuck did he come? I was accepting he was gone and then he throws me back in a wild tornado again and I wanted to hate him for it. I wanted to fucking loath him, but god knows what I wouldn't give to be in his arms, burrowing my face in his chest taking in his scent and suddenly I couldn't breathe. I grabbed my crap and wiped my tears away.

"Thanks for coming." I mumbled as I brushed past him without another look. I broke out of the building into the humid night searching through a blurry mess of my vision for my mom. She appeared out thin air and I ran into her arms, finding solace there for the first time in a long time…it was usually Jakes arms that I wanted but my mom was what I needed right now.

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**A/N: I'm sorry it's so late... and I'm sorry it skips so much i felt like i had to get certain points across with out spending so much time in one period. I know i don't deserve them but your reviews really do mean a lot! Thanks a heap!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Sm yup all her.**

**A/N: Okay so not too bad of an update right, a shorter chapter but it's a chapter none the less. Enjoy **

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**JPOV**

I was lying on the floor of Rachel and Paul's house, playing with my niece Sarah. I nudged the ball she was just about to get out of her reach again. She balled up one of her pudgy little hands and clocked me dead in the mouth; causing it to swell for a few seconds. She was just barley ten months and the kid already had her dad's temper.

"Ouch, you've got a mean right hook there kiddo." I said rubbing my lip.

"Jake will you give it to her?" Rachel sighed with a playful kick in the back as she walked past. I was getting it from all angles so I handed Sarah the ball and popped to my feet. She giggled and looked up at me with my mother's eyes and my sisters' thick black hair.

"Sarah, what did mommy say about hitting? It's not okay." she scolded. "But then again he deserved it huh?" she mumbled under her breath shooting a menacing grin at me. I rolled my eyes and placed a soft kiss on the beautiful baby's forehead as she continued to coo at her ball. I turned back to Rachel and I could see the look on her face that I'd been getting a lot lately…Sympathy mixed with 'Jake you're an ass hole.'

"What Rach?" I questioned sitting at the kitchen table.

"Nothin' it's just… never mind." She replied quietly. I groaned and put my head in my hands on the table "Come on Jake, what are you doing?" she questioned softly after a minute.

"I dunno, I really don't." I mumbled back.

"You've been hiding out from the world here since you left Nessie months ago. And to be honest when you left for New York I was hoping you weren't gonna come back."

"I can leave if you want me too?" I asked trying to hide the hurt in my voice.

"No, no it's not that I don't want you here. Don't get me wrong we all love having you around, but you don't belong here. We can all see you're miserable." She whispered.

"Well where do I belong? With the girl I don't remember, and who I hurt every single damn day? Is that where I belong?" I spat angrily.

"No Jacob. You belong with your imprint. That's it there's nothing more too it." She stated firmly. I buried my face in my arms.

"I can't…when I went to see her…the pain. I almost threw up." I mumbled disjointed.

"Jake, she's hurting because she loves you idiot. You left her. As an imprint I know how much she needs you..."

"I know that Rachel, you don't think I don't fucking know that? I had to leave it was killing me… but there's no escape! Either way I'm in pain being with her, I'm in pain without her."

"You love her though?" she inquired.

"I don't know. I honestly don't know what I feel, or what I want." I replied coming to a conclusion. I heard her inhale deeply.

"Whatever you say Jacob." She answered back frustrated. "I'm gonna put Sarah down for her nap, you keep thinking about this." I heard her go to Sarah and cooed at her it was time for a nap.

"Say good night to Uncle Jake." I felt a little hand smack my back.

"Nigh, nigh." Sarah said in baby talk. I lifted my head, kissed her goodbye, and set off back to my dad's house.

I was more fucked up than ever and I didn't know what to do. For starters I was in constant physical pain. Every second of everyday I felt like the hole kept getting bigger, I was surprised there wasn't an actual visible hole in my chest. I was in a constant battle with myself whether or not to try and make it work with Renesmee or to keep my distance. But seeing her and all the pain in her eyes it assured me that I was doing the right thing. I couldn't face that every day… No matter how much my heart was telling me I loved her. I faltered the most in my façade when my heart started repairing after so many months in pain. But I knew I had to move on because I couldn't have her and I couldn't keep living this life of self-pity and self-loathing I was in. Fall semester was coming again and I had worked too hard to get into school to not go back. It was decided that I was going to move in with Seth and Embry and go back to school for law.

"Hey dad, Justine." I greeted as I walked into the small house.

"Hey Jake, this is your last night here, are you guys having a big party to say goodbye again?" Justine asked from the stove.

"Yeah it's gonna be a big bon fire like usual." I commented back. There was an uncomfortable silence and I could they wanted to say something but they wouldn't so I shrugged and headed to my room to pack up. I was absentmindedly shoving everything I had into my duffle bags when I dropped my bottle of shaving cream on the floor. I groaned and fell to the ground, searching for it under the bed. I was feeling around when my hand brushed a piece of paper. I grabbed it and yanked it out to see what it was. It was a punch in the stomach that's what it was…I turned, leaned against my bed and stared at the picture. It was Renesmee and I. She had her small arms wrapped around my waist and I had my arm snaked around her shoulders. We were both looking at each other with so much love and happiness it nearly made me sick. I could almost feel the love through the picture. Everything began to get blurry as I continued to stare. I blinked the tears away. What I wouldn't give to go back there, to know who I am and who I love. I sighed and got up to finish packing so I could get out of here. When I was done I ventured back into the living room where my dad and Justine were sitting; he was watching the news and she was reading some love novel.

"That time again?" My dad asked shifting his attention to me.

"Yep. I gotta get back to Oregon so I can register and stuff." I nodded.

"Jake before you go I want to tell you something…" he said quietly trailing off.

"What's up?" I inquired apprehensively.

"Follow your heart it will never lead you astray." he commented quietly. I nodded and stood there quietly for him to say something else. When he didn't I gave them hugs and headed out the door for La Push.

Follow my heart…My heart wasn't beating anymore. Not since I left Renesmee.

The party was in full swing with the overcast skies and comforting shore of La Push as the backdrop of our party. I was sitting on a log secluded from the rest of the people when Seth wondered over to me and plopped down.

"Hey Jake this is our goodbye party, why aren't you… well partying?" he questioned with the stench of beer seeping from him.

"I was I mean I just inhaled two burgers." I shrugged. To be honest seeing all of those couples in love was making me queasy.

"Oh yeah big man on the beach, you're such a drag to be around." He commented bluntly. I flinched but I knew it was the truth.

"I know I am, so why are you around me? I was minding my own business!" I spat coldly.

"I'm moving in with you. Remember that genius? I'm going to have to be around you twenty four seven…but then again not really because I have Lila." He said flinging his arm around me.

"How much have you had to drink?" I inquired repulsed.

"A lot. But dude Lila…She makes me…Happy." He stated reflecting that of a teenage boy who was smitten. "I think I love her." He added in a whisper. I shrugged his arm off my shoulder and looked at him.

"Love…Are you sure?" I investigated seriously.

"Yep, I'm sure Jake. She makes everything better." he replied dazed. "She fixed me when I was broken. I think I was in love with her when I first seen her. You know love at first sight…not imprinting but pure natural love."

"How do you know that she was being ea…" he smacked his hand over my mouth to shut me up.

"Shut the hell up! We'll talk about this later." He slurred. I shoved his hand off my face and nodded. "Come on Jake, come party." He said getting up and stumbling away. I sighed and dropped my head into my hands…this was going to be a long night. Next in the parade of people trying to cheer me up was Embry and Jordan.

"Hey Jake." They both sang out like a chorus. I sighed; the love struck couple of the decade was definitely the last two people I wanted to see.

"Hey guys what's up?" I wondered hoping this wasn't going to take long. Embry sat down next to me bringing Jordan down playfully on his lap.

"I don't want to beat around the bush here Jake, so Jordan and I want to know if you want to date?" Embry spewed in on breath. I looked at him appalled; the thought never crossed my mind.

"Hell no!" I commented immediately.

"I honestly don't see why not Jake? Everyone is worried about you, and obviously what you're doing right now isn't working…at all." Embry shot back.

"Because no girl appeals to me, I don't even know when the last time I noticed one was." I whispered honestly.

"Maybe you should just try it Jake." Jordan replied rubbing my back softly. I inhaled deeply looked up to the sky. Why couldn't I just fucking remember?

"Fine" I said through clenched teeth.

"Brilliant! I know the perfect girl!" Jordan sang excitedly clapping her hands together. "I'll tell her to swing by when we get home." I nodded wanting more than anything for this stupid fucking conversation to end. I couldn't handle anymore pity looks or conversations, and I knew I was a drag so I said my goodbyes contrary to them telling me to stay and I left. I started walking in the woods not knowing where the hell I was going, finally I began noticing things to alert me where I was and then I stumbled upon the Cullen's old house. I shoved my hand in my pockets, shuffled to the stairs and plopped down lazily. What _was_ I doing? I Laid back on the porch and stared thinking about what I wanted…did I want to follow my heart, or listen to my head? I closed my eyes and let the memories from the past few weeks envelop me. All the flinching, the pain, the awkwardness… But that kiss, I will say that, that kiss blew my mind. I must have dozed off because Seth was kicking me awake.

"Come on Jake lets go." he yelled.

"Where are we going?" I mumbled rolling away from him.

"Back to Oregon, the party's over and the car is packed." He replied nudging me with his foot again.

"Alright, alright. Are you still drunk?" I questioned sitting up and rubbing my face.

"No, you know that only lasts an hour if that." He replied walking towards the car. I lurched to my feet stretched and started after him.

"How'd you know where I was?" I questioned as I pulled the door shut behind me.

"I phased and followed your scent." He answered pulling onto the road smoothly. It was quiet for a while until he cleared his throat. "Look Jake, I'm sorry about what I said at the bonfire." He whispered.

"Don't sweat it, it's true. I hate the way I am but I can't help it Seth." I replied desolately as I stared out the window watching flickers of the night fly by.

"Why don't you go back to Nessie then Jake?" he inquired with a genuine interest in his voice.

"Because I can't. I've made a huge fucking colossal mess of her life and mine." I answered back honestly.

"Jake I don't have an imprint, but I can say that I'm sure no matter what happens she's always going to want you and love you."

"It's more than that Seth, but trust me I've almost went back to her numerous times… hoping that I could try and make it work. My trip to New York was going to help me decide and it did I can't go and face that and now on top of the old hurt there's the new hurt of me leaving her."

"Whatever you say Jake, it's your life." He stated exasperated.

"Onto things that matter, like you and Lila?" I investigated. He nodded and the same look from tonight returned.

"Yeah I'm in love with her." He spilled excitedly with a smile.

"How can you be in love with, with a vampire?" I asked interested.

"I don't know, I guess I don't see her for what she is but for who she is." He shrugged.

"I'm happy for you Seth, when are you going to tell everyone?" I inquired. He removed his hand from the steering wheel and rubbed his forehead.

"That's the problem. I don't know if I want too."

"How does she feel about that?"

"It hasn't really come up…I'm scared Jake."

"I can see why, it's like Romeo and Juliet. But Lila seems understanding…"

"She is, but I don't want her to think of me as a coward you know?" I nodded because that was exactly what I was…A Big fucking coward.

We pulled up to our new apartment a few hours later and all I wanted to do was get a horrible night sleep and go do my school shit tomorrow.

"I'm going to see Lila at the Cullen's, want to come?" Seth questioned chugging a bottle of water. Yes I wanted to but I knew I couldn't.

"No that's okay I'm pretty sure I'm not welcomed there anymore." Seth scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Jake that's ridiculous."

"Is it? I broke Renesmees heart." I stated in a hollow voice walking towards my room. I shoved the door open and tossed my shit on the bed that took up about eighty percent of the room. I unpacked everything until I came to the last thing; the picture. I sighed opened my dresser and slipped it in there out of sight. I collapsed on the bed and fell into an uneasy sleep. I tossed and turned all night, something I was used to because I hadn't had a decent night sleep in I don't know how long.

"Jake! Wake up!" Embry screamed. "You have a date!"

"What?" I grumbled thickly.

"Remember, Jordan said she was going to hook you up? Well you have a coffee date at 10:30" he said rummaging through my closet. I grabbed my phone and looked at the time ten am. I rolled over to a shirt in the face. I groaned, sat up, yanked the shirt off my face and threw it to the floor.

"What the hell? Look I appreciate this, but I can't." I stated getting smacked in the face by a pair of shorts.

"Nope you agreed Jake… just give it a try." He replied softly.

"Fine! But I don't need you to dress me." I spat irritated. He looked at me hesitantly and then left. I dragged my hands down my face and fumbled out of bed to my closet. I threw a white t-shirt and some khakis on my bed and dressed slowly. What the fuck was I thinking?

I was walking up to the coffee shop by 10:30 sharp. Okay Jake see her, really look at her and see her. I kept telling myself over and over. I looked around my eyes falling upon a tall, tan girl with loose black curls flowing down her back. She had deep set bright green eyes and thin rosy lips. She was decent enough, in her pink strapless top, jean shorts and summery looking sandals. I inhaled deeply, mustered up a smile and started heading towards her. She held out a hand which I shook gently.

"Hey I'm Allyson, but you can call me Ally." She said sweetly.

"Hey I'm Jake."

"I've got a table right over there." She said glancing to a small table in the corner. I nodded and followed her over. She sat in the chair across from me and looked at menu. "Did you want anything?" she probed. I could see the flimsy piece of paper shaking in her hands and I decided to give this my best effort.

"Uh yeah sure I'll get a coffee and a chocolate muffin." She set the menu down and gave me a smile.

"You know what that sounds great; I think I'll get that too." I nodded and returned the smile

"So Jordan tells me you're going to school to be a lawyer?" she asked trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah I've always liked Law and I really want to help people with my degree."

"So you're not gonna be one of those big shots?" she asked leaning forward.

"Nah I think I wanna do a lot of pro-bono and help the people who can't really afford it."

"Wow that's amazing."

"What are you doing in school?" I questioned trying to keep up the light conversation we had going.

"I'm going to be a teacher." She said with a shrug.

"What grade?"

"Elementary. I love kids."

"That's cool, yeah I like my niece a lot…" she chuckled and I smiled back. This was easier than I thought but I couldn't keep my mind off of Renesmee. By then end of the date I had another one and if I had to do this to get everyone off my back I would. I pulled out of the parking lot probably more fucked up then before. Having an okay day with another girl just made me miss Renesmee even more. Because even though I was hurting Renesmee I still had some great times with her. I drove into the apartment parking lot and dropped my head on the steering wheel. This was stupid I was just going to end up hurting Ally. Just then my phone began ringing from my pocket…Esme.

"Hello?"

"Jacob." She said sounding…hurt.

"Uh hi Esme…what's up?" I questioned sheepishly.

"Seth told me something last night."

"Really?" I inquired.

"You think you're not welcome here anymore?" she asked gently. I sat quietly on the line, I didn't really know what to say. "Jacob Black, no matter what happens you will always, _always_ be welcomed in our home." She stated firmly.

"I'm sorry it was said out of anger." I replied guiltily.

"Jacob we miss you, Renesmee misses you." she said softly. "Come home." I nearly broke down. It was hard enough saying I couldn't stay the first time.

"Esme…I, I…" I trailed off

"I know, just know we all love you."

"Thanks I love you guys too." I whispered.

"You'll come see us soon right?" she inquired hopefully.

"Yeah, I will." I said honestly. "Hey are you around Edward?" I questioned. I heard the air shift and Edward came on the line.

"Hello Jacob."

"Uh hey Edward…"

"How are you?"

"I've been better…how's Renesmee?"

"Honestly she's back to falling apart." He stated pained. I cringed.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"Your visit to New York sent her over the edge, but I think we're putting her back into school this fall, she needs a distraction."

"Yeah I should have never gone." I replied quietly.

"No you shouldn't have because she was starting to move on." He spat.

"I'm sorry. Tell her that will you?" I inquired nearly begging. I heard him sigh.

"It won't help, but I will."

"Thanks I'll talk to you later."

"Goodbye Jacob."

I hung up the phone and walked slowly back to my apartment.

It was Christmas vacation and things were getting out of hand. I had been dating Ally since the summer and she was pressuring me to meet my family. Jordan and Embry were about the only people who approved of my relationship with Ally. She was a sweet girl but I had no feelings for her other than platonic ones. Jordan told me she was falling for me hard and that hurt me. I constantly told her that I was broken and no one could repair me but she told me that she would push past my damage. Jordan and Embry were under the illusion that I was happier but really I was just getting better at hiding my pain.

"Babe, wanna come join me?" Ally called from the shower. I was beginning to think that she was a little too controlling too. I had never done anything but make out with her. Of course she wanted more but I always kept firm not too.

"No I'm gonna finish getting ready." I hollered from the closet. The shower turned off and I grabbed our bags and sprinted into the living room with Embry and Jordan, because I knew she'd try to seduce me.

"Are you guys ready?" Embry asked from under Jordan. She was peppering him with kisses and I wanted to hurl.

"Yeah we are, are _you guys_?" I questioned disgusted as I walked out to my range rover. About ten minutes later they were all coming out to the car I sighed as Ally neared the car. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to end it soon before she wanted to marry me or something crazy like that. I mean every time I kissed her I couldn't help but fantasize about Renesmee. Apparently she was moving on too, she was dating a boy from California named Levi. She only got to see him a few times a month but he was helping her. I learned this on one of my many visits over to the Cullen's when she was in school. It hurt but at the same time we we're both doing what I said we needed to do; learning to live without each other. Ally climbed in next to me and took my hand.

"I'm so excited to see where you grew up Jake!" She squealed leaning in for a kiss. I obliged but pulled back quickly. "Are you okay baby?"

"Yeah just preoccupied with finals." I lied convincingly.

"You did fine I'm sure of it. We studied night and day for crying out loud." She replied looking out the window.

"Yeah you're probably right." I pulled out of the lot and down the road towards forks.

I floated into the gas station and stopped at a pump ready to fill my monster up. The girls clambered out of the truck and went off arm and arm up to the store.

"So introducing her to the family, things must be getting serious, ey?" Embry investigated smugly nudging me in the ribs. I shrugged my shoulders and continued to fill up. "Oh come on Jake? You like her?"

"Embry, do you think you'd be able to have feelings for anyone other than Jordan?" I asked already knowing the answer. He seriously thought about it and looked at me sympathetically.

"So then what the fuck are you doing?" He probed.

"I've tried to break up with her. She's just so gosh damn persuasive."

"Did you tell her you love somebody else?" He asked leaning on the truck.

"Well not in so many words but I told her I was damaged and she's one of the girls who insists on 'fixing' the guy she's with." I shrugged.

"But Jake man, introducing her to the family?"

"I didn't know what the fuck to do! She played the; my family is going on a cruise and I stayed here for you card."

"You gotta end this!" He said in a panic.

"No fucking shit Sherlock." I replied sarcastically while shaking my head. "Now you see it, you and Jordan have been pushing this on me since day one!"

"Because you seemed like you were becoming happy…" he answered back looking at the door.

"No, I was becoming an excellent actor." I shrugged.

"Fuck! What do we do?" he spewed anxiously.

"I dunno I'll find a way to end it. I only planned on introducing her to Rachel, Paul and Sarah." I shrugged putting the nozzle away.

"Why them?"

"Because I've been talking to Rachel about all of this...not to mention Ally has wanted to meet Sarah since the first time I mentioned her."

"Why haven't you talked to me about your real feelings?" he inquired looking like a wounded puppy.

"Because you were pushing this whole relationship on me remember!" I yelped slowly like he was stupid…which he was.

"Right…" just then the girls walked out with bags of junk food. We all got back in the car and were pulling into Rachel and Pauls' drive way in no time. Sarah waddled out of the house with Rachel right on her heels.

"Unca yake!" she squealed. I dropped to one knee and held my arms open as she galloped into them.

"Hey there bewutiful!" I said kissing her all over her face. It was amazing how much she looked more and more like my mom every day. The rain began to fall in thick sheets so we all rushed into the house.

"Rachel this is Ally, Ally this is my sister Rachel." I introduced them as we ducked inside.

"It's so nice to finally meet you!" Ally exclaimed. "And this must be little Sarah!" Ally commented rubbing one of Sarah's chunky legs. Sarah looked at her wearily before burying her face in my neck.

"She's a little shy." Rachel said rubbing her head.

"That's okay she'll warm up to me." Ally stated knowingly. Rachel gave a chuckle and a fake smile.

"Let me show you to your room." Rachel said grabbing a bag off the floor. The two of them left leaving Sarah, Jordan, Embry and I.

"Hey can I talk to you for a sec?" Embry asked motioning for me to hand Sarah over to Jordan. I kissed Sarah on her forehead and handed her over to Jordan. The two of them adored each other so I was okay with leaving them alone. I followed Embry out to the small sheltered porch and waited for him to start talking. But he didn't; he slipped his hand into his coat pocket and pulled out a little black box.

"I'm going to ask Jordan to marry me." He said opening the box and showing me a small but pretty diamond ring. My stomach dropped, but I smiled as big as I could. I was so jealous of all of these people in love and I wanted that. I wanted Renesmee; I felt like I was dying and I had nothing to live for without her. What the fuck was I doing?

"Really, man? Congratulations!" I commented pulling him into a hug.

"Yeah and I know that you're not into the whole love thing right now, but I wanna know if you'll be my best man?" he asked his eyes darting around.

"Of course, I will be." I answered back with a pat on the shoulder.

"Thanks." He said letting out a breath while relief flooded his face.

"Oh hey I wanna go see my dad but I need someone to distract Ally for a while, do you think you could for me?" I questioned.

"Yeah, when?"

"Probably tonight sometime I'll come pick her up from your mom's place tonight?"

"Sounds good just give me a call." I nodded and flung my arm over his shoulder. And here I thought Mr. Playboy of the century was never gonna settle down and now he was getting hitched.

I told Ally I had some last minute shopping to do but really I went to visit my dad. It was getting late, and I promised him I'd be back before I left, but tonight I had to go see someone. I inched the door open and looked up at the snow falling gently from the sky. I loved the snow and how magical it made everything feel. So I decided to take a detour to the beach before I went to get Ally. I walked slowly listening to the snow crunching beneath my feet. I broke the clearing and watched as the snow melted as it hit the ocean. I looked up and a break in the clouds revealed the bright moon…and that's when it happened, it was like a lullaby flowing out of her mouth but instead of putting me to sleep it was like it waking me up from the dead. I felt like I was deep down under a heavy fog I couldn't see her, but I could hear her. I could hear her telling me her favorite memory…but as I heard her saying it now in my head, I could see it happening; me sneaking into her room with all of her snow gear under my arm. I bent down and whispered in her ear to 'wake up little one' her beautiful eyes fluttered open and then she threw her arms around my neck. I remembered telling her that it was the first snow of the season and asking if she wanted to go somewhere special with me. I could see myself catching her as she fell out of the bed, then dressing her and walking through the woods. I could see it so clear in my mind and here her narration continuing as we both looked up at the same time and the clouds dispersed revealing a shooting star. How she scrunched her face up as I told her to make a wish and then I remembered thinking that I had everything I could ever wish for. I dropped to my knees as the damn broke. I saw Renesmee being born, imprinting on her. Watching her grow up into the beautiful woman she was now. Our first kiss, our first date, me realizing I was in love with her _everything_. I was the biggest fucking idiot in the world. I could feel the heat of my tears spilling over and I knew now who I was and where I was supposed to be….I could feel myself trembling and before I knew it I was flying through the woods on four legs. I howled as I ran telling someone to phase but I was not stopping. I felt my mind being invaded by Quil.

_Jake what's the matter? _Quil asked in a panic. When he caught my thoughts of what just happened I could feel his relief and happiness.

_I'll tell Embry, glad you're back. _And with that it was just me, my thoughts, and my memories! My memories my beautiful wonderful memories; they were back and I could hardly handle it. I pushed myself harder than I ever have and I could feel my heart mending in what felt like forever but I knew it wasn't long at all. I barreled through the back yard and there sitting in a neat pile was clothes. I heaved them on in a sloppy mess and bolted through the back door towards the reason I was even alive. I could hear Edward telling them that I got my memory back but I didn't care. I skidded to a halt outside her door and caught my breath before nudging it open. There she was laying in her bed, her beautiful curls flowing all over her pillow. I crept slowly to her bedside and I could hear her heart beating quickly in her chest. I stopped at the edge letting her sweet breath caress my face as I stared at her. There was tears slowly falling down her face and mine instantly began to blur my vision. I reached out to touch her but stopped short it was as if she would disappear as soon as I came in contact with her. Another tear escaped from her closed eye and it broke my heart but I reached out and brushed it away. I decided to crawl into bed next to her so I stood up and slid beside her where I gently pulled her close to me and wrapped my arms around her. I place my lips near her ear and whispered.

"Wake up little one." I could hear her heart beat accelerate but she still didn't open her eyes. "Nessie baby." I said softly. That did it; she shot up ramrod straight, breathing heavily. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her head in her lap. I sat up too and put my hand on her back causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. She fumbled for the light and flipped it on not taking her eyes off of me. I reached out for her and she flinched when I touched her.

"Nessie?" I questioned anxiously.

"OhmygoshJake!" she wailed and then she collapsed into my chest. I held her as she continued to sob. And all I could say was that I was sorry.

"I'm so sorry baby." I whispered rubbing her head as her crying began to slow. She finally looked at me and tears kept falling.

"What are you doing here? Are you leaving again?" she spewed out frenzied.

"I'm not going anywhere ever again." I stated firmly.

"Oh Jake please tell me this isn't a dream." She whispered not taking her eyes off of me.

"Nessie baby I'm so sorry I put you through that. But it's not a dream my memory came back…"I answered softly pushing a stray curl from her face. She leaned into my hand and continued to look at me.

"I've missed you so much." She answered quietly. And I couldn't take it any more I leaned forward and kissed her. It was just like I remembered but better; the electricity, the passion, the love. She got off the bed all the while not breaking apart from me and straddled me as she continued to deepen the kiss. But as much as I hated to I had to pull away.

"Ness…Ness…Nessie…Renesmee." I got out between kisses. She froze at the last one.

"Please don't ever call me that again." She said looking deep into my eyes. I nodded and I could see the pain.

"I think we owe the family an explanation?" I questioned still staring into her eyes. She grinned and shook her head no.

"My dad's a mind reader remember." She replied going back to kissing me.

"Yeah but Ness I'm not exactly thinking of what I should be." I said with a chuckle. She sighed and got off me but instantly took my hand. I scooted off the bed and turned back to her. She was kneeling on the edge looking at me like I was going to vanish.

"I love you so much." I said pulling her down into a kiss. We broke apart shortly after but she kept her forehead on mine looking me in the eyes.

"I love you too. More than anything in this world" she stated with so much love I couldn't take it; I crushed my lips to hers again and this time the only reason why we pulled apart was to catch our breath. I helped her off the bed and pulled her into a hug. I felt so good to have her in my arms, to hold her, to touch her. I buried my face in her curls and sighed in contentment. This girl was my whole heart and soul I don't know how I was away from her for one second.

"Can you ever forgive me?" I whispered from her hair. She pulled away and looked me in the eyes.

"As long as you promise to never _ever_ leave me again." She answered back seriously.

"Never ever baby, no matter what…Not even if you tell me to go. I'll always be right here." I spilled back.

"Good." Was all she said before I pulled her as close to me as I could. She nuzzled into my chest and I snuggled into her curls. And I meant what I said I would never leave her again.

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**Well Jake's Back! sorry it was a little short but i felt like because of all the reviews that i owed it to you guys not to leave you hanging six months... hope you enjoyed and thanks for the reviews. **


	21. Chapter 21

**Sm.**** That is all.  
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**A/N: Well here's the last chapter for this story...hope you enjoy it and thanks for following me on this journey even though i suck at updates! Thanks for all of you who did though it means the world...with out further delay. The final chapter  
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**RPOV**

It was a normal night for me…well a normal night since Jake left anyways, and I was floating in and out of consciousness. I woke up to a drenched pillow soaked from the sweat and tears evoked by my nightmare…or should I say the replays of the lonely desolate wasteland I call my life. The most vivid and frequent being the fight and Jake leaving me. I slid my eyes open and wanted nothing more than to roll over to Jacob looking back at me, but I had long ago let that fantasy die with all the rest of my hopes of having him back. I tossed the soaked pillow to the foot of my bed with more force than needed… and hit the stack of blu rays making them topple to the floor. I guess it was all of the anger, frustration, hurt and pain all raveled into one toss. I grunted hopelessly and grabbed another pillow, settling myself in for another few hours of restless tossing and turning. It was weird though this time. When I let the sleep encase me in its depths my dream was different…It was, happy. Since I was torn apart by Jake leaving, my dreams always seemed to be dark and shadowy forcing me to relive some of the most painful memories I had…and they were regrettably the last memories I had of him. But this one; _it was brimming with light and La push beach was playing as our stage. Jake and I were tangled up together and I could feel the cold Olympic air nip at my exposed skin that Jake wasn't heating with his electrifying touch. We were simply talking and I was staring at his gorgeous face trying to etch in my mind every beautiful feature that constructed him in to the perfect person he was. He was reciting a story about his tribe when he stopped midsentence and turned to me. My heart sped up and I could feel his sweet breath caressing my face with his tantalizing lips just inches from mine. I felt like I was drowning in his deep brown gaze as our eyes locked in a captivating stare; and just that look alone sent a flare of warmth jetting through my body in a spiraling tornado. In a soft whisper he said the words that I would never get use to but longed to hear slip from his lips as often as possible. "I love you Nessie" it was so pure and beautiful that a tear skated its way down my icy face. He reached out and brushed the tear away leaving flames where he touched. "Nothing will ever change that." and with that he closed the little distance that was between us and wrapped his loving arms around me. _In that moment it was like I could really feel him enveloping me in his warmth, pulling me close to him like he used to. I could feel my restlessness getting the best of me and I was skidding out of my beautiful dream world and in to the distorted reality of my life. I tried as hard as I could to will myself to stay here in the dream with the guy I loved so very much. But everything was slowly dimming and the shining light was becoming dull and murky. Just like that I was back to the darkness, but I could still feel the dream and Jake's arms resonating with me. I kept my eyes shut hoping I would slip back, but something was different. My heart...it was…whole. And then the world stopped as four simple words touched my soul.

"Wake up little one." They sang to my accelerated heart. I had to be having a flash back, or maybe I was still asleep? And then two more came jolting me up right. "Nessie baby." I couldn't breathe, I was so delusional I was creating Jake in the real world…Shit I was losing it. I found out on the nights when I was really on the brink of freaking out that if I pulled my knees to my chest, I could normally calm myself enough not to go over the edge. There was a touch…a warm familiar touch and I jumped back and searched the dark with my eyes for the source, stumbling upon a mountain of shadows. Fuck that was it, I had really lost it…I searched frenzied for the light not removing my eyes from the massive dark figure and when I flipped the light on he was there. My Jacob. But it couldn't be, the guy I loved had no idea who I was. He reached out and touched me sending a jolt through me, I flinched; not from the electric current, but from the memoires it dragged up. I stared at his charming face, making sure with all my might to avoid his eyes.

"Nessie?" he asked with worry flooding his beautiful face. I waited over a year to hear him call me that name and I lost it. I blubbered out something incomprehensible and fell to pieces in his massive chest. My heart was pounding in my ears so loud that I was surprised I could hear his soft apologies. Not to mention the uncontrollable sobbing that was stemming from the depths of my entire being. He just continued to say 'I'm sorry' as his caressed my head. I was almost feeling nauseous because I was sure that when I looked up into his eyes all I was going to see was a look that, the look I could be given by any stranger. Before the attack when Jake looked at me; it was like I was the only person in the whole entire world and I could feel so much emotion with just one glance in my direction, that it would make me shutter. And to open my eyes and look into his _empty_ eyes made my stomach contract. I couldn't take that again… I mean when he came to new York and stood there looking at me with nothing more than the hollowed look I'd been given since he came out of the god forsaken coma; I wanted to die. I was surprised I didn't crumple into a heap on the floor right then and there. It tortured me and I was terrified that, that was what I was facing. I calmed myself and inhaled apprehensively. This was it, I was going to have to face it someday. The tears continued to fall obnoxiously blurring my vision but I finally plucked up enough courage to look at him. I slowly dragged my gaze to his and in that moment I felt like I was floating away. It was him…My imprint. My heart. My soul. My Jacob. I could see the apologetic look, but most of all I could see the love he had for me. Before I got ahead of myself I needed him to answer the questions my mind was screaming.

"What are you doing here? Are you leaving again?" The questions stumbled out of my mouth in a muddled mess.

"I'm not going anywhere ever again." He stated in a firm voice. My heart nearly stopped as his words penetrated my skin all the way to my soul and lit my world on fire.

"Oh Jake, please tell me this isn't a dream." I whispered as my breath caught. I stared at him thinking that any second I was going to wake up and feel the vortex of pain I've been in for far too long.

"Nessie baby I'm so sorry I put you through that. But it's not a dream, my memory came back…" He reached out and gently pushed a stray curl from my face, but before he pulled his hand back I leaned into his palm and let the warmth send a tingling jolt all the way to my toes. I continued to stare at him for a few seconds and finally voiced what I've been thinking for what seemed like an eternity.

"I've missed you so much." He looked deep into my eyes sending another wave of warmth crashing over me and then he kissed me. It was unlike any kiss we've had before but yet just the same. It was electrifying, mind-blowing, passionate, pure, beautiful and most of all…It was filled with love. I couldn't help myself I needed more, I had been craving his touch for so long that I got caught up in the moment…I pushed him back on the bed and straddled him somehow not breaking the kiss but deepening it. He kept pulling away from me, I'm sure to try and get me to stop, but I just could not get enough of him…That is, until he called me Renesmee. My whole body went stiff as a flood of painful memories threatened to drown me. As I stared into his eyes I knew everything was going to be okay, so I made one request. "Please don't ever call me that again."

"I think we owe the family an explanation?" he asked after a nod. I grinned and shook my head no. The perks of having a mind reader for a father meant all you had to do, was think.

"My dad's a mind reader remember?" I answered back not stopping my peppering of kissing.

"Yeah but Ness I'm not exactly thinking of what I should be." He replied with a chuckle. Shit neither was I. My mom's shield had to be up or I'm sure there would be a very unhappy Edward Cullen bursting through that door any second now. I got off of him and grabbed his hand. I had to be touching him was like this was all so unreal. He scooted off the bed and turned to look at me causing my heart to remain at its accelerated rate if not quicken a few beats.

"I love you so much." He said as he pulled me gently towards him making our lips begin the synchronized dance they memorized all so well. He drew away from me but I kept our heads together so I could tell him what was in my heart.

"I love you too. More than anything in this world." I gushed letting the words flow from the depths of my soul. He crushed his lips to mine only pulling away when I was breathless. He helped me off the bed and took me into my favorite place in the world… his arms. As he buried his face in my curls I heard him let out a sigh of contentment and I knew we were both where we wanted to be and were we needed to be.

After a minute or so he asked me a question that didn't even need to be asked. "Can you ever forgive me?"

I pushed away from him to make sure he understood I did and to feel the gravity of my answer. "As long as you promise to never ever leave me again."

"Never ever baby, no matter what…not even if you tell me to go. I'll always be right here." He poured out staring me in the eyes.

My knees were getting weak and I was losing my ability to speak, so all I said was "Good."

He pulled me as close as he could and nuzzled into my curls and I snuggled comfortably in his chest for what felt like forever and also not enough time, because soon enough Jake pulled away and inhaled a deep gulp of air as he ruffled his hair.

"Jake what's wrong?" I asked anxiously taking his hand. He stared out the window like he was watching a scene unfold before his eyes.

"I broke your heart and for that I'll never forgive myself… and I don't know if they will either." He answered softly finally looking into my eyes. I leaned up on my toes and pulled him to me so I could kiss him.

"All that matters is that you came back to me." I whispered. He gave me a small smile and kissed me on the forehead.

"I'm the biggest asshole in the world, will you ever forgive me?" He questioned again with a strained mumble. I sighed because I knew that he was going to continue to ask for forgiveness that was already granted. Jake had a relentless guilt streak and nothing I was going to be able to say was going to ease that.

"You're never going to drop this are you?" I shook my head and started pulling him towards the hallway; maybe someone else could help me rationalize this to him.

"Ness…" he trailed off as we reached the living room where everyone was sitting anticipating us.

"Uh hey." He grumbled awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Jacob we're so glad you're back." Grandma spilled pulling him into a hug. I could see the tension in his back relax and I could feel the release in his hand. He guided me to the chair, sat me down and then sat on the arm next to me before he said anything.

"Look I just want to say I'm really sorry…I'm a real idiot." He said staring down at our hands.

"Jacob, we all make mistakes and you weren't exactly you…"Dad commented.

"Yeah Jake we're just glad your back and Renesmee is happy again." Mom added on soothingly. He looked up and caught my eye and my breath hitched in my chest. Happy couldn't even being to come close to the emotions I was feeling right now.

"Now I really feel safe with our guard dog back again, all you have to do is howl when we have an intruder and you'll be rewarded with a biscuit." Uncle Emmett grinned. Jake bellowed a laugh and I nearly started to cry, it was insane how much I missed him and now that he was here I was never going to let him go.

"It felt so odd not having you around." Aunt Alice chimed in from her spot on the floor.

"Yeah as much as I hate to say it, you add a certain dynamic to this family." Aunt Rose stated, all eyes shot to her and she shrugged. "I said I hated to say it." We all laughed and everything felt right. Everyone eventually dispersed and it was just Jake and I left. He looked down at me and pulled our intertwined hands to his lips where he placed a soft warm kiss.

"I can't believe I missed a year without you. I'm so sorry." He muttered not taking his eyes from mine. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Jacob Black, What is it going to take for you to stop with this whole feeling guilty thing?" I replied exasperated.

"I don't know time…until I know you've forgiven me, and I can forgive myself." He answered back honestly.

"One thing you do have is my forgiveness." I assured him with a smile.

"That's too easy." He replied with a sigh. I huffed out grunt and sank into the overstuffed arm chair.

"What if I tell you I can rationalize why you did it?" I questioned under my breath.

"What do you mean?" his eyes searched my face curiously.

"Well uh, there was this guy who was falling for me in my summer program. But I obviously didn't feel the same way…and he knew that. Seeing that look in his eyes was enough to make me wanna wretch." I babbled.

"That doesn't justify my leaving." He groaned. It was hopeless I could talk to him about this until I was blue in the face and it wouldn't change a damn thing…I knew him to well.

"Well you know what you can do?" I inquired softly staring into his deep brown eyes.

"What?" he wondered trapped in my gaze.

"You can come cuddle with me until I fall asleep." I stated. He nodded his head pulled me up, and guided me to his room. As soon as we were at the bed he pushed the covers down and I slid into them and waited for him to get in before snuggling into his chest. It was a one in one thousand night because the moon was making an appearance over the clouds and I could just make out his face in the pale light. I pushed away from his chest, looked into his molten eyes and instantly I turned to liquid in his arms.

"I love you." he whispered not taking his eyes from mine.

"I love you." I echoed softly before bringing my lips to his. He kissed me gently until I couldn't breathe and then he drew me back to his chest. The soft rhythmic hum of our hearts beating in total synchronization lulled me to sleep in seconds. I awoke to Jake shifting his arm from under me to grab his phone off the night stand.

"Hello?" he croaked. I could hear a low frenzied voice spilling into the night and I was suddenly on high alert. I laid there as still as I could not letting Jake know I was awake.

"Shit I totally forgot about Ally." He moaned. I immediately stiffened at the girl's name. Who the fuck was she?

"Alright, alright um, just tell her a family emergency came up, and that she should go to bed and I'll be there in the morning." He replied with a loud exhale. He clicked the phone off dropped it on the table and dragged his hands down his face.

"Fuck." He grunted before turning to wrap his arms back around me.

"Who's Ally?" I questioned trying to keep the jealousy out of my voice.

"She's the girl I've been seeing since the beginning of fall semester." He answered his voice steady and cool.

"You were dating?" I inquired in a broken tone. He turned me over so I was facing him and looked directly at me.

"I told you I was the world's biggest asshole. I was trying to do whatever I could do to ease the pain." He said back anxiously. "I'm so sorry baby." I was just as guilty of that too though. I had been taking visits pretty often to see Levi in California, but I wouldn't say we were together. Jake could see the guilt on my face because he asked me what was wrong.

"Uh well we think a like because I've been seeing, and I use the term loosely. But I've been seeing a guy I met in my summer art program." He swallowed hard and inhaled deeply before answering.

"I know and I only have myself to blame." I rolled my eyes because I really didn't want to go there.

"So you have to go see her?" I asked the jealousy peaking again.

"Yeah I have to do this in person, will you come with me?" He wondered like a little boy asking his crush for ice-cream. His eyes were rounded as he looked at my face in the moon light.

"Of course, did you really think I'd let you go without me?" I questioned knowingly. He grinned and kissed me softly.

"I love you." he gushed when he pulled away.

"Oh Jake you have no idea how much I love you." I said brushing his shaggy hair from his eyes.

"I think I do." He replied before kissing me again and sitting up in the bed. "If we're gonna be there by morning we have to leave now."

"I'll grab a few things and then we can tell my parents." Twenty minutes later I was holding his hand as we cruised down the highway towards our home.

"I think I want my parents to withdraw me from school." I stated as I watched the random lights of the town flicker by.

"Why?" he interrogated with genuine interest.

"Because I don't want to be away from you, I want to go to college with you." I shrugged like it was so obvious.

"But you really only have a semester left, just graduate and then you should be able to make a decision about what path you want to take after."

I groaned. "Yeah I can stick it out for six more months, but it's the after part that makes me cringe."

"Why what's wrong?" he probed as he continued to split his attention between the road and I.

"My parents are going to try to force a degree on me…" I grumbled.

He sighed and answered with what seemed to always be the damn answer to things regarding _my _life. "But baby they're just trying to do what's best for you."

I grumbled "I know, but really no matter how normal they want me to_ feel,_ I'm not normal and I never will be."

"Yeah you're freakishly abnormal." He shot jokingly. I giggled and looked at him.

"All joking aside I'm not normal and I think it's about time they stop trying to force me to be."

"They're just doing it for your own good." He commented again. I grunted in reply to that stupid ass answer.

"Yeah but it's my life and it's time they accept that I'm not a child anymore. I'm in love and I'm ready to start living my life with the guy I'm in love with." I stated firmly.

"What?! You're in love! I'm gonna have to kick this guy's ass because you're all mine!" he wailed in mock outrage. I laughed at him and hit him in the side with my free hand.

"Yeah I'm in love with a Jackass named Jacob." I chuckled. "And yes sir, you are correct. I _am_ all yours." I leaned over the arm rest and placed a kiss on his cheek as he pulled into our old driveway. He shifted to park and turned to look at me. His eyes were on fire as his penetrating stare met mine.

"You Miss Cullen are the light and center of my universe I am fully and eternally yours." He expelled before crushing his lips to mine. I could feel things between us shift…I wanted more. I wanted him completely and fully. Being away from him for so long and craving his touch made me realize this. The conversation I had with my mom over a year ago floated back into my mind, And that's when it hit me…he had been 'seeing' this Ally girl for more than a few months how far had they gone? I stopped abruptly and pulled away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked shocked.

"You and Ally…" I trailed off hoping he would catch my insinuation.

"What about us?" he probed confused.

"Didyoutwohavesex?" I rushed out in an incoherent sentence before holding my breath. It took him a second to get what I said, but when he comprehended it realization washed over his face and I felt mine beginning to burn.

"Oh no. no, no,no it was never like that between us. The most we did was make out…and every time we did all I could think about was you." he rambled out. I exhaled and bit my lip. Was he ready? Was I ready?

"Nessie?" he questioned anxiously when I didn't say anything.

"Let's go break up with a girl." I commented before pushing the door to his truck open and sprinting towards the stairs. He was right on my heels as he caught my wrist and softly turned me to him before I could unlock the door.

"What's wrong?" he asked concern etched all over his face. I sucked in a breath and nibbled anxiously on the bottom of my lip trying to think of ways to get out of this conversation. He was just about to say something when his phone started going off in his pocket. Phew saved by the bell. I shoved the key into the door leaving him on the porch. What if he didn't want me like that yet… after all the rejection I had faced in the past year with him I don't think I could handle that rejection too. I flopped down on the couch trying to come up with something.

"Ness we gotta go Ally's freaking out." he stated irritably.

"What do you mean?" I investigated as I followed him back out to the Range Rover.

"She thinks I'm cheating on her…" He said once we were in the car. He threw it into reverse and sped down the driveway to the street. "Fuck this is going to be a lot harder than I anticipated." He grumbled under his breath. I let him focus on the impending break up to keep his mind off of our conversation we had. So when we pulled up in front of Embry's moms' house he was more rational.

"Will you be okay in here? I don't really want you to have to hear us." he stated as he turned the truck off. "I guess you don't have a choice you get to see this first hand." He added as he looked past me out of the midnight dark tinted windows. A pretty, tall, black haired girl was walking slowly out of the house and I could tell it was taking all she had not to burst into tears. Jake inhaled, pecked me on the cheek and got out closing the door behind him. I sat quiet and still letting my vampire senses take over.

"Hey Ally." Jake started awkwardly.

"Jake, what's going on? I heard your sister talking about how you're in love with another girl named Renesmee?" she babbled trying to keep her voice steady. I could see Jakes stress signs coming out as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Uh yeah, I am."

"What do you mean you are?" she spat with hurt and anger spilling out.

"I told you I was damaged, I told you I shouldn't be in a relationship." Jake answered back sympathetically. That did it; the dam broke and the tears started spilling down her cheeks. I could see Jake visibly cringe.

"So this is my fault?" she asked as she tried to wipe the tears away.

"No not at all. But I've come to see what an asshole I've been…and I… I uh…I went to get her back." He stuttered. She took a quick intake of breath like someone had just kicked her in the stomach. "I'm so sorry Ally; I never meant to hurt you."

"So you left me last night to be with her and you _lied _about it? I would say you did mean to hurt me because if you didn't mean to you wouldn't have."

"You have to understand it wasn't my intention to hurt you. But my mind, my mind has been in a fog for the past year and the fog was lifted last night and I finally realized she's the girl I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life." I smiled at that. I heard her let out a sob and I knew what she was going through, no one should know what it feels like to have your heart torn out and stomped on. I winced having vivid flashbacks of when Jake left me…until his soothing voice pulled me back.

"I'm sorry Ally, but I love her."

"And there's nothing I can do to change your mind?" he shook his head slowly.

"She's the only one who makes my heart beat; she's the love of my life, and my soul mate." My heart began racing. He was so amazing it was obvious why I love him so much.

"So then why did you leave her in the first place?"

"Because my mind was in a fucked up place, I didn't know who I was…but I know now, I'm hers. And I'm sorry for leading you on in the process." He replied gently.

"Oh Jacob, I was really starting to fall for you." she sniffled running her hand through her long black locks.

"All I can really say is that I really am genuinely sorry." He replied putting his arms out for her. She slumped into him and sniffled for a minute before letting him go.

"Look I have family that lives in Seattle. I'm gonna take a bus there and spend the holidays with them." She said with a steady voice.

"Let me at least drive you to the bus station?"

"Okay. But I have to go get my stuff from your sisters."

"Let me. You say goodbye to Jordan and Embry and I'll be right back." She nodded and walked back to the house. Jake heaved a sigh before coming back to the car. As soon as he got in my lips were all over him.

"I love you so much!" I radiated as he pulled back smiling.

"I love you more." He replied with a chuckle. I was one hundred percent sure neither of us could live without the other, so we were even…he pecked me the cheek making my pulse speed up to an impossible rate.

"So are you ready to meet Sarah?" he questioned as he pulled away from the house.

"I absolutely am. I feel so bad that I haven't yet, it was just too hard for me to face this place without you." I answered back as I watched the dark blurs of the trees fly by.

"I know, I know." He mumbled taking my hand. I shifted my attention from the window to his face. My stomach fluttered and my heart melted as I really took him in…he was mine and we could finally begin to be the imprint couple I've always longed for but thought we could never be. He took his eyes from the road for a quick second and gave me a warm smile.

"What baby?" he questioned as he tossed his gaze back to the familiar streets we called home.

"I'm just so lucky to have you." I casually answered with a shrug. He pulled our intertwined hands to his lips and placed an electrifying kiss upon them.

"I love you." he whispered, his breath tickling the back of my hand before he pulled it close for another kiss. I smiled at him as the car glided to a smooth halt. Rachel was sitting on the porch while a small bundle rolled around in the snow giggling with Paul. I flung the door open and fumbled out in a hurry. Rachel looked up and her eyes grew eight sizes as she took me in.

"Nessie? Is that you?" she wondered walking towards me slowly.

"You haven't heard?" Jake answered coming to my side. "I got my memory back." He added looking down at me making my heart skip a few beats. A smile spread across Rachel's face as she pulled the two of us in for a hug.

"Oh my gosh finally!" she squealed with delight.

"What's all the excitement about?" Paul asked coming over carrying the round ball.

"Jake got his memory back!" Rachel informed him reaching out for the baby who in turn put her arms out for her. "Let's go inside and we can all catch up." Jake looked at me and swallowed.

"Uh you guys go ahead I have to take Ally to the bus station…I just gotta grab her stuff." Rachel nodded and led us into the quaint house. I kicked my boots off at the door and waited for Jake to come back out of the spare bedroom. He rounded the corner with a vomit inducing pink suitcase and set it down next to me as he pulled me into his arms.

"Are you going to be okay for an hour or so?" he questioned softly into my ear. It was my turn to swallow hard as I took the time to answer. As much as I didn't want to let him out of my sight; it would be like a punch in the face to open the door and see the girl that your boyfriend is leaving you for in the back seat.

"Yeah I'll play with Sarah and catch up with Rachel…you go and hurry back to me." I replied rubbing his arms that were tightly wrapped around my waist. I reached up as far as I could on my toes and he met me for a kiss that had my head spinning.

"I love you and I'll be back as fast as I can." I nodded; he placed a soft kiss on my forehead and slipped out the door taking my heart with him. Even though I knew he was coming back it was so hard to let him go; I'd just got him back. I swallowed a cry back and brushed away the tears that managed to slide down my face. Things were still the same when we were apart; my heart felt like it was violently ripped from my chest. But I was a little more used to it now, and knowing that he was coming back made all the difference in the world. Taking a deep breath I made my way over to the couch where Rachel was unbundling the baby.

"Okay little one." She ogled placing Sarah on her feet. I took a quick intake of breath, Jake had shown me a few pictures of his mom throughout the years and she was almost a spitting image of her.

"She's beautiful." I whispered not taking my eyes from her. She waddled over to me and reached out for me to pick her up. I lifted her into my lap and pushed a stray hair from her eyes.

"Hi Sarah."I murmured.

"This is your Auntie Nessie." Rachel said from the couch across from us.

"Aunnessie." She cooed playing with one of my curls that was hanging over my shoulder.

"She looks just like your mom." I commented looking at Rachel. Rachel gave me a warm smile and nodded.

"She has her demeanor, and Paul's temper." Rachel chuckled.

"What about me? Are we talking about how good looking I am again?" Paul investigated as he flopped down on the couch next Rachel with a bag of chips.

"Of course we were sweetie." Rachel shot back rolling her eyes. "Are you hungry Nessie?"

"Yeah and I'm sure Jake is too. I could help you make something if you'd like?" I questioned.

"Sure that'd be great, you can give Sarah to Paul she loves watching sports with him." She shook her head as she walked towards the kitchen. "And I wanted a girl so bad." I snickered as I set Sarah down next to Paul who cuddled into his side. I realized that this was what I wanted...a family and a life with Jake. A baby who had the best attributes of the both of us. I went into the kitchen and caught up on all of the pack news and life since I'd been away. Everything was pretty much the same except that Ashley and Brady had eloped and were expecting a baby. Jake finally bustled through the door shaking stray snowflakes from his hair. It took all I had not to bolt from the stool I was sitting in and tackle him, but I controlled myself and waited until he came and spun me around bending down to kiss me.

"How was it?" I questioned innocently.

"It was a little awkward but we agreed to stay friends." He shrugged dipping his finger in the mashed potatoes. Rachel popped his hand and rolled her eyes as she grabbed the bowl off the counter to bring it to the small table.

"That's good." I replied trying not to let the jealousy edge into my voice.

Which I apparently didn't do a very good job of, judging by his next comment; He leaned down next to my ear and whispered. "You're too cute, but you have absolutely nothing to be worried about. I only have eyes for you and only you." and then he kissed me on the cheek as he grabbed my hand to lead me to the table.

* * *

I had managed to survive the six months I had left of high school and it was finally my graduation day. Things with Jake were even better than I could have asked for…I hadn't gotten the nerve up to talk to him about sex but I'm not going to lie and say we didn't come close a few times. Come to think of it we hadn't talked much about our future at all. I was too fragile and I knew I couldn't take the rejection if he didn't want what I wanted. I was signed up for the fall semester at the same college Jake went to. I was following in my grandfather's footsteps by going into premed and paving my own path with a minor in performance art. But I wasn't completely sure if that was what I wanted. I mean Jake and I had an eternity to be together but I wanted to start a life and a family with him now. I would give up my education for that…but my parents on the other hand were not willing to let me. The downside of having a father as a mind reader was that he knew what I wanted, and he did not agree to say the least.

I was lying in bed facing the windows focusing on Jakes heart beat in the next room...a few weeks after things started going back to normal so did the rules which meant I was forced to sleep alone. I heard a door open and the soft footsteps of someone, I knew immediately it was Jake. He continued to creep soundlessly across my room my only detection of him being my vampire senses honing in on his beating heart. He crawled into my bed and slipped under the covers pulling me close to him. I kept my eyes shut and absorbed his warmth and the electricity coursing rapidly through my whole body. A smile flowed on my face as I heard our hearts synchronize.

"When did you know I was here?" he questioned quietly into my ear.

"When you opened the door, I was focusing on you." I replied softly, turning towards him in his arms.

"I love you." he whispered kissing me gently.

"And I you." I sighed and buried my face in his chest in contentment. We laid like this for an undetermined amount of time until he reminded me that I had a big day ahead of me.

"Are you ready for this?" I continued not to say anything and simply nodded from my favorite place in the world. "The devil pixie is on her way up here to start your preparation." I snorted into his chest and pulled myself back into the daylight. Right on cue there was a knock on the door.

"Nessie we have t-minus two hours to get you ready come on!" Aunt Alice wailed through the door. Jake and I both laughed as I stumbled out of bed to open it.

"Okay, okay I'm getting in the shower now." I chuckled.

"Good, I'll go get the room ready for you!" she sang as she bounced away. I looked back at Jake who was sitting on the edge of my bed shaking his head.

"You'd think it was your wedding day for crying out loud." He grumbled amused as he got up to walk towards me. My stomach dropped at his comment. I really needed to talk to him about our life together. I wanted him to be mine in every way possible…but did he? My mind cleared at his touch as he pulled our bodies together.

"I'll see you when you're all ready and we're leaving." And with that he placed a breath taking kiss on my lips and vanished leaving me wanting more. I trekked to the bathroom ready to start this monumental day.

Two hours later I was looking at myself in the full length mirror in my room. I was wearing a strapless baby blue dress that was bunched in the chest and fell just below my knees. I had silver heels that matched the random pops throughout the dress and my hair was loosely flowing down my back in my natural curls. Jake came up behind me wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on my cheek.

"You look breath taking." He whispered in my ear sending a chill up my spine. I turned in his arms so I was facing him and drew him down to kiss me. A throat clearing at the door alerted me we weren't alone. We quickly pulled away to find my parents in the doorway.

"It's time to go." My dad sighed out. He was getting used to Jake and me… I mean he hardly got angry anymore. But the sighing was his usual reaction. Jake and I both nodded and he took my hand and led me down to the cars.

As I sat next to Kenzie I listened to her rambling on about how exciting USC was going to be, and how much she was going to miss me, and how I had to come visit her. But to be honest I wasn't very fond of that idea because I had spent many weekends in southern California visiting Levi. Though I knew that he was all the way across the country at Julliard, it just wasn't a time I cared to drag up. I really wasn't a part of the conversation like I knew I should have been, but today was such a pivotal day that I couldn't pull myself from my own thoughts. Kenzie of course didn't know that I wasn't paying attention because I knew when to chime in with a nod or a simple answer to keep her going. After today I would have no reason to really be away from Jake. The only thing that would separate us would be a few measly classrooms or a campus, and that was a hell of a lot better than miles and towns apart. And knowing that gave me a relief I didn't know I needed as much as I wanted.

The ceremony began and my stomach began to flutter as the names were called…after all I was the world biggest klutz and I'm sure I would fall at some point. I heard my name Echo through the auditorium and my heart began pounding in my ears drowning nearly everything out but the cheering. I stood slowly and ventured up to the stage cautiously trying not to fall. I made it in one piece and upon receiving my diploma I threw my family a blinding smile and held up the small paper of freedom in my hands. I could see all of their faces through the crowd but I zoned in on Jakes. He was smiling his best Jacob smile clapping and my heart leapt…I was done.

The ceremony came and went and my friends and I were all standing in the lawn looking for our families. I noticed that Lance's sidekick Tayvien hadn't gone up to get his diploma. As much as I hated to ask I was curious.

"Hey Lance where's Tayvien?" I inquired.

He shrugged. "Said he was sick, I told him he would only graduate once, but he refused to go."

"What an idiot." Kenzie commented. Just then I felt a cold hand clasp around my wrist and a low frantic whisper.

"Say goodbye to your friends we have to go immediately." My mom informed me. I nodded and tried to keep the panic off my face.

"Look guys I'm going to have catch up with you later, my family just texted me where they are." I lied smoothly. I rounded them with hugs and made my way through the crowd to where we parked. I fumbled into the car took Jake's hand and the second the door was closed I started demanding answers.

"What's going on?" I spewed instantly.

"Not now Renesmee, wait until we're home." My dad shot back shortly letting me know this was more serious than I predicted. I looked at Jake who shrugged and continued to hold my hand. We were home in no time and everyone was on edge as we gathered in the living room.

"Well?" I voiced into the tension filled air.

"I know who the vixen is that had Tomas and Samson try to kill Jake." My dad stated looking at Jake and me.

"What?! How, Who?" I babbled out shocked and confused.

"It's Tayvien's mother."

"Wait what?" I investigated still mixed up.

"There's a picture of them in the hallway of the school with a caption that says; 'Cassandra, Victor and Octayvein Martin the donors of the new library.'"

"So why the hell are they after Jake and Nessie?" Uncle Emmett roared.

"I'm not sure, but I think we need to really think about what we're going to do about this." Grandpa chimed in.

"I agree. Maybe we should move? Now would be the perfect time." Dad commented.

"Move where?" Jake asked concerned.

"We've been contemplating Buffalo New York for our next move." Grandpa answered back cautiously.

"That far?" Jake groaned dropping his head in his hands.

"We could buy a jet Jacob, if that would help?" Grandma replied anxiously trying to ease Jakes ill feelings. Jake chuckled from his palms.

"Look I'm going where ever Nessie goes, I'll be fine. You don't have to buy a plane for me." He commented back taking my hand and looking at me with that look. My heart started pounding in my ears as I nearly melted in my seat.

"I don't see why we're running!" Uncle Emmett bellowed voicing what I had yet to say.

"Because Emmett we don't know what they're plotting…and the last thing we want is another war." Grandpa commented calmly.

"So that's it then? We're moving to Buffalo?" Aunt Rosalie inquired.

"If everyone's in agreement." Grandpa answered. "And New York has some amazing school as well. Jacob you and Renesmee could have you're pick of anyone of them…Cornell, NYU, Syracuse, Colombia."

"I guess I should start looking at schools in New York then huh?" Jake asked.

"If we all agree." Grandma said looking around the room getting nods from everyone. So that was it. We we're moving to New York.

* * *

**A/N: well...That's it. I know it was a bit of a cliff hanger but i promise if you follow the next story it will answer all the questions. Thanks so much for all the reviews and sticking in there for it. Until next time! :)**


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